TTTC Check-in: 08/19/2019

hithertorue

Hello everyone! 

As always, please double-check your name and confirm your Dx & Rx. 

QOTW: Something funny for your Monday morning. You could even share it with your partner and see what they would be! BuzzFeed Quiz: Your Personality Will Reveal What Role You'd Play In A Heist Movie:
https://www.buzzfeed.com/theofficialquizmaster/heres-what-role-youd-have-in-a-bank-heist-c46br1q9y?utm_source=dynamic&utm_campaign=bfsharecopy 

Any Rants/Raves from this past week? Tell us about it!

2019 BFP Hall of Fame:
prpl11butterfly: dx: RPL rx: TI with progesterone
cigaline: Dx: unexplained/MFI Rx: IUI
sincethelastday: dx: unexplained Rx: IUI
optimisim3: Dx: endometriosis, Hashi’s, possibly adenomyosis Rx: IUI
littleredm: Dx: endometriosis and unexplained Rx: IVF
To be added to our Hall of Fame, please let us know when you are comfortable with us doing so!

PAGING:

@inthewoods23 - dx:unexplained. Rx: IVF

@chiblackhawkie - rx: IUI 

@nancinator - Dx: unexplained  Rx: IVF

@blackrose-9 - Dx: PCOS Rx: Femara

@hithertorue - Dx: Low AMH/MFI Rx: IUI 

@2dogsmom - Dx: ovulation dysfunction Rx: IUI

@sara_tory: Dx: PCOS, endometriosis, adenomyosis Rx: IUI 

@ase33 - Dx: PCOS, complex endometrial hyperplasia, amenorrhea Rx: Femara + TI 

@olivklau - Dx: unexplained Rx: IUI

@knockupthestock - Dx: PCOS Rx: Letrozole, dexa, Clomid, trigger, progesterone, and TI.

@b_1029 - Dx: unexplained Rx: Letrozole, trigger, TI.

@ceauth - Dx: Borderline PCOS, unexplained Rx: Letrozole, OPKs, IUI, Progesterone.

FRIENDS REJOINING US AND NEWCOMERS:

To be added to our weekly roll call, please provide the following:

1.  Briefly introduce yourself (or reintroduce yourself), if you didn't post a separate introduction post.

2.  What is your diagnosis? (Dx)

3.  What is your treatment plan? (Rx)

2dogsmom

Happy Monday all!
 @b_1029 sorry to hear you got AF. Hope your timing works out this month.
 @Ceauth when is your TWW over? @knockupthestock not sure if you’re checking in at all but hope your break is going well.

 AFM: Just hanging out in TWW mode this week. Had quite a bit of abdominal pain Friday/today and I’m not sure why but hopefully it won’t impact anything. Like @Ceauth last week I am heading back to school this week, so it will definitely be busy!!

 QOTW: I am apparently the Mastermind!

hithertorue

Hey ladies, 

QOTW: The Getaway Driver -- You love to live life on the edge. You operate out of confidence rather than fear. Your determination and drive never fails you.

@2dogsmom -- Good luck on being back at school. Should probably help a bit with the TWW! FX for you!!

@inthewoods23 -- Hope you're doing alright with your injections! September is around the corner!!

@b_1029 -- Did the scheduling work out for you?? Thinking of you!

@nancinator -- Thinking of you and hope all is well. How are you holding up in your wait?

Rants/Raves: Well my beta today was negative. That's as good a reason as any to rant. Plus why does it always seem that on test day of all days is when someone chooses to tell me they're PG, "it was totally unexpected, we were all done having kids!" 😵 Not a good day for it. Thankfully it was on a phone call and not face-to-face and also not someone I know well or will talk to often. Ugh!! 

My mood today could obviously be better.
I'll stick the rest of the ranting in a spoiler, just need to blow off steam...

Read if you feel ok to come down the sour mood "rabbit hole" with me, but please skip if it will be triggering or bring anyone in the TWW down!

I'm rocking in my newly acquired (given to me by a close friend) rocking chair. Which she "passed on" to me in hopes to bring good luck and also because no one else in her family was likely to have kids and it's been in the family for a few generations. Very sweet of her and I love it. Sitting in it is both comforting and helpful for visualizing but sometimes wonder if it's a little masochistic. But I feel that way about being overly hopeful at times too... like "am I just torturing myself by setting my hopes higher this cycle??"

Just ruminating on the craziness and crapiness that is IF. 

I feel like I've been through enough negatives now that I could definitely barrel through this and be all gunsh about this next cycle.... but I'm also of the mindset that it does more harm than good to put on a smile and tough it out. It makes it seem more draining I think if you try to squash the bad stuff. 

So, in honor of my bad mood, or rather in anticipation, I worked through my lunch today (ate at my desk), kept busy and got the news around 1:00, left 30 mins early at the end of the day and went to acupuncture. Truly the best decision I have made today. 

Acupuncture was great, I felt like that really heavy feeling you get on a good Sunday nap when you're tired. Planning on a very quiet night tonight. "Feel all the feels" that come along with the news.

Last rant, promise, I was thinking this while in my acupuncture daze.... I'm starting to feel like it's harder and harder to envision myself with my bump or a babe in arms. (I know that's just the mood of the day talking.) Part of the reason I'm rocking as I type out my weekly update here... I will have to find a way to reconnect again...

In a few days when drugs and appointments start I know I will be more energetic about this next cycle, IUI #5. Last cycle was showing improvement from the changes to drugs and supplements we had made... So FX! And maybe some prayers. 

Thanks to you ladies for all your support. Just knowing I could type out what's on my mind today and that you've been there and can empathize from a deeper place feels so, so comforting. ❤

2dogsmom

@hithertorue so sorry to hear your negative!! Rant all you need, we totally understand. I get it re the rocker — on the one hand it’s great but it’s also that constant reminder. We collected quite a bit of baby related stuff 2 years ago when we started really trying. About a year ago I moved it all to the garage/guest room closet, out if sight. I love that my close friends wanted to pass stuff on to me but I couldn’t handle looking at it. 

And ugh re friend telling you today. Sometimes I feel like everyone around me is pregnant 🤦🏼‍♀️

I totally get what you mean about getting hard to visualize yourself with the bump/baby... I have ups and downs with that too. Today on the way to work I was imagining how I would tell my close friends (who know about my if struggle) if I finally got the BFP. Other days I can’t seem to imagine any of it. 

I am glad you had some positives this last round even if the ultimate result was negative, because like you said another month on all that will help even that much more. 

Hang in there, and feel free to rant all you want!! I’ll be thinking about you tonight— IF is just so unfair! 

nancinator

QOTW: I’m the “Hacker” which is hilarious because I definitely don’t know how to hack.

@2dogsmom glad you’re keeping busy during this TWW. I can’t believe it’s nearly September wow. I always find that funny cause my friends do the same. It’s kind of them but I think they don’t realize it can feel like a bit of a sting. 

@hithertorue ugh meh so sorry!! I definitely think it’s healthy to rant, get angry, and generally release the incredible frustration of this long process. Because it combines both physical and mental and also financial stress, it’s way worse to pretend everything is alright. And when people in your life get pregnant naturally, it’s normal to feel shitty about it and happy for them at the same time. I know it’s not ideal to have to go through this many IUIs but my doctor has told me that sometimes insurance is right and women will get pregnant on that 6th iui cycle before they get approved for ivf. Unfortunately for some of us, insurance doesn’t cover IVF !! 😤 

No rants or raves from me this week. We’re on holiday and trying to take it easy with hiking, swimming, and nature things. I’ll be going in Monday 26th for a scan 🤞 this one should detect a heartbeat. I had a scan last Thurs and they saw a gestational sac and yolk sac.

b_1029

@2dogsmom sorry for the abd pain! Any idea why? Good luck on your first week of school!

@hithertorue I’m so sorry it does always seem to be the hardest days when people end up sharing their news (or asking if you’re pregnant). As for your rant- I totally understand how you feel. When people talk about their pregnancies or I think of having my own baby, I can’t really picture it any more. I know it’s dramatic because we haven’t been trying nearly as long as others, but it seems further away every month. I’m glad to hear there was some improvement with everything between your last IUI and this one! Hopefully those improvements will do the trick for your next IUI. FX for you, and sending you good vibes today ❤️ (And to answer your question to me, what I thought was AF didn’t end up truly being it...so the timing should be ok this month)

@nancinator FX for you!

 AFM, (this got long so I’m just putting it in a spoiler)

 just kind of down in the dumps for no reason. I was sick the last couple days with some sort of weird stomach virus and have no energy to do anything. I tried calling the coordinator at the pharmacy I have to get the trigger shot from this morning and left a message, never heard back. I called again at like 2:20 and talked to another employee who said I could’ve just called the pharmacy directly and not the coordinator to start the process, which I had no idea about, but the cut off time for a Thursday shipment was 2 pm. I guess I should’ve asked what the process was but this was my first time refilling it so I just assumed I called the coordinator like last time to get the shipment sorted. Nope. I’m hoping it can be delivered Friday- I have my monitoring appt on Monday- but I won’t be able to be home to sign for it like last time. I’m nervous they won’t leave it but I guess we’ll see. I’ll be out of town and DH has been working such long hours so I’m irrationally worried it’ll get stolen from our porch (surprise, thieves! Haha). I don’t know why everything about the IF process has to be so complicated. The monitoring appt will be on CD 10 so a bit early, but the next time they could’ve gotten me in was on CD 13 which is probably too late for me since I typically O on day 12-13. I am not feeling confident about our current treatment plan but I just need to breathe and learn to be more patient.

 QOTW- id apparently be the mastermind!

edited- formatting was all wonky on mobile 

Ceauth

@2dogsmom My TWW ends on Friday, when I’m supposed to do a HPT. However, I might cheat and do it tomorrow morning. I hope that going back to school is making your TWW go by quickly! When is your TWW over?

@hithertorue Thanks for the advice about drinking white wine with ice, I ended up having a glass of red with dinner after I had already had appetizers. I was thinking it would be better to have a glass with a full stomach. I’m sorry to hear about how you’ve been feeling since your last beta, I completely understand about having ups and downs and questioning, “What’s the point of being positive if I’m just going to be let down (again!)?” Also, that’s so frustrating when it seems like everyone around you is pregnant. Where I work, about 10% of the other teachers are pregnant at all times... so I completely understand! I’ll definitely be keeping you in my prayers, and I hope that IUI#5 is your lucky number!

@b_1029 Hope that your monitoring appointment goes well and you are able get your trigger shot delivered on time (and not stolen by those nasty thieves lol)

@nancinator GL with your upcoming scan!

QOTW: I’m apparently The Hacker! 

AFM I’m just trying to hang on as I approach the end of my TWW. I have been struggling with SS the past few days... and don’t know what is being caused by the progesterone or just the stress of being back at work. It seems like every day I’ve had headaches and nausea on and off throughout the day. Also, found out that my new health insurance will still cover IUIs, so I’m pretty relieved about that!

b_1029

@Ceauth yay I’m glad your insurance will still cover IUIs! Will you still be able to go to your same doctor? Hope the rest of your TWW goes by quickly with the best result!

hithertorue

Hey ladies, 

Thanks for all your amazing support this week. Truly  amazing to know I have a group I can turn to and spill out these thoughts to and know you get it, not just empathize but have been there too. Which 100% sucks for all of us, but at least we aren't alone in it? No matter how I say that it sounds awful!! None of us should be here or have gone through this. Ugh! But we will all be stronger for the struggle. I truly believe that. 

@2dogsmom -- ALMOST Friday, hope the rest of your week back at school has been alright!

@b_1029 -- wow what a crazy system to get even your medications lined up, eh? (Thought I'd throw in that Canadian "eh" because I totally said it in my head!) Hope that works out for you and the thieves stay away! Very glad the appointment timing lined up ok!!

@nancinator -- great to hear your last appointment went well and looking forward to hearing about your appointment Monday! Hang in there until then!! 

@Ceauth -- FX for you!!! Did you wind up testing today or still holding until tomorrow? Wishing you luck and thinking of you!

Feeling a bit brighter today. Have my first check tomorrow for Day 3. Supposed to start my half dose letrozole tomorrow (1.25mg). Plan was to do daily monitoring starting Day 6 in case we need to drop the Puregon (FSH) down like we did last cycle. I'm just hoping we see even more improvement to Antral Follicles this time. 🙏🤞🙏🤞

Ceauth

@b_1029 Yeah, I will still be covered under the same doctors... our insurance actually ended up not changing much, same carrier, just a different plan.

@hithertorue Glad to hear that your a feeling a bit brighter today, you are still in my prayers and I hope this cycle works for you. I ended up testing Thursday morning...

**TW**

So I took a test Thursday, and I ended up with 2 pink lines! I never thought this day would come, and I’m in total shock! I immediately called my RE’s office, and they scheduled my beta for this morning. My beta was 403! I just don’t know what to think/feel... I never thought that pregnancy would happen for me, and I’m nervous about m/c because my sister’s first pregnancy ended in a m/c. All of these emotions are crazy! 

FX for everyone, and definitely want to hang out here for a little bit longer.

hithertorue

@Ceauth : 🥳

Omg- yay!! So happy for you!! And also completely understand the crazy mix of emotions you must be feeling. Try to take it just one day and one week at a time and stay with us here for as long as you need to! When you decide to graduate away I will add you to the Grad list.   

2dogsmom

@Ceauth

Wow yay! That’s such great news! Congrats! I am totally scared about m/c too as my mom had several, but still, getting the BFP is so great! When is your next appointment? 

All this talk of insurance coverage this week, anyone in the US have Kaiser and get IF coverage? My current insurance covers nothing related to IF (because I don’t “need” to be pregnant they are all “elective” procedures). My other choice through work is Kaiser, is debating if I should try switching (but I really like my Doctors and I would have all new). Anyway...

@hithertorue how are you feeling now? How did the day 3 check go?

@nancinator Glad to hear things are going well hope it continues to go smoothly! 

@b_1029 did you get your meds sorted out? I have had that problem — I had to skip June because I didn’t get the meds I needed in time, it was really frustrating. Having to be home to sign for the trigger shot is really hard for me (& they don’t leave it here). My hubby and I both have jobs that are hard to leave/work from home. 

Ceauth

@hithertorue Thanks for all the support!

@2dogsmom Thanks so much! My next appointment is Tuesday for more blood work.

knockupthestock

Hey everyone! So sorry I've been away for a while....I had a work trip to San Diego, then got pneumonia, so I've been a little out of it recently haha. I've been thinking of yall a lot and enjoyed reading/catching up on everyone.

@2dogsmom hope the TWW and back to school has been going well! When is your TWW over? FX as always! 

@hithertorue so sorry about your negative, and I'm sorry things were extra difficult. You're a rockstar! Keep on keeping on. We're here to support you and help you through the rough times. I hope this next cycle goes well for you, and that you're feeling better!

@nancinator excited to hear how your next appointment goes! Hope you're just enjoying life each day!

@b_1029 I'm sorry you're not feeling confident with your treatment plan this cycle. Do you like your doctor's office and staff? Can you express that to them? Hopefully you start to feel more comfortable soon.

@Ceauth how exciting! Can't wait to hear how the next steps go, and FX crossed for you that it all goes well.

AFM: DH and I are feeling good about our decision to take a break. This time will be good for making healthy lifestyle changes, hopefully dropping some weight, and just getting into a good routine. DH just quit his job to go to school full time so we have a lot of changes! Also, I didn't realize how much the IF drugs and treatment affected my sex drive, but I'll just say that BDing is a lot easier and much more fun now than before haha. I felt some ovulation pain this past week, which was interesting since I don't typically ovulate without help. I'm not temping or doing OPKs, since I thought I wouldn't ovulate without the trigger shot so there wasn't a point in trying. So we will see what happens haha. It's probably nothing.

We applied for a grant for IF treatments through this foundation called Footsteps for Fertility. They're doing a 5K fun run this coming Saturday, and after that they're announcing the random winner of the grant, so we're hoping we can maybe get it to pay for future treatments!

QOTW: I got hacker.....which isn't surprising since I'm always the nerdy one hahaha.

Love you ladies!!!