STM+ September Discussion

stassischroeder

Feel free to follow the prompts or not... 

EDD/Weeks + Days:

How old is/are your other kid(s)?

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing?

What are you looking forward regarding adding to your family?

What concerns do you have regarding adding to your family?

So far, is this pregnancy the same or different from your previous pregnancy(ies)?

stassischroeder

EDD/Weeks + Days: 3/14 * 12+3

How old is/are your other kid(s)? 17 months tomorrow  

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? he's good! He's generally a month or two behind on milestones, but he started saying "nana" or "bananananana" in addition to his other pseudo words lol. He's also gotten a little better with baths - we just have to be quick about it. AND he's actually slept in a few days this month - like on Sunday morning he slept until 10am (went to bed at 7:30pm)    

What are you looking forward regarding adding to your family? All the feels, giving DS a sibling because he LOVES other kids. Every time he sees another kid he wants to follow them around constantly. 

What concerns do you have regarding adding to your family? Like HOW???? How do you handle two littles at once??? I've been stressing myself out in the mornings wondering how the heck I'll get a newborn and a two year old going in the mornings by myself because DH leaves for work at 5:30am. I know everyone says you figure it out, but I'd like instructions, please 

So far, is this pregnancy the same or different from your previous pregnancy(ies)? Today's irrational thought: I'm nervous because my uterus isn't as obvious as it was last time at this point. Last time it was an obvious hard ball low in my pelvis, this time I can barely feel it externally. The common sense explanation is that I'm more flubby around the middle this time, so of course it's not going to be obvious. But, of course, I'm nervous that the baby stopped growing or something. Someone please tell me I'm stupid. 

Also, NIPT and NT scan tomorrow   

varimama

EDD/Weeks + Days: 3/8 13+2

How old is/are your other kid(s)? 2.5 as of yesterday 😭

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? He’s doing good, he’s got so much energy and I’m still dragging so it’s hard. We’re also transitioning out of naps with me in bed to naps in his own crib and it was going well until yesterday when he pretty much refused to go to sleep. 

What are you looking forward regarding adding to your family? I love babies and love seeing sibling relationships so I hope they have a good one! 

What concerns do you have regarding adding to your family? Well lately when we try to talk to DS about the baby he gets upset and says no baby so sometimes I’m like oh god did we just make a huge mistake? Maybe he was meant to be an only child and we just screwed that up for him. Also idk how I’m going to handle two at once... DH is gone from 5:30-6 M-F so it’s a lot of time and I’m exhausted by 5 with one kid so...

So far, is this pregnancy the same or different from your previous pregnancy(ies)? So far feels pretty similar except my nausea started much later last time so the fact that I still have nausea and it’s been for an extra 3 weeks is really wearing me down! 

varimama

@stassischroeder I too would like that guide written down for me! I hope your scan and blood draw go well and give you some relief! Do you have a home Doppler? I got one and am way less anxious bc I can just check on the heartbeat every few nights! 

stassischroeder

@varimama I totally understand the anxiety regarding your DS's current feelings about the baby. But, in reality, I truly believe that having siblings is good for children. There will be hard parts, but it will add so many positive things to his life. I think it's natural for him to have an both positive and negative feelings about it (heck, I do too!). And thanks! I don't have a doppler, but renting or buying one is sure sounding more and more appealing!

thescarletmom

EDD/Weeks + Days: 3/27 * 10w4d

How old is/are your other kid(s)? DS turned 3 in July

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? He's definitely caught on to the fact that something is changing in the family dynamic. He has always been a mama's boy, but recently it's like x10. Since I'm so nauseated, it's really hard for me to carry around ~40 lbs of wiggly toddler. This has been the source of many major meltdowns when he asks me to pick him up and I tell him I can't, or that he needs to ask DH. Anytime I'm sitting anywhere he's crawling all over me saying he loves me so much, which is so sweet but his little knees and elbows are vicious.

What are you looking forward to regarding adding to your family? I grew up with 6 siblings, so I've always known I wanted my own children to have siblings. DS looooves babies too, so I can't wait to see him with his baby brother. 

What concerns do you have regarding adding to your family? Same concerns every STM has... how will I divide my time, my love, and my energy between them? How will I manage the sleepless newborn nights when my toddler will be bright-eyed and bushy tailed at the asscrack of dawn? I definitely napped when DS napped, but can't very well do that with two.

So far, is this pregnancy the same or different from your previous pregnancy(ies)? So far, incredibly similar! So tired, so nauseated, my nipples might as well have been pierced for all the pain they're causing me. 

jenEP

EDD/Weeks + Days: 13+2, 3/9

How old is/are your other kid(s)? 17 months and 3.75 years

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? Good. DD2 is going through a super whinny stage so that's fun. I'm loving this age with DD1-- she starts preschool next week and just learned to ride a bike. I feel like she grew up overnight. She's so excited about having another baby.

What are you looking forward regarding adding to your family? To never be pregnant again. Haha. But really, to finally feel complete. I didn't feel done have DD2. 

What concerns do you have regarding adding to your family? Space. We have a three bedroom house and the rooms are really close together. I can't decide if I should get the girls to share a room before baby comes or wait until baby is a few months old. I told DH that my one home improvement project before baby is to get solid-core doors and lots of rugs with rug pads put down to help with noise transfer. 

So far, is this pregnancy the same or different from your previous pregnancy(ies)? Similar so far, with slightly more sickness that the other two. It's finally letting up. I am showing way earlier though.

thescarletmom

@varimama Everybody talks about the terrible twos, but honestly DS has become just the coolest little person in the last 6-9 months. I have loved this stage! His energy level has definitely been wearing me down though. And I wouldn't worry about him seeming to feel negatively about the baby. My DS also goes back and forth between being really excited and not wanting to share mommy. We got him this book called "The Baby Tree" at the library and he's really loved it and wants to read it at bedtime every night, and he's seemed a lot more relaxed and comfortable with the idea of the new baby since we got it. I definitely recommend it if you're looking for a sweet, age-appropriate way to answers your child's questions about baby (if he has any).

@stassischroeder my DS also does not like sleeping in, makes me seriously side-eye the kid sometimes. I feel you though. Logically, I know I'll figure it out... but I do NOT wing things, so not having a plan or even a scrap of an idea of how life is going to go is not my favorite. I just keep telling myself it'll be worth it! I second getting a doppler for piece of mind too.

silverhope

@varimama same on DH being gone 5:30-6 usually. I practically throw DS at him
when he gets home. And whenever he is late 30 min feels like 2 hours.

 @stassischroeder I couldn’t even find my uterus last pregnancy. Don’t let that stress you out! I hope the scan tomorrow helps you feel reassured for a long while so you don’t even want to check your uterus 

EDD/Weeks + Days: 3/18, 11w6d

How old is/are your other kid(s)? 16 months

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? He’s the cutest. He’s so funny now. He also has started telling us via a hand symbol when he needs to go number 2 so we take him to the toilet so he can go in the potty. I need to buy him a mini potty bc it’s annoying to hold him the whole time and bc he has some false alarms when he’s blocked up (back and forth and back and forth until he can finally go). But I’m so proud of him for telling us! 

What are you looking forward regarding adding to your family? DS having a built-in friend

What concerns do you have regarding adding to your family? I hated the newborn stage so I expect to be a miserable person and bad mom to DS1 during the first 5 months of baby 2’s life. 

So far, is this pregnancy the same or different from your previous pregnancy(ies)? Nausea started the same time but it’s lasting longer and is worse this time, which has been fun while taking care of a toddler. 

stassischroeder

silverhope said:

*SNIP*

1. How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? He’s the cutest. He’s so funny now. He also has started telling us via a hand symbol when he needs to go number 2 so we take him to the toilet so he can go in the potty. I need to buy him a mini potty bc it’s annoying to hold him the whole time and bc he has some false alarms when he’s blocked up (back and forth and back and forth until he can finally go). But I’m so proud of him for telling us! 


2. What concerns do you have regarding adding to your family? I hated the newborn stage so I expect to be a miserable person and bad mom to DS1 during the first 5 months of baby 2’s life. 

1. WHAT?!?!?! Potty training a 16mo boy???? I'm pretty sure my DS will be a bear to potty train, and won't be ready for a long while. He's still perfectly happy to hang out in a dirty diaper. 

2. YUP. Hardcore relate. 

EmilyLove25

@silverhope Can’t believe you addressed potty training before 2. Bless you! Glad it sounds like it is going well!

@stassischroeder 10 AM?!?!? DS and DD1 were already ready for lunch by that time haha. Also for you and @varimama, you are right that you will just figure it out. So helpful? Right haha. My husband travels for work, so I solo parent (and work full time, ewwwww) M-Thursday most weeks. At the end of the day—and trust me, I know this sounds naïve—caring for a newborn is moderately black and white. I’m not saying it’s easy, but you know what you have to do, and let's not forget how much they sleep. So I focused a lot of those early months on my older kid and making sure she was engaged and happy, and DS was just along for the ride---which worked great for a newborn! I bought strollers/carriers that I knew would work for us so DD and I could still have a fun, busy life. Also when I was pregnant with DS, I made an “at home craft kit” (basically from the Busy Toddler website), so I had all sorts of crafting supplies on hand at all times. That way, if DD ever seemed bored because we were stuck at home doing newborn things or I was simply too exhausted to go out, I could quickly whip up a crafting project and we could do it together. So much more manageable than I thought! I think planning is so key to it and finding resources now that you can use when your LO arrives. I also think the fact that you are worried about it is a sign that you are going to rock at parenting 2 kids!

@hellobabys Oh yes, I said good bye to any naps when my second arrived haha.

@jenEP Here we are again, on the same page! I too can’t wait to feel complete (and to not be pregnant—despite usually loving it).

_____

 EDD/Weeks + Days: 12 weeks and 5 days/March 12th

How old is/are your other kid(s)? DS is 20 months and DD will be 4 this month!

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? Both are thriving. DD started preschool again last week, and she loves it. I am happy it resumed because it makes her so happy and helps give her structure.

What are you looking forward regarding adding to your family? Like @jenEP said, feeling complete… but so, so many things. I can acutely picture the things that will blow (like legit, how will I handle nighttime alone before LO is weaned?), but I also have a deep sense of how awesome it will feel to have our complete family unit. I can’t wait for vacations, summer, holidays, family gatherings.

What concerns do you have regarding adding to your family? My biggest concern now is working… so much of me thinks about wanting to be a SAHM, but money is nice, and I particularly like my own money. Oh and on a related note, buying a minivan!

So far, is this pregnancy the same or different from your previous pregnancy(ies)? Hmm… it’s sort of between the two. So maybe I am having a hermaphrodite? I definitely feel more run down, but who knows what is causing that!

 

treetop19

@stassischoreder and @hellobabys, I'm worried about handling 2 little ones at once, too! an instruction manual would be nice.
@emilylove25, a crafting kit sounds like a great idea. I know keeping DS busy will be my main concern once this LO comes along, since he tends to get into mischief if he isn't given something to do.

EDD/Weeks + Days: 12w6d, EDD March 10

How old is/are your other kid(s)? DD is 13, DS is 3.5

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? DD is busy with school and sports, so she's definitely not keen on helping around the house anymore.  She pretty much just wants to crash when she gets home.  Lately she has us worried over things like who she's hanging out with, the fact that she's giving up too easy in sports, ect, ect... ah, the lovely teen years.  I have a feeling it only gets rockier from here.  though I do think we are stricter with her just because she's the firstborn.  DS keeps us all on our toes by creating random mischief.  It got quiet the other day, and there he was in the bathtub, squirting toothpaste all over and 'painting' it on the walls of the tub and all over his clothes.   

What are you looking forward regarding adding to your family?  more craziness.  I grew up with 3 siblings, and I got used to noise and chaos.  I missed that when I moved out on my own.  also, like @jenEP and @emilylove25, feeling like my family is complete.

What concerns do you have regarding adding to your family? I definitely worry about lack of sleep, lack of space, and just generally 'how the heck will I do it.'

So far, is this pregnancy the same or different from your previous pregnancy(ies)? this pregnancy has been pretty similar to my pregnancy with DS - though nausea lasted a couple extra weeks this time around.   I am definitely showing much earlier than I did with DD.. I'm already semi-showing right now, and with DD, it took until I was 5 months along. even then, some of my coworkers still thought I was 'getting fat' and not pregnant.  lol.  

jenEP

@EmilyLove25 I can't wait to get my minivan! I think we're going to go with the Honda Odyssey. What van are you going to get? We actually went to look on Sunday, but they weren't open yet. DH works a lot and travels as well-- solo parenting is hard. I work 4 days/week, which feels like a good balance. I don't think I could stay at home every day. 

silverhope

@stassischroeder @EmilyLove25 DS has no clue that pee should also go in the potty  And we weren’t actively trying to potty train him, we just wanted him to have a gesture for going number 2. I expected him to use it post-potty, but since he’s telling us pre- or mid-potty, we’re seeing how it goes. We don’t wanna push him so I’m not even trying to get him to pee in the potty right now. But it would be cool if he could get half the battle figured out. We’ll see.

@emilylove25 love the craft kit idea! 

mommytimesfour

My best advice on handling multiple kids is to lower your expectations a lot in the beginning! Change your mindset to survival mode and don’t sweat the small stuff like too much TV or too many happy meals for dinner for the toddler. As long as everyone’s happy and healthy that’s all that really matters. Once you find your groove things get easier and you don’t remember what life was like with one kid. 

EDD/Weeks + Days: 3/26 10+5

How old is/are your other kid(s)? 8, 6, and my baby just turned 3 on Saturday!

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? We’re settling into our hectic back to school/extra curricular activities routine and everyone is extra tired but doing well. The threenager attitude is hitting hardcore too! Lol. 

What are you looking forward regarding adding to your family? I love the tiny baby stage and seeing my kids fall in love with their little siblings is absolutely priceless. 

What concerns do you have regarding adding to your family? Honestly, I have no idea how I’ll juggle 4 kids’ needs. I’m crossing my fingers for a laid back baby who won’t mind being dragged along for school pick ups, sports, and living in a loud chaotic house 😜. 

So far, is this pregnancy the same or different from your previous pregnancy(ies)? This has been my easiest pregnancy so far. I’ve had very minimal nausea. I’m tired but nothing I can’t manage. 

pigsforpoland

EDD/Weeks + Days: 
3/2 - 14 weeks and 1 day

How old is/are your other kid(s)?
5.5 and 19 months 

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing?
Hoooooooboy it’s been a big couple of weeks around here! My oldest just started kindergarten, which she is loving, but I think the extra anxiety/stimulation plus having to hold it all together for a full day at school is making her a super bear at home. And the little one also just started daycare two days a week and completely hates it (which we anticipated, but still...). She’s also going through some kind of developmental shift or sleep regression so we’re all sleepy and grouchy. Hoping everyone settles into the new routine in the next few weeks. 

What are you looking forward regarding adding to your family?
I always wanted more siblings as a kid, and after we had such a difficult time conceiving my second I was afraid to even hope for a third. So this is a super amazing surprise. And the fact that it’s another girl is just incredible, so excited for my girls to grow up with each other.

What concerns do you have regarding adding to your family?
Space! We have like 2.5 bedrooms, all basically on top of each other. The .5 bedroom doesn’t have a closet and currently doubles as an office (which we use at least weekly for working from home) and a guest room (frequently occupied by my mom, who isn’t in very good health and often needs help). We thought by the time we had a third baby (if we ever did!) that we’d be in a position to refinance and put on an addition or finish our massive attic. So now we’re debating ways to fit three girls in our current kids’ room (doable but really tight, and it will mean any playroom-type activity lives in my living room), OR refinishing our room (which is bigger but in rough shape) and swapping with the kids.

Also, work is a big question mark! My husband works in the city, which is a 90 minute commute each way, so he’s out of the house usually 12-13 hours a day, which leaves a lot of the kid juggling to me during the week. I have a 30 hr a week job that often takes more like 40-50 hours but is fairly flexible and can be done mostly remotely. I love what I do but have been feeling totally overwhelmed with juggling the two kids’ school stuff and activities while getting my work done, so I was really looking forward to having more childcare support this year with both kids covered a few days a week. Now I’m looking at trying to manage the same job with a baby at home, and babies become toddlers... we can’t really afford to have both younger kids in daycare, but we also can’t really afford for me to not work/I’m not sure I want to give up a job I’m passionate about. Lots to think about. 

Oh AND I am waffling big time about delivery and breastfeeding choices. I had a super easy unmedicated delivery with my first, on her due date. My second was 12 days late, I went into labor after an herbal induction while AT my post-dates ultrasound so wound up being stuck at a hospital instead of at my lovely birth center, had a super difficult labor followed by an urgent (I hesitate to say “emergency”) c-section. On the one hand I would love to try for a natural labor again with this last baby, but on the other hand I don’t know that I want to risk the trauma of an unexpected/dramatic delivery again. Also, I am so so behind the idea of breastfeeding and I would LOVE to breastfeed, and yet I keep having babies that Will. Not. Nurse. No matter what I do, or which specialists we see or which procedures we give them, etc. It has absolutely broken my heart twice now, and on the one hand I would so love to have that experience, but on the other hand, I might lose my sanity if we can’t do it again. 

Whoa, this is long, apparently I have a lot of worries this time around haha...


So far, is this pregnancy the same or different from your previous pregnancy(ies)? 
This one has been a lot like my first pregnancy! Got pregnant super easily/by surprise, was really sleepy but only moderately sick at the beginning, etc. With my second it took 2.5 years of concerted effort and a whole bunch of testing, etc. to get pregnant, and then I lost 10 pounds with severe morning sickness at the beginning. This one has had me super sleepy and a little extra cranky, but I only had maybe a month of real morning sickness. Mostly it’s different because I’m so conscious this is our last, so I’m trying to be really aware of every minute - and also my oldest daughter is so aware of the baby, so it’s been really fun to share with her.

mrsvp614

@stassischroeder Good luck with your NIPT/NT today!
@silverhope Impressive that potty talk is happening already! 

EDD/Weeks + Days: 13w +1d

How old is/are your other kid(s)? 2 yrs

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? He's so awesome! Although he doesn't like being told 'no,' he's really fun right now, and learning so much. 

What are you looking forward regarding adding to your family? I'm excited to see DS1 as a big brother, and I'm loving the idea of two boys, about 2.5 years apart. It'll be nice when DS2 is old enough for them to play together and entertain each other.

What concerns do you have regarding adding to your family? Same as @silverhope that the newborn stage was super hard for me. We always thought we wanted 2, but now we're questioning if our family will feel complete. Also paying for two in daycare is a major source of anxiety for us right now.

So far, is this pregnancy the same or different from your previous pregnancy(ies)? Both have been relatively easy, so I know I'm lucky. I've had more nausea this time around, which I'm guessing is because I can't sleep all day when I have a 2 year old to accommodate. 

stassischroeder

Just popping in quickly to say that the NT scan went perfectly 😊 measurement was 1.4 (yay!) and baby cooperated very well by giving us lots of great profile/neck shots. My son wasn’t at all cooperative during his NT scan, so it was a relief to have a cooperative LO this time! Genetic counselor said we should have NIPT results by next week. It all feels more real after seeing this kiddo wiggling around again   

I’ll be back to catch up and comment either tonight or tomorrow morning!

silverhope

@stassischroeder congrats on the NT results. I have mine tomorrow. 

Hope you get your NIPT back soon.

stac4056

EDD/Weeks + Days: March 1/ 14+3

How old is/are your other kid(s)? DD is 3.75 (4 in Nov.) DS is 20 months

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? Ebb and Flow! DD has usually been our more challenging one throughout her 2s and 3s, but she is in a sweet and helpful phase right now. DS is usually a simple and happy little guy, but he was inconsolable last night, hopefully just cutting canines and nothing more serious. Also just a little more fussy in general lately. 

What are you looking forward regarding adding to your family? I'm excited to be a family of five, embrace the chaos and have fun in everything we do...at least that's the idea anyway, hopefully it works out that way haha. 

What concerns do you have regarding adding to your family? Same as mentioned above, adding another person into the routine. Eh, finances, @MrsVP614 we will have a three month timeframe with three in daycare, fml, but then DD will start school. Hopefully before and after care isn't as brutal. And same as you @pigsforpoland on space concerns, we're in a two bedroom currently!!

So far, is this pregnancy the same or different from your previous pregnancy(yes)? I want to say this one is more similar to my pregnancy with DD, so I've convinced myself it's a girl. With DS, the fatigue was dark, and the angst toward everyone was max level. Still holding my breath that I don't get that same level of angst, but I think I'm past the fatigue timeframe. But also, all have been pretty mild overall so hard to say!!

@stassischroeder Glad NT went well!! And glad bath time is getting easier. I am also super not looking forward to potty training DS. Our old daycare pretty much did it for me with DD, seriously considering going back there just for that!!

@varimama DD is excited about the baby in the privacy of our home, but if we ask her to talk to Grandma or whoever about the baby, she refuses and gets a little upset. Almost like she wants the baby but doesn't want the baby to intrude on 'her people'.  But no one will match your DS's energy level like another little kid so I agree with @stassischroeder that siblings are a win for everyone!! 

@silverhope Hope it keeps going well with your DS. I love the little sign language. I didn't actively pursue that with either of mine, but my DS does the signal for more, not sure if he picked it up at daycare, along with saying 'more' like a New Yorker basically and I love it!!!

@jenEP and @EmilyLove25 Same. My eye is on the prize of around 2 years from now, when I'm done being pregnant and done breastfeeding/pumping. I feel like life will commence then, ha. And a minivan is sounding way more appealing!!

@treetop19 Hey at least he took that mess to the tub, I can't imagine toothpaste in carpet, ahhhh!!

My newborn stage with DD was way harder than with DS. I did have a more difficult delivery/recovery, and there was the NICU. But I think my expectations overall were way too high, or at least not based on anything at all, just no idea what to expect. It was so hard. I wasn't happy until she started smiling and I felt like we were finally connecting. With DS I went in knowing full well that there wasn't going to be much more between him and I than me feeding him. I took better care of myself, I let my husband and others do more, I embraced the quiet, late nights of me watching regular TV shows, eating cookies and vegging out while he just nursed and slept (all a dream compared to the toddler life)!! All that said, DS was also a dream, easy c-section delivery, easy recovery, textbook baby (fed, burped, changed), so I really hope I get so lucky with this next one or it could be a different story!!

kantobean

EDD/Weeks + Days: 3/20 11+5

 How old is/are your other kid(s)? DD is 3.5

 How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? She’s good! Loving legos, dolls, pretend play, and screen time.

 What are you looking forward regarding adding to your family? Seeing DD with the new baby. She loves babies! Snuggling a little baby again. Seeing H fall in love again. 

 What concerns do you have regarding adding to your family? Sibling rivalry, not having enough time/attention/energy to go around. My job suffering like it did the first two years with DD. Also H is being really weird about his STRONG preference for a second girl, so now I’m worried how a boy will change our dynamic. He’s always pictured two girls for whatever reason and is convinced that’s what we are having. 

 So far, is this pregnancy the same or different from your previous pregnancy(ies)? Relatively similar, but I’m less nauseous this time and no vomiting. I’m also a little less anxious I guess. My coworker says I seem to feel better than last time.

stassischroeder

@EmilyLove25 great points and great idea with the craft kit! And YES to the minivan! We don't absolutely need a minivan, but it would be so nice. But I think we'll have to go with a 4wd Toyota Sienna because we live in the great white north.

@mommytimesfour LOL, consider my expectations lowered! 

@MrsVP614 at least with baby #2 we'll know that the newborn stage is temporary, and that it gets better. I bet your boys will be the best of friends!

@stac4056 oh man, I'll send my kids out of state to that daycare that potty trains  FX DS is just teething and that it gets better soon!

@kantobean I feel like sometimes guys get stuck on what's familiar. Maybe that's not the case with YH and his preference for another girl, but I can guarantee he'll love the baby regardless of the sex! If it's a boy he might take a couple months to get used to the idea, but he'll come around. 

stassischroeder

Oh, and for anyone following along: the reason my uterus didn't seem to be growing is because it's already above where I thought it was  i thought it was still in my pelvis and it's already just below my belly button 

Malidocious

@stassischroeder I'm not a STM so I don't know why I ventured in here (lol) but I just wanted to say YAY for such a great NT scan!  My LO did not cooperate at all during the scan last week so I am hugely disappointed.  But I got the first trimester screen results from blood work and they all came back in the clear, so I'm trying to just let that suffice.

Also, my uterus is further up now than I thought, too!  I spent like a half hour trying to find the heart beat yesterday with my Doppler (yesterday was an intensely stressful day and I just wanted to hear it for some comfort) before I was finally able to -- the baby is lot higher now than it was before!

stassischroeder

@Malidocious thanks! And, don't worry - my son's NT scan was pretty much a bust, but had good NIPT results and he ended up being fine  Did you at least get a look at the basic anatomy (legs, arms, etc)? It's still nice to confirm that the baby has proper basic anatomy. 

And yeah it's crazy! My ute stayed lower for a while during my last pregnancy, but it makes sense that it would move up more quickly this time. I have a long torso, though. I'm sure lots of FTM's utes move up more quickly if they have a small torso. 

momoftoddlers

EDD/Weeks + Days: 13 + 1

How old is/are your other kid(s)? Girls, 2 and 4.

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? So much better now that school has started. We thrive on routine! They go on opposite days so I get to spend one-on-one time with each of them and it’s really nice. 

What are you looking forward regarding adding to your family? We just found out we are having a boy! So I’m looking forward to seeing his big sisters dote on him. And looking forward to seeing how raising a boy differs from girls. 

What concerns do you have regarding adding to your family? We are a pink household. My girls, through very little encouragement on my part, are very girly so I’ll be very curious to see how a boy fits in. I also know nothing about caring for a boy’s unique needs so should be fun to learn something new third time around. 

So far, is this pregnancy the same or different from your previous pregnancy? It’s the same re: nausea and exhaustion but this time with two little minions to chase around and less naps, so it feels harder. But it’s also my last one so I’m trying to savor it. 

momoftoddlers

@stassischroeder @varimama IMO, when the baby’s a newborn it’s not that hard because they sleep a lot so you can put them in the bouncy chair or bassinet and attend to the toddler. It’s harder when you have two toddlers and they run in opposite directions. So my best advice there is to guide your older child toward being cooperative and helpful from an early age. My big one loves to be a helper so if I can frame it as, I really need your help to do x, or can you teach your sister to do y, it garners more cooperation. 

ETA: Now can someone give me that pep talk about 3 kids? Because mama’s only got two arms! 🤪

momoftoddlers

@jenEP Our girls are similar ages! I vote for not upsetting your sleeping arrangements now. Sleep is precious while pregnant, and with a newborn. And the baby can sleep in a bassinet in your room for quite a while, which will also keep the noise transfer to your daughters down since you won’t be going out into the hall. We’re in a similar boat, but our bedroom was actually converted into a huge master with what used to be our 4th bedroom, so at some point we’ll have to convert it back. But everyone is staying where they are for now. 

kantobean

@stassischroeder I know you’re right. He will love the baby regardless of sex! I think he’s nervous about a boy because he himself is not a super masculine guy. Many of his friends are women, he likes reading and classical music and never really played sports, he loves cooking....but I keep telling him that if we do have a son, he’s going to be OUR son. It’s unlikely our genes/personalities would produce a super masculine, very athletic, macho man type of son. Lol We would have a little book nerd, maybe video gamer. 

uno_mas

EDD/Weeks + Days: 11w4d

How old is/are your other kid(s)? DS is almost 13 and DD is almost 7.  @treetop19 it’s crazy to have an almost teen and be expecting a baby!  Imagining the simultaneous meltdowns.

How is/are your kiddo(s) doing? So far so good!  I was pretty shocked with how happy DS was about the news.  I thought he would be like “GROSS!!” 🤣. Both kids are very happy and they were the ones to announce to the rest of the family which was extra fun. My son asks really thoughtful questions about how I’m feeling, which providers I’ll use/where I’ll give birth, etc. He witnessed the birth of his sister when he was 6 so he knows a fair amount about how this goes down.  DD wants to play dolls/family/the birth game every day to “practice” LOL 

What are you looking forward regarding adding to your family?
Cant wait to see the big kids with this little one.  Just happy to be hitting the reset button and getting to parent another  child all over again. I’ve never felt like we were “done” and I’m not sure that I will after this either.  I look forward to each stage and as a postpartum doula, I actually really adore those first sensitive transitional weeks. I hope I have all the help I need to make it smooth. I ageee with the previous comments about lowering expectations and letting good enough be good enough. 

What concerns do you have regarding adding to your family?
Hoping the baby is healthy, and also that I can keep up with all the activities and more importantly the emotional needs the older kids have.  With DS approaching the teenage years, I want to be just as present for him and not feel distracted because of tending to the baby. 

So far, is this pregnancy the same or different from your previous pregnancy(ies)?
It’s most like my first pregnancy (with my son).  Barely nauseous and feeling overall really great.  But giant belly already which I don’t mind ❤️ Definitely hardly ever nap this time but doing ok. 

miss.sally

I’m mobile so please consider the love tits my hugs and support and love for everyone who needs it because I cannot handle the tagging at the moment. 

Im starting to feel more and more nervous about the every day with two small children. DD is 9 and will be 10 by the time baby is here so she will be at school most of the time. The transition from 1-2 was hard just because I had an independent child and had to go back to newborn stage. But it wasn’t too crazy because she was so independent. Like if I needed to nap I could, or nurse DS. She was/is pretty self sufficient. This time having a toddler and a newborn is really scary. Like what do I do if I have to nurse and he needs something? I mean I know people do this literally all the time, but the logistics of it freak me out. I have a hard enough time handling pregnancy symptoms and also being a mom to him so... that isn’t giving me much hope. I guess I’ll pray that this baby is a perfect little bean and sleeps really well and nurses quick. Lol. 

Also DS has kidney/uriter tube problems so I’m a bit terrified that the new baby will also and I don’t want him to have to go through everything we have with DS

mrsvp614

@EmilyLove25 After being anti-minivan for more than 30 years, we bought one the week before we found out we were KU... and it's been AWESOME! Those sliding doors are a game changer for wrangling a toddler in/out of a carseat! 

stassischroeder

kantobean said:

@stassischroeder I know you’re right. He will love the baby regardless of sex! I think he’s nervous about a boy because he himself is not a super masculine guy. Many of his friends are women, he likes reading and classical music and never really played sports, he loves cooking....but I keep telling him that if we do have a son, he’s going to be OUR son. It’s unlikely our genes/personalities would produce a super masculine, very athletic, macho man type of son. Lol We would have a little book nerd, maybe video gamer. 

Man, I think those qualities make it even MORE awesome for him to raise a son. We need more sons being raised with exposure to things like that. My paternal grandfather is very much into classical music (he has several busts of classical music artists in him home), reading, ballet, photography/art, and the only sport he played was tennis. My father and uncle grew up with an appreciation of all my grandfather loved, but are also very much into traditional sports and other "guy" things. I think they are very well-rounded, cultured men. 

I'm honestly nervous that my son may be raised in this area where it's all hunting, fishing, grunting, beer, 'murica, and guns. Of course he's OUR son, so we'll be sure to expose him to many things beyond that, but general environment certainly plays a part. 

Sorry that's long-winded, but long story short: Mr. Kantobean PLEASE RAISE SONS!

stassischroeder

miss.sally said:

Im starting to feel more and more nervous about the every day with two small children. DD is 9 and will be 10 by the time baby is here so she will be at school most of the time. The transition from 1-2 was hard just because I had an independent child and had to go back to newborn stage. But it wasn’t too crazy because she was so independent. Like if I needed to nap I could, or nurse DS. She was/is pretty self sufficient. This time having a toddler and a newborn is really scary. Like what do I do if I have to nurse and he needs something? I mean I know people do this literally all the time, but the logistics of it freak me out. I have a hard enough time handling pregnancy symptoms and also being a mom to him so... that isn’t giving me much hope. I guess I’ll pray that this baby is a perfect little bean and sleeps really well and nurses quick. Lol. 

Also DS has kidney/uriter tube problems so I’m a bit terrified that the new baby will also and I don’t want him to have to go through everything we have with DS

I could have written the bolded part myself. Like, HOW??????? I'm super nervous, but just keep telling myself that even if it's a rough 1st 6ish months, it's only temporary. I fully expect myself to ask "why the hell did we do this???" multiple times lol. 

And unfortunately you can't do anything to control the medical issues. But, now that you've had one kiddo with those issues, you're practically an expert and baby #3 will have the benefit of your prior experience! My older sister had kidney issues (she was born with FOUR of them and improper plumbing  ) but they didn't figure it out until she was 9 months old. So, when I was born, you bet your ass my mom insisted that they check me for the same issues right away. 

Malidocious

@stassischroeder Thanks for the reassurance!  We did get a wonderful look at the baby during the US and saw the anatomy — has both arms and hands, legs and feet, two eyes, a cute little nose, etc.  It looked like a perfect little baby in there, just trying to take a snooze on its tummy (but moving a lot when prodded, only to curl back up).  I feel like the techs or OB would have mentioned if anything looked suspect or abnormal.   My aunt has a trisomy 3 baby (who is 21 now actually so not really a baby anymore) and they found out she had issues at the NT scan because her head wasn't shaped properly.  So I feel like at least my OB would have mentioned if there were abnormalities.  She said the ultrasound looked good and the first trimester screening results came back low risk and great, so I'm trying to just appreciate that information and stay calm and peaceful.   

uno_mas

@stassischroeder and @miss.sally I don’t have personal experience with a toddler and a newborn since mine are spaced out so far (not by choice that’s just how it turned out) but I’ve had a lot of clients and close friends with babies close in age including clients with 7 kids and a good friend with twin toddlers and a newborn.  I’ve noticed that they keep the toddler’s routines in place above the newborn since toddlers are a hot mess when they are off their schedules and infants eat and sleep a LOT but it’s maybe a bit more flexible?  I feel like the babies always adapt around the family’s needs and naturally adjust their sleep/feeding.  They set up an area or two that is super safe for the toddler to roam and play with baby gates or those little fence play yard things so they can contain the toddler when they are nursing or dealing with a newborn diaper blowout. Babywearing is a huge help, or just having one kid in a stroller while the other is in arms or roaming. I’ve also observed them being really discerning about whether they have energy for certain outings or if it’s all around easier to stay home and keep their schedule cause some days you’re more tired and other days getting out is the sanity saver.  It’s a lot to juggle but will be so awesome that they have a close playmate in a couple years.  You will totally figure it out.  I guess it’s all about juggling no matter what the age dynamic or how many kids.. I feel like all parents of any age kids are juggling to some extent and would like more sleep 😄. Good luck!❤️

stassischroeder

@Malidocious it sounds like, even if you didn't get a neck measurement, everything is looking perfect so far! I agree that you have every reason to feel calm and peaceful right now 

@uno_mas thank you! That's honestly a perspective that I hadn't thought of or heard yet, so it's very helpful! When you have your first baby it's all-consuming, so you don't consider how flexible newborns really are.



Does anyone else feel super accomplished when they manage to clip their toddler's finger nails?   
Oh, and I happened to spot a molar cutting yesterday evening. SEND HELP. Of course he starts cutting molars right before we fly to Colorado for a week 

jenEP

@stassischroeder @miss.sally I actually had a much easier time overall when DD2 came (DD1 was 27 months) than when DD1 was born. The transition from none to one was much harder for me. I think it was for a few reasons: 1. I was more prepared for what to expect, 2. I asked for more help (DH took 2 weeks off instead of 1, MIL helped more), 3. DD2 wasn’t colicky (so no control over this one but maybe gives hope to some of you who had colicky babies the first time). Don’t get me wrong, it was a shit show on plenty of occasions. But it wasn’t as hard as I anticipated based on my first go around (which was a complete disaster full of PPA/PPD). 

thescarletmom

@miss.sally I totally understand your fear of medical issues. DH also has kidney issues that he was born with, only one of his has functioned since before he was born, and at 23 he's already progressed in to stage 2 kidney failure. In addition to this, he has a family history of men having another totally separate kidney issue, that has caused his dad to start dialysis and be on a kidney transplant list starting in his mid 40s. It's all a little terrifying now that we know we're expecting a boy. The anatomy scan is something I'm VERY anxiously anticipating. But like @stassischroeder said, you are already well-versed in being an advocate for your children and they will benefit from your experience, though hopefully you don't have to worry about it with #3. It's so hard to worry about your children's health.

miss.sally

Ladies, does anyone have a recommendation for a maternity support tank top? I’m not crazy about the bands. I’ve been eyeing the blanqui one but it’s expensive. I’m willing to splurge if it’s worth it though. I had horrible back pain with DS, and it’s already starting this time despite not gaining any weight yet. So I want to get on this ASAP. 

wednesdayschild

@miss.sally, I had two friends (both STM) recommend the Blanqui tanks. They apparently do great sales if you keep an eye on them — dunno if you can wait until Black Friday, but it sounds like they do a big one then. Or maybe buy one now and stock up during sales later? 🤷🏼‍♀️