The Sex Thread

pirateduck

Face it, for better or worse, our sex lives change throughout pregnancy.  Here is a thread where we can talk about it.

Please refrain from judging others, sex is personal, but as we stumble through the next 9 months maybe we can help each other out.

mokay19

DH will be celibate until the third trimester like last time probably 😂😂 

soprano19

We did it last night and it was better than I expected. I usually hate sex during pregnancy (like most women, I'm sure) because everything feels like it's in a different location.

ruby696

We can't have sex at all until next week. I'm not sure if my RE will give me the green light then or make us wait longer. There's no real reason, other than it can cause spotting and makes people panic so they say don't do it. I am so okay with that right now. Especially since I'm taking progesterone suppositories twice a day. 🤢

pirateduck

I feel bad because my husband clearly wants to have sex, but I really just don’t feel like it.  He has also made comments about how my vagina will never be the same again, which may be true but is the least of my worries right now.

We did have sex the other night as well (even though I wasn’t really in the mood) and I’d say it was better than I expected as well.

louessbee

ruby696 said:

We can't have sex at all until next week. I'm not sure if my RE will give me the green light then or make us wait longer. There's no real reason, other than it can cause spotting and makes people panic so they say don't do it. I am so okay with that right now. Especially since I'm taking progesterone suppositories twice a day. 🤢

I know the feeling with the suppositories! They are so gross. My husband has had no interest lately, largely I think because of them >< Gonna be on them for a while, he'll survive 😂

Linsbins

@pirateduck is this your first? We actually have better sex after the first one, and things healed up the same according to both the doctor and dh so 🤷🏻‍♀️

ruby696

@louessbee They are so gross! I reminded MH that he survived the six week restriction after labor for both kids - he'll survive this.

@pirateduck +1 for healing quite nicely. MH can't tell the difference.

mdfarmchick

@pirateduck the sex keeps getting better. Don’t worry. You’ll have periods where you don’t want to or he doesn’t, but everything goes back just fine. 

We've had sex once since we found out because I am tired, we are tired and right now MH’s work schedule is wonky on weird days. Like tomorrow he’s getting up at 3 am to go to work and he had to do that last Wednesday too. 

catem07

Oh my gosh thank you for this thread haha. Last time we didn’t have sex at all during pregnancy once I started to feel sick. I don’t want that to be the case this time. 

pirateduck

Thank you ladies.  This is not my first pregnancy but hopefully my first child.  Last time when everything was questionable I was on “pelvic rest” and also had progesterone, and then healing time after MC so we didn’t have sex for a few months and were just getting back at it when I somehow miraculously got pregnant again.  It’s almost hard to believe I’m even allowed to have sex right now, but my doctor assured me that it’s very difficult to do anything harmful to a healthy pregnancy, so for now, sex is permitted.  If only I could sleep sometimes maybe I’ll have the energy for it one of these days.  

Other ladies on progesterone, since it is a hormone and something that is absorbed, do your husbands also worry that it will someone do something bad to them if they have sex with you? I feel the doctor would have mentioned this if it was a real danger, but hubby sometimes worries about his manliness.

babyodo

Oh thank goodness, I felt like I was some kind of freak for not wanting sex at all right now. We actually haven't had sex since the night I ovulated (which did the trick! LOL). I've had a few sex-related dreams, but that's been about it at as far as sex drive goes. I'm actually hoping to feel more frisky this weekend, but don't wanna get my hopes up.

For those not familiar with MH and myself from the stories I've told on the TTGP board: He works 10-11 hour days Monday-Friday (wakes up at 3:15am), so as soon as he gets home he crashes on the couch, sometimes until the next morning. I'm active duty military and part-time grad school, netting about 20 hours of internship per week, so I, too, am friggin' exhausted. Add pregnancy on top of that, and I am a tired, cranky beyotch most days, especially by the time everything is done and I'm ready to settle in for the evening.

I'm sure if MH were more in the mood and expressed his desire I'd most likely be down to get busy, but since he hasn't made any moves, neither have I. Maybe this will change in the 2nd trimester once I'm not so tired & nauseated all the time. I feel like I have a 24/7 hangover, minus the headaches (thank goodness).

rachelg777

MH and I have yet to have sex since FW. I hate having sex while pregnant... but I'll probably be a little more inclined when second tri rolls around. I have definitely turned him down a couple times but try to be willing to do other stuff... 

ruby696

@pirateduck MH wears condoms, just in case. My doctor didn't mention anything but once I started teasing him about sore boobs and hot flashes, he decided to err on the side of caution. 😂

mokay19

@pirateduck I would assume as long as you’re not having sex shortly after inserting the suppository, then your DH will be fine since your body absorbs the actual progesterone and just leaves behind the lovely filler/gunk. 

Last pregnancy, when we had sex like once while on the progesterone, I made him do it in the shower since I was on Crinone and that had much more excess. 

randicap-2

MH and I have had sex only once since ovulation but before our BFP. I feel bad but  I’m just exhausted. But hopefully this pregnancy will be like last time, where I had a super high sex drive almost the entire 2nd tri 🤞 

shamrocandroll

My OB said no reason for pelvic rest, but I'm paranoid after finding out about my small SCH, so I'm on self imposed sex strike. I did give in and let MH get some (gentle) action once on our vacation last week because I felt bad that I was such a lame travel buddy and it was our anniversary. Plus we have this thing about doing it in every state we visit, and this was our first time in Washington. 😂 

pirateduck

@shamrocandroll I am paranoid too and when I am paranoid it is hard to actually enjoy it.  

pb0801

We just found out about a week and a half ago and since then I wasn’t really in the mood, mostly because I was cramping on and off and my last pregnancy ended in a MC so I was on the paranoid side. We ended up doing it the other day and luckily it went a lot better than I expected. It wasn’t uncomfortable what so ever and I experienced no cramping or spotting/bleeding after which was such a relief. I don’t have much drive for more sex now mostly because I am always tired but hopefully my drive will pick up. 

pirateduck

@pb0801 we had sex the other day too and I was so paranoid I’d see spotting afterwards but I seem to be in the clear

babyodo

I want it, MH wants it, but by the time the day settles down and we actually have some free time to do it we're too exhausted and just want to go to sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat. 

I'm hoping to be able to soon, though. I keep having vivid sex dreams, and I know he's aching for it, as well, but he's respecting my nausea & heightened sense of smell, too.

pirateduck

@yodamama I keep telling my husband how gross he smells  I can’t handle anyone’s breath or armpits right now but most people don’t get close enough for me to notice.  

mdfarmchick

@yodamama we live the same life—I want it, he wants it and then between the nausea and the smells and how tired we both are, we think maybe tomorrow 😂😂😂

Austenista

My H worries and won’t touch me in first trimester. I’m okay with it because I don’t feel like I want sex with anyone but myself when I’m pregnant. I just feel like solid instead of open if that makes any sense and want to be left alone. It’s just like my body is busy doing something else and isn’t into it right now. 

shamrocandroll

@yodamama @mdfarmchick OMG seriously, the smells!  I pretty much have to institute a no kissing rule because his breath smells so bad to me, no matter how many times he brushes his teeth or uses mouthwash.  Which SUCKS because sex without kissing just isn't the same at all.  Last time, MH liked to joke that prostitutes also have no kissing during sex rules.  Thanks for comparing me to a hooker, dear. 

babyodo

@shamrocandroll & @mdfarmchick OMG thank you for reassuring me that I'm not crazy! I gave him a quick kiss goodbye before going to dinner with my BFF last night, and the smell of his beard made me want to gag. The only thought I had was, "Go wash your stinky face." Then I felt like a major beyotch. 

We usually start with some fair amount of oral, and just the thought of that just completely turns me off. Not that he has ever smelled bad down there, but my gag reflex is super sensitive right now, and I have jaw pain on my right side (I looked it up and I guess that's a common pregnancy symptom?), combined with my heightened sense of smell is a big NOPE for me.

darkrose88

@yodamama my gag reflex is super bad right now too! I totally did not do well the other day while going down on MH. Also +1 for not being able to handle smells right now. Bad BO and breath are serious turn offs right now.  

mdfarmchick

@yodamama yeahhh. Perhaps you can have oral in a few months when I’m not gagging everywhere. Or maybe after I’m done growing a tiny human. I mean I love him but that makes me gag just thinking about it. 

ruby696

All you ladies giving oral are amazing. I'm not cleared for intercourse until after 10 weeks, so I have an easy out and MH hasn't asked for any favors. But I think I'd die if I had to give oral right now.

shamrocandroll

I did it once on vacation because it was our anniversary weekend, I felt guilty for being a lame travel buddy, and I'm still nervous about having (decent, deep-penetrating) sex.  I wouldn't recommend it. 

jhysmath

Are there any old wives tales about wanting sex all the time in pregnancy meaning it's a boy instead of a girl? I think I had sex a whopping 5 times last pregnancy and this time I just can't get enough. I also feel like for some reason sex is so much better than normal lately, partly feel like a high school kid again. 

DarkSerendipity

We have actually been going at it like college kids. We've had to pull back just a bit, the rocking motion really gets my queasiness rolling. I mean, I want it, a LOT. But we both know that hormones will kind of rollercoaster and predict the mood. It'll come back in spades in the 2nd trimester!

louessbee

@shamrocandroll Ditto on both the self-imposed pelvic rest (I'm an anxious human) *and* the doing it in every state 😂 I'm going to have to deal with it in a few weeks tho, we're going to Hawaii and DH would hate to miss that off the list.

pirateduck

I’m reviving this thread, how have things changed in the second trimester?  Better, worse, the same?

I now have a headache almost every day of my life so I’m rarely in the mood.  

sunshinesea22

@pirateduck thanks for reviving this one. I was just thinking I could use to talk about this. We haven’t really had a great sex life since our BFP. Once a week if lucky...more like every 10 days or so...I tried to initiate the other day and my husband complained that what used to work doesn’t anymore so he doesn’t know what to do. Idk what to say to that other than we just have to adjust. Also, I’ve had a headache almost every night and I’m usually pretty tired by the end of the day and just want to lay in bed and read.

drkoyya

In the first trimester, I was SUPER RANDY and had to convince DH. He was worried that something would hurt the baby but he eventually got over it. Now that I’m in the 2nd trimester, my libido has done a 180°. I have no desire for sex at all. Luckily DH is understanding but I miss it 😕 I feel like this is our last chance for regular sex before we have to adjust to being new parent, problem is that I just don’t physically want to do it. 

Perhaps more date nights will make up for the intimacy...

catem07

Eh once a week is our regular frequency. Now that I’m feeling better we’re trying to get back to that. Have plans for nap time today...With DD1 I don’t think we had sex more than once after my BFP so we’re already doing better in that department. I don’t know how I’ll feel about it once I really start to show though. 

mamaj1220

Maybe we can sticky this one? 

mamaj1220

Also I may in the minority here but I love pregnant sex, for me my libido is off the charts for the second trimester again and I find it more enjoyable. DF is happy until I start to really pop and then he gets kind of eh about sex. 

chewie5990

We are finally starting to get back in the swing of things. I was on pelvic rest during the first trimester and then sick for a week but now we are getting back to about 3x a week which is about all we can both handle with work and holiday craziness. 

mokay19

DH jokes that he forgets what sex is. I’m still too anxious to consider sex, though my sex dreams are off the charts haha. 

Like with DD, once I felt movement I was more willing. Since I could have that reassurance. 

Now that my belly is more a pregnant belly, DH is more horny though. He loves pregnant sex and finds my pregnant body very attractive  🤷🏻‍♀️ Too bad he still has to wait!