Baby Name Drama

ohshish

Has anyone had real baby naming drama?

My husband and I agreed on a name, but his mother and sister are totally against the name we've chosen. We're a mixed couple (I'm white and he's Arab) and the name we've chosen is pretty normal for an American/"white" name I guess, and his family is insisting on an ethnic name (which my husband really isn't into). Just curious if anyone else is dealing with pushback on baby names and how you've dealt with it.

jvk2012

Sorry you’re dealing with that. This is why we don’t share baby’s name until they are here and we announce to family their arrival. 

ibabyloveb87

Can you incorporate both names by using one for the first and one as a middle? If you want. Your baby so it’s your decision.  

mandk1233

This is definitely why we aren't sharing the names we have picked. It so isn't worth the drama. But I second @ibabyloveb87 's proposition. Or just mentally tell them to screw themselves, tell them you aren't talking baby names with them anymore, and just name the baby what you both want.

As an aside, my parents had a similar issue come up when my brother was born. His middle name was supposed to be my dad's middle name, but my grandma decided to get involved and was rather insistent that he be named after my dad's dead father...who, btw, every male cousin born after he died was also named after 🙄. My parents decided to just go with it. To this day, they still forget what my brother's legal middle name is and think of him as the name they chose. And that is why I won't share baby names until the child is already born and named. 

babybelugaco

We arent sharing baby's name with anybody (aside from here hah) until baby is born..we want something to be a surprise for everybody! 

daffodil_shoe

I’m sorry but who gives a $hit what your in-laws think of your kid’s name? Did they have any part in creating your child? No, so they don’t have a say. It would be different if it was you and your husband disagreeing. But your in-laws’ opinion doesn’t matter even a tiny bit.

Swiftlet

We’re not planning to share the names for this reason. I expect everyone will be civil but I feel like weddings and babies bring out the crazy in people even when you wouldn’t expect it.

I’d have your husband speak to them and make it clear the name you chose is baby’s name and you both agreed on it. If you want to compromise and pick a middle name to appease them that’s fine, but you’re in NO way obligated to do so. They’ll get over it or they won’t.

leksiL

@ohshish - it's pretty awesome that your husband is on your side, mothers are able to guilt some guys into anything! My husband is like that but luckily his mom doesn't interfere with our children except want to see them all the time. I think they know that wouldn't fly with me, and we haven't had any issues with names (we did name DD1 after my MIL lol) and surprisingly haven't gotten any pushback on our religious preferences (they are Catholic, we are not religious).

I have to say I love you @daffodil_shoe - and agree with everyone that it's best not to discuss with them going forward. Also if you give in, they will think they can dictate the child's entire life.

daffodil_shoe

@leksiL

craftywitch

My DS has an unusual name and as a FTM I didn't know not to share it. I had SO MANY family members say they hoped it was a girl because they hated our boy name. Well that's his name now and I'll always remember who said they didn't like it and hold that against them. This time we're firmly not telling because we don't want opinions. I highly recommend telling them that you'll be deciding the name after she's born and it'll be between the two of you.

DDRRT1982

As someone who didn’t do a good job setting boundaries with in-laws at first, I strongly suggest you do this now starting with naming the kid what you and your husband want.  Throughout parenthood you are going to have lots of people telling you what a d how to do things and if you are not one of those people that like a lot of influence from others start from the very beginning establishing boundaries.