FTM December Check-in

kagesstarshroom

How far along are you? 

What appointments do you have this month? / Let us know how they go/went!

Symptoms? Cravings/Aversions?

Rants/Raves?

Questions?

GTKY: What gifts are you hoping for (if you*do* gifts in your fam/with friends at all) this holiday season--baby-related &/or not?

wednesdayschild

How far along are you? 26 weeks today

What appointments do you have this month? / Let us know how they go/went! Dec 13 for glucose test and general check-up. Which is kind of a bummer, since the appt is in the afternoon and we have our work holiday breakfast in the morning. So no French toast or mini cheesecakes or fresh squeezed juice ☹️

Symptoms? Cravings/Aversions? Actually feeling pretty good. Get stiff or uncomfortable a couple times a week, but still walking ~3-5 miles a day, biking, and doing my usual thing. Hot chocolate is definitely a craving. 

Rants/Raves? See above re: no cheesecake before glucose test ☹️☹️ Otherwise, rave for two sets of generous friends who are done having kids that are giving us their bassinet, crib, high chair, travel system, and hiking carrier.

Questions? Does it feel like pregnancy is speeding  or dragging for you? Personally, it felt super slow in the first trimester, and I can’t believe how fast it’s gone since September. 

GTKY: What gifts are you hoping for (if you*do* gifts in your fam/with friends at all) this holiday season--baby-related &/or not? A robe! Figure there will be a lot of breastfeeding and lounging and really want a comfortable, fancy robe for all of it. 

kagesstarshroom

@pdx2020 I also asked for a robe! (My dad makes me make a list & I had so much trouble thinking of things to go on it, though now of course I have a bunch of ideas.  Also, to address your question, I do feel like November FLEW by wow, and August and Sept. were unbearable. But I *also* feel like I will be pregnant forever, you know?

How far along are you? 24w1d today!

What appointments do you have this month? / Let us know how they go/went! I have one on Wed.! 

Symptoms? Cravings/Aversions? I have been taking my heartburn meds & eating heartburn friendly, so that hasn't bugged me so much, but I recently have discovered the new wonderful symptom of getting super full after not eating so much. Yay. I crave sweets like nonstop, and sometimes fruit. 

Rants/Raves? My printer isn't working and it's DRIVING ME CRAZY. Also, the Eagles lost today, so that wasn't fun. DH cooked a pig that my friend Gina raised & slaughtered, so after watching the game I went to the pig roast. It's been super gorgeous out, but it is going to get chillier this week.

Questions? I hope we can keep this thread up for longer than just to answer the prompts and never come back to it this month! I don't even think we had one last month? My question is: why do we think it dies out after people answer the prompts? I think the STM one is more successful bc they talk about their kids? I don't read it, though, usually, so I could be wrong!

GTKY: What gifts are you hoping for (if you*do* gifts in your fam/with friends at all) this holiday season--baby-related &/or not? I also want this cute Pottery Barn Teen Ravenclaw lapdesk lol. And I hope my Dad gets us some stuff off our registry, too. I realllllly want Hamilton tickets, though those are like probably not coming into my life anytime soon, cryface emoji. I told DH I want a pizzelle maker and vanilla extract and other extracts--vanilla extract is so expensive lol I never buy it because I am like TWELVE DOLLARS! haha. 

dunder_mifflin

@pdx2020 @kagesstarshroom i also asked for a robe! And a set of maternity PJs as mine are getting real tight. ASOS has cute ones with button-down tops. I also asked for some sherpa Costco slippers for the hospital. 

Questions? I hope we can keep this thread up for longer than just to answer the prompts and never come back to it this month! I don't even think we had one last month? My question is: why do we think it dies out after people answer the prompts? I think the STM one is more successful bc they talk about their kids? I don't read it, though, usually, so I could be wrong!

@k@kagesstarshroom I agree! We didn’t have one last month I don’t think, but we’re getting closer so I’m sure we will all have more questions to ask/things to talk about here. Hopefully it doesn’t die down 

dunder_mifflin

How far along are you? 

23 weeks! March 28, 2020

What appointments do you have this month? / Let us know how they go/went!
Glucose test at my next midwife appointment on the 18th. I’m excited to get it over with.

Symptoms? Cravings/Aversions?
nothing really, just craving healthy, Hugh protein options and a little chips 😂

Rants/Raves?

Raves - DH has been so awesome lately (really this whole pregnancy) and I am just feeling very grateful. I’m finishing up my registry *finally* and so excited for to have it done and out of my life for now. I picked up a freshly picked diaper bag for 30% off for Black Friday and I’m so happy! I’ve been eying it but the $228 CAD price felt hefty. Scored for $160 CAD so not bad. Feeling good about all of the above I’m also just feeling rested after the weekend and ready to tackle the busy week, which is nice.

Rants - well I finally chose between the uppababy vista and Cruz after much deliberation and what felt like NO help from any retailer that specializes in baby stuff - there was a salesperson at West Coast Kids who was super awesome and talked DH and I through both of them and really was just honest about the pros and cons. I settled on the cruz. My rant is more about how I feel retail spaces are letting me down - I can purchase most things online ultimately and I go to retail spaces to learn and have questions answered by a knowledgeable salesperson. So when I feel I a) have done more research about the items than the salesperson or b) the experience is not really that helpful and I can find out more watching reviews online - I get a little frustrated. Buy Buy Baby was awful. I made an appointment with a registry consultant and they didn’t walk me through the experience. Also the stroller salesperson was just terrible! Anyway, that’s my rant for today (lol). 

Questions? 

Should I be doing anything for my pelvic floor? Also is anyone else dying a little bit because we can’t consume as much coffee? I’ll admit on three occasions I would have an extra small one in the evening and I actually felt like I had more energy and was not passing out on the couch by 8pm. 

GTKY: What gifts are you hoping for (if you*do* gifts in your fam/with friends at all) this holiday season--baby-related &/or not?

A robe! Slippers, nursing/postpartum wear, maternity PJs, etc! I figure I may as well get everything I need for my hospital bag for Christmas. 

I also want Hamilton tickets and everything from PB kids! Lol but we are saving for mat leave and just trying to be good with finances so it’s a no-go 😭

wednesdayschild

@dunder_mifflin, wellllllll PB kids is doing a Cyber Monday sale today 😂😂 Although I’m in the same boat regarding saving, though for a *much* shorter time than 🇨🇦 leave. And I’m sorry you’re feeling draggy without coffee. I almost never drink it even when I’m not pregnant, but definitely miss some of my herbal teas. Re: hospital bags, have you checked out the fridababy mom stuff at all? 

@kagesstarshroom, I feel ya on the getting full too quickly, even when I think I’m starving. And how expensive vanilla is! And my NFL team lost too, although no one (except my dad and DH) ever expects the Lions to win 😂

As for why the thread dies...I think there are more S/TTMs on this board. At least out of active participants. So it looks like it’s more popping, even if it’s only one or two people going back and forth. But hey - we can do our best!

kagesstarshroom

@dunder_mifflin You mean like kegels? I did them more in early pregnancy/TTGP, but I do some when I remember like once a week, which I am sure is useless. I will have to make an effort to step them up 3rd tri! Also, I do on some days have a cup of tea/two. We can have up to 200mg caffeine, and I've never been a coffee drinker, so a cup or so of tea won't go over that limit--neither will a cup of coffee! Maybe even two! Depends on the coffee... also, that's a valid rant re: the salespeople not being helpful, but I am glad your frustration was more about the experience than the individual people. Likely they get paid so little and don't get any paid training, while their bosses rake in tons of money. Examples like that aren't just digital winning over brick and mortar, but late capitalism at its worst.

ETA:

@pdx2020 That makes sense! Sorry re: the Lions. I know a couple Lions fans, one of whom I dislike and one of whom I like, so I feel overall neutral about them. I also miss herbal teas! It's wild how many of them I can't have--the barley tea we have is like the only one. All chamomile teas it seems are like "chamomile + 40 ingredients PG ladies cannot have." geeeez.

Fun game: guess the three words in the above paragraph I spelled wrong lol and had to use spellcheck to correct. Autocorrect is telling me "kegels" is still wrong, soooo not that one haha.

dunder_mifflin

@pdx2020 oh god, I almost feel a sense of guilt that I get 🇨🇦 mat leave. And I’m extra lucky because my employer tops me off for the first 6 months, so I’m able to take an 18 month mat leave - though last 12 months the max income we get from our National Employment Insurance is $330/week. Going to have to dip into savings slightly but I think I really want that time with LO. Keep in mind that cost of living here is higher and Toronto has become a New York/San Fran in terms of housing affordability crisis. Average cost of a home is over a million, and it’s a tiny detached house that needs a gut-job Reno. That being said we all pay into the benefits every pay period so it’s nice to see me actually use it. We can take the 18 months instead of these standard 12 but it spreads the max benefits from $550 weekly to $330 weekly. So that’s the caveat. But daycare in Toronto is basically an entire income - it’s $1500-$2000/month when they are infants and the waitlist is very lengthy. Leads a lot of people to opt for 18 months because it ends up being cheaper to do that vs. pay for daycare. 

A lot of politicians are advocating for universal and standardized daycare that is subsidized. They have it in Quebec ($7/day for lowest income, up to $20/day for higher income) and it actually has been researched and shown it’s paying for itself economically with an increase in the workforce and more disposable income going back to Quebec’s economy. Also more income means more tax revenue. And it’s been shown to be a form of primary healthcare in the sense that it allows for standardized interventions in various situations, which brings down healthcare costs later in life. If you’re interested, read up on the ACES study. Super interesting (well maybe to me since I’m a social worker lol). 

But Canada is also loving further away from our collective roots, sadly moving more toward Neo-liberalist ideals. 

dunder_mifflin

@kagesstarshroom totally, they don’t get paid enough at all - I feel it’s more a management issue as opposed to the individuals so I definitely was not upset with them, I can relate as I worked several years in retail. I did in high end retail and it’s very interesting how at the same pay level I needed to be more knowledgeable than let’s say working at a less upscale retail location. But management did provide the training to me and I did get paid for it, which was the key differentiator. I’m sure they train at buy buy baby though. That salesperson was obviously having a horrible day! Lol. 

wednesdayschild

Re: pelvic floor exercises, I went to a class recently where they were very adamant that kegels were NOT the only prenatal exercise pregnant women should be doing. In fact, the PT was worried all the emphasis on kegels was causing women to overdevelop the gripping/contracting muscles and it makes labor more difficult because people couldn't relax and release (you know...to get baby out) as effectively. They recommended doing some kegels, but also focusing on: deep belly breathing, pelvic tilts (like they do in barre), side leg lifts to strengthen glutes, side lunges, cat/cow stretches, and deep squats. @kagesstarshroom, you probably did a lot of these in your prenatal yoga class! We definitely do them in mine.

Also, @dunder_mifflin, I have soooo many thoughts on paid parental leave and subsidized daycare, particularly re: how it ultimately benefits and reduces societal costs. Ugh. My company has pretty crappy paid leave (only covered by STD), but we can use our very generous PTO to cover most of the rest of it, and bring the baby into work until they're walking. My husband actually gets more paid leave then I do -- 6.5 weeks! Sadly, daycare in PDX is in the $1400-1600 range and have similarly long waitlists. But we're covered until mid-September at least, so I feel very lucky compared to my mom, who was back at work in 42 days!   

dunder_mifflin

@pdx2020 so cute you can bring your baby in to work! Lol my colleagues have similarly suggested such a thing - haha! Imagine doing initial hospital Psychosocial assessments with a baby in a carrier? Lol.
sucks your mom only got 42 days as well, I can’t even imagine! I can talk about parental leave and subsidized daycare all day! 

I also had the same thoughts on kegels so that’s fairly validating lol. 

vrstrawn

Jumping in re: kegels and mat leave!

I am actually quitting my job at the end of January. I told my boss right before Thanksgiving. Daycare would cost more than I make, and has over a year wait list. Obviously not worth it! And I figured since I'm quitting anyways, I might as well give myself a month(ish) to prepare for baby! 

I've been doing Kegels when I remember, but I have been doing more planks, squats, and lunges. Really hoping all this exercise pays off, as I am planning on an unmedicated/intervention-free birth!

dunder_mifflin

@vrstrawn man I wish I could quit after leave, lol! Not because I hate my job, I love my job and I love going to work but I feel of love being a SAHP too. My ideal would be to go back part-time but once you get full time In public sector work it’s hard to go part time again. Good for you though! 

I used to work out every day before pregnancy (for multiple years with minor ebbs and flows of starting and stopping)  but I got pregnant right as we took possession of our new house, new job, and renovations and I was honestly too exhausted between all of that. It completely threw off my routine and I can’t get back to it. I’m really missing my workouts and that time but I’m really struggling to while up at 6am I can’t imagine getting up at 5 again to workout. I think I just need to start. Anyone else struggling with this?

wednesdayschild

@dunder_mifflin, yeah, it's *definitely* easier in office jobs to bring baby in. We have a whole room set up for them with a pack n' play, bouncer, toys, etc. And I think they'll be two babes in the office when I'm done with leave  

Also, 100% on the workout struggle. Before this, I was going to hot yoga and doing HIIT classes x3 times a week, biking about an hour a day to and from work and on errands, and walking a couple miles on off days. Now, I get out of breath walking up a single flight of stairs. Ugh. Forcing myself to keep walking and doing prenatal yoga, but feeling like I’ll never have energy or stamina again.   

And @vrstrawn, I hope you enjoy the time off before baby and enjoy all the time with your LO! I’ve never wanted to be a SAHP — work sounds like a necessary and lovely escape for me. But I respect the decision! 

vrstrawn

@pdx2020 I've worked since I was 16 so this is going to be a HUGE change for me, but it's right for my family! my husband is in the military and his schedule is so unpredictable, along with constant detachments/deployments/etc. I'm hoping I'm not bored, though! I might search for a work from home job later on.

wednesdayschild

@vrstrawn, besides exercise, what are you doing to prep for unmedicated labor? I’m going a similar route (have dealt really poorly with anesthesia in the past), and would love to hear about anything you’re doing! 

vrstrawn

I am working with a doula (although she won't really be involved until some meetings in January and the actual labor!) and I'm practicing the hypnobirthing technique. I practice the breathing techniques daily and the relaxation a couple of nights a week. I will be drinking raspberry tea and doing perineal massage (I really don't want to but I also really don't want to tear lol) around 30ish weeks, and eating 6 dates per day starting at 36 weeks. My friend (who successfully had an unmediated labor!) also said to hold an ice cube in your hand for as long as you can while you practice your preferred technique. I also use essential oils- so I'm planning on incorporating those while in labor. 

I know this sounds crazy and like I am so crunchy but I'm really not. I am allergic to almost every antibiotic and haven't had good experiences with anesthesia/surgery so I am really focused on avoiding medicine and a c-section! But I'm open to whatever happens or is medically necessary. 

wednesdayschild

@vrstrawn, thanks for sharing all that! I’m not very crunchy either, and I’ve seen all those recommendations from multiple sources. Do you have a hypnobirthing CD, or do you practice deep breathing? Also, clary sage, or did you have some different oils in mind? 

Sounds like we have a very similar philosophy and prep plan 😊 Here’s hoping it works out! 

vrstrawn

@pdx2020 I got the "Hypnobirthing: The Mongan Method" book from my doula, which has the cd with it to practice relaxation! The book explains the different breathing techniques, etc. The book is really a companion to an in-person class, but I don't want to pay for that. I'm confident that my doula and practice will prepare me as much as a class would have. For oils- I plan to use clary sage if I need to kick start labor or if it slows and I need to get it going again. Peppermint (sniffing only, not applying because it can mess with milk supply) for nausea (which I know I will be throwing up/nauseous as some point), lavender to diffuse for relaxation. I plan on making a pain roller for my lower back, although I'm not sure what oils I will use yet. And gentle baby on my chest for bonding after! 

dunder_mifflin

@vrstrawn sounds really interesting! I’ve been wanting to look up mindfulness and birth so that was a good reminder for me!

im also wondering about eating dates if anyone has an answer. I used to have about 3-5 dates/day prior to getting pregnant and I find them a great snack to have at 4pm when I’m feeling peckish so I don’t stuff my face before dinner. But I heard they can move along labour. Any insights to this? I’m going to check in with my midwife as well but I certainly don’t want to endure anything this early, lol

Malidocious

100% asking for a robe now after reading this thread!  What a great idea!  I have an old, super comfy robe I got years ago, but it is fleece and it makes me so hot when I wear it so I need something that's comfy and soft but also more breathable.  And one that I can wash easier, lol.

@pdx2020 Save a bunch of leftovers from your holiday breakfast party and eat them after your glucose test!!!  

@kagesstarshroom I feel the same way -- the last few months have been FLYING by, but I also feel like I'm going to be pregnant for the rest of my life, lol!  And I'm not sure why our FTM posts fizzle out except I think we all just answer the prompts and then go away because none of us are experienced in answering many questions (like the second and third time mommas are helpful with).  But I hope this one stays going!

@dunder_mifflin I am so jealous that you're finishing up your registry!  I keep getting overwhelmed with all the options for things and then I neglect it... that's probably not good, though.  I gotta finish!  Oh and I completely miss caffeine.  I still will drink a chai tea latte and maybe a Diet Coke in the evenings, but I used to drink black coffee and energy shots ALL THE TIME, so I feel like my energy level has never been worse, lol.  

@vrstrawn I'm jealous you can afford to quit your job and be a stay at home momma!  I am the bread winner for my family, so we would have to sell the house if I lost or quit my job... but I so wish I could stay with my LO and take care of her all day, or at least most of the time.  I always said I wanted to do something part-time when I was a mom, but that's not looking to be an option here at my job, unfortunately.  

RE: maternity leave: I don't get ANY maternity leave and that sucks.  I am working overtime as much as possible right now, to stock up on comp time.  I've got almost 5 weeks of comp time earned, which should cover me through the 30 day waiting period before FMLA kicks in.  I only get half of my regular paycheck during FMLA, though, and it's only 12 weeks.  My boss is wanting me back to work after 6 weeks and I could cry at the idea of it.  Daycare prices are out of control here.

RE: pelvic floor exercises: I have not remembered to do kegels very often.  Not enough to be effective, I'm sure.  Crap!  I guess I need to start looking up prenatal yoga moves and do those as much as I can now and through the 3rd trimester. @vrstrawn I have heard mixed things about perineal massages during my prenatal classes.  One instructor said that they were so great in aiding against tearing, but another instructor said that the more massaging could actually strengthen the perineum and thus make it more susceptible to tearing and now I'm like WHAT?!  So many mixed messages during pregnancy!

RE: exercise: I'm in the same boat as @dunder_mifflin -- I used to work out religiously before I became pregnant.  I'd get up early, run for 5-7 miles, do Pilates, shower and go to work, but then come home and do strength training at lunch.  It was so great!  But then right at the beginning of this year, I split with my ex-husband and had to fix up my house, started my new job, and just fell out of the routine and haven't been able to get back into it.  I started doing okay in September and getting back on the treadmill every morning but then I got into a car accident that totaled my car and I became so scared of hurting the baby with ANY sort of exercise (which I know is silly thinking).  The lack of exercise has really, really taken an emotional toll on me, though.  I feel so extra sluggish and blah because of it, but it's so hard to get up early now.  I'm in a funk!

Malidocious

Eek, sorry for the novel!  I just have been playing catch up lately since I wasn't able to get on the boards for a few week... I've missed everyone!

Malidocious

@dunder_mifflin I googled eating dates during pregnancy and it appears to be safe!

https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/dates-during-pregnancy#easier-labor

Malidocious

Anybody else super anxious about post-partum?  I get that giving birth is going to be difficult/painful... but the aftermath of birth is terrifying to me.  Healing and whatnot.

mrsc918

@Malidocious I’m anxious about post-partum, but mostly the lack of sleep and possibility of postpartum depression/anxiety. I’m worried about the healing process too (regardless of if it ends up being vagina vs c-section) but I’m trying not to think about that part too much otherwise I’m going to start freaking out lol

wednesdayschild

@Malidocious @mrsc918 definitely anxious about the sleep deprivation. Not excited about the leaking, sweating, engorging, stinging, etc, but sleep deprivation is literally a form of torture 😱 Looking forward to...month 3 onward 😬 And I definitely get being more worried about mental state than physical state. 

dunder_mifflin

@Malidocious I feel you with the exercise! And the dates thing, thank you so much! I know it’s fine to eat them but I also read people eat 6 daily to help induce labour. And I’m like - I’ve been eating 6 daily from now 😂 I’ll ask my midwife at my next appointment and stick to dates once a week for now. I’ll report back.

Definitely nervous about postpartum and about breastfeeding! My breasts are already massive, what’s going to happen to them now? Lol! And the pain, c-section, having a tiny human, etc. I’m not as nervous to be a mom, just for the newborn stage while I recover.

also the idea of breastfeeding freaks me out a lot TBH! 

mrsc918

@dunder_mifflin omg yes!!!! Breastfeeding!! I’m so terrified of that too!! The pain, the latch issues, anxiety of whether or not baby is getting enough, unknown of if baby will take a bottle so DH can feed and I can have a break/sleep, complications like thrush and mastitis...not to mention what my boobs will look like after (sorry if that’s vein but self esteem is important to mental health and my marriage). Honestly, I’ve always been like nope I’m not even going to do it bc I know it’s going to wreck me mentally and physically but I’m probably going to at least try. 

creativesoul63

I am so nervous about all the pain involved with child birth and post partum recovery. Apparently it hurts to go to the bathroom for quite awhile?! 😬

Not as nervous about sleep deprivation because I’m very much looking forward to maternity leave and being able to sleep whenever I can. Hope to get into a routine that works for both me and DH before I go back to work.

@dunder_mifflin breastfeeding also freaks me out. I want to do it, but it just sounds really uncomfortable and weird. I’d almost rather pump and feed from a bottle. I hope hormones and my milk coming in once I give birth will change how I feel. We’ll see. 😕

vrstrawn

reporting back re: dr appt. I had my first appt with my new doctor today (in case you missed it...the birthing center on the military base where I have been going is closing and they told me to find a new doctor *eyeroll.*) I loved my new doctor! She was very nice and took time to sit and talk with me. We also toured the actual birthing center/rooms (because my husband won't be able to attend anything from now until February due to his schedule) so that was nice! Measuring along perfectly and the hearbeat was strong. Next appointment is December 27...I can't believe we are already at the point of going every two weeks! 

kagesstarshroom

@Malidocious Yes. For sure re: post-partum. But I think that awareness of the issue is more widespread these days. And I've SEEN other people go through it, and hope that I will be able to recognize it in myself if it happens before it gets too bad? Have you talked to YH about it at all? I think I want to talk to mine about it and like what we can do if he recognizes it in me? Esp. because I have to work through all of next semester, giving birth or not. I wonder if there are any good resources for dudes and PPD, like a podcast or something?

@vrstrawn So glad you like your new doc! And I'm glad you got that early tour! I am going "home" for the holidays, and when I get back, I'll be going every other week and then so quickly every week--it's so wild that those appointments are so close. March feels so far and so close, you know?

vrstrawn

Do anyone else's ribs hurt?! I feel like I have been beaten!! 

dunder_mifflin

@vrstrawn oh man, mine did at like 17 weeks! But I was early with it since I’m short with a short torso. I felt like I was punched in the ribs and it sucked! It was my body making room for baby, apparently  

heyahelmett

@vrstrawn Mine have been aching on and off for a couple of weeks. I've noticed mine is worse when sitting in positions I used to find comfortable -- my body just sort of crumples in on itself. Definitely feels like my ribs are bruised if I slouch too long!

kagesstarshroom

No rib aches here! But I just finished the book LIKE A MOTHER last night, and while I appreciated it for its candidness, reading some parts of it as a FTM were definitely kind of scary? I keep recommending the book because I think it's really valuable, but now I feel like I should warn people too. But like--crazy things are going to happen to our bodies! Ahhh. And I do want to know about them and guess I can't put off that knowing for too much longer and it would be silly to put it off until it, like, happens. 

lemonlove86

How far along are you?: 28 weeks tomorrow!

What appointments do you have this month? / Let us know how they go/went!: Regular check up on Monday, 12/16. I start going every 2 weeks after then!

Symptoms? Cravings/Aversions?: My eating is finally going back to normal! I was on a pretty strict diet of candy and pop tarts for about 2 months- I literally couldn't stomach anything else besides sweets and junk food. I'm very proud to say I had salmon for dinner this week. 

Rants/Raves?: Work has just been crazy! I feel like I haven't been on TB in forever (it's probably been a week, haha). I'm starting to get much more tired and drained with a busy schedule. My schedule is flexible- I meet with teachers and classes when they schedule time with me, but it's just been a busy two weeks. Looking forward to winter break starting next Friday!

Questions?: Do any of you know if/when you get another ultrasound? I'm going to ask my doctor on Monday but I'm always curious to how different each practice is!

GTKY: What gifts are you hoping for (if you*do* gifts in your fam/with friends at all) this holiday season--baby-related &/or not?: Oh man I want everything!! We have received a TON of hand-me-down clothes so I didn't have to buy a ton for NB and 0-3, which I'm thrilled about. We aren't having a shower, so I'm hoping we get essentials like car seat and bassinet over the holidays, although I'm sure we'll end up buying them for ourselves. 

-----

@kagesstarshroom I’d love to keep this going!!! It’s good to connect with FTMs through all this. Honestly, I’m a little over all of the advice I’m getting from STM+ (no offense to anyone in this group- love you all, you've all been helpful ) I have a few friends who have had babies in the last few months, and they seem to be only telling me horror stories. I get that they need to vent and talk but maybe I’m not the best audience right now, lol.

@dunder_mifflin congrats on making the big uppababy decision! I feel like we’ve been in it together every step of the way . I also thought BBB was very unhelpful.

@pdx2020 @malidocious SAME! I have worked out maybe 5 times this entire pregnancy. I’ve done prenatal yoga slightly more than my 5x dance workouts, but I want to try to do more prenatal yoga now that 3rd tri has rolled around. My whole body is hurting!

@malidocious @mrsc918 @kagesstarshroom I noticed I was starting to feel more anxious the last week or so, so I started going back to therapy again. I think it will be really helpful to be talking to my therapist and DH PP, so they can help me notice if I’m slipping. Having two people to talk to also increases my chance of saying something.

mrsc918

@kagesstarshroom I think I would prefer not knowing and dealing with it when the time comes lol I’m a highly anxious person so I think knowing too much ends up hurting me in the end! 

wednesdayschild

@lemonlove86 @kagesstarshroom - I think I'm in a similar boat of appreciating the (helpful) advice from STM+ moms (and the stories in books like Like a Mother), but really don't want to hear horror stories. Yeah, there are going to be unpleasant bits, but it's kind of like pregnancy -- there's a huge range of experiences and just because your experience was X doesn't mean mine will be (or that I want to hear about your SIL's 48+ hours labor, any tearing, mastitis, your baby that didn't sleep for the first 18 months, etc. etc.) [Also, @kagesstarshroom, you should check out the birth story in And Now We Have Everything if you really want to be freaked out, but also oddly prepped.]

Also re: additional U/S -- I don't think my practice would normally offer another one after A/S and any A/S F/U, but I've got one scheduled for week 32 because of some kidney dilation they picked up on one of the U/S. Like, very, very little (at 4-5 mm vs. concerns starting at 10mm), but I guess I'm glad they're checking. 

mrsc918

@lemonlove86 I get an an ultrasound at every follow up appointment, but only my OB does that. She says the other OB’s at kaiser
just do doppler’s. I’m happy I get to see baby girl, but it’s usually a 10 second thing lol

lemonlove86

@mrsc918 thats awesome!! Before I was pregnant I guess I imagined that you'd see the baby all the time, but we only saw at 8 week and then again for the 20 week! Doppler at each appointment, yes, but they usually do it so fast I hear her HB for like 4 seconds and then they say "All good!" and put it away, lol.

kagesstarshroom

@lemonlove86 We are guaranteed 3 us's via the practice i go to-- **tw** loss bc of my prev. losses, I got one extra one, so I've had three so far, and i get one more-- a growth check. I think as it gets closer, there could be more if they are worried about the baby's position of something? I also imagined you'd see the baby more often than we actually get to before I was KU.