Working Moms


HonorBlossomHonorBlossom member
edited September 2019 in Working Moms
Ever since I had gotten married my mom was super excited to become a grandmother. She specifically stated that she was going to retire to take care of her grandchild when the time came. Well the time came, he was even born on her birthday! When I returned to work, she would come over from 6:30am-5pm. Every night when I returned home I barely got in the door and she was ready to be on her way, I had to rush to put my milk away while she stood there with him waiting impatiently, I didn't even have a chance to go to the bathroom. I understand it's a long day and I appreciate that she watches him but it makes me feel like she doesn't really want to be watching him, like it's an inconvenience. I returned to a stressful and toxic work environment for 4 months before I decided to leave the company with a payout so I could use that time to focus on finding another job. I asked my mom to continue coming over to watch my son, from 9am-3:30pm so that I could have uninterrupted time to focus on updating my resume, looking and applying for jobs and she agreed to it. There are even days that I tell her I don't need her to come. However, I still feel like she's always wanting to leave as quick as she can. On Wednesday mornings I go to a networking group from 7:30am-9:30am and this Wednesday night I had made plans with a friend so I asked if she could stay until 5pm when my husband gets home and she's like, I don't know that's kind of a long day. I was like mom, you did this exact time while I was at work, what are you going to do when I return to work? I've asked her if she's fine watching him and she tells me yes but her actions don't make me feel that way. I don't know what to do. My husband and I did not factor childcare into our budget (probably a mistake on our part, we should have factored it in even if my mom had agreed to watch our son) and we have the majority of our money tied up right now and not a lot of wiggle room. Thoughts? Suggestions? Not sure how to approach this with my mom....

Re: Childcare

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    Could you find part time care a couple days a week so she isn’t working every day? Even a day or two may be the break she needs. Babies are a lot of work and she basically retired to pick up another very physically demanding full time job. I’m not blaming you, since she’s the one being a martyr and pretending it’s all fine. Maybe talk to her specifically about her body language and look into getting her a couple days off or some kind of mother’s helper a couple times a week. Maybe you can even find a neighborhood kid you can pay a few bucks to come help after school.
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
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