December STM+ Check In

FigTreeMama

Starting a new thread for December (for moms with one or more kids prior to this pregnancy). 

EDD/Weeks + Days: 

How old is/are your other kid(s)? 

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing?

Any questions/concerns?

How did/will you tell your LO(s) about the baby?  

hanshotfirst77

EDD/Weeks + Days: 11+3, 6/21

How old is/are your other kid(s)? 5

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? He’s doing good. Rocking kindergarten. So excited for Christmas and all the snow we’ve been getting. 

Any questions/concerns? My son has been extra clingy lately. Like if I’m out of his sight for 30 seconds he is so upset. I’m starting to worry how it will go when baby is here and I can’t give him 100% of my attention. 

How did/will you tell your LO(s) about the baby? 

I showed him the sonogram and explained that was his baby brother or sister. He was so excited. Told me he needed a minute alone in his room. Ran in there and screamed loudly “This is amazing!!!” Now he tells me all the time the list of baby things we need. 

kerco925

EDD/Weeks + Days:  June 1/ 14+2

How old is/are your other kid(s)? DD is 6

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing?  She is great.  Loving first grade this year and staying busy with dancing classes. 

Any questions/concerns?  Nope

How did/will you tell your LO(s) about the baby?  After my NT scan, we had her open up a bracelet that says "Big Sister".  She is super excited and started telling her friends about her baby brother. 

mountainmenmama

EDD/Weeks + Days: 12+5??

How old is/are your other kid(s)? 3yo & 1yo

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? They're good. Being super cute and helpful. Making me even more excited I get to have another one!

Any questions/concerns? It's the time of the year of sugar! We live in a duplex and my grandparents live in the other apartment. The kids and I have been baking for little presents for friends, so they eat at least some sugar during that, then Advent calendars are a big thing here and we got ones as presents from friends, so there's another daily chocolate (although we 'forget' a lot of the time), then the kids pop over to my grandmother, and Bam more cookies and chocolate. I hate telling her what to give them - when I'm almost 90 and nothing in life is really that awesome anymore, if I want to give little great gran kids chocolate I want to be able to do it. (It's actually not frequent, she's much more into fruits and veggies, it's just this time of year)

How did/will you tell your LO(s) about the baby? I just sat 3yo down and told him. He's excited but sad now since he's getting another brother and he really wanted a sister  

pourmeanothermocktail

EDD/Weeks + Days: 13+4

How old is/are your other kid(s)? 3.5 years, 15 months

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? Oldest is doing great, excelling in preschool, freshly toilet trained, thinking about starting overnights in underwear. 15 month old has only one more molar to break through in next week, just took her first few steps, and we're anxiously waiting for first words. She should be moving into her own toddler bed in her brother's room in next few weeks too. BIG changes for a little monkey.

Any questions/concerns? Just trying to figure out how to make it through my husband's business trips with two little ones, pregnant, broken pelvis, and manage to not be super unpleasant. It's...hard. We can't afford take out/play places on the regular, so it's a lot of work and no rest for me when he's out. And it's 1-4 times per month. Ew.

How did/will you tell your LO(s) about the baby?  We told our oldest, just the other day. He remembers his sister growing in my belly, so of talked about it some more, to remind him to be gentle with my belly, etc. He seems pretty happy, he totally loves his sister, and having her around. He's begging for her to move into his room asap. We will really try to explain it to her much later. She wouldn't understand now, might not before birth, but we'll try. Probably around early April when you can see baby's movements. Or maybe in May when we reconfigure car and install new seat.

FigTreeMama

EDD/Weeks + Days: 13 + 6

How old is your other kid? 2! 

How is your kiddo doing? She is going through some big toddler feelings and has had a couple of days recently where she does not want mommy, and others where she’s extra sweet and cuddly. She really loved celebrating her birthday and is still talking about it excitedly and reminding us she is TWO! She is also still sleeping on the floor next to her toddler bed, for those following along from before. 

Any questions/concerns? None that I can think of. I was definitely concerned over Thanksgiving when my 5.5 year old niece was climbing on me and generally playing rough - her Grandmom finally came out and told her (which I thought her mom already had) “there’s a baby in there! You need to be gentle.” She was so excited and said she couldn’t wait to feel her little cousin moving. Maybe at Christmas! 

How did/will you tell your LO about the baby?  We have told her she is having a baby sister but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t get what that means. We won’t get into talking about it much or reading books until it’s a bit closer. I would love book recommendations. 

mountainmenmama

@FigTreeMama we used Rachel Fuller's new baby series. They are awesome. They have one with a pregnant Mama and then three about what's it's like for a toddler to have a sibling. I just started reading the pregnant Mama to my 1yo and we pet the Mama belly in book and say there's a baby in there and then he does the same to me. The last page the baby comes home and he always gives it a kiss. I feel like even this little (1yo is 17 months... I think?) They understand so much. I know worth my first these books really helped - reading them everyday and we had zero jealousy issues. His natural temperament probably has a lot to do with that, but he was really really clingy and I thought it wouldn't as smooth as it was. 

chaos-and-coffee

EDD/Weeks + Days: 12+2

How old is/are your other kid(s)? Almost 13 months

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? Great! Moving steadily into the defiant toddler stage, but he’s the best boy. Sleeping worlds better now that he’s in his own bed. 

Any questions/concerns? Anyone have an 18-19 month age difference - did you put older kid in a toddler bed and give new baby the crib, or buy a second crib and keep both in cribs? 

How did/will you tell your LO(s) about the baby? He’s too little to understand now, and I don’t know if he’ll get it at any point until the baby is actually here. We’ll see. 

runwmusic

@chaos-and-coffee we are buying a second crib but you know ds. I wouldn't trust him being free in his room over night. 

pourmeanothermocktail

@chaos-and-coffee Our oldest was still in a crib at 27 months when second was born. We found a used mini crib (seriously it's tiny, the size of a side car co-sleeper, much smaller footprint than a pack and play, can drag it through doorways without trouble) for number 2. Now that she is 15 months, and oldest is 3.5, and in a twin bed for almost 8 months, we actually just set up the full size crib as a daybed with railing last week. We're going to try it out for naps soon, and bedtime in a few weeks. It's also in her brother's room, so we'll see how it goes. She'll be 21 months when baby arrives.

kyrwyn

EDD/Weeks + Days: June 26, 10 + 6

How old is/are your other kid(s)? 2

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? He's great! Rocking the Twos class at daycare (part time), super into wooden trains right now, and looking forward to his belated bday party on Saturday. We're getting into multi-word sentences and he's gotten very clear about communicating what he wants and needs over the last week or two.  Definitely some Two tantrums, but he's really the sweetest kid.

Any questions/concerns? Seconding the books questions -- and thanks to @yesimpeeingagain for the recommendation up thread.

How did/will you tell your LO(s) about the baby?  DS likes to climb up on me and bounce on my lap so we told him early that there's a baby in Mama's body and he has to be gentle right now.  He's been kind of "eh" about it until this week, when he randomly came up to me, patted my belly, said "Baby" and then kissed it.  He's also asked if "mama baby" can "play trains" and is really excited about that idea. I asked him once if he wanted a brother or sister and he said "Wookie." So I think we're pretty on par for two-year-old understanding at the moment.  

hayhay2501

EDD/Weeks + Days: 12+1

How old is/are your other kid(s)? She’s three in January! 

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing?: She swings from being super sweet to being the queen of tantrums. Really hope the 3s are easier for all of us!! And next week she’s making her debut in her preschool play as the Christmas tree 🤣

Any questions/concerns? Just trying to figure out how I’ll fit two kids in a 600 sq foot flat 🤣🤣. Really need to reorganise our closets! 

How did/will you tell your LO(s) about the baby?  We’ve started talking about the baby. She knows there’s a baby in my tummy but I don’t think it’s clicked that it will come out one day aha. Also she wants to name the baby whether it’s a boy or girl Lula.

JessiBride

@hayhay2501 - don't shoot the messenger...in my experience, (and everyone I know), 3 is much harder than 2. 

pourmeanothermocktail

JessiBride said:

@hayhay2501 - don't shoot the messenger...in my experience, (and everyone I know), 3 is much harder than 2. 

+1. My son started with the hard km handle very new style tantrums maybe 3/4 months before he turned 3. He's now 3.5 and it's getting more often and more difficult to manage. He's a wonderful kid, but damn. I'm holding out hope that he'll have more ability to express his emotions helpfully, and more ability to use logic.

mountainmenmama

@hayhay2501 I think it totally depends on your kid... Mine started tantrums intense, multiple a day at around 1.5... and they ended right around 3. Now he's so easy with only rare tantrum moments and those are usually my fault (ie when I'm moody, and not controlling myself as well as I should be). 

hayhay2501

@yesimpeeingagain I will PRAY this will be us. She started tantrums at 14 months so we’ve been dealing with them for a LONG time 😅

mountainmenmama

@hayhay2501 Worst case she'll outgrow it by 18 ;-) at least that's what I always tell anyone when they ask when kids will sleep in their own room but I'm sure it'll be far sooner than that

FigTreeMama

Today we signed this May/June 2020 baby up for daycare starting January 2021! Fortunately it sounds like it will not be a problem to get a spot because siblings get preference and we want to send her to the same place our 2 year old already goes. 

chaos-and-coffee

Held my newborn niece tonight at a family party, and when DS saw me, he had a complete and utter meltdown. He wouldn’t go to his dad, and was not consoled until I gave the baby back and held him. I didn’t realize he’s never seen me hold a baby, and now I’m so worried about how he will handle his sibling! He’s almost 13 months now, so will be about 18-19 when baby gets here. Anyone go through something similar? 

hayhay2501

@chaos-and-coffee i remember my daughter doing something similar when I held my friends baby when she was around 12-13 months. I don’t have solid advice but I know the difference between a 13 month old and 19 month old is HUGE. By 19 months they’re definitely little toddlers and not babies. Maybe expose him to babies throughout your pregnancy but given how much he’s bound to change I wouldn’t worry too much!

alli392

@chaos-and-coffee my daughter was so mad when I held a friends baby over the summer (she would have been about 14 months) and was super upset about it! A coworker stopped by with her newborn this week and DD loved when I was holding the baby and kept trying to help feed her “mil-K” (really just making it harder for me to feed baby her milk 😂). Not the same as siblings but I was excited to see her reaction!

lizanet

EDD/Weeks + Days: 13w0d 

How old is/are your other kid(s)? 4 year old daughter

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? She is doing great so far. Minus the ear infection she has this week

Any questions/concerns? No questions 

How did/will you tell your LO(s) about the baby?  I had an appt with my M&F doc and we had her come with, spent the whole day together and when they did the sono I told her to look at the TV. Both dad and I said that's your baby brother or sister. Your going to be a big sister! Cutest thing ever she was in disbelief and then got all proud saying shes a big sister and shes having a baby. (I keep correcting her but its no use lol)

hayhay2501

Does anyone have any good books they recommend to help a toddler understand a baby sibling is coming? Sorry if this has already been asked!

runwmusic

@hayhay2501 ds is throwing tantrums and he just turned a year old last week. It's going to be an interesting few years over here! 

alli392

Resurrecting this because I need some mama advice. DD is 19 months old and seems to have hit some stubborn sleep regression/trying to cut a nap. But she’s refusing afternoon nap and still taking morning nap then waking up at 5 am 😴 she’s going from 10 am to 7pm without a nap but will just spontaneously fall asleep in the morning if she skips it. So. Many. Tantrums. So little sleep and patience from this tired mama who needs that afternoon nap time for her own nap to grow this little June baby. 

Any advice on nap transitions or toddler sleep regressions? She’s in a crib and has been a good sleeper most of her life. 

pourmeanothermocktail

@alli392 15 month old here on 1 nap. wake at 6:30, nap roughly from 12:30-3. Bed at 7. 

Depending on your weather and schedule, I would try pushing nap back by 15 min per day. Once nap is at 11:30, do lunch before it. Hopefully the 15 min push every day, or every other day helps her stay awake.

Or, you could try it in one swoop, push it all the way back to 11:30-12 all at once at keep her up with messy fun games or being out and about outside or something fun, and use a fun lunch of her favorite snacks or whatnot to help keep awake. 

Just ideas. Good luck!