April 2020 Moms

Weekly Questions 11/17

Any questions this week?
BabyFruit Ticker

Re: Weekly Questions 11/17

  • I feel like we're still a ways out on this one, but episiotomy yay or nay? My friend told me to choose an OB that doesn't recommend them, but is that wise? Is that better or worse than tearing? This might be a really dumb question, I just was surprised by the recommendation and I don't want to ask my doctor without hearing it from others...
  • @liligirl87 I'm a FTM so no experience but I thought they didn't do those anymore...?
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  • @liligirl87 I never had one. I tore, but I don't think it was too bad. Granted DS was only 5lb 4oz at birth, so I may not be the best person to talk about tears.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @liligirl87 I also tore naturally. DS was 7lbs 10 oz. I had three tears. One 2nd degree. Seemed okay. I know that episiotomies are far less common than they used to be. 

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Me 34 DH 34 
    PCOS

    DS1 born September 2017
    Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
  • My understanding is a tear heals faster and is less likely to become a problem down the road
  • On the same topic...is it possible to NOT tear?? What are the chances of my lady bits just stretttttttttttttching to accommodate? (Yes I know this is wishful thinking)
  • Thanks all for the insight! I guess its not something I have to worry too much about then. And I second @literatureandink 's follow up question  :#
  • @literatureandink I didn't tear enough to need a stitch, and DD was 8 lbs 1 oz. This sounds really gross and weird, but...my doc "worked on" (for lack of a better term) me (my vagina) before and in-between pushing during my labor. Not sure exactly what he did, but it involved him stretching/massaging with his hands, and maybe lubricating as well? I can't exactly remember what he did, but it may have helped. I thought I would have tore more than what I did with a baby that size. So, yes I think it's possible!
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @literatureandink and @liligirl87 I didn't tear with either kid!  Like @kerriann0o114 I felt like the doctors (different doctors with each kid, but from the same practice) were having me go slow and I could feel some stretching or something they seemed to be doing. 
  • My SIL tore with her first, but not at all with her second. I’ve known a few other women who didn’t tear with any of their kids. In some ways, I feel like there are a lot of factors that impact tearing. 

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Me 34 DH 34 
    PCOS

    DS1 born September 2017
    Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
  • I also didn't tear with my first and like previous posts said, my midwife helped me stretch between pushes.

    As for an episiotomy, I've had it explained that it can actually make you tear more. Think of it as a piece of paper that has a tear in it. After that initial tear the paper if much easier to rip. Whereas the initial tear takes more force and is harder to start. Hope that makes sense.
  • Anyone sleeping with a pregnancy pillow/wedge already? After having a bad back all day, I'm about to pull the plug on a pregnancy wedge.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @Kathryn0903 DH bought me a pregnancy pillow and it drove me crazy.  I just use a pillow between my legs and it does the trick
  • @Kathryn0903 I hated the pillow- returned it the next day! I had a the hiccapop wedge from my first pregnancy and loved it. It is small but works. I actually use it under my belly when I sleep on my side
    TW: 
    1 infant loss
    8/17: Our daughter was born
    8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
    2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 
    4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
  • @smallbutmighty77 I was looking at something similar. I don't think I can handle a full on pregnancy pillow.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @Kathryn0903 yes, since like 10 weeks 😂 I do use a pregnancy pillow (bought it for my first pregnancy so it’s been well used) and I like the front a back support it provides. It does take up a ton of room though. I’m always so glad when I can put it away 

    Diagnosed PCOS 2013
    7th Round of Fertility treatment (Femara + Ovidrel + IUI) 12/14 = BFP. DS born Sept.15 
    Natural BFP Feb 2017. DD born Oct. 2017
    Natural BFP Aug. 2019, EDD April 2020

  • @liligirl87 I think most dr’s let you tear.  However, you can do a massage trying to stretch in the month or 2 before delivery.  I did last time around but not sure how much it helped as I had a 2nd degree tear as DD came flying out in the last push (head/shoulders and all).  The tear wasn’t as bad to heal as I thought it would be.

    @Kathryn0903 I didn’t want a huge pregnancy pillow and I wanted something that I could easily move from left side to right side during the night.  I ended up getting the boppy side sleeper that someone recommended on the product highlight week and I LOVE it.  It supports the belly and the lower back, and then when you flip over to the other side - it does the same.  No re-adjusting really needed.   I do use a small throw pillow between my legs when my hips hurt.
  • Should we have a Black Friday/Cyber Monday deals thread?
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @Kathryn0903 Absolutely would followers this thread!
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