Dear FTMs, Here are the NEWBORN Essentials. Love, STM & TTMs.

ktmaesim

We wanted to start a group where STM TTM or anyone can weigh in and let the FTMs know what you REALLY needed, what you used most, what you wish you had prepared for, or bought, for the first few days at home with your newborn.

k_mama91

A random must have in my opinion are Swaddle Me wraps. They’re great at keeping baby warm and the tightness seems to be soothing. 

cpk3535

If you plan to nurse, get a Boppy.  They have lots of types now, I just had the traditional C-shaped one.  So helpful in holding baby up when you're super exhausted (which is constantly ).  

ashorkey

New born size items. So many people said skip new born, but my daughter was tiny and was in new born for quite awhile. And swaddles 

For mama: nursing pads, sitz baths, witch hazel, and stool softener. My midwife actually wrote me a Rx for stool softener to fill before I left the hospital. 

Stac928

A nursing pillow. Even DH found it helpful for holding. 

Stool softeners. I was afraid to stop them lol 

Meals ready in the freezer were a god send or we would not have eaten. Our hospital even sends you home with a lasagna. 

Burp cloths. We had the old school cloth diapers and they were great. There is just a lot to wipe lol 

be prepared to let stuff go. The dishes. The vacuuming. Everything. 

If if you have pets, new or very exciting toys to occupy them. Mom and dad are suddenly way busier. We did (and will do) lots of meals in treat dispensing toys to occupy the pup. We will also probably line up people to walk her some that first little bit, weather permitting. 

mecoats

Frozen meals
velcro swaddles
zip up sleepers (who wants to deal with buttons in the middle of the night) 
Swing/bouncer

mecoats

Also if breastfeeding, large water bottle to keep hydrated, and have a snack basket in the rooms where you will be nursing. 

ale9687

The boppy lounger pillow. I would bring it around the house and it was always a cozy spot to put baby down. Also the bum brush to put diaper cream on. It may be just me but diaper rash cream is so messy and with the brush you don’t have to get it on your fingers. It’s silicone so it just wipes clean with a wipe. 

If youre having a boy who’ll be circumcised Vaseline. You’ll want to glob it in the diaper and rub it all around to help protect his healing part, but it also makes poop slide right off their bottoms, less wiping with wipes which can irritate their skin. 

Stac928

We are also believers in the bum brush diaper creme applicator. I keep travel size one in the diaper bag too. 

CapricaAndrea

Honestly, even looking through this list I would disagree with some of them. For example, my kid hated swaddles of any kind so they were useless for us. He wasn't a spitter at all so our burp clothes went unused. And he was born too big for newborn sized clothing so we didn't need that either. 

My main recommendation for anything is not to get too many of an item. Like, sure, get one swaddle and get 2 or 3 newborn sized outfits. Once baby arrives, if you find them useful you can always get more. And if not, then it's not a big waste.

Get an Amazon Prime account if you don't already have one and you can order things from your phone while you're trapped under a nursing baby (or enlist someone else to get things for you in the first few days if you trust them to get the correct things). 

A nursing pillow was definitely a super handy thing, but it's personal preference for which one you'll like. I had a Jolly Jumper one (similar to Boppy) that I still use with my toddler. I liked it. But my friend has a My Brest Friend which has a waist strap and a little storage pocket and seeing her use that one convinced me to try it for this baby. Another friend used one that was less curved than the Boppy (more of a boomerang shape) and loved it because she mostly nursed in the football-hold instead of cradle or crossover like I did. 

Stac928

We also didn't use the swaddlers at all.  I have them, I'll try them again but they weren't all that successful for us.

One of my biggest suggestions is buy second hand if you can or borrow to try things.  Then you can try things out without busting the bank.  We have a couple second hand stores for babies close buy and I watch for the big sales done by churches and organizations.  Facebook marketplace has also been helpful.  Most babies outgrow things waaaaay faster than they wear out.  Save your money!  And if you have something they don't love, you didn't spend a fortune on it. 

cpk3535

I never really did swaddlers either, and my daughter was too tall for NB already when she was born.  I agree, have a few of these items and test to see what baby fits/likes.

I don’t know if you’ll need these straight from the hospital, but I would grab a baby manicure set and the little mits to cover their hands to protect them from scratching themselves.  

Spartanrd4

My DD loved the boppy lounger pillow- we had her laying on that on the couch all the time. Second the bum bum brush. My DD needed to be swaddled to go to sleep and they were a life saver for us, I liked the Halo ones with the Velcro. The nose Frida is a must to suck out stuffy noses and butt paste is the best diaper cream we used. 

For a sound machine we used the baby shusher and I liked it that it was very portable- the baby photographer we use uses it for her newborn sessions and it is so calming. Baby wearing I liked the ergo 360 and we are still using it with my toddler in the back carry position. 

k_mama91

A suggestion to avoid wasting money is not untagging and washing every single item of clothing or gear. Wash a few things in each size and return what you don’t end up using. 

McKBaby

I never used a nursing pillow for DS, but used a Boppy religiously for DD.  So take that for what it's worth.  

Take all the pads, mesh undies, dermaplast, witch hazel pads, etc from the hospital.  

If you're BF get yourself a good nipple cream for the sore, cracked nips. I did not like the Lansinoh or Media nipple creams (and similar brands).  It's so thick and has a funny smell to me. Instead I stocked up on the Earth Mama Angel Baby Nipple Balm. Has a much better consistency/smell.  I also used frozen nipple pads for the early days of nips feeling like they were on fire (happened with both kids - be prepared!). 

I agree with @mecoats about the zip up sleepers (Gap used to have a good selection) because button/snaps in the MOTN are the devil!

We used the Halo sleep sack/swaddlers.  Worked for us.  My kids didn't LOVE to be swaddled, but you can tighten the velco around the torso which helps with the "snuggle" feeling.  

The A+A muslin swaddlers are so versatile. I had about 15 of them and used them 101 different ways ... nursing covers, car seat covers, regular blankets, emergency diaper change mat, etc.  I always buy these for pregnant friends.  

I couldn't have survived the first few months with DD without the RnP, but I know those are a no no now.  

I tried every organic/natural diaper cream on the market, but the kind that always worked best for us was the original Desitin in the purple packaging.  Cleared up every diaper rash in 24 hours or less.  

My last bit of advice ... don't get used to matching baby socks.  Pairs of socks never seem to stay together for very long.  

bookworm492

Question for repeat moms: if I'm going back to work part time after 6 weeks off then full time 2 wks later,  and formula feeding at that point, is it worth pumping for those 6 wks I'm off? Honestly I'm happy to start with the  bottle right away so both baby and dad are comfortable feeding from it once I return to work. But I'm not sure 6 wks is worth trying to build up a small stash,  only to establish a supply that I then cut off fairly soon later.  And if I do this,  should I just get that hand held pump? Thoughts?

cwalks

I went back to work at 6 weeks with my first and did pump and bottle feed the entire time up til work, then continued pumping at work for 8 months. I ended up having a good stash, and who knows, maybe you will establish a routine where you want to continue pumping? Of course if it becomes stressful, Fed is best. 

bookworm492

@cwalks I'm really not interested in pumping at work at this point as I've got a long commute that's on public transportation and lugging even more back and forth isn't really something I'm looking to add to an already stressful plate. 

cwalks

Aww gotcha, well maybe try at home and have it for a rainy day! I think you can freeze up to 4 months! It’s whatever is comfortable for you!!!! 

k_mama91

@bookworm492 Honestly I would just go to the bottle off the bat. I didn’t have luck BF last time so I can’t say for sure but it seems that getting the hang of feeding and pumping takes some time and if you’re only off for 6 weeks and not wanting to pump at work it may not be worth it to have that added stress. I would just enjoy my baby and time bonding as a new family. 

ale9687

@bookworm492 I echo what k_mama91 said. If you’re plan isn’t pumping long term i’d Go to bottles and formula from the start. There may need some adjusting done w what kind of bottles and formula you use and I think it’ll be less stressful if you’re just working through that and not adding pumping into the mix. 

bookworm492

Thank you for your input! We do plan on having a few different bottles to test out as well as formulas.   I really want to make sure my husband is really confident for when I return to work!

Growing up my mom was unable to breastfeed for reasons to be honest I'm unsure of.  So I was formula fed from day 1 and after reading lots about it I feel totally comfortable with this decision. I know I'll miss out on some level of bonding,  but I feel like maintaining my mental health and reducing stress is probably better for our kid overall! Every situation is different and our family is kind of unique with my return to work and dad's staying home.

jandawg

Thank you repeat mom's for this list! Lots of good insight here. I'm ready to start filling the deep freeze (still need to buy a deep freeze) and look into this bum brush.

rjgmcmanus

Second what @jandawg said. This is all so good! Taking a look at my list and making a few revisions accordingly. Also, @k_mama91, honestly, I never would've even thought about the tags thing, so thanks for that! I've been obsessively washing everything I've received so far. All clothes from here on out, washing when I KNOW he is going to use them. Returning and getting money back for what we don't use.

KTZ17

I know some people swear by it, but just a warning to FTMs that the baby detergent Dreft is scented, and while it smells nice, I avoided it in case my daughter’s skin was sensitive to scented things.  I’ve always used the Tide free and gentle I think it’s called.

ale9687

@ktz17 I always hated the smell of it too. I use seventh generation, it’s another free and clear and does a pretty good job of cleaning tough stains. 

ktmaesim

Maybe once were all we’re all close to due dates we can all share our lists to compare! I just feel like I’m missing stuff and I’m worried lol

Stac928

@KTZ17 we also don't use Dreft.  We use All Free & Clear per the ped's recommendation because of some contact eczema early on.  We also do a second rinse on DS's clothes.  Dreft smells lovely....but that means it is scented lol

Spartanrd4

I also just use the free and clear tide....as baby gets older I feel like their skin is less sensitive and you could even use regular detergent after awhile if you don't want to buy 2 different kinds of detergent. 

McKBaby

Yes we use free & clear detergent also (never used Dreft). Usually Honest Co (liquid not the tabs) or Seventh Generation. 

CapricaAndrea

@Spartanrd4 I avoided buying 2 kinds of detergent by just doing all of our laundry in the Ivory Snow detergent  

nothingbuttherain

Ha, guess I'm a slacker. I used regular detergent from the start with DS. Neither DH nor I have any skin sensitivity issues, and fortunately neither did he. Also my best advice is buy tons of Oxiclean. We went through so much of it as a result of newborn blowouts. DH saved several outfits that I thought were absolutely ruined by covering them in a paste of Oxiclean for a day or two before washing. 

Same as @CapricaAndrea on the newborn clothes: DH (at 8lb 13oz) was only able to wear those for maybe a week and fit into 0-3 month ones at the hospital. Some people can use newborn (or even preemie) clothes, but not everyone! 

Spartanrd4

Another good homemade solution to get out blowout stains is baking soda mixed with hydrogen peroxide, make it into a paste and then put on stain and let sit on overnight. I saved so many clothes I thought were done for....but I have thrown out a few things that just weren't even worth the effort to clean 😬

ashorkey

We use All Free & Clear. Our daughter has sensitive skin and has broken out with other "clear brands" It sucks for stains, but she's fine with Clorox 2 Free & Clear.

@Spartanrd4 Do you keep your homemade mix pre-mixed, or do you mix up a small batch for each use? I've tried to make some in the past and it didn't turn out. 

Spartanrd4

@ashorkey I just make a small batch when I need to use it. 

ashorkey

@Spartanrd4 maybe that was my issue. The recipe I followed was for a big batch and it got all clumpy on me. 

mrszoobear

STM+ how many baby bottles do I really need?

Stac928

@mrszoobear in hindsight I would have not gotten any 4 ounce bottles. By the time we used bottles we were past 4 ounces pretty fast. I think we have 10ish bottles. 

Spartanrd4

@mrszoobear I had 6 5 oz bottles so I didn't have to constantly wash bottles all the time. The size of the bottles you need depends on if you breastfeed or formula feed. Formula you need to give more volume for feeds where for DD she never needed more than 5 oz at a time and that was when she was older and drank less often because she was eating solid foods. I had gotten some bigger bottles (9 oz) but took them back. 

ashorkey

@mrszoobear I think we had 4? small bottles. We never got / needed larger bottles because I breastfed / pumped the entire time so we didn't need the more volume. We would send 1 bottle to daycare and keep the rest at home for rotation. our daycare washes bottles between feedings so we don't have to worry about bringing lots of prepared bottles. I mostly nursed when we were together so we barely used bottles other than day care. I wouldn't stock up on 1 kind either because the baby not respond well to that type. 

ale9687

@mrszoobear I’ll prob get judged but I have about 20-30 bottles hahah. DS was in daycare starting 12 weeks and I did NOT wash bottles every day. I did have them soak in warm soapy water every day though and then I would do a bulk clean. I was commuting 2hrs at least each way to work and my energy level was low.