PG after IF-September

jvk2012

We haven’t checked in in forever! How is everyone doing?

jvk2012

I’m struggling with anxiety that something has happened to baby. I don’t feel movement yet which I know is normal. I’m 16 weeks and felt it with DD at 17 weeks so still time but feeling anxious since last ultrasound/OB appt was at 13 weeks. Also now that everyone knows I feel anxiety that something bad will happen. I felt this way last time too but it’s tough. 

optimism3

@jvk2012 I relate completely. This window of time without movement and without the frequent ultrasounds is really hard. I feel the same way about the fact that everyone knows now. 

I have an early anatomy scan tomorrow (16 weeks 4 days) and haven’t been for an ultrasound in 3 weeks or more. I’m nervous for sure and just eager to get it done. 

I don’t have any words of wisdom unfortunately, but I totally relate. Did you have IF before DD? Just asking cause if so I’m curious if/when you stopped feeling anxious (if ever). I keep waiting for that...

jvk2012

@optimism3, yes we had IF before DD. This time around we used a frozen embryo we had from when we did IVF for her so this time was “easy”  compared to conceiving her. I think that’s why I’m surprised I still have IF feelings this time around. 

With DD once there was consistent movement I definitely felt less anxious overall. But still things like my baby shower brought some anxiety because of the “what ifs” it brought to mind. Once she was in my arms after birth was when I truly stopped being anxious about her getting here safely. 

Good luck with your anatomy scan today!

kiwi2628

@jvk2012 I feel similar. This one was so easy to get compared to DS so its weird to have IF feelings still around, but I still get so nervous that I havent really felt anything yet when I felt movement at 17 weeks with DS. I am hoping its just an anterior placenta or something but my next u/s cant come soon enough.

celticknotfire

I'm just happy to be done with the progesterone!  Between the PIO and suppositories my body is grateful to have a break.  The nerves and anxiety are still there but I expected that.  It makes me feel a lot better to know I'm not the only one dealing with this!

Swiftlet

@jvk2012 I’m so glad you posted this- I’ve had a weird setback where I’m suddenly worried something is wrong or I’ll miscarry late, even though the chances are exceedingly slim.

My morning sickness seems to be a bit worse lately even on my meds - I vomited for the first time in a while on Saturday and it was actually kind of comforting, heh. I have my 16 week US Wednesday so that will make me feel better but it’s hard going from the regular check ins at the fertility doc to these month long stretches of nothing! 

@optimism3 hope everything goes well today

@kiwi2628 hang in there! Hope you feel movement soon! 

@celticknotfire yay for no more progesterone supplementation! I remember how nice it was to finish the suppositories.

Sending you all positive vibes

noxacanthus

I'm 18 weeks and I still haven't felt movement. I keep telling myself that I'm a FTM (with some..extra padding) and some women don't feel it until 20 weeks or later. I did get to hear the heartbeat on Friday, but I still worry.

We didn't have any leftover embryos so I'll get the full experience again whenever it's time for kiddo #2. 

jvk2012

I'm glad I posted this and that I am not alone.  *hugs* to all of you and hopefully we'll all feel some movement soon to ease our minds.

optimism3

@jvk2012 - yes thanks for starting the thread. Good to heat feeling movement reduced the anxiety a little at least with your first. Hopefully that starts soon.

@kiwi2628 no movement here yet either. This is my first but I guess every pregnancy is different. Hopefully it kicks in soon for peace of mind.

@celticknotfire it was so great stopping the progesterone! By the end I was over it! 

@Swiftlet totally agree - the long stretches are such a change. Good luck tomorrow 🙌🏻

@noxacanthus FTM here too in the same boat! I’m expecting the movement to be slightly strange but at this point it’d be welcome.

Glad to have this thread too - I definitely think the IF does something to your mind on all this. I’m trying to double down and let this in as “real” now - told some people at work today and just accept that it’ll let me fully be present and enjoy this for as long as it’s here (hopefully until a safe delivery of course). My early anatomy was good yesterday and thankfully she moved and I could see the heartbeat within the first seconds which was immediately reassuring. 4 weeks to go until the next one but hoping this one eases my mind somewhat for a little while. 

Have a good day all! 

optimism3

Question for everyone - are there pregnancy related things you’re putting off/not doing if you hadn’t had the IF experience? 

I have a running list at this point probably - including buying anything for the baby, giving my sisters any real dates for a shower, buying more maternity clothes, looking at daycare options.... there’s more. 

Just wondering if anyone else is in this boat. Did anyone overcome a hesitancy to do any of this? 

jvk2012

@optimism3, I did all of those but each time I did something like that I would have a few days of increased anxiety and dread. I didn’t let it stop me but it did take some mental effort to overcome. I used to also recite some mantras like “Today I am pregnant.” which helped some. I also tried to say F You to IF and not let it take all of my joy. 

celticknotfire

@optimism3 I definitely delayed some things between IF and PGAL it really upped the anxiety.  But once I got closer to the 2nd trimester I allowed myself to accept it more.  I also used the same phrase as @jvk2012 "today I'm pregnant".  IF takes so much from you and I tried to put my foot down and refuse to allow it to take anymore.

Swiftlet

@optimism3 earlier on, yes, I felt like I was walking on eggshells. I’m more comfortable as the days pass and with each good scan. Everyone is different, though, and your feelings are legitimate and valid. Can you take little steps like starting daycare research, even if you don’t tour them yet? Or put one little thing on your registry? 

TennisLove30

I went through IF with my first and then had a MC in 2017. This baby was unexpected because I have severe PCOS and typically only ovulate 1-2 a year. IF/Loss brain is strong. I haven’t bought anything and probably won’t until after my anatomy scan next week. It’s terrifying. 

optimism3

Thanks ladies. I’m thinking of making a list and trying to tic off one thing at a time. Otherwise, I’ll reach a point where we’re super unprepared lol. It’s just nice to hear that others were/are in the same boat. 

jvk2012

I’m struggling. After our AS we found out the umbillical cord doesn’t connect to the center of the placenta but is off to the side so they worry he won’t get enough nutrients. He also has only 1 artery and 1 vein instead of 2 arteries and 1 vein in his umbilical cord which can also cause lack of growth.  Finally, he was supposed to have amniotic fluid in his stomach to show he is swallowing but he didn’t which could just be the timing of the scan or it could be a sign of a swallowing issue. We were told to follow up with MFM in 4 weeks for a consult and another ultrasound. 

All of this has sprung me back into some dark days. I am afraid baby won’t make it to birth or will be born far too early and have serious complications. I now don’t want to make plans for the nursery and things like that until at least we know more at the MFM appt in a month. It’s completely irrational but I feel like this is all because this pregnancy was “too easy” to achieve and was going too smoothly. I don’t think I will be able to let me
guard down until he is here and he is safe. 

Swiftlet

@jvk2012 I know I commented in the other thread but just wanted to offer you support here too since I'm a fellow IF sister.

I can completely understand the desire to hold off on doing more until you have more information. I'm sure some people would say to embrace being pregnant in the moment and keep charging ahead and maybe that's the right approach for some people. But I think I would feel the same way you do if I were in your shoes, down to the superstitious feelings, even if I knew it was irrational. I hope you know that your feelings and your reactions and your plans moving forward are all valid. I'm keeping you and baby in my thoughts and sincerely hope that everything works out to be OK

optimism3

@jvk2012 I commented on the other thread too, but totally hear you. Like @Swiftlet said I think your reluctance to plan is totally understandable (take it from someone having trouble planning even before the AS). I wouldn’t force yourself to do anything necessarily and would be extra kind to yourself. Pregnancy is a huge, emotional journey in itself - but when you add IF to it first, it’s just that much more. That being said, try to stay as positive as you can. I try to take my cue from the doctors and they obviously have a good plan in place for you and probably weren’t too thrown by these developments, so borrow from their calm if you can. I’ve read some crazy stories on these boards of pregnancies with all sorts of complications that turned out just fine. I also think it’s amazing how they can ID things like this now and plan around them. Our moms probably had no idea when these issues arose and I’d bet plenty of them had babies in these circumstances that turned out fine and they never knew there was an issue.

So is this something they generally just monitor and then induce early if needed? 

jvk2012

@Swiftlet and @optimism3,  thanks for the support. From my research it seems they do just do more frequent ultrasounds to monitor growth and induce or do a c-section if it’s determined baby would be better off on the outside. I have heard from a few people in a variety of forums who had either marginal cord attachment or single umbilical artery and generally had no major issues. It just worries me that I have more than one thing going on. 

optimism3

@jvk2012 I get it. It’s weird, I don’t think I even knew they would be swallowing right now. And how frustrating that that could be just because of the timing. What’s your SO’s take on all this? 

jvk2012

@optimism3, his first reaction was super doom and gloom and I had to explain best I could what the nurse told me over the phone. Then he relaxed a bit. But he also would prefer to just not think about it at all until he is forced to. I also told him I think it’s easier for him to detach a bit from the news because it is not physically happening inside his body. 

optimism3

@jvk2012 sounds familiar lol. Men sometimes do a better job compartmentalizing I think - or at least seem to. I don’t have many other great insights or any, but do you have any specific plans for how to cope with the wait till the next US? 

jvk2012

@optimism3, I had my meltdown so now it’s time to look forward. That was how I handled every tough news/negative cycle with IF too. I know I’ll have bumps in the road but focusing on my daughter and work will hopefully help time pass quickly until my next ultrasound. 

optimism3

Keep us updated @jvk2012. That’s one thing about IF - gives you a lot of practice in how to wait for appointments while keeping your sanity somehow