PGAL Check-In W/O 10/1

FyreFlyeRush

This thread is a safe place for those who are pregnant after a loss. (PGAL). If you have suffered a loss please feel free to answer the questions below and keep things going throughout the week as a continuing conversation.  

If you haven’t suffered a loss, please refrain from answering the questions, but know we welcome anyone who wants to come in and support the PGAL ladies and their milestones with encouragement or love tits! Thank you!  

1. How many weeks are you? 

2. Previous loss(es)? 

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? 

4. Any appointment updates? 

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? 

6. Any milestones coming up?

7. GTKY: Which upcoming holiday are you most excited about (Halloween thru Epiphany)? 

FyreFlyeRush

1. How many weeks are you? 23w5d

2. Previous loss(es)?  1/2019

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically?  Emotionally, I'm weepy and grumpy. Physically, I'm having a hard time getting comfortable in the Summer That Won't Die. I can't sleep. My belly feels bloated and full. If I do sleep, Squiggle kicks me awake. I'm also starting to get Carpal Tunnel symptoms, and heart burn is so bad, I sometimes skip dinner just to avoid it. 

4. Any appointment updates?  Regular OB 10/22

5. Rants/Raves/Questions?  Nah.  

6. Any milestones coming up? Viability this week, then.

7. GTKY: Which upcoming holiday are you most excited about (Halloween thru Epiphany)? I think for me, it's Dia de Los Muertos. My Christmas lights kick on at Sunset on Nov 2, and stay up until Epiphany. It drives everyone I know nuts, but even they admit it... There's something comforting about driving home and seeing those lights on for 2.5mos. 

c1kc1kpol1cn1k

1. How many weeks are you? 27w2

2. Previous loss(es)? 9/18 & 3/19

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Good! My back and tail bone are crippled though, i'll explain further in the raves

4. Any appointment updates? Just did my glucose test today, goodness, I forgot how much you had to drink and how thick that syrup was

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? So last night around 11 I decide to get the urge to sweep my entire house clean the bathrooms/ kitchen and mop all the floors, I went to bed at 1:30 and was pretty happy with the cleanness. So I wake up to use the bathroom later on and almost fell over, shooting pains from my tailbone and legs. I was limping literally and have been hunched most of the day....oops! I will try and get an appointment in with my chiropractor. 

6. Any milestones coming up? third trimester soon!

7. GTKY: Which upcoming holiday are you most excited about (Halloween thru Epiphany)? Advent!! Favorite time of year leading up to Christmas, just for me I love it and can't wait!

DalexRN

1. How many weeks are you? 25w

2. Previous loss(es)? My son at 17 weeks

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? I am on the struggle bus emotionally.  Tomorrow is 3 years since my son died and Tuesday is his birthday.  I was naive and stupidly thought this year would be easier so didn't mentally start preparing myself and was blindsided by grief today.  This pregnancy has been so healing but in the end, doesn't replace him and only emphasizes that there is a child missing in our family.  

4. Any appointment updates? Fetal echo on Tuesday was perfect (amazing news as congenital heart defects are very prominent in my family - I had open heart surgery to repair mine and my daughter had 2 that resolved without intervention)!  I also passed my glucose test thank goodness!  I was eating all the sugar in the days leading up to it in case I was getting cut off LOL

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Overall a great week for baby and me!  So happy to be at 25 weeks but really want to get to 30 then I can take a big deep breath.  Almost there!

6. Any milestones coming up?  Every day is a milestone!

7. GTKY: Which upcoming holiday are you most excited about (Halloween thru Epiphany)? It's a toss up between Halloween and Christmas.  I love both in different ways. I am way more excited than I should be to wear my "pumpkin smuggler" shirt.  

EmilyE13

@FyreFlyeRush What meds are you using for heartburn? Pepcid isn’t doing much for me anymore. Last pregnancy I had to resort to Nexium at OB’s recommendation but am trying to avoid it since it’s cat c. 

@c1kc1kpol1cn1k Ouch, I hope you feel better soon. Good luck on glucose test readout! I can’t remember how long it takes to get results—was it same day?

@DalexRN I’m so sorry about how tough this week has been emotionally but that’s wonderful news on both the fetal echo and glucose test!

1. How many weeks are you? 25+2

2. Previous loss(es)? DD’s twin 2/17

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally I’ve felt like I have zero patience these days. Physically I swear my belly has exploded in size. The weird thing was at my appt last week I had actually lost 2 lbs in the last month but belly was measuring big. They didn’t say by how much but it made me nervous for upcoming glucose test. 

4. Any appointment updates? 10/21 for follow-up anatomy scan and glucose test. 

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Nope

6. Any milestones coming up? Every day is, but particularly the follow-up anatomy scan. Fingers crossed. 

7. GTKY: Which upcoming holiday are you most excited about (Halloween thru Epiphany)? I can’t wait for Christmas since DD is getting so much more engaged about holidays now that she’s a bit older. Looking forward to baking Christmas goodies, too!

MollySm

1. How many weeks are you? 24w 1d

2. Previous loss(es)? 7/13

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically the heartburn is getting rough, and I am more and more tired.  But otherwise I am feeling pretty good.   

4. Any appointment updates? Next appt is Oct 15th.  I start my monthly ultrasounds.  

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Nope

6. Any milestones coming up?  Happy to hit viability, though I will feel more comfortable at 32 or so weeks. 

7. GTKY: Which upcoming holiday are you most excited about (Halloween thru Epiphany)? I am always excited for Christmas, though I am nervous pregnancy will make things tough this year.  I am super excited about Thanksgiving this year because we are traveling back to San Diego to spend it with friends and family.  

FyreFlyeRush

@EmilyE13 Rolaids work for me. Not much else does.

FyreFlyeRush

@DalexRN, I'll be thinking about you this week, and sending a happy birthday wish to your son...and loaning you my family's motto after my nephew died... 

ponyoisfun

@DalexRN Thinking about you.  Loss is so hard.

1. How many weeks are you? 25 +6

2. Previous loss(es)? 6/19, this baby's twin

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? My husband is worried about me because of my reactions to seemingly small situations of risk for my dd.  Like being at the park and thinking she will suddenly disappear.  Ever since she had a hard time breathing as a baby it's like I can't let go of this idea that if I am not there something bad will happen. 

My dd  (2.5) remembers everything and lately she has been asking about the twin and saying she is pregnant with twins.  It's super hard.  We didn't even talk about it that much with her because we didn't want to confuse her, but now she is bringing it up almost every time she touches my belly.  It's painful to explain. 

Physically, I'm still having a hard time balancing how physical my job is, how active I am used to being and the reality of being almost to the third trimester. 

4. Any appointment updates? 
None for me, all seems to be going well.

@EmilyE13 I had the same thing about measuring large. I have a hard time thinking about anything that could be slightly unusual about this pregnancy. 

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? 

6. Any milestones coming up?  Looking forward to the third trimester. 

7. GTKY: Which upcoming holiday are you most excited about (Halloween thru Epiphany)? I have to pick just one?  I guess Thanksgiving because we cook a completely alternative meal that is always a lot of fun.  It's also fun to see the look on people's faces when they arrive and we are having another country's cuisine. 

c1kc1kpol1cn1k

@DalexRN thinking of you

is anyone finding this October loss awareness month difficult? Just seeing some post's on instagram etc and they go right to the core. I haven't shared my losses really publicly but I might do so now. I also haven't shared that I'm expecting either, other than friends and family who I see on a day to day, (not social media). Not sure really.. 

ponyoisfun

@c1kc1kpol1cn1k a definite yes.  I'm so glad it is there, but it like you said it hits very intensely to hear others' stories...as it should.

biolprof

@DalexRN Thinking of you and giving you all the creepy internet hugs!

@c1kc1kpol1cn1k I hadn't realized it was loss awareness month. I have been public about my loss and made it part of my pregnancy announcement actually because I think it's important. It will be intense to see all the stories in one month though I still think it is a good thing for people to share! It has deeply impacted me for sure in ways that people who haven't experienced it have a hard time understanding.

kbrown2385

@c1kc1kpol1cn1k I haven’t seen much about loss awareness month yet. I am very open about my losses and usually share something. I should probably put something together soon.

@ponyoisfun have you considered talking to someone? Antepartum anxiety, just like post partum anxiety, is a real thing. Maybe mention it to your dr next appt and see what they think? 

@DalexRN hugs to you for getting through this pat weekend.

kbrown2385

1. How many weeks are you? 24+5

2. Previous loss(es)? 6 losses

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? emotionally I’m ok. I had a dream last week that one of the babies passed and we found out at our weekly scan. Id prefer to have happy baby dreams but this is what my hormones do to me. Physically I’m feeling huge and uncomfortable. The swelling in my feet had got to go. 

4. Any appointment updates? Mfm for growth scan tomorrow 

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? not much going on. Happy to be home from our trip for my sisters wedding. While it was great to see everyone, I’m happy to be in my own home where I can just be comfortable. 

6. Any milestones coming up? Every day at this point. 

7. GTKY: Which upcoming holiday are you most excited about (Halloween thru Epiphany)? I love the time between thanksgiving and Christmas. Everyone is excited for Christmas and I can listen to all the holiday music I want and decorate the house. 

DalexRN

@c1kc1kpol1cn1k Yes! This month dealing with my son's death is hitting me harder than it has since it actually happened.  I think it's the pregnancy hormones plus the vulnerability of knowing that we can be one of the statistics again instead of living in blissful ignorance.  
As for going public, I can tell you that I probably would have been pretty private about losing my son but we had just announced we were expecting less than a month before he passed and the thought of people not knowing what happened and then asking was too much to bear.  So I decided to announce his birth/death to prevent that from happening.  And the most wonderful thing happened - I got so much support and love and it helped me more than I ever knew.  I have since continued to be open about pregnancy loss and my fears of my son being forgotten and have almost become "known" for being an advocate for talking about what was once a taboo subject.  People I haven't seen or spoken to in years have messaged me with their own stories.  So IMHO, going public was a very positive experience with massive amounts of support.  

FyreFlyeRush

@c1kc1kpol1cn1k, Loss Awareness Month has been a big part of my life since my nephew's death in 2009, due to SIDS. This, however, is the first time it's applied to me, too, and it feels weird. Like at first I felt I was taking away from my sister's grief. Stupid, I know. But I can never quite shake the feeling I shouldn't be able to grieve because I miscarried rather than lost a child... Which is worse? My family, appalled, said my grief isn't any less because my child wasn't born. I'm still struggling with that. *shrug*

c1kc1kpol1cn1k

@biolprof and @DalexRN I definitely agree it's a good thing to share I just don't think I've found the right way too yet, both announcing this pregnancy nor sharing the previous losses, it's weird. How do you share both happy and sad news. I'll have to figure a way 

ponyoisfun

@kbrown2385 I like the whole season too, even though I am not into decorating.  On another note, I definitely want help and am going to bring it up at the next appointment.  I think I come off to others as calm and collected, but they don't understand that underneath I am having a hard time and just can't bring myself to be vulnerable enough to express it.  

FyreFlyeRush

@c1kc1kpol1cn1k, I am totally with you. I'm realizing that's why I'm still "hiding" my pregnancy. I didn't want to tell ANYONE with my last pregnancy incase I had to untell them, right? But, then...the worst happened, and I really didn't have anyone to lean on. So, this time, I told my family and close friends I was pregnant immediately. They've been immensely supportive, especially during PGAL Brain episodes. But other people...Eh....I just keep telling myself at somepoint they'll realize I'm not just gaining weight. And, I think it's what's keeping me from buying baby stuff. SO is getting antsy and I'm just like...not yet...not yet...not yet...we have time....not yet.

kbrown2385

Thinking of all you ladies and your precious little ones today ❤️❤️