Randoms Dec 2-8

m6agua

  

drkoyya

Anyone else just have random moments of realization and start to freak out about birth and what comes after that? Or is this just a FTM freak out? 

I was looking at the birth announcements at my doctors office. How are our bodies capable of pushing out a foot and a half long baby?! 

Linsbins

@drkoyya I’m a freak out queen. They really help you through birth. I was panicking about the epidural and that sweet nurse held me down, took my glasses away, told them to drug me up first, then I was flying high for that large needle. The rest was a literal breeze. Getting the tape torn off my body was the worst though. So much tape to hold the tubes and stuff in place.

I teach kindergarten and I’m sad I don’t fit in my regular Christmas wardrobe this year. I have a ton of sweaters and leggings that juuuuust don’t fit. Wahhhh.

ruby696

Agree @Linsbins, the tape is the worst. For me, given what contractions felt like, getting the epidural was NBD. I think one of the most helpful things I learned in my childbirth class was that you will have an easier time if you are in control mentally. Trust yourself @drkoyya, you can do it. 

Eta: words

cmhme

@drkoyya So i am a FTM as well and I am reading "expecting better" right now which is great because i love the facts and figures but OMG last night i had to put it down. The "facts" were making my stomach turn. 10 cm is not enough! The Dr will push down to try to release the placenta if it hasnt yet!! Etc. Etc. Etc. I "get" that women have been doing this forever but :-P

rox7777

For those of you that hate medical tape, either ask if your hospital has these or order them. DS1 spends a lot of time in the hospital and this is hands down the best and easiest way to remove tape:

Uni Solve Adhesive Remover Wipes, 50 Each https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00M3IKRFU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_VeN5DbAMMRD4F

As for childbirth, when I told my mom I was having a vaginal birth with my oldest she gave me tons of horror stories because she had only had CS. I decided to watch a few videos and talk to some friends that had vaginal deliveries. Let me tell you, I had back labor and delivered DS1 sunny side up and I am still choosing a VBAC over a repeat CS. Your body can handle it and if you can’t you’re surrounded by medical professionals that can help you figure out the best method. Both choices have their drawbacks and their benefits, research both and be comfortable with both. You never know what might happen during delivery so don’t stress it, just research and learn about what might work and not work for you.

rox7777

@cmhme If you haven’t held a newborn recently or ever, go find you one. They’re tiny. You’ll be more freaked about about how little and fragile they are. I promise that even the big headed ones are still tiny. As someone that watched my delivery, I can tell you that 10cm is far bigger than you think. 

Honestly the stomach massages post birth were my least favorite part. The rest isn’t all that memorable. Once again, coming from someone that also had to get stitches post delivery. You really will be so delirious and hormonal, the rest will become obsolete. 

soprano19

@drkoyya @cmhme I honestly believe the mental and emotional build up to labor and delivery is way worse than actually going through it. Until you actually experience it yourself, all you have are other people's stories. By the end of pregnancy, most women are usually ready for the baby to GTFO, and I think that helps us mentally prepare for labor as well. Also, I was freaked out about the needle for the epidural before I was actually in labor, but when it got to the point where I needed it, I was nothing but thankful.

shamrocandroll

Hi ladies!  Sorry I've been MIA the last week or so!  Work and life have been busy (mostly in good ways), but I've been trying to lurk and lovetit, at least!

shamrocandroll

***ETA: TW for a semi-traumatic birth experience.

My take on freaking out about delivery:  It's not the foot and a half part that you have to worry about.  It's the size of the head, haha.  My delivery was pretty traumatic because DS had a 99% head and was sunny side up and diagonal.  I pushed for 4 hours and ended up needing vacuum assistance to get him out, or else I likely would have needed a CS.  I had high-3rd degree tearing, and it took them I'd say 45 minutes to stitch me up afterwards, and I lost just under what would be considered a critical amount of blood.  I still have some PTSD from it, and thought I'd be one and done for a long time as a result.  I'm also seeing a therapist to talk through some of my trauma.  So, no, it's not just FTMs that freak out about it.  I'm still pretty freaked out, but ultimately I know I'll get through it.  You will too!

*typos

ruby696

@shamrocandroll Your story is exactly why I get frustrated when people say a vaginal birth is so much better than a c-section. I've had both, so I feel like I get to have opinions. Neither is better, they are just different. Vaginal birth can be very traumatic for some people and the recovery is not always easier than a c-section. I feel like people minimize how difficult a vaginal birth can be and that's really not fair to those who have had difficult experiences/recoveries. And it also creates unrealistic expectations. 

m6agua

Maybe it is time for a birth story thread? Off to go make one...

heyybritt

I wasn't freaked out about delivery until I started reading this thread 😳

babyfoxden10

FTM here too, and definitely started thinking about the birth after meeting my friends baby - she is huge - and I mean that in the nicest way possible. I’m thinking omg I’m not a big person how does this all work out, but then I tell myself I’m not the first person to give birth ever and hopefully I will continue with the small baby trend in my own family. 

Being the incredibly nervous person I am I decided to skip the birthing classes because I know I’ll just hang onto all the negative info and it will stress me out more. 

Linsbins

@ruby696 that’s the ultimate truth. 

@babyfoxden10 the birth class was the most helpful to get dh on the right track. They had us make a list of what was most important to us. You’re right not to focus on the bad because many women do have good (enough) experiences.

bananapanda

@babyfoxden10 this sounds horrible but when I was super nervous with DD I'd just think of all the really really dumb people I knew who had kids and then remind myself that if they can get through labor & delivery then so can I 

ruby696

I can't believe the August BMB is up - time is flying by!

ruby696

Just saw Trader Joe's has a new recall related to Listeria:

California Rolls, Classic California Rolls with Brown Rice & Avocado, Spicy California Rolls, Tempura Shrimp Crunch Rolls, Tofu Spring Rolls, Shrimp Spring Rolls, Smoked Salmon Philly Roll, Smoked Salmon Poke Bowl, Banh Mi Inspired Noodle Bowl, and the Queso Fundido Spicy Cheese Dip.

rox7777

@ruby696 The bump reminded me that I started month five this week. I promptly had a meltdown and tore apart half my house in order to reorganize stupid stuff. I’m not readyyyyy.

heyybritt

@ruby696 @rox7777 this makes me feel like I should actually do something to get ready for this baby and not just shop for hypothetical items anymore.....where has the time gone???

ruby696

@heyybritt MH has not even started to clean out his office, which will be the nursery. It's giving me such anxiety. Ugh.

rox7777

@heyybritt I started nesting right around 20 weeks with both of my boys. I’m an over preparer and I like things done early. This is actually the longest I’ve gone in a pregnancy without doing anything at all. 

Right now I’m decluttering and cleaning closets to make myself feel better. But the first of the baby orders should start showing up this week. 

heyybritt

@ruby696 so annoying!! I don't think MH has a good grip yet on how we're going to need to reorganize. My goal when I get back home Friday is to have us go through all our junk and take a bunch of stuff to donate so I can feel like we started something.

@rox7777 I think part of me is waiting for the anatomy scan to really get started. I haven't let myself buy anything yet but I did start a box of all the samples I've gotten so far from registry freebies so at least the baby has a corner now.

bananapanda

I've been feeling like my belly is huge lately but not like a cute round bump.  I'm overweight but with DD I remember at 17 weeks having a cute bump finally so today was 17 weeks and I took my weekly progress picture and compared to DD1 and I just look fat this time instead of pregnant.  I started this pregnancy about 20lb heavier than DD1 so to be expected, but I'm still bummed.  I was thinking with time I'd round out more but now I'm just convinced I'll look fat forever and not pregnant.  And all this talk about being fat is making me hungry 

ruby696

@bananapanda We had family photos done and I realized how large my thighs have gotten. WTH. I'm so jealous of women who just get a belly and everything else stays the same. *sigh*

lisush

@bananapanda ugh same. Baby pushing up has just consolidated all my belly fat (and maybe some organs?) to the area above my belly button. So that's what is huge and sticking out. Great, thanks. I think starting my pregnancy 20 lbs lighter would have been much more visually pleasing haha. 

rox7777

@ruby696 Saaaaame. My only stretch marks cover my outer hips, love handles and inner thighs. My lower body gets all my extra weight when I’m pregnant. 

ruby696

@rox7777 It's so unfair. My ass does not need to get bigger, even if it's temporary.

drkoyya

@bananapanda I’m with you on just feeling fat. I feel like it looks like a bump when I’m topless, but when I put on clothes I just look fat. Actually, on Sunday my Guardian mentioned that she can tell that I have a stomach now then proceeded to say “But you don’t look pregnant. Your stomach still fits your frame.” So fat... I just look fat 😐

bender29

I think you need to give yourself some grace on feeling/thinking you look fat. I was feeling that real hard, and then my mom asked me if I was eating enough (I’m not - thank you food aversions) because while I’m definitely gaining a bump, she thinks I look like I’ve lost weight. I kept seeing myself as getting huge everywhere, but I think we are just genetically made to think that way. Plus, so what if we are, we earn every bit of it!

bender29

Also, bringing the conversation back to the beginning of this thread... 

Any other FTMs totally burying their head in the sand and not thinking about labor and delivery? We had one prenatal class, and it was mostly a basically a health class version of what to expect in the first trimester. We have nothing else as far as classes go, and I honestly don’t know what to expect other than what I’ve heard from friends and health classes or TVs and I’m kind of ok going in blindly 🤣

bananapanda

@bender29 on your question about going into labor blindly I think no matter how much you prepare there are still so many unknowns and every birth story will be different.  On one hand it is nice to know your options if you specifically want to do a certain thing then you can certainly push for that, and it's always good to be educated on options in case a choice comes up, but I also think the mindset of just going in and letting the nurses and doctor do what they do that's best for you and baby isn't the worst either.  That was pretty much what I did with DD.   

laurasauruss

@bananapanda I laughed out loud at your comment about the dumb people because I thought the exact same thing. 'If SHE could go through labor so can I' 

drkoyya

@bender29 I was completely ignoring the eventuality that I’ll have to give birth until this week. The baby is a size of an artichoke and when I went grocery shopping I definitely grabbed an artichoke to compare it to my body and they’re pretty decent sized  (no shame snapping photos in the produce aisle). Then I went to the Dr and was really looking at the birth announcements, that’s when it hit me. Unfortunately, my personality won’t let me go in blindly. I actually wish I could, but there’s still time to try and mentally prepare. 

Austenista

I'm such a go in blindly person. The more I research something, the more stressed I get about that thing. I refuse to read parenting books or pregnancy books, anything like that. Take a class? No thanks. I like to parent organically, and unfortunately no matter how much you prepare, your body takes over and dictates how everything is going to go at birth time. So much of that is really out of your control. If you have it in you to surrender, I know from experience that it's good for your mental health to do so. 

rox7777

@bender29 Even if you don’t want the nitty gritty details I’d encourage looking into pain management, post delivery preferences and side effects. I started looking into other options for pain for this round and learned that my state is one of the few that doesn’t currently offer gas for pain management so it’s back to the drawing board. Do you want to circumcise if you have a boy or do you want to wait a while? Do you want skin to skin immediately or do you want them to hand the baby over to dad first? Do you want to attempt to breastfeed or go straight to formula? Do you want someone to cut the cord or allow the doctor to do it? There’s so many little things you’ll start thinking about after and they will ask you all of these things.

You’ll be exhausted and likely delirious and you don’t want to make split second decisions that you later question or regret. 

Austenista

@ruby696 this is what makes me the annoying rule follower of the group apparently. The unknown of things like this. My bff's mom lost her firstborn to listeria she ingested from eating queso. So scary. 

ruby696

@Austenista You're not annoying for following the rules, but the rules have changed a lot. Regardless, you should do what makes you comfortable. I still can't  do caffeine. People think I'm crazy. 🤷‍♀️

rox7777

@Austenista @ruby696 The first time around I was such a strict rule follower. The second time I was a little more relaxed and drank coffee, but still avoided everything else. This time I do have my morning coffee, but I have skipped a lot of other stuff because the constant recalls have me on edge. I had sushi once and felt so guilty afterwards so I’m back to just my coffee. 

I think with DS2 the big recall was hummus, but no so much with all this other crazy stuff be recalled. 

Austenista

@ruby696 yeah, I'm the one who has to live with myself if something goes wrong. I've given up caffeine each time, as much as I love it, it just gives me peace of mind. I don't want to have any ammunition to direct blame at myself and punish myself. Gotta say, as a sandwich lover, those sandwiches I've had after delivery were some of the best I've ever had in my life. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. 

bananapanda

@Austenista I'm also a fairly strict rule follower.  I do have some caffeine (under the 200mg though) and I did have one toasted sub this pregnancy which I don't think I'll do again.  But are we not supposed to eat queso?? QUESO IS MY LIFELINE! My OB with DD1 told me it was fine to have when I asked but now you've got me nervous.  Also agree with the post delivery meal comment.  DD was born at 12:03 AM and the cafeteria was closed so the nurses brought me a turkey sandwich and pepsi and it was by far the best meal I've ever had lol. And then for like 2 weeks straight after delivery I ate Jimmy Johns haha