Partner Rants and Raves

ieles2531

What has your partner been doing (or not doing) that makes you happy? Mad?

Y’all. My H has take DD out by himself MAYBE 5 times in the 4.5 years of her life. She said she wanted Olive Garden for dinner...he got her dressed (we were swimming) and took her himself without me even saying I didn’t want to go. 😀😀😀 hopefully he remembers my cheese ravioli!

pirateduck

I complained about the filthy state of the house (something I do on a regular basis that never results in any help with cleaning).  The next day I was cleaning in the kitchen and my husband actually started helping, unasked.  It's a pregnancy miracle!

shamrocandroll

I mentioned this is symptoms, but my nausea kicked in this morning.  I reamed MH for the underside of the toilet seat not being super clean.  If I have to be sick, that thing better be sparkling clean every day!  But he redeemed himself by making me lunch.  He also offered to make me coffee, but I didn't want any this morning.    

babyodo

MH started a new career in mid-May (around the time we started TTC) and has to be up for work at 3:15am. By the time he gets home from work, he's absolutely exhausted and takes, like, a 3 hour nap. Sometimes it's longer and so I just tell him to go to bed. It's frustrating, because that leaves me to be the one to cook dinner and clean the house. I couldn't tell you the last time he washed the dishes or swept the floors (with four dogs, it's an almost-daily task) or folded the laundry. Mind you, I am full-time active duty military, in grad school and working 11 hours per week at my internship. And I'm pregnant. 

I have a feeling we need to have a talk soon. I hate it, because it makes me feel naggy. I'm not his mother. I just wish he was more observant of the imbalance here. And let me get this straight, he's not lazy, he's just so tired that he's oblivious. 

rachelg777

@yodamoma I'm sorry, I definitely feel your pain. My H is a night owl, not because he's lazy, his internal clock just doesn't work well for early mornings. Anyway, he does his best work (including work and school work) at night. It drives me crazy because when he gets up early he "has" to nap and he has such a hard time getting up with DS so I'm pretty much always the one to do it. Anyway, I'm sorry. I completely get your frustration.

shamrocandroll

@yodamama One of the bright sides of being KU and having a baby is it forces you to have those hard conversations.  MH really stepped up when he saw how completely miserable I was during my first pregnancy.  Once the baby arrived, we had some big fights over whose turn it was to do what chores, and any imbalances either of us perceived.  We finally decided to assign daily chores, and now after DS goes to bed, we both have to do our chores until they are done.  If one person finishes way before the other, they go help the other person finish.  My chore is laundry (actually putting it away and not just leaving it in the basket, hah) and his is kitchen cleanup.  We both hate both of those chores, but things have been far more peaceful since we decided on that compromise.  

JStill0603

MH has yet to say anything at all to me about being pregnant since I told him and he said he didn’t want another kid.... I hope he says something soon otherwise I’m gonna feel real awkward bringing it up again.... 

rachelg777

@JStill0603 Oh no... I'm sorry. I hope it just takes him a little time to come around to the idea. Hugs.

mdfarmchick

@JStill0603 I’m sorry he’s not communicating with you. I hope he uses his time to think to come around to the idea of another baby. 

JStill0603

rachelg777 said:

@JStill0603 Oh no... I'm sorry. I hope it just takes him a little time to come around to the idea. Hugs.

I think he will come around. He has said he wanted another once ever since DS was born and we both always planned on 2 more after we were married (SS is 9 and has always lived with us). I think he was just shocked as it took us a little longer to settle in to life as a family of 4 and I felt like things (like our sex life and going out on dates and making some much needed home improvements) were just starting to become more “normal” again since DS is 3.5. The idea of being a family of 5 is admittedly a little scary. And it’s not easy to talk about it when we are trying to keep the news from SS and DS so they don’t leak to out to anyone we don’t want to know yet. 

mdfarmchick

Rave: Since we found out yesterday evening, MH made me whatever I wanted for dinner and told me to relax in bed for a while since the exhaustion hit. I’m sure I’ll have a random rant soon though. 

ruby696

MH had dinner ready when I got home last night. I walked in the door, smelled it, and decided I'd rather have a burrito - even though I'd told him what to make. He went out and got burritos. 😁

mdfarmchick

@ruby696 and so it begins lol

bananapanda

@JStill0603 sorry you are going through this without his support yet  

rave: he worked all weekend on making a backyard playground for DD which will hopefully keep her entertained outside for quite some time while I can sit on my butt and watch her lol he also did most of the work on dinner last night AND cleaned up the kitchen while I put DD to bed

rant: I just bought a 12 pack of grape soda since I love my soda but trying to cut back on caffeine, and he keeps stealing them! lol

pirateduck

@bananapanda some time ago I started drinking seltzer instead of soda (mostly) and have discovered that I can get soda flavored seltzer (cola, dr. pepper, etc.)  It's not the same, but I'm trying to trick myself into thinking it is.  I'm hoping I can get some sort of placebo effect pick me up!

m6agua

@bananapanda @pirateduck I was going to suggest Grape Waterloo, I've heard it is good. I don't like grape flavor so I haven't tried it. I've been doing Cola Lacroix with a small amount of cherry juice. I've also discovered Live Kombucha in Root Beer, Doctor, and Cola flavors. Yum!

@yodamama @rachelg777 Solidarity! DH is such a night owl so he is not productive and sleeps in, in the mornings. Although he is not productive at night either. He gets home from work in the evenings and wants to unwind and sits on the couch all night. We have had several conversations over the last 3 years about division of labor and our perceptions on what we do and the other does/doesn't do. It is getting better, but not there yet. I've also learned that my love language is acts of service, now that he knows that, he makes more effort to help me out around the house. His is physical touch so I am making more of an effort there as well.

newmomtx06

@yodamama I second @shamrocandroll on the idea of assigning tasks. We have to do that around here to keep the peace. I think we both feel better knowing we have a signed tasks and that we are both doing work.

rave: DH brought me home a lot of fruits last night since I’ve been craving them. He has also cleaned out the fridge since meat is making me sick. 

shamrocandroll

@pirateduck I looooove seltzer.  I've been drinking it since I was a kid (before it was trendy, haha).  I can't drink soda anymore because I'm so used to seltzer.  It's way too sweet.  Spindrift is the maximum amount of sweet I can handle now.  It's seltzer with just a tiny bit of fresh squeezed fruit juice.  It's 13 calories per can and feels like a little bit of a treat. 

babyodo

@shamrocandroll I'm right there with you. Been drinking seltzer for years and years. Unless I'm drinking it as a mixer, I rarely have soda. It's way, way too sweet to me. Back in 2009, I flew to Seattle and my sister picked me up from the airport. I was thirsty and asked for a sip of her soda. I was like, "Blegh, is this some new kind of root beer or something?" and she was like, "No, sis, that's Coke." LOL

shamrocandroll

@yodamama (I keep tagging you as ttcbabyodo, haha) LMAO at "is this some new kind of root beer" 

shanana_3

@yodamama oh man, that’s a lot. I agree I think a conversation sooner rather than later (only because you’re going to possible start feeling worse with symptoms and don’t want to be preggo hormonal overload lol)

So far, I’m pretty happy with hubs, he took over bath time today which is great because with two, it’s a constant battle to keep the water in the tub, soap out of the eyes, and for whatever reason, shower steam really bothers me when I’m preggo. So I was happy he took that over tonight. 

pirateduck

My husband now gets to drink the WHOLE pot of coffee.

I hate that my husband cannot use a computer and I have to be his "secretary" sometimes.  He has my old computer (should have been sent to the dump years ago) which barely functions and freezes all the time and half the keyboard keys stick and it takes 10 times as long to do anything as it should.  Then he makes me use this terrible computer because he cannot figure out how to write a letter and attach it to an email and cannot figure out how to order something from Amazon (we have a prime account so it's all setup).  Ugh.  At least he is good at other things and built me a fence this summer for my animals and is taking care of getting and splitting and stacking firewood so we can heat the house etc.