PGAL check-in 11/18

m6agua

This thread is for those who are pregnant after a previous loss(es)

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 

Previous loss(es)? 

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? 

Any appointment updates? 

Rants/Raves/Questions? 

Any milestones coming up? 

GTKY, What is the best thing and worst thing about your job (including SAHMs)?

shamrocandroll

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom?  15+4 / May 7 / 1DS

Previous loss(es)?  MMC in Nov '18, early loss Feb '19

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?  Pretty good!  Nausea has died down for the most part.  Still have some food aversions and I'm tired a lot, but otherwise feeling human.  

Any appointment updates?  Nope.

Rants/Raves/Questions?  I think I'm starting to feel some movement?  It's hard to say for sure since it really does feel a lot like gas bubbles sometimes, but I think I'm feeling little flutters.  

Any milestones coming up?  I realized I forgot to mention this one last week, but Saturday was 1 year since I found out I had miscarried.  

GTKY, What is the best thing and worst thing about your job (including SAHMs)?  Best is that I love my company, and my job is literally to break stuff (scientifically, of course).  The worst is this project I'm on that is seemingly never ending.  We were supposed to launch it in June, and now it's looking like maaaaybe we might make it by the end of next year.  I'm just so ready for something new.   

ruby696

@shamrocandroll I feel like I'm starting to feel a little movement too! I'm still pretty early, but there are two so I guess it's possible. Exciting times my friend!

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 14+4/May 14th/3rd and 4th time mom

Previous loss(es)? 3 MMC's and 3 CP's.

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Pretty good. The nausea I had is all of a sudden pretty much gone, which is so nice! Sleep is hard and I'm exhausted, but otherwise good.

Any appointment updates? I had another US last Friday and the babies looked so big! It was so reassuring to see them moving around. 

Rants/Raves/Questions? Nope.

Any milestones coming up? Passed them all.

GTKY, What is the best thing and worst thing about your job (including SAHMs)? I love the excitement and high you get when you win (attorney), but I HATE unnecessary arguing. Some attorneys are so difficult for no reason and it makes me want to work at Starbucks. 

shamrocandroll

@ruby696 Haha, they're in there ganging up their little kicks on you.  So cute!    

emlettuce

@shamrocandroll @ruby696 also feeling little "maybe baby flutters" here, can't wait until it's more consistent

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 16+1/May 3rd/1 DS

Previous loss(es)? MMC April 19

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Pretty Good, but def not getting the 2nd tri energy boost. So tired all the time. Emotionally, last week was hard but I'm feeling better now.

Any appointment updates? Need to do a 24 hour urine sample sometime this week or next...probably this week but its so annoying and I dont want to do it. Besides who wants to keep a jug of pee in their fridge?

Rants/Raves/Questions? We have a crossing guard stationed right outside our house and he is just the sweetest old man who adores DS and DS loves playing with him a bit every morning while we're waiting for the bus to preschool.

Any milestones coming up? 

GTKY, What is the best thing and worst thing about your job (including SAHMs)? SAHM here, the best is that DS is such a cuddlebug that I get all the snuggles I could possibly want. The worst is the lack of social interaction. I dont have any close friends nearby and I'm not really one to put myself out there to make new friends so lack of those relationships is really hard. Especially when DH gets invited to after work events and I'm always stuck at home.

ETA a rave

m6agua

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom?  14+4, May 14, 1 DD

Previous loss(es)? BO/MMC November 2015

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Great physically, emotionally a little worried. I had an appointment with the endocrinologist on Friday and she also works with OB so she got the doppler but couldn't pick up the heart beat. I was 14 weeks. She was pretty positive I have an anterior placenta again based on what she heard, which was what the midwife thought at my last appointment too. Then we also told all of our family yesterday. So irrationally I'm like, since I didn't hear anything on the doppler on Friday and we told everyone things are going to go bad now, just because. Even though there are absolutely no signs that anything is wrong.

Any appointment updates? I guess I updated in the last section. I have my 16 week appointment next Monday, I'm bringing DD now that we told her, I'm really really hoping the doppler will work or they will do the bedside ultrasound again.

Rants/Raves/Questions? DDs birthday party is done with! It was a success and she had so much fun. I am exhausted though and now focusing on the next thing with is going out of town for deer hunting this weekend.

Any milestones coming up? Passed them all. With my loss I was going to announce to my (extended) family at deer hunting. I had the loss a couple weeks before hand so I wasn't able to and then to my surprise my cousin announced her pregnancy to everyone at that time. She was a month behind what I should have been. All that to say, I'm excited to get to announce to them this weekend. It is almost like I am getting a do-over.

GTKY, What is the best thing and worst thing about your job (including SAHMs)? Worst: No company match for 401K and the benefits are crap. Best: the team I work with and the flexibility my department has. If we are sick or have a sick kid my boss just tells us to stay home, we do not have to use our vacation time and we still get paid our salary.

m6agua

@shamrocandroll I hope it is movements you are starting to feel, I will live vicariously through you since I most likely have and anterior placenta again and won't be feeling anything for a while. That is frustrating that the project keeps getting extended.

@ruby696 I always thought I would make a good lawyer, I'm really good at wining arguments even if I am wrong and know I'm wrong. I can make people see my point. I guess I'm admitting that I am a good manipulator and that isn't a very nice quality to have. I have to say since I am more aware of it, I make a huge effort to not use the skill on purpose, especially for serious things.

@emlettuce That does suck about the lack of interaction with adults. I'm sorry you have to do the urine hold, my friend had to do it recently too.

On another note for everyone, it seems like we are all passing most milestones. Do we want to keep this a weekly thread for the entire pregnancy or change it up to a bi-weekly, or monthly thread at some point?

shamrocandroll

@emlettuce Making mom friends is SO HARD!  Are there any local organized activities you could bring YS to for both of you to make friends?  Maybe library story time or sign him up for a music class or something?  The socialization would be good for him, too.  

@m6agua Ugh, I'm sorry for the added anxiety!  Could you maybe call and ask for a quick bedside US check?  I did that at 10 weeks because my anxiety was pretty bad between 8 weeks and my 12 week scan.  They were able to get me in super quickly.  It wasn't a formal scan with pictures, but it helped ease my mind a lot.  

shamrocandroll

@m6agua I had an anterior placenta with DS and everything was super late.  I forget how long it was before they got anything on doppler, but I definitely didn't feel any movement until I was close to 20w.  So frustrating.  They said at my 12w scan my placenta was still a bit too early to evaluate, but it was looking like it might be posterior this time.  I think going to monthly is a good idea!  Weekly feels like probably too much at this point, especially for those of us participating in a lot of other threads.  

m6agua

@shamrocandroll I'm just going to wait the week for my next appointment. I don't want to take up any of their time this week and to be honest my time too. I have too much to do to get ready for the weekend. I had an anterior placenta with DD and at the earliest was able to pick up the HB with the doppler at home at 13 weeks and then they got it at 16 weeks at my appointment. I didn't feel movements internally until around 20-22 weeks, then externally around 25 weeks.

ruby696

@m6agua Don't be afraid to use your super power when you need it - some people might think it's manipulative, but since you're probably right most of the time, you're really just doing everyone a favor. At least that's what I tell myself. 😆

pirateduck

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 
14+5, due May 13, FTM

Previous loss(es)? 
CP April 2017, BO/MC July 2019

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? 
Some days are good, some are bad.  The bad ones are really bad and I'm a sobbing exhausted headachey mess that cannot function.  Can insomnia actually kill you?  I have had some level of headache 5 out of 7 days for the past two weeks.  It's getting old.  I actually had to stay home from work the other day for the first time since pregnant and was vomiting again the other day (no vomiting in the first tri at all for me, this is new).

Any appointment updates? 
I had my first Centering appointment.  I have mixed feelings about it.  I feel like in general the program has lots of potential, however there are only 2 other women in my group.  One of the main reasons I wanted to give it a shot was to meet other women that live around me and they both live an hour and a half or more away, so I am doubting my ability to ever see them with any regularity after all this is said and done.  I also got my NIPT results back (not sure if I mentioned this last week) and I am an SMA carrier (all else normal) so now we are waiting for my husband's results.  Next I have the AFP test.

Rants/Raves/Questions? 
Just disappointed in the lack of local women in my Centering group.  Oh, and I was getting kinda excited shopping for a cute maternity dress for a holiday work function, and today found out there is a theme of "flannel and fleece" so I guess this year everyone will be in PJs or something instead.  Ugh.  Half my wardrobe is flannel and fleece because I live in a snowy ski town, so if something still fits by then, it's easy, but totally boring.

Any milestones coming up? 
Nope.

GTKY, What is the best thing and worst thing about your job (including SAHMs)?
I actually like what I do day to day, especially when I get to design big remodel projects, however I have a new boss as of last April and I'm not happy with that management change as I have very little respect for her both professionally and personally.  Also there is some further company restructuring that will go into effect in 2020 that I'm less than thrilled about.  I've actually been looking for a new job for awhile due to these changes, and had to turn down a job offer because they didn't offer medical insurance, and well, I'm pregnant, so that doesn't fly.  Sooo for now I'm here.


In terms of check ins, I'll go with the flow, but this is the thread I feel most connected with and the only one I do check in with any regularity other than the product spotlights because I know nothing about baby gear and I'm totally overwhelmed.  I like that it's weekly.

doctorcrime

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom?  15+1, May 11th, FTM

Previous loss(es)? MMC May 2019

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Like a lot of others here I am having some pretty bad headaches. My nausea has greatly dissipated though. I have been having difficulty drinking/finding something that I want to drink. The other day I was really craving chocolate milk-- and it was nice just to want to drink something because the last several weeks NOTHING sounds good and it becomes  a nauseating chore to force myself to drink.

Any appointment updates? Had an ultrasound on Friday (check on a disappearing twin from earlier in the pregnancy) and everything looked ok

Rants/Raves/Questions? I am definitely starting to show. Is this normal for 15 weeks? A lot of my clothes aren't fitting and I am just trying to get through the next few weeks in the semester before winter break. I haven't told ANYONE other than the hubby about the pregnancy. I plan to tell family at Thanksgiving but want to avoid telling work or anyone else before that but mannn do I feel like I look super preggers. 

Any milestones coming up? Dec 1st would have been my EDD for my mmc from earlier this year.

GTKY, What is the best thing and worst thing about your job (including SAHMs)? I am a college professor. The thing I love the most about my job is the flexibility. I have a lot of flexibility in the format I teach, content, structure, how I grade, etc. I really like that freedom to work when I want and design courses how I want. I think the worst part is trying to maintain a balance between being somewhat strict yet compassionate for the students. I constantly get a million different excuses, crises, etc. I have a lot of empathy but I also have to draw a line so that my stance on late work/extra credit/etc is fair for everyone. They are constantly pushing that line.

ruby696

@pirateduck If you're feeling overwhelmed about baby gear, maybe you should resurrect the BTDT thread. On other boards I've been on, that thread was a great tool for FTM's to ask question about anything and everything.  And the STM+ were always super helpful.

pirateduck

Thanks @ruby696 !  It’s a lot to take in and the baby registry guides are clearly designed to try and get you to buy as much as possible.  Then for each item there are a million options and I’ve never seen any in person.  I wonder if it would be less overwhelming to shop in a store vs. online where the possibilities are endless.

ruby696

Honestly @pirateduck, you don't need that much when they're newborns. Also, there are lots of little tips/tricks STM's have. Like buying several different bottle brands because your baby may hate most of them and refuse to use them. Buy a few different kinds and see what baby likes before buying a bunch. It probably would be a good idea to resurrect that thread. Or maybe I'll create a November thread.

ieles2531

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 

16+1, May 4, 1 living child

Previous loss(es)? 

neonatal loss in February 19

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? 

Like a human physically, this week is so difficult emotionally. 

Any appointment updates? 

Sitting in my OB’s office now...they just gave me my panorama results, mercifully everything is normal. 

Rants/Raves/Questions? 

Any milestones coming up? 

Thursday is our MFM ultrasound where we will know with reasonable certainty if this baby has a recurrence of the heart defect that caused our son’s death. After that an echo on December 2 that will tell us for sure. I am a MESS. 

GTKY, What is the best thing and worst thing about your job (including SAHMs)?

SAHM here. Best thing: my 4.5 year old is in school from 8-2 every day, so I have time to do laundry and grocery shop. Then I get to hang with her in the afternoon and weekends! Worst thing: I hate my husband’s work schedule. Sometimes he will go a week without seeing our kid because he’s working an evening or overnight shift. Also, his medical director keeps scheduling his overnights on weekends! That means I’ve got to be out of the house with DD until 4 pm because she can’t be quiet to save her life. 

m6agua

@ieles2531 I'm glad the panorama came back normal. FX for good results at your ultrasound. I hear you on the H work schedule. DH works retail so he isn't there at night a lot of times and in general he works every weekend unless he asks off. I end up being a solo parent every weekend and most evenings.

@doctorcrime I think it can be normal for 15 weeks to show a bit. I think most of the time though we notice it and others/the general public don't really notice it as a baby bump... especially if they don't know. They may think you are just gaining weight. I'm sorry your loss due date is coming up, I hope you take care of yourself that day.

@pirateduck Sorry the centering appointment wasn't that great. Are you going to give it a few more tries or are you planning on asking to go solo?

pirateduck

@ieles2531 It's gotta be hard having a kid that's not on a normal sleep schedule plus a husband not on a normal sleep schedule plus whatever your pregnant body is doing to your sleep.  You must be exhausted.  Hang in there.  Hopefully you can find ways to improve/adapt.  Try to focus on the good results you just got from panorama.  Please let us know how your appointments go, we'll be thinking of you.

@m6agua I'm going to keep going to centering for now.  I still think I will get a lot out of it even if the social aspect is somewhat lacking.  It's like a checkup plus a baby/birth class in one so no need for any other FTM type classes.  We'll talk about pregnancy symptoms and coping, infant care, breast feeding, car seats, birth plans/options, hospital tour, post partum and more, so there's a ton I will learn that I wouldn't learn from just a regular check up.  

Austenista

Weeks/EDD/How many times a mom? 15w1d/May 11/ DS1 (almost 3) DS 2 (17mos)

Previous loss(es)? CP 2012, MMC Feb ‘19

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Pretty good. My nipples are still pretty sore. Nausea is mostly gone but it comes and goes. I’m dealing with some RLP and my pelvis and thighs are aching already so I’m anticipating some discomfort for the next 23-25 weeks. 

Emotionally I’m up and down. I’m just so ready to be out of my IL’s house and that causes depression. I cry a lot. We were just so abruptly uprooted this summer I’m missing the life we had in BHam and wanting to go back to it. Hopefully once we get into our own home again I’ll stop feeling so low. Right now I’m just having a tough time. Some days are better than others. 

Any appointment updates? Nov 27th is our next check up.

Rants/Raves/Questions? Rant is just that this house we are trying to make sure we want to buy needs be inspected before we can move forward and the bank is dragging their feet turning on utilities. 

Any milestones coming up? We’ve passed them all. Now I just need to quiet my mind that everything is going to be okay and stop worrying. (And having nightmares)

GTKY, What is the best thing and worst thing about your job (including SAHMs)? As a SAHM it’s probably just the discrimination and stereotypes that are the worst. And the not being able to talk about it really positively or negatively without someone getting hurt. It’s isolating. But I would give up so many other things before I would give up SAHMomming 10/10. 

pirateduck

@Austenista   the aching hips and joints are hitting me hard the past week!

Austenista

@pirateduck all for a good cause but still it’s super uncomfortable. Sorry you’re dealing with it too

pirateduck

@Austenista I picked up one of these for $10 at Family Dollar in hopes that it would help.

https://www.asseenontvlive.com/product/contour-legacy-pillow/

I'm not convinced it makes much difference but it is easier to roll around with at night than a big pillow.

ieles2531

@Austenista  check out the cozybump pillow too. It helped immensely with pelvic pressure and back pain with #2. I feel you on the judging re being a SAHM. So many times I hear “must be nice” or “wish I could be lazy all day” when honestly some weeks I’m essentially a single parent if MH is working weird hours or is taking locem shifts in another state. 

@pirateduck I’ve been living with DH for 10 years so I’m thankfully used to the messed up schedule on the sleep end...it’s just sometimes the extra parenting sucks! Luckily he’s not a butthead about me having our babysitter come help for a few hours if I’m exhausted. 

ieles2531

Just got our ultrasound done and we have what looks like a normal, healthy heart! Still have to wait for the echo on 12/2 to make sure there’s nothing lurking, but it looks like this baby will be healthy. 

shamrocandroll

@ieles2531 YAY!!!  I know you were so nervous for this appointment!  I'm so glad everything looks good! 

pirateduck

That is excellent news @ieles2531 I hope now you can rest easy for a bit!

chewie5990

@ieles2531 wonderful news!!! 

ruby696

That is such great news @ieles2531!! You must be so relieved. FX the echo comes back the way it should. ❤

ieles2531

@shamrocandroll @ruby696 @chewie5990 @pirateduck thank you! I was so stressed out about it. Luckily MH was able to get his shift covered so he was there. Since HLHS is a progressive condition they will continue to monitor every 2 weeks, but we would have known something was wrong today. If there is an issue, it won’t be catastrophic like last time. 

soprano19

@ieles2531 I’m so happy and relieved for you! And it’s good that your H was able to be there after all.