Weekly Randoms 11/4

Kathryn0903

What's happening?

literatureandink

This board is slow! We need to think of ways to drum up some interaction...

mercury94

@literatureandink I agree. It seems slower than a lot of the other BMBs. 

smallbutmighty77

Maybe bc we're still early? It does seem a bit on the lull side. 

KFrob

part of it could be that the app is the worst

literatureandink

@mercury94 I know, I lurk on the other BMBs and I'm like heyyyyyyyy we don't have that much going on in ours...Not even one drama post yet! Or one snark comment! 
I thought at first that it's that we're still "early" but May and June are already hoppin'!

Kathryn0903

I agree. It's so slow! I wish we had more activity. Do we just not have as many members or not enough active members?

literatureandink

@Kathryn0903 There were 100+ that intro'd and 36 with info on the spreadsheet. I'd say it's the same 10-15 women who are relatively active. So I don't know. Do we need to have cooler threads or something? lol

doraleigh35

It’s so slow compared to my previous BMBs and really chill. Even with the few drivebys we’ve had everyone has been kind. I don’t think we’re really that early considering how busy the May board is. I just think we don’t have that many actives, maybe more lurkers. 

mercury94

I like that we’re all nice, because there’s has been basically no drama. Just the one rando who called me out for telling her she should crop her name out of her ultrasound photo when she created a one-off thread. 

But, we are pretty slow. I’m not sure how to fix it. I definitely thought it was just too early at first, but it’s not. I’ve tried to throw out GTKY threads. I’m not sure it helps. Who has ideas for things to get people talking? 

mandarenee898

This is the first BMB that I’ve been active in so I have nothing to base it off of.  Last time I was pregnant the app didn’t work well on my phone that I had at the time (it was a really old phone 😂). Is it normal for it to slow down during the time period of symptoms slowing down / can’t feel baby yet / appointments are few and far between??

literatureandink

@mercury94 I keep throwing out posts too and I keep thinking someone is going to tell me to cut the sh*t. Lol

mercury94

@literatureandink I’m not. I felt like I was the only one putting posts up for the longest. I was so excited when you started doing it. 

doraleigh35

I don’t have any real suggestions other than keep putting up posts. I’ll try to be more active and hopefully we can sway some people out of lurkdom! My BMB with DD had already moved to a private group by this time, because the board was so busy and full of constant one-off posts. I really like the vibe of this board and hope we can maybe get it a bit more active!

Kathryn0903

Maybe try having a weekly gtky for all. I can start one this week.

babyrummom

I feel like it was more happening earlier on and had kind of slowed down

babybison

I only got into my previous BMB in the third tri, but most of our threads were complaining, lol. Twatwaffles and Monday b*tch fests were the best. 
But it's nice to be nice!

emsned

I will admit I didn’t enter anything on the spreadsheet because I have never seen one before and don’t understand the reason for it because I’m pretty sure I’m personally never going to reference it. Feel free to explain that to me or tell me if you do reference it a lot. This is also my third BMB and I was kind of enjoying the lack of drama on this one. I appreciate the people that create threads and I relate with the people that can only get on here a couple of times a week. That being said, there are a lot of “day of the week threads” that we’ve been skipping or only posting occasionally. And I do think we have a lot of lurkers. Possibly just a lot of moms that are really busy and have a hard time finding time to post regularly. I love this resource though and love sharing experience with others when I have time. 

mandarenee898

@emsned I agree with liking the lack of drama. If there was a lot of drama I’d be hesitant to post because I don’t like confrontation. 

jenabary

This is my first experience with The Bump, but I would say the main reason I chose this community over others is because I liked that it had more structured threads and not a million one-offs - it’s nice to have a clear place for pictures and updates and triggering posts (maybe this is the administrator in me. I’m all about organization 😊).  I also appreciate that we are supportive of one another even if we have differing views. I’m all for more interaction though! I don’t have many pregnant friends or mamas in my life, so it’s nice to have a place to have conversation about the experience! 

mercury94

In case it wasn’t clear, I also love the lack of drama. We are all so nice. It’s great. We just have less activity than some of the other boards, probably because we are all busy as well as nice. 

smallbutmighty77

OOOh yeah maybe bring back Twat waffle tuesday or FFFC ? 

literatureandink

I definitely am not sad that there isn't drama. I don't take part in it and I hate confrontation. Sometimes it's fun to witness, though. lol. Mostly I'm just lamenting the slowness. There are some rad women I'm starting to get to know on this board and I selfishly want there to be more! :-)
I think posting more of the weekly/daily threads will bring about more participation, as well as the one off GTKY posts. I really like those.

literatureandink

Here's a random that has nothing to do with board participation:

**Trigger warning for loss/pre-term birth**

My colleague came over to me this morning (she knows I'm pregnant) and started talking to me about her friend who just went into preterm labor this past weekend and thank goodness she was near a hospital, etc. She went on and on about how glad she was this baby turned out okay because she had just lost her second pregnancy late in the second trimester. WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS TO THE PREGNANT LADY??!! It just got me all icky feeling and nervous. Sometimes I wish people would think before they spoke.

liligirl87

This is my first BMB group and I feel like 1) I am for sure a lurker more than a super active poster .. will try to be better! But also 2) I question whether to write new thoughts in the 'weekly randoms' or create a new thread. I don't want contribute to a messy board but if we feel like we're lacking topics, I may throw one or two out there separately!

mercury94

@literatureandink What is wrong with that lady? It’s bad enough when everyone gives you their labor horror stories. Why get into things that cause extra worry. 

sanpelligrino

@literatureandink OMG i literally had the exact same experience 2 days ago. A lady i know told me how someone she knows had a 2nd tri miscarriage after everything seemed healthy with the baby. She knows how far along i am! WTH is wrong with people. 
It upset me and ruined my day with unnecessary worry.

sanpelligrino

Btw i agree with @babyrummom I think the board was active early on, and kinda slowed down last month or so. I for one have been so busy with work, I don't get to check in very often. The weekly spotlights have been extremely informative, and helping me filter and review the baby stuff I need.

kerriann0o114

I admit to lurking more than posting. It's just the introvert in me. If we were all standing in a room talking, I would be the one back in the corner smiling and nodding. I would like to participate more, and I will work on that. I also like that we are nice on this BMB, makes me feel more comfortable with posting. I rarely posted on my old BMB because I was scared of the snarky comments and drama.

babybison

@kerriann0o114 I would be standing next to you, but probably not talking.

I just went to a kids Halloween party where all the kids were under 2 and I had to talk to the moms. I basically just followed DS around 😒. 

Kathryn0903

@kerriann0o114 I'd be the same way. I'm totally the shy, quiet one in person.

KFrob

I'm the same way!  I feel like such a bad mom since I dread the thought of a play date...

rox7777

****lurking from May 2020****

I hang out a lot over here and have thought about introducing myself a few times. I’m due 5/5, but DS1 was born at 38 weeks and DS2 was born at 36 weeks so my doctor doesn’t think I’ll make it past April. 

I like this board. It’s chill. Nov ‘15 was crazy and we had so many people banned 4-5 times. We actually moved to FB in FOUR groups because there was so many cliques. I also like the May ‘20 group. It’s pretty laidback too, but we have Monday B*tchfest, TW Tuesday, UO Thursday and FFFC Friday. 

Kathryn0903

@rox7777 feel free to join in!

doraleigh35

Welcome @rox7777!

literatureandink

I talk a lot (shocker lol) but I definitely got uncomfortable on other boards feeling like if I posted something that was considered a "one off" or didn't quite fit, I would get a lot of snark. Don't get me wrong, if someone says something offensive or mean to someone else, I have no problem giving some snark to protect others. I'm really into the inclusiveness here, though. No need to be mean for mean's sake.

And about the colleague from today: she got me into such a tizzy that the first thing I did when I got home was use my doppler. Heard her strong galloping heartbeat right away which helped me relax.

jecies

Active lurker over here! I haven't been on a board like this since my first in 2006, back in the ivillage days. It was always drama, but a couple different small groups of us still talk daily!
I really like that this board is no drama. And I will try to post more.

emsned

@literatureandink I’m sorry your colleague caused you stress. I hate when people say that stuff to pregnant women. I don’t know what they expect us to say or feel afterwards.

While on the topic! There was a really popular thread called “things people say to pregnant women” on one of my old BMBs. You wouldn’t believe some of the things people said or how often inappropriate comments are made. Do we already have something like that which I missed? I bet most of us would have more to add as we all get bigger and closer to our due dates. 

Kathryn0903

@emsned we had that on my BMB as well!

smallbutmighty77

Up at 2am bc I read a book that wound up being super depressing. Like a book considered a lite read should have a warning if it doesn't have a happy ending!! Gave me crap dreams and now I've been up for an hr!!! Ugh. 

mercury94

Also awake at a stupid time due to weird dreams and the need to pee. Woke up at 3. No luck getting back to sleep.