TW Tuesday 11/19

varimama

Who’s being a twatwaffle in your life?

varimama

Do other people’s kids just not nap? SIL is having Thanksgiving at exactly DS’s naptime 12-2. Like I feel like 12-2 is a pretty common naptime and she has similarly aged kids... idk if we should show up late and try to get DS to nap in the car on the way there or go early and try to get him to nap there or just say screw it and skip the nap. Of course if we go with the latter he’s almost guaranteed to fall asleep in the 2hr drive back then he won’t sleep at night... 

miss.sally

@varimama I think that is definitely standard toddler nap time. I can’t even imagine the chaos/horrible toddler behavior that would ensue if I chose not to nap DS. Lol. Since it’s a 2 hour drive, could you wake him early that day and have him nap in the car on the way? 

varimama

@miss.sally his car naps don’t always go well. I’d be scared he’ll refuse to nap and then we’re stuck with him even more overtired from waking up early. I’m just frustrated bc it seems like every time we see them it has to be at the most inconvenient time for DS but I hate saying no bc I want him to have some relationship with his cousins 🤷🏻‍♀️

stassischroeder

@varimama That would seriously piss me off. My MIL wants to have Thanksgiving at 1:30pm, and she's a 2 hr drive away. Hopefully DS will nap well in the car, but I told her DS and I might be late because his nap is priority.  

momoftoddlers

@varimama My kids have always been horrible nappers but we have this problem when our family wants to have Sunday dinners from 3-5 because then our kids get confused and want to go to bed at 5pm. If it won’t be a problem for other schedules I’d politely ask to start at 1, and then put your son down for his nap in the car at 11. Maybe a special blanket, stuffy, music etc can help him fall asleep. If you nap him at home and then expect him to sit in the car for two hours wide awake, that would probably not be pleasant. 

But family who can’t understand its in everyone’s best interest not to mess with toddler naps is definitely worthy of a TW! 🤪

treetop19

@varimama sometimes people just don't think about how tough it can be to attend events with little kids... (especially family, and especially family without little kids, IMO.)  hopefully you can work something out!

Malidocious

@varimama Oh no! That is prime nap time!  I don't have any other kids besides the one I'm pregnant with, but my nephew (he just turned 3) only naps at daycare during weekdays.  He doesn't nap AT ALL on weekends or days when my mom will babysit him, and he seems to do alright (though he's a lot nicer and better behaved when he DOES nap). I like to think anyone would be understanding that naps take precedence over anything else, including holiday meals.  Routine is so important!  That said, my family does Thanksgiving around 1 PM every year.  I'm fully prepared to either be late to Thanksgiving each year after my LO is born if that's when she's going to nap. They can just deal with it. *shrugs*

You guys... my TW is myself!!  I'm just so hormonal and sad constantly; I am totally pissing myself off.  It's only 10:45 AM and I've already had to excuse myself from my desk at work to go sob in the bathroom FOUR TIMES.  Over minuscule things!  I'm relatively recently divorced and this will be my first Christmas without my ex (we were together almost 10 years) and I actually cried over an email I got from Old Navy for sherpa socks because that was always a gift that my ex would give me for Christmas -- a few pairs of fluffy, fuzzy socks.  I hated them before we got together, but now they're the only socks I usually wear around the house.  Realizing that I would have to buy my own socks this year just hit me in the feels and I am tearing up just writing this... but why?!  Socks!!!!!!

kagesstarshroom

@Malidocious I'm not MAD at myself per se lol but i am finally getting to the point in my PG where I do get the feels over things that might not have previously given me them? Ah, hormones. Also, Mercury is Retrograde, so that makes people super nostalgic over that which they maybe shouldn't be? AND we're still in Scorpio, which DOESN'T HELP WITH THAT AT ALL. So it's not just you, it's also the stars. ^_~* Scorpio season ends super soon, and Mercury stations direct.... in early Dec.? I forget when.

I'll make my TW also myself: SELF, why didn't you grade these annotated bibliographies this weekend?! Now you have to grade them this week before other stuff piles on top of them & you exist under a mountain of grading! Be more fair to yourself, self! Get that sh!t donneee.

silverhope

@Malidocious I’m so sorry! The holidays are super emotional anyway and with all the life changes you have going on, being teary is completely understandable. I forget, have you been taking any antidepressants? I think I remember your doctor suggested some but you were back and forth on taking them? I have a chronic illness and am flaring. I was really scared to take meds but realized my body being inflamed and sick is worse for baby than the meds. I hope you remember that you are a priority right now—mentally and physically: both are important for you and baby.

@varimama early UO: we have DS skip naps for events nearly every wknd. That said, he is honestly very good even when exhausted beyond belief. He’s only 19 months and usually takes a 3 hour nap. When we have him skip nap, as long as he can play and be around ppl, he has the best time and we find it worth the skipped nap. He does sometimes snooze in the car and then may not go to sleep until insanely late (though we usually wake him after the car ride). But he also is pretty happy babbling in his crib alone, so we put him in and let him babble. If he had meltdowns or cried during bedtime when overtired, we’d probably be more strict on naps. We have no schedule, which I like, but sometimes it does make things harder (like when I REALLY want him to nap and he doesn’t feel like it bc we aren’t consistent...which is my TW today). 

stacey6689

@Malidocious I can't imagine how you are feeling. I hope you find something to help you get through. The holidays can be rough especially when you already have so much going on in your life. 

My TW for the past week has definitely been myself. I am just tired of feeling sad all the time. I also keep having dreams that my DH is cheating on me or is going to leave me and I start sobbing in the middle of the night. He has not given me any reason to think that ever so I don't know why I keep dreaming about it. Ugh, I am at work now on 4 hours of sleep and feeling miserable. DH is off of work tonight and wants to go out for dinner and I am just not in the mood to do anything or be around anyone. Everything just seems to be upsetting me in some way and I am usually not easily bothered but I just want to go home and cry into my pillow. 

dunder_mifflin

Aw @Malidocious sending hugs! Sorry you’re going through a rough time lately

miss.sally

Oh @stacey6689 I’ve had SO MANY dreams of H cheating, also! It’s so strange. I even had a dream that I caught him with another man, like wtf self. I told him one morning “wow you are a horrible person in my dreams.” 😂 

varimama

@Malidocious hugs! Holidays are hard without pregnancy hormones and major changes! Not the same but when I used to always get socks in my stocking but when my parents stopped doing stockings I was super bummed I’d have to buy my own socks. 

@stacey6689 and @miss.sally haha I’m the opposite and my dreams have been me cheating or leaving DH. So weird bc I have 0 of those feelings when awake. It’s always with random people too like William Zabka 🤣

silverhope

@stacey6689 have you talked to your OB or doctor about these feelings? It may be pregnancy hormones exacerbating things, but you don’t deserve to be feeling this way. I hope you can reach out to someone and get help—your mental health is important during pregnancy *hugs*

mrsvp614

@varimama Your post just made me realize that our Thanksgiving is also scheduled for nap time. Not sure how we'll swing it yet.

My ILs were TWs this weekend, particularly my SIL. For the first time since I've been with DH, 9 years, she's dating someone. She's always seemed bitter about other people's relationships/happiness, and she isn't very social. She finally gave dating apps a try and we've been very happy for her. Well, her BF of a few months apparently does very well with his money. She told us they're going to Disney World in a few weeks. DH is jealous, and later made a comment about saving money so one day he could afford to go to Disney World. She replied, "well don't worry, BF and I could pay to take you to Disney World one day." MIL said, "Yeah, I'm sure he could afford it."
Like, ewwwwww! First of all, we don't want anyone else to pay for us. His success/money has nothing to do with her. But it's cute that you're acting high and mighty now. 

kantobean

@varimama DD doesn’t nap anymore but I remember how annoying it was to convince family to schedule events around her nap. I didn’t feel like it was that hard, but they always wanted to do stuff between 11 and 2. 

@malidocious have you talked to your doc about how you’re feeling? It’s just on my mind because I had an appointment today and they did a depression screening.

treetop19

@maildocious and @stacey6689, I hope you two feel better soon.     pregnancy hormones are definitely making me more emotional than usual.... I rarely cry but when pregnant, all bets are off. I'll sob at anything even slightly sappy these days.

@mrsvp614, I never understood people that get all smug about their relationships (or their partner's status), when really, it all seems so random and luck of the draw as to whether or not you find a good relationship anyway.  I'm guessing your SIL is smug now because she felt so insecure all those years while single?   

my TW lately is my work.... benefits changes (march babies seem poorly timed for changes that go into effect in January!) chaos with a new project, and of course, the usual coworker problems (mentioned her before on this site.) I am at a loss what to do about it at this point since I'm stuck with her.  She is too dense to realize that she is just making herself look bad by being rude to me/downing my ideas/acting more important than she is.  she thinks she is making herself look good and 'getting ahead' by acting this way..... sigh.  It would be funny if it weren't so dang annoying dealing with it on a daily basis. 

EmilyLove25

@mrsvp614 That would enrage me... for all the reasons you stated. And to add to that, why on earth is she acting like she and this guy are married and will FOR SURE be together and so bonded that he will want to pay to take her brother and his family to Disney? Like wtf. Also, not your money, SIL!

EmilyLove25

@Malidocious and @stacey6689 I'm chiming in with everyone to say I hope you feel better... and hormones and huge changes are intense. I remember with my first being SO emotional. I convinced myself I was a failure and would never be able to provide for her and seriously questioned my marriage... I think to some extent it is normal, but DEFINITELY something to mention to your provider. Hugs!

I know it is Wednesday but since my schedule is a TW here is my Tuesday TW: ads that keep telling me to "wrap up your Christmas shopping" or "get those final few gifts." ARE YOU SERIOUS? Not even close to done/barely started here.