UO Thursday 11/21

ruby696

catem07

Oh I remember mine. If you are giving a gift to someone who is not a friend, give them cash or a gift card. This applies to teachers, mail person, cleaning person, etc. If you don't know them well enough to know what they like, cash is king. Or something edible. 

Relatedly, if you have to crowd source a gift idea and have nothing to go on (you can't share the person's hobbies or likes/dislikes) give them cash or a gift card. I'm not going to be able to help you with a gift idea for your kid's teacher if you know nothing about her. 

pirateduck

@catem07 every year at work we buy gifts for a handful of contractors that we routinely work with in a professional capacity.  We always struggle with what to get because in addition to wanting it to be something appreciated we want to be even/fair with the gifts for multiple people.  We almost always end up getting either gift certificates to restaurants or food gift baskets.  We don't want to be boring/repetitive year over year, but this really seems the best/safest route.

soprano19

@catem07 as a teacher, I 100% agree with this. Also as a parent of a toddler who has like 4-5 different daycare teachers and I always wait until the last minute to get gifts for them.

catem07

@soprano19 The best advice I ever heard for gift giving to teachers is, would this person be happy to receive 25 of these things? I mean, how many mugs can one person keep in her kitchen??

shamrocandroll

I'm not sure if this is actually unpopular, but given the number of times I've had to do this as an adult, I'm going to go with it anyway.

I HATE icebreaker activities.  Please don't make me give a mini biography about myself and then some random interesting fact or hobby.  I'm not that interesting and I don't have time for many hobbies.  And I can't just say I like drinking wine in my sweatpants while watching Netflix.   

heyybritt

@shamrocandroll +100 to this!! The director in my office likes to start several of our weekly meetings with an ice breaker and I absolutely hate it. 

pirateduck

@shamrocandroll additionally I hate the sorts of team building forced fun meetings/trainings these icebreakers are typically part of.

mamaj1220

@shamrocandroll I dread these activities, like I am sorry I will be with these people for a short amount of time, I do not need their life story and they don't need mine. 

My UO is at this point, I feel that armed cops should be at every school (along with stricter gun control laws).

mamaj1220

Also, I hate character clothing for kids. No clue why but I can't. DS has a couple paw patrol shirts that his grandparents got him because I won't buy them. 

bender29

@mamaj1220 I’m with you! They make me cringe!

sunshinesea22

@mamaj1220 I’m with you on the character clothing. I wouldn’t wear a shirt with someone else’s face on it, so I definitely wouldn’t put that on my kid. Sorry future kids...no tacky shirts for you!

sunshinesea22

Here’s mine: I CANNOT stand the “princess” culture that seems to inundate little girls these days. Yes I played dress up in princess dresses as a kid, but people didn’t call me a princess and I didn’t own clothing/accessories etc declaring princess status. Girls should be taught that they don’t need to be a princess to be special and important. Let’s encourage empowered young women who don’t need a “Prince Charming” to save the day!!! If anyone ever calls my daughter princess, they will be feeling the full force of my feminism!

ruby696

@sunshinesea22 I agree with this so much. We're always telling DD that she can do anything boys can do. When DS tells her pink and purple are girl colors and blue is a boy color, we explain why all colors are for everyone.

@mamaj1220 I HATE character clothing. My kids don't wear it. My MIL knows I hate it, so she buys it on purpose. I smile and donate it with the tags still on. 

rox7777

I hate get to know you activities in general. I’m socially awkward and I hate most people. How’s that for fun facts?

Also. Really hate character clothing. My boys are finally at the ages where I can’t argue much. But babies/toddlers get no character clothes. 

emlettuce

I have zero problems with character clothing. Getting DS dressed has become such a battle that I will put him in anything that he we willing wear and if that means Mario, spiderman, or lighting McQueen everyday, so be it.

m6agua

@sunshinesea22

pirateduck

I hate that Disney has bought the rights to movies they didn’t produce and characters they didn’t create and now a whole generation of kids (and future generations) will think of these things as “Disney” and everyone will forget about people like Jim Henson and Tim Burton among others.

sunshinesea22

@m6agua YESSS!!! I cannot tell you how happy frozen makes me!! Girls saving each other, no boys involved! We need so many more Frozens!! I might drag DH to see frozen 2 in the theatre 😂

peachnectarine

I don’t mind character clothing as long as the kid actually likes the character. My DD loves wearing her Frozen shirt and my DS who could care less about clothes, loves wearing his Batman shirt. I think it’s cute that they like their shirts so much. But when I see parents dress their babies/young toddlers in character clothes, do they really love that character or are they being forced to love it? My husband’s cousin used to dress their baby in Mickey Mouse clothes all the time and he had like every Mickey Mouse toy ever made before he was 18 months. They had a Mickey Mouse bday party for him and EVERYTHING was Mickey. Enough with stupid Mickey!! Let him make up his own mind about what he likes! 

shamrocandroll

I don't mind character clothes if DS knows the character. Like he loves Daniel Tiger and I like the lessons they teach, so he's cool. But he doesn't know who most super heroes are and I don't want him watching that stuff yet.

What drives me INSANE: My MIL buys DS shirts with stupid sayings on them or super ugly clothes, and they immediately go into the daycare spares pile. I don't know how she finds such ugly toddler clothes. He has shirts that say "My dad's the real deal" and "Mom and I let Dad think he's the boss" and I'm just like 🙄 because, uhh... No we don't. 😂 

mamaj1220

DS asked me for a “dab cat” shirt and I just looked at him blankly. @shamrocandroll we have a lot of shirts with sayings like all kids Nike and under armor have sayings so he has those (also shout out to TJ Maxx for cheap prices on brand names)

Austenista

I guess my UO is that I like stereotypically girly things and don’t really have a problem with princesses and pink and bows and that sort of thing. 

What I don’t like are the shirts that sexualize children. The ones who say things like “lock up your daughters” or “my dad says I can’t date til I’m 30.” I’ll take that right back to the store if gifted and donate any handmedowns with that sort of thing on them. I know people think they’re cute but I just think they’re so inappropriate. 

rox7777

@shamrocandroll My MIL has the worst taste in boys clothing! It blows my mind what she manages to find for my boys. And everything has to say dad or daddy because according to her both of my boys look like him and I’m just an incubator. She’s already going on about how our daughter is just absolutely going to be his mini me and be daddy’s girl. Puh-lease. 

pirateduck

@rox7777 my husband and I have this theory that if it’s a girl it will look like him and if it’s a boy it will look like me and this will be somehow creepy  or possibly the baby will just have all of our worst features combined!

rox7777

@pirateduck Both boys have a combo of our features. Both have butt chins and small noses which they got from me. DS2 has curly hair like me though MIL insists MH had curly hair (for 2 seconds). DS1 is tall with long legs (me) DS2 is shorter with a muscular build (MH). But she’s just one of those people that insists that they both look like him. Which is hilarious because DS1 is pale, blue eyed and fair skinned and DS2 is dark, brown hair, brown eyes. I’m half Hispanic and MH is not. Take a stab at who got what from whom. 

ruby696

@rox7777 MIL's are ridiculous. MH is Hispanic and I am not. DS had light skin and gray eyes when he has a baby and MIL insisted MH had bright aqua eyes when he was born. 😒 She also insisted MH was left handed when he was a kid, when we though DS be a lefty (like my dad). MH is one of three boys. I joke with him that there was obviously a 4th boy he doesn't know about, who was a lefty with blue eyes. DD is pale skinned with light eyes and MIL has never once commented on who she looks like. 🙄

catem07

@shamrocandroll I bet they come from Children's Place. A lot of their clothes have dumb sayings. I also send the clothes I hate to be daycare extras. 

@Austenista same on the sexualizing children! I also don't like triangle style bikini tops on babies/toddlers/pre-pubescent girls.

TattoosandLace

Taco pizza is the superior pizza. [no one will convince me otherwise. It's all I've been able to keep down.]

rox7777

@ruby696 Unfortunately for me MIL is going to be worse once our daughter is born. She’s been obsessed with us having a girl since we got married 8 years ago. I’m dreading it. 

Im also the only lefty in the last two generations and it only carries in the women in our family. MH family has no lefties. I’m waiting for her to be a lefty so MIL can make some outlandish claim and completely null and void the fact that I am indeed a lefty. 

chewie5990

I don't mind character shirts as long as they look nicer and not dumb/cheesy. DS definitely has a lot of star wars shirts that I like - but he always wants PJ Mask shirts and they all just look so silly/cheesy that I don't buy them. I also HATE shirts with dumb sayings - onsie too! My MIL would always get onsies that said things like "daddy's wingman" or "lady killer" I just think it's stupid and they definitely went in the daycare extras! I really prefer clothes without sayings or large brands for both myself and DS 

chewie5990

But like someone else said above - he's getting to the point where he has a clear opinion and wants to pick out his own clothes and I typically let him unless it's absolutely atrocious. I think at a certain age clothes is definitely something kids should have autonomy over 

splashmountain

I ❤ character shirts! Ok so mostly when we go to Disney, but DS is in such a hard stage right now with clothes that we rotate between Batman, 2 different Mickey shirts, green lantern, finding Dory and a plaid button up. There are no other options that he will wear. Period. 

And S looks just like me/my brothers, super pale with light brown hair. H and I have said for years that if we have a girl, she'll probably look like him, super tan with black hair. I guess we'll find out come May 

ruby696

@rox7777 Oh, I feel your pain. MIL wanted a girl so bad (she admits she was hysterical when DH, the youngest, was born and he wasn't a girl). She was convinced DD was yet another boy, so she booked a trip to Mexico during my due date. We knew DD was a girl, but never told anyone because I couldn't stand to listen to her, and have her buy obnoxious dresses, for months before DD was born. We've had to deal with favouritism, especially when it comes to gifts, quite a bit. It makes me ragey.

catem07

@chewie5990 My daughter rarely matches and nearly always clashes. Black pants with a navy shirt, star pants with a flower shirt. There's no way I'm wasting my energy arguing with a 2.5yo about what she wears. I just have to make sure only clothes that are weather appropriate and fit her are in her drawers.

shamrocandroll

@rox7777 My MIL legitimately harrasses me for a girl because she never got one of her own. She also claims raising 2 boys is what made her so mean to people. She told me before we had kids to pray for girls. She doesn't know we're having another boy, but honestly I'm kind of glad, just to spite her. 

mamaj1220

I honestly ignore DF's family about DS looking like him. He has an older son who is his mini but our shared son has my families strong genes, there are pictures of myself, my younger bother and DS where (other than the picture quality) you can't tell us apart. He has moments where he looks like DF but most of features are me. 

soprano19

DD looks mostly like H in coloring and in facial features. I see occasional glimpses of myself as a kid, but that's it. She does have my curls, but her hair color is the EXACT same as my H.

jhysmath

So I hate character clothes and clothes with dumb sayings. My mom understands this now and doesn't purchase them. As I told her unless you'd wear a matching one don't buy it for my kid. 

My MIL says stupid stuff like dd has eyebrows just like her... No idea on that one. Dd looks just like me bald forever as a kid. Only think I see from her family is her cankles and I'm hoping she grows out of them. From MH's dad's side dd has huge ears. 

And lastly no teacher wants 25 mugs, especially those of us who don't drink coffee or use mugs. The best gift I got was from a family who is Mexican, and the mom knows that's one of the things I miss living where we are Mexican food, she made me rice, enchiladas, and tamales for Christmas one year it was the most thoughtful gift I ever recieved. 

rox7777

@shamrocandroll For a very long time I didn’t want a girl because of MIL. But MH badly wanted because both of our boys are total mama’s boys and he wants that connection. I decided that giving him a girl was 1000000% better than spiting MIL. But don’t you worry, I’ve found subtle ways to be spiteful like refusing to tell her the name. 

And I’ll secretly throw away every single freaking thing she buys that is Minnie Mouse and claim I misplaced it. Try me. 

Linsbins

I hate the sayings on shirts for kids but DD is old enough to have some opinions about her clothes, and if she wants the ruffly Elsa shirt with the sparkly pants, doesn’t bother me. As long as your kid can run and play, it’s fine. I hate parents who send their children in heels to school though. If I sit your kid out, then I’m the jerk. If I let them play, and they get hurt because they’re 5 and don’t know how to play in heels, then I’m still the jerk.