Weekly Randoms w/o 8/5

b_1029

@whitealbum29 we did it a long time ago and it was fun! We should do it again!

shamrocandroll

I think I *just* deleted all of my edited photos with smiley face stickers over our faces from the last time we did one, haha.

NYTino24

8 rows away from Jake Gyllenhaal on Broadway as his guest last night! He donated tickets to DonorsChoose teachers. Also, my $20 Mango Mama drink...

inthewoods23

Idk why I freaking bother selecting one day shipping when it's a free option with Amazon Prime. My stuff has shipped but neither package says it's out for delivery and it's already noon! I don't think I have EVER gotten my stuff in 1 day like promised. UGH 

ETA: speak of the devil they're out for delivery now 😆 I guess it pays to complain!

b_1029

Random question. Say you’re adopted but have no idea if your birth father knows you exist/ if his family would know about you...you do 23andMe and it finds a 1st cousin (his sisters daughter from what I can tell from my FB stalking)....do you connect to this person on the app? 

Eta it would probably just open a can of worms and I shouldn’t do it..but I’m so curious haha. This girl looks like she could be my sister, which is crazy! 

mvt2003

@b_1029 Oh wow! That's intense!! I actually have a friend dealing with a similar situation. Her SO did one of the genetic kits, and found out that way that the man who raised him is not his bio-dad, and his mom had had an affair with a co-worker. They made contact with his bio dad, and they've been building a really nice relationship. So sometimes it does work out...

NYTino24

@b_1029 Ahhh such a tough situation. I would wait to see if the other person reached out and then consider making contact. 

NYTino24

Check out this worm! For reference, I have a size 9-10 foot.

tyrion_

@b_1029 Opposite of @mvt2003, my friend found her bio dad. He didn’t know about her and it was a shock. He initially was open to talking to her but pulled back at the last minute (they were going through a third party). My friend was pretty crushed. Just be careful and put yourself first. Guard your feelings but also I believe you have a right to explore your history (not that the opinion of an internet stranger matters). 

inthewoods23

@NYTino24 I am both grossed and and incredibly intrigued at the size of this worm! 😆🧐

tyrion_

@NYTino24 I’m still not over the first creature you terrified us with 😂

bluetickgal

@b_1029 that’s an incredibly difficult situation! I don’t have any advice really, but I hope you have peace with whatever decision you make! I feel like I might want to know if I were in that situation, but the unknown is also scary! Best of luck with whatever you decide! 

begging4abump

@b_1029 whoa. My head is still spinning trying to think through your situation, so I can’t begin to imagine what you’re feeling! That’s such a tough call! Ahhh, I’m so torn! Wishing whichever way you decide is the right choice for you! ❤️
Also, condolences on the crappy appliance situation. Parts of some of our pipes/connector pieces are totally corroded too. What a pia. I hope that’s getting resolved soon! 

[Deleted User]

@b_1029. That's tough.  In some ways, maybe testing the waters with cousin first is safer, and try to gauge through her how he might react?  What were the other circumstances around the adoption?  I have a dear friend who was adopted and connected via her birth mom with her bio sisters, and it went pretty well.  Their dad, notsomuch.  I really have no idea with him, tbh.  Not sure if they are full or half siblings either, but at any rate, the sisters are all in touch now.  Every situation is completely different tho, so it's impossible to know how someone may respond.  I think it would be pretty hard not to be kinda crushed if he were not interested in talking, where maybe starting with a cousin, less of your heart is on the line?  It's so hard tho because it's like a bell - you can't un-ring it ...  (((Hugs)))

charmedlifex3

@b_1029 I would! My uncle found my mother - he was given up at birth, he was about 10 years older than her. He was able to meet my grandmother, who is 93, and most of his siblings. He ended up passing away relatively young from complications from surgery - he was 73 or 74, so not super young, but he had about 8 years of knowing the family he came from. And ... thanking his stars he was adopted I am sure. The crazy is strong on  my mom's side. 
@NYTino24 we don't get worms like that here, but we did where I grew up! I blame the free range chickens. My neighbors backyard chickens are always escaping, lol. 

charmedlifex3

Is anyone else playing mind games with them selves. "Well, fine, I don't want to be pregnant right now anyways because of this thing that totally doesn't matter. Eff you universe / body."

NYTino24

@tyrion_ Bahaha... I have more. Just haven’t dug up those student projects!

[Deleted User]

@whatsbumpinpumpkin. Ha!  Yeah, it's a two-way street.  "It's okay, it would be super inconvenient to try to do early morning monitoring while DH is on a work trip," vs.  "I could just be a totally Awesome IF warrior woman, and even manage to pull off all my morning monitoring while he's out of town!"  Ughh.  AF is almost here, too, so I have to do <i>SOMETHING</i> in my mind to, "make it okay," that we're still not transferring yet ...  :(

emeraldduchess

@b_1029 wow, that's a tough decision. I don't have any advice, but I hope that whatever you decide is what will make you happy. 

bows22

@b_1029 I keep thinking about your situation and don’t have anything to offer other than what everyone else has said. But I definitely don’t think you should avoid reaching out if that’s something you want to do. 

b_1029

Thanks all- so just a little more info, I was adopted at birth. Birth mom was 15 and b father was 18 but apparently never acknowledged the pregnancy / said it wasn’t his (well 23andMe says so lol there’s a “dna relative” on there with his last name)? I found and connected with my BM several years ago on Facebook and her 2 daughters know about me and requested me as well. It was then that my BM told me who my BF was. We messaged back and forth at first but now don’t so it’s not like we have a super close relationship? If the BF didn’t acknowledge me or know when/if I was born, I would assume his family doesn’t know about me. Idk, just a weird situation. 
Thanks for all the advice! I’m still mulling it over. If she ever checks the app, I’m sure she’s like “who’s this rando 1st cousin?” Haha

eta words

dpchickens

b_1029  It is a tough thing.  Good luck with whatever you choose.  However, at this point in your life I'm (guessing) you are a grown-ass woman and don't need 18+ years of monetary support and time/attention that goes into parenting. With your bio-rents being as young as they were, and him talking to you some, it doesn't seem as though there are any hard feelings or whatnot. So, if you're mostly doing this from a genealogical perspective, they may be more open to it. (depends on how open THEY are to genea. research as well) But they may be just as interested to connect with someone and find out more 'family history' especially if they did an ancestry kit for their DNA as well!  (OR they may tell you to go pound sand, and is that worse than not knowing and being in your current situation?  IF so, F them... you are beautiful and amazing.  )

ottergirl81

@b_1029 Your adoption story is incredible. Just started my day with reading back about what others have advised and what not. I just want to tell you that you are very brave for whatever you do to contact anyone and am very thankful that you are here to share your story. 

@NYTino24 That worm was huge! We sometimes get those where I am. Ick!

inthewoods23

My boss had to pick up my partially unzipped backpack from my spare cubicle chair (my visitors chair) to sit and talk to me about something he's starting to do for our group. Mid conversation is when I realized I had the backpack partially unzipped and now I hoping he didn't see my bottle of prenatals 🙈

I should not feel ashamed to be seen with them but it always gives people the wrong idea!

shamrocandroll

Sorry I went MIA today. I volunteered for Source to Sea river cleanup and spent all day kayaking down the river picking up trash and tires. The weather was perfect, but my arms are SO SORE. And now I'm enjoying some peace before MIL shows up for the night. 😖

emeraldduchess

@shamrocandroll it sounds like you had a nice day on the river! Good luck with your MIL. Deeeep breaths, girl. 

ruby696

Wine @shamrocandroll. Lots of wine. And your arms will feel better too! 😆

emeraldduchess

@shamrocandroll we can drink together in spirit. 🥂

shamrocandroll

@emeraldduchess @ruby696 So far one comment about how I'm drinking wine so I must not be pregnant. It was in a restaurant, so I'll let that one go, but zero tolerance from now on. 

emeraldduchess

@shamrocandroll OK I am now pissed on your behalf. My mom did something similar on Wednesday, we drove past the liquor store and she asked if I wanted to stop to get anything. That was her way of asking if I was KU. 

shamrocandroll

@emeraldduchess I wish I could say I was shocked, but I'm not. She is the worst and I dread every time we see her because she ceaselessly harasses us about it. 

whitealbum29

@b_1029 - that is an amazing story! I'm so glad you've been able to connect with your BM and her daughters and that it was positive or at least not negative. I had to think about the initial question before answering. I liked what @BusinessWife said about the cousin being kind of a safe way to dip your toe in while still being kind of guarded. Since I don't have personal experience take this with a grain of salt but I think I would err on the side of wanting to explore it and see if it leads anywhere - I'm just someone who, if I see there's the possibility of getting info about something, I want the info. Do you feel like you have a really strong support system in case the interaction doesn't go the way you want? 
@shamrocandroll - Ugh that is so inappropriate and annoying!