UO Thursday 9/26

NamelessAria

Piggybacking on @NYTino24 with my UO. I feel like the unspoken rule to reply to everyone in a thread even if you post much earlier in the day or something is a huge barrier to posting. I mean I'm new here and I have no room to gripe about anything with how this community works. I know that. I just remember when that started and how at first it seemed nice and within a few months it felt like a chore. The longer I did it the more apparent it became that, at least for me, I was often having to invent replies that were very superficial just to feel like I fulfilled my duty to include everyone. Interactions felt more genuine to me when people scrolled through and if something was especially relatable or whatever they responded instead of feeling like you have to find something, anything, to say back to everyone. Yes there wasn't as much interaction with the community as a whole and sometimes people would have only one reply or perhaps none at all. But if I'm posting "yeah CD5. My period is done and I'm a good week from starting OPKs or anything. No testing or anything. Just kinda existing for the next week." I don't expect anyone to really have anything to say to that. I certainly don't feel like every single person in the thread needs to acknowledge my nothing post. Sometimes I don't post because I am not sure I want to commit to responding to everyone. But I don't want to post and ghost either.

That being said I'm all about doing what works for the community and what makes people happy. That system has made it this long probably because people like it and it makes people happy. So that's great! I don't want to be a negative Nancy here.

keikilove

@NamelessAria I second this 100%. I actually made a similar comment awhile back, not sure how long I’d been active here at that point. But now it’s been almost a year and I still feel the same way. I love everyone here and WISH I had the time to respond to everyone individually, but the truth is I find 5 minutes here or there to check in or quickly scroll through what’s been posted. That’s not nearly enough time to respond to everyone in a post so I usually have to wait till The Weekend to really post in-depth—and then it’s minimal interaction because most people aren’t interacting on the weekends. Maybe it’s something we could vote on changing/loosening the expectations just a little bit. 

bows22

@NamelessAria @keikilove I personally don’t bat an eye if someone doesn’t reply to everyone. There are definitely people who do that. But there have been people who came and posted for days/weeks without replying to 1 person. I don’t really know what the point of that is? And I know there are days when I don’t make it back to reply to everyone. Maybe people are judging me for that but I don’t think so? 

mvt2003

@NamelessAria @keikilove I totally agree with @bows22 I don't think it's a huge deal if someone doesn't get to every single reply, I know there are days I don't get to everyone. I do try to respond if someone is actively engaging with me, like a question or something, but if it's just a general "Have a great weekend" I do think love-titting is enough. I feel like this board is not meant to feel overwhelming, so however people do it is ok with me! (Except for the people who just post their own stuff and never reply to or engage with anyone else of course!) 

dpchickens

@NamelessAria @keikilove I also agree with @bows22 and @mvt2003 about the replying. I mean, I mostly stick to the randoms and whatnot, but I only ever respond if I feel I actually have something I want to say to someone. I stick to love-titting and maybe an "aw man, that sucks" or "good for her" mumbled behind my screen.