TTCAL Week of 10/21/19

NYTino24

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage/spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.** 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? 

What is something that you are struggling with this week? 

What is going well for you this week? 

R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: What is your worst habit?

emeraldduchess

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. Miscarriage at 5 weeks December '18, CP July '19

Status: WTO 

How are things going? I faced my biggest post-loss/IF diagnosis challenge yesterday. *TW LCs mentioned*

Went to a family gathering that included two babies. Did it hurt my heart? You bet. Did I tear up? Of course. But I got to snuggle my nephew for the first time and tbh that made me feel better about everything. I have no idea why. I also got the biggest hug from my FIL and he told me he was proud of me. My ILs know how hard yesterday was.

I really hope I am on the road to a better/closer relationship with my SIL as well. 

What is something that you are struggling with this week? Nervous about moving to IUI but I will figure it out. 

What is going well for you this week? I am feeling better about the holidays coming up.

R/R? It's all work related. I am having a tough time and feeling very disrespected by my class. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results?  Nope. 

GTKY: What is your worst habit? Hmm...I procrastinate a lot. 

NYTino24

@emeraldduchess I’m proud of you. One day you’ll be holding your own little one. I just know it! I hope your class gets it together. Have you tried to hold a class meeting to talk about it? Anything specific I can give recommendations for? This is my first manageable class in 7 years and I’ve had plenty of tough situations in the 15 years I’ve been teaching. Feel free to PM me.

babyodo

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: MC (Oct '19)

Status: WTO-ish/Benched until after next AF

How are things going?: Not great. Today is my first day back at work since I miscarried on the 12th. I slept like garbage last night (for the 5th or 6th night in a row) and woke up to horrible cramps and lower back pain. I'm still bleeding, and the constant reminder every time I go to the bathroom is starting to wear on me. I'm so ready to just be done with this.

What is something that you are struggling with this week?: Returning to work. I'm mostly dreading getting any kind of forced sympathy from Mr. He-Man Womanhater. I have no idea how I'll react, but I can assure you it won't be positive.

What is going well for you this week?: I got a good chunk of my master's thesis paper completed yesterday, so that feels good. It's due on November 13th and I am just under halfway done. 

R/R? Rant - Is awful of me that I expected to come to work today with some sort of condolences from my coworkers? I don't expect flowers or anything, but a card would have been nice. I didn't even get so much as an email from anyone.

Rave - I had a really good run this morning. It helped alleviate the cramps, so at least there's that.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?: I got my TSH levels back (still waiting on other bloodwork results to post). My overall TSH is 0.868 mIU/L, with an average range of 0.465-4.680. So, while I'm within the normal range, I'm on the lower end of normal. I'm going to head over to my regular doctor's office and see if I can get a copy of my TSH panel from 2016 and see how that compares to this one. 

GTKY: What is your worst habit? Procrastination. I hate that I work well under pressure, which is probably why I procrastinate so much, but it really does cause me a lot of distress in the meantime. Like, I know I have x-y-z to get done, but I get overwhelmed and then wind up either taking a nap or watching Netflix instead of just doing the things.

tyrion_

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: Early loss May 2019

Status: WFAF 

How are things going? Good. I O’d this weekend so I’m ready for the most relaxed “TWW” ever 😂

What is something that you are struggling with this week?

 ***TW pregnancy/LC mentioned and referenced*** 

My best friend is pregnant and sent me her registry to review for her. I hate that I’m struggling with this. HATE. I’ve been looking forward to her having a baby and my own issues are interfering with my ability to help her. I still haven’t looked at it. I feel like I have no room to be this upset/jealous/whatever complicated emotion this is bringing up. I hate that I feel this way. But no matter how many times I tell myself that I’m so blessed my heart screams that we should be pregnant together. Blah. 

What is going well for you this week? I’ve been eating much better overall! And I’m determined to keep it up. I feel better in general, too. Such a difference when I fuel my body properly. 

R/R? Rave: I slept in this morning after a busy weekend and while it was hectic/rushed it was worth it. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? None 

GTKY: What is your worst habit? Being on the phone too much. I have to stop. My husband gets upset and has expressed it bothers him. Oops! 

tyrion_

@emeraldduchess I hope your schedules open up enough to make the IUI process easier to manage. I am praying this is it for you! And I’m still sending you love for your tough weekend. I hope only good things grow from it 💗

@ttcbabyodo I hate everyone you work with. I’m sorry no one showed an ounce of human decency. Sending you love and hugs. 

@NYTino24 I’m just sending you a hug already because it’s Monday. When do you go to the RE to discuss your next cycle? I hope they ramp it up for you like you’re wanting. 

tyrion_

@NYTino24 I just lurked in IF. I’m hoping the cramps are good ones and you’re surprised today. Sorry for all the issues you experienced this cycle. 

NYTino24

@tyrion_ Unfortunately it was a negative and we are onto cycle 11. In your situation, I would do nothing unless she asks and then be honest and tell your friend you don’t feel ready / comfortable to do that. I don’t know why she thought that was a good idea. 
@ttcbabyodo My coworkers didn’t do anything for any of my 3 losses and we eat together every day. I think sometimes they don’t want to address it because they don’t want to upset you and / or they feel awkward. Good job with the thesis. It’s nice to have a distraction.

tyrion_

@NYTino24 I’m so sorry for the bfn. I hope this cycle is a lot less complicated than your current one. I was catching back up and saw all that happened. What the heck?! I hope your body responds better to your next treatment plan. 

ottergirl81

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. Two CPs Nov. 2018 and July 2019

Status: WTO

How are things going? Ok. Been MIA on and off due to life being busy and just being discouraged. It hurts me when other people aren't doing well also. I read the stories on here and it hurts my heart so much. I want to hug everyone who struggles as much as me and even more to the ones who struggle even more! Guess I just needed a break for a while.

What is something that you are struggling with this week? Am trying to bring myself to start exercising more regularly, but the thought of so much to do in my house is throwing the idea on the back burner. Just too much to do. Cleaning is exercise, right?

What is going well for you this week? Met with my OB on monday (finally!) and he gave me a bit of hope for my situation for getting KU. 

R/R? 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Had blood testing on Monday for something...hormones I think. They took 7 viles from me, so freaky when that happens. I go in again on day 21 to check progesterone and DH and I are to go in together to get chromosomes tested. 

GTKY: What is your worst habit? Procrastination. So afraid of starting projects or certain tasks sometimes.

ottergirl81

@emeraldduchess sure hope relationships in your family continue to improve. Sorry about your class not respecting you, hopefully that will improve with time also.


@ttcbabyodo I am so sad to see you back here😢 So sorry about your insensitive co-workers also. A card from them would have been appropriate. Then again, maybe they're not sure how to react to the situation. Sending huge hugs and love your way. Also sending healing and hope.❤


@tyrion_ Great work on your better eating! Keep it up! Thats always something to be celebrated. Sorry about the situation with your friend. I've had that happen to me too in the past and its a very unsettling feeing. Good things are in store for you, I just know it!

mamasloth

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 1 MC in October

Status: WTO

How are things going? AF came earlier than I expected and I'm trying to stay positive. If I decide to do Clomid this cycle, I can start tomorrow.

What is something that you are struggling with this week? I've been unhappy at my current job for awhile. I'm planning to start a new job soon, once the person currently in the job is ready to retire. But, I feel like it's always the "wrong" time to quit - either we're short-staffed or it's just super busy - and I'm dreading having to train someone because my workload has increased since I started here and I feel like I would have to "sell" him/her on the job.

What is going well for you this week? I've been grouchy all week, so I'm glad to know it's PMS-related and not just who I am as a person.

R/R? I've been reading Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I've Loved, which has been helpful at putting things into perspective

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope

GTKY: What is your worst habit? Online shopping 

@ttcbabyodo I can relate so much. It's so hard to move on while you're still physically going through with it.

bluetickgal

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

MC at 7 weeks in 1/19 & at 5 weeks (CP) in 8/19

Status: TWW

How are things going? Things are pretty good overall...very happy to be back in the trying game, but trying not to get my hopes up too much that this is the cycle. 

What is something that you are struggling with this week? Tomorrow will be the beginning of month 18 of TTC for us!! Also, unless we get KU this cycle or next, any future due date would be a whole year after our original due date! Just more reminders of how long/tough this journey has been! I do have faith that we will get our THB in the end...at least I hope and pray with everything in me that we will! 

What is going well for you this week? It’s the weekend!! We are going shopping for new living room furniture, and I am very excited! 

R/R? Rave - You ladies are amazing...just wanted you to know that!! 💜 No rant, except above.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? None right now. 

GTKY: What is your worst habit? I’m somewhat OCD and have very particular ways of doing things, and sometimes I “correct” DH when he does something differently than me...and then I feel like a big ole jerk! 

@emeraldduchess I’m glad you survived the weekend...I know that had to be tough!! That’s so sweet about your FIL!! So happy you are feeling a little better about the holidays coming up too! And I’ve got everything crossed that this IUI is it for you!! 

@ttcbabyodo so sorry your coworkers didn’t do anything, even a simple card...maybe they didn’t want to upset you, but I know it would have been nice to know that they cared! Sending hugs!! 💜 That’s good you are making good progress on your thesis...sounds like you aren’t procrastinating on that, so kudos!! 

@tyrion_ so sorry your friend expected that of you!  I think what you are feeling is totally valid!! I’m sure she didn’t think about how it would make you feel...and hopefully she’ll understand if you just tell her you really can’t look at it right now! Good job on the eating better front! I have been doing terrible lately...help?! Haha.

@ottergirl81 so sorry you have been feeling discouraged and had some other stuff going on! I’m glad you felt hopeful after the appt. with your OB! Fingers crossed you get some answers from your testing and get your THB so soon!! 

@mamasloth sorry AF arrived early! Hope you felt good about whatever decision you made with starting Clomid. Best of luck with your job decision too...the fear of the unknown with a possible job change is huge! 

rachelredhead

Intro: MC at 7 wks 3/19, 5 wks (CP) 8/19

How are things going? Pretty good, all things considered. We’ve started down the adoption road and that helps my heartache, even though I know that’s its own long road. 

What is something that you are struggling with this week? It’s tough to be excited about adoption and, at the same time, retain hope that we’ll also conceive. Just tough to feel all those emotions at once so I feel really emotionally exhausted. 

What is going well for you this week? I’m really loving my new job, which is definitely a welcome distraction. 

R/R? I’m excited for a night away at a bed and breakfast. I’m typically the planner in our relationship but DH booked the b&b and dinner reservations. Makes me feel super loved and supported.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?We have a doc appt in mid November just to discuss next steps, testing, etc

GTKY: What is your worst habit? Online shopping! 

@mamasloth job stuff is so tough. I just changed jobs in Sept and it was so stressful to make that decision, especially withTTC in the mix. I hope you feel peace about your decision. 

@ttcbabyodo I’m so sorry your coworkers didn’t provide support you desired. It’s so hard. And exhausting. Be gentle with yourself and surround yourself as much as possible with folks who DO support you in all the ways you need.