PGAL Check-In Week of 7/22

EmilyLove25 · July 2019

Happy Monday, Ladies! (But also, BOO, it's Monday!)

1. How many weeks are you?

2. Previous loss(es)?

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically?

4. Any appointment updates?

5. Rants/Raves/Questions?

6. Any milestones coming up?

7. GTKY: If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

miss.sally · July 2019

1. How many weeks are you? 8+1 !!

2. Previous loss(es)? Two, one at 8ish weeks, one at 5.5.

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically I’m a complete MESS. I go from crazy nausea to being so tired I cannot get off the couch, to being angry at anything, to crying. I feel like a crazy person. I’ve also started getting round ligament pains and I feel like 8 weeks is WAY too early for that but maybe because it’s a third pregnancy? No idea. Emotionally I’m ok. I have an ultrasound today and I have some anxiety about that, but since I am having symptoms it gives me some peace of mind.

4. Any appointment updates? Today at 12:30!!! And then an ultrasound after!

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Has anyone else experienced RLP early in pregnancy? I didn’t have it until much later with DS, so it’s weirding me out that it’s happening.

6. Any milestones coming up? As long as today’s ultrasound goes well, it will be a huge loss milestone for me.

7. GTKY: If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? I find this question difficult to answer. I think I could probably live just about anywhere as long as I had the ability to travel and explore new places. That being said, I really miss living in Seattle, which is where I lived most of my life. I don’t miss all the rain, but it was such an amazing place to be. I’ve also always wanted to live in San Diego. Awesome climate and so beautiful!

projectalice · July 2019

1. How many weeks are you? 5 weeks, 5 days

2. Previous loss(es)? 1 blighted ovum, 1 mmc (triploidy), 1 chemical pregnancy

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Ok physically, emotionally I feel terrible.

4. Any appointment updates? I need to schedule a couple more blood draws

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? I talked to my nurse today. My hcg draws from last week show my numbers only increased from 911 to 1000 something. Guys. I don't think this pregnancy is viable.... that number didn't increase properly at all, not even close.

If this is another failed pregnancy my husband will not try again and I guess I won't have any more children. My son will be an only child. Not what I wanted for him, but I guess I'm just incapable of carrying a healthy baby again.... Must have been a miracle the first time.
I'm ranting because I am supposed to get a couple more blood draws this week to confirm, but I share a car with my husband and honestly I don't know if it will even be possible to do this week, considering how busy he is and I would have to forgo my sleep.

6. Any milestones coming up? No.

7. GTKY: If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? I don't even know. Maybe Tennessee. It was nice there.

kagesstarshroom · July 2019

@miss.sally FX that your u/s today goes well! Mine is also in the early afternoon (but next Thurs.) & I wonder if I am going to be kicking myself for not taking an early morning appointment they offered me instead.

1. How many weeks are you? 5w2d

2. Previous loss(es)? CP in Oct. 2018; MMC w/ D&C in Jan./Feb. 2019

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally, I feel like I'm on a roller coaster ride. The ride isn't too bumpy or too dramatic, but there are ups and downs and I'm feeling them each. I had a LOT of anxiety and insomnia this weekend, like--really unbearably. But I slept okay last night. Physically, I have a vague sense of nausea, and it seems other symptoms that were severe are now much less severe--my back pain and boob hurtiness, for instance. I can't tell if I have gotten used to them, changed behaviors in a way that positively affected them, or what, but it's all good. Pregnancy does not have to mean suffering.

4. Any appointment updates? My first is still 8/1. I'm so glad I didn't do the HCG draws. At first, I wasn't sure if that was 100% the right choice--I was like 80% sure. But now I'm sure that was the right choice for *me*.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? DH isn't feeling good and trying to nap, but the dogs are always very... vocal in the morning and it's pissing him off. I'm like, I deal with this every day! But at the same time feel bad I can't keep them quiet so he can rest--the sooner he gets enough rest in, the sooner he can go to work! / We finished watching the Netflix show BLOWN AWAY last night & really enjoyed it. I wish there were already more seasons bc I'd like to watch more like it!

6. Any milestones coming up? I passed the #dpo of my first loss this weekend. Yay! The day of my 1st appt. is basically when my last pregnancy stopped progressing, though I didn't find out until a week and a half later. So that's all coming up. I am trying to remain as confident as possible.

7. GTKY: If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? If I could somehow combine Philadelphia and New Orleans, and have it be in a location that was close to my family and friends whom I love--there.

miss.sally · July 2019

@projectalice I’m so sorry that you’re in limbo. Especially because you have so much riding on this. Slow rising numbers don’t always mean that you’re out. Will they get you in for an ultrasound? Maybe your H will come around if you talk to him and have a heart-to-heart?

thescarletmom · July 2019

1. How many weeks are you? 4w3d

2. Previous loss(es)? Loss at ~10w summer 2009, 8w July 2015, CP July 2017, 6w Feb 2018.

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? I'm freaking trashed physically. I feel like there's no way I'm far along enough to feel this strongly like garbage. Super nauseated all the time but also hungry because eff me, puking at least once every couple days, crazy exhausted, my lower back is aching and all my muscles feel so tense. Plus headaches, and my emotions are out of control. I'm trying to take it one day at a time and remember that everything will be okay. My anxiety is just getting the best of me recently.

4. Any appointment updates? 1st appt with the midwife is Aug 9th. I'm going to try to schedule an ultrasound earlier that week because for some reason I have this weird feeling its twins 😳 they run in my family so I just want to confirm the number of babies hanging out in there.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Not today...maybe tomorrow lol.

6. Any milestones coming up? Already passed CP milestone, so now I just have a week and a half to get past my next one 🤞

7. GTKY: If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? Boston! I love the city so much.

kagesstarshroom · July 2019

@projectalice Lady, I am so sorry to hear this, but hope that it turns out to be fine despite the #s. I also hope YH and you can come to some sort of middle ground or understanding when he realizes how important it is to you to keep TFAS.

My heart goes out to you, so sorry for all the anxiety and heartache this is causing.

thescarletmom · July 2019

@projectalice thinking of you mama 🤞 like @miss.sally said, dont count yourself out yet! Hopefully if you have a come to jesus talk with your DH, you can help him understand how important this is to you. Its unfair for you to have so much pressure and emotions riding on something you can't control.

EmilyLove25 · July 2019

1. How many weeks are you? 6 weeks + 4 days

2. Previous loss(es)? D&C on May 8th. Baby stopped growing when I was 10-ish weeks but she only measured 9ish weeks.

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally, I’m ehhh glad I’m busy. It keeps my mind at rest. Physically, I finally started having some latent nausea. I’ve been close to puking a few times, but also super hungry on/off. Running definitely helps!

4. Any appointment updates? I seriously don’t know what to do, y’all. I’m too traumatized from all the appointments last time to make one… part of me wants to bite the bullet and call for an US this Thursday at 7 weeks, but the other part of me just wants to wait…

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Rave: It is 70 degrees and overcast here today. I just spent my lunch break running 5 miles of trails. It was amazing.

6. Any milestones coming up? Ehhh… 7 weeks is when I KNEW something was wrong last time (and conversely when I knew all was going well with my first two pregnancies, but if I don’t make an appointment this time, it’s like… is it a milestone?

7. GTKY: If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? I asked this question, but I actually live exactly where I want to live. I bought a house two doors down from my parents’ house (they still live there!). The neighborhood is a suburb of Cincinnati, but it is SUCH a great community for families, and I love being near so many people I know. So I want to live here, but Colorado would be nice too!

@projectalice Sending you hugs and hoping you get clarity soon. Try not to think in too extreme of terms. You never know where DH’s heart will be in a few months or with time.

@kagesstarshroom OMG great analogy (simile!!!!) with the roller coaster. It’s not TOO bad… but yes to feeling everything. I had some insomnia last night too, which made zero sense given how tired I was all day haha. Annoying!

treetop19 · July 2019

1. How many weeks are you? 7w3d

2. Previous loss(es)? CP, MMC at 8 weeks, loss at 13.5 weeks

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically, wiped out. I feel like such a slug it's hard to get anything done - all I want to do lately is lie around. And this off and on nausea isn't helping matters either. Emotionally, anxious.

4. Any appointment updates? next appointment is Aug 12

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? While I'm happy to be pregnant... I can't help but think I'm 'missing out' on some things this summer - I can't sit around campfires because the smoke smell nauseates me, I don't feel like being active... sigh. Summer just passes by so quickly. On the flip side, I'm really tired of the heat. Going outside is like instant nausea-trigger for me.

6. Any milestones coming up? I passed the CP.. coming up on the MMC. Everything is crossed. Though, with all of my previous pregnancies, the 3 losses and 2 successes, I remember much more nausea at 7 weeks than I've had this time around - other than my pregnancy with DD, which also involved milder nausea. the on/off nature of this nausea vs. constant nausea has me worried at times.

7. GTKY: If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? anywhere in the country, really - but not so far out you have to travel hundreds of miles to the nearest city.

@projectalice, my heart dropped when I read your update. please go easy on yourself and remember, none of this is your fault. hugs.

@miss.sally, keep us up to date on your ultrasound today!

@emilylove25, go for the appointment, I'd say. It just might put your mind at ease.

ruby696 · July 2019

1. How many weeks are you? 4+1

2. Previous loss(es)? Three MMC's and two CP's.

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically I'm tired, but that's it. Emotionally, I'm pretty guarded. I know the odds are not in my side.

4. Any appointment updates? Nope, I won't schedule one until about nine weeks, after I pass my loss milestones. For all my MMC's, I've had 3 or so weeks of follow up US's to see if there is any growth, HB, etc. I just don't want to do that again.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Nope.

6. Any milestones coming up? If I make it to Friday, I'll pass my CP milestones.

7. GTKY: If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? Mendocino, CA. It's my happy place. I spent lots of time there as a kid and I hope I can retire there someday.

miss.sally · July 2019

Hiiii! After an agonizing traffic-y drive, and over an hour wait because they were running behind, I finally had my ultrasound!!! Little bean was measuring a bit behind (which I assumed based on the fact that I’m pregnant and we had sex after when I originally thought I ovulated). Lol. But there’s a heartbeat! 118. Semi-low, but they weren’t at all concerned since I’m not even measuring 7 weeks yet. Right around 6+5. I’m not changing my due date until I talk to the OB though.

aerie_star · July 2019

1. How many weeks are you? 6w3d

2. Previous loss(es)? 1 mc, 1 cp

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally fine. Trying not to worry. Physically, I'm exhausted and have the slightest bit of morning sickness.

4. Any appointment updates? My first appointment is 8/15

5. Rants/Raves/Questions?

6. Any milestones coming up? Have passed both my losses.

7. GTKY: If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? In Disney World. Literally, in Disney World.

projectalice · July 2019

@kagesstarshroom I like Philly too actually. It's not that far from me.
I'm hoping that the 48 hour draw is more promising, but in my heart I feel it's going to be a loss. I worried when my progression lines weren't getting darker in the beginning like I had hoped. I'm really hoping my husband will come around and let me try again, and maybe just not tell him until it's safe. Not super hopeful though.
@miss.sally no, unfortunately they won't do an ultrasound for another 4 weeks!!! The 22nd of next month. Very frustrating. I'm getting another 2 draws this week, 48 hours apart this time, and if they aren't increasing like they should I'm just going to call it a loss and stop taking my progesterone.

@hellobabys thank you, I'm really going to try. He seemed adamant, but maybe... I do feel like it's my fault somehow though, because this would be my 4th loss, which is not normal. Something is wrong, and I feel like it must be me.
@EmilyLove25 I'm hoping so, but he's been saying this for over a year, so I'm not super hopeful he will change his mind.
@treetop19 I'm not doing great today, I've been depressed, anxious and angry. It's so unfair. Depending on the results this week I may call my fertility clinic and see about starting treatment after this if my husband is willing and this is another failed pregnancy.

kagesstarshroom · July 2019

@projectalice They refuse to do another u/s if you want one? That's c-r-a-z-y to me. I hope your #s look good this week.

I lived in Philly for a while and grew up right outside it! It's got a big place in my heart.

thescarletmom · July 2019

@projectalice there's not a single thing that could make this your fault. I've had four losses, and I think it's just that I'm incredibly unlucky. I have endo, but doctors have always told me it wasn't the problem. Early losses are usually problems with the sperm or egg and not mom ❤ regardless I'm thinking of you and hoping this week is better.

ruby696 · July 2019

@projectalice I'm so sorry that you're going through this and I hope you get better news this week. FWIW, I agree with @hellobabys - I've had five losses and they were due to egg quality. Please don't think that this is somehow your fault.

ruemcclanahan · July 2019

1. How many weeks are you?
5 weeks

2. Previous loss(es)?
One MC

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically?
I'm a bartender/server and oh my God I just like my whole shift. Way too many smells for me to handle.
Emotionally I'm still really anxious and taking tests almost every day to confirm im still pregnant.

4. Any appointment updates?
First appointment is August 7th but I think I'm going to call and ask for blood work

5. Rants/Raves/Questions?
Rave the guys at work are being so nice to me. The cooks are like "You get whatever you want whenever you want and no one can say no to you" 😂

6. Any milestones coming up?
I just passed my loss milestone so I'm pregnant for longer than I was last time. 🤞

7. GTKY: If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
Pre baby me always dreamed of living in NYC

projectalice · July 2019

@kagesstarshroom yeah it sucks they won't see me for a MONTH so the only clue I will have till then are my beta draws. I had to bug them to even get that.... Which is weird because last time he was super understanding and accommodating. I don't know what the deal is....
@hellobabys I really think I'm incredibly unlucky, but that really sucks.... Just my luck that the only luck I have is bad luck.

life isn't fair I guess.
@ruby696 how do you tell it's egg quality? Can you take anything for that? I've heard about CoQ10. My husband and I took it before I had my son but haven't taken it consistently since. Maybe that helped... I feel like bad eggs are my fault too, my body is just failing for some reason.

I donated eggs several times when I was younger and can't help but wonder about it... Maybe it's my age? I turn 35 this year.

ruby696 · July 2019

@projectalice This will be long - sorry. I'm 38, but had my first loss at 32 and then two LC, followed by a CP at 36, another at 37, plus two MMC's at 37. I saw an RE who did a lot of testing, including a test for my FSH. My results were 11.8. The internet and even the lab said anything under 12 is normal, but my RE said she likes to see it under 10. Given my loss history, she felt confident that my body was not able to gear up to produce as many eggs as it should, which meant it was more likely that I had less good eggs each month.

My RE has had me on low dose Aspirin as well as rx 4mg folic acid and vitamin B, plus a prenatal. I've also been taking Ubuqinol which is a form of CoQ10, but better for fertility, and DHEA. I've only been taking DHEA for the last three cycles and it's supposed to help with egg quality, so I'm hoping it helps this time. And mostly I'm just hoping I'll get lucky and get a good egg this time.

chichiphin · July 2019

I just want to pop in and say I will be lurking and lovetitting you all in this thread and may post certain weeks... I have a feeling my PGAL issues will get worse as I approach the NIPT/NT Scan as that is when we found out about the T13... sometimes though it is hard for me to participate here because my mental health declines... I hope this makes sense... but that is why creepy me will be lovetitting in here

projectalice · July 2019

@chichiphin I did that with ttgp. I would stop in and lurk and occasionally contribute. I had a hard time contributing frequently though.
@ruby696 thank you for writing all that out! If this doesn't work out and i can convince my husband, I'll go back to using ubuqinol and add the dhea and vitamin b.
Fx that you got a good egg this time!

Noodlepig · July 2019

@projectalice. Thinking of you. I have a son and then had two losses before going the ivf route this time around. I put a lot of blame on myself but testing actually shockingly showed most of the issue to be my husband. I also take thyroid meds now as my levels were 3.05 for tsh and anything about 3 can be connected with miscarriage risk. You are not alone and if you ever need to talk we are here.

Malidocious · July 2019

Hi ladies! It's lovely to meet you all. I'm scared to even post here because my pregnancy doesn't feel *real* yet and I'm terrified to jinx it, so to speak... but I feel like I'm bursting at the seams, wanting and needing to talk about this with someone, so here I am.

@projectalice I am so unbelievably sorry that your husband is being so difficult right now, during an already challenging time for you. Hang in there and keep your head up.

1. How many weeks are you? I'm honestly not sure, but I'm guessing I got pregnant around the mid-to-end of June, so probably 5ish weeks along. I feel like the biggest idiot because I was sloppy out of sadness and I have no idea when my conception date really is, just a ballpark figure.

2. Previous loss(es)? Miscarriage at the end of May this year... hence the sadness that lead to the sloppiness. Also a blighted ovum back in March of this year. 2019's been sad so far.

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Not great all around. The fact that I was able to get pregnant so quickly after a loss makes me feel incredibly grateful but I'm too scared that something bad is going to happen to this pregnancy, just like ones before it. Maybe I have bad eggs? Anyway, I am just beyond myself with worry at this point because I never had a period after my May miscarriage, so I took a pregnancy test on July 5th and it was positive. I took a handful more over the next few days and they were positive, too. First BD was on July 9th and my beta hCG was 390. Got a second BD two days later and my hCG had increased to 880. Got a third BD on July 16th because I wanted to verify the numbers were growing and my beta hCG was 4220. I'm having pretty painful breast pain on and off throughout most days (mostly in my nipples but it comes and goes), am eating literally everything (even foods I don't like necessarily), am so exhausted that my eyes feel heavy and want to close, am having headaches every day AND a runny/congested nose, and my uterus feels like it's expanding (mild but pretty incessant cramps, almost like light period cramps). I'm INCREDIBLY emotional, too. Everything is making me cry -- happy things, sad things, things that make me angry, lol. But with all that said, I don't really feel pregnant, or perhaps I'm just scared to. I don't know; I'm just not a happy camper despite wanting this baby more than anything. I want to just relax, but it's like I don't know how.

4. Any appointment updates? I have my first real appointment on August 14th and it's supposed to take a few hours. I'm scared that I won't even make it to the appointment, or that I will only to get delivered awful news in person. I'm just living my life terrified, obviously.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? I think I ranted enough already about how anxious I am, sorry about that. I don't really have any other rants or raves or questions, except I'm super excited to find out how far along I really am at my appointment in August.

6. Any milestones coming up? Well, I've already made it further along in this pregnancy than in my previous ones, so I'd say every day is a milestone right now.

7. GTKY: If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? This question is so hard because I feel like I could live pretty much anywhere so long as my boyfriend and my family are there... lol.

projectalice · July 2019

@Noodlepig thank you, I hope your pregnancy this time is uneventful! Ivf is a great thing, I wish I could afford it. Maybe when my son is older I'll work nights at a Starbucks and get a free round!

projectalice · July 2019

@Malidocious thank you, it is a little disappointing. Your numbers are great though, so that's a really good sign!

So I just realized I had some bloodwork done last year, does anyone know what it means?

AMH 5.29

TSH 1.090

HEMOGLOBIN A1C 5.3 (.4 away from prediabetes)

MTHFR Gene testing:

Result: C677T Single mutation (C677T)

Identified Interpretation: This individual is heterozygous for the MTHFR C677T variant (one copy). The MTHFR A1298C variant was not identified.

(Sorry, edited for clarity, I was in a hurry)

ruby696 · July 2019

@projectalice You have the same MTHFR mutation I do. MTHFR mutations may cause/contribute to miscarriage or congenital spinal defects because your body doesnt absorb as much folic acid, which is a synthetic form of folate. Your prenatal should have folate, not folic acid. Frankly though, a single variant of C677T is the least signficant variant you can have. There is no research that I'm aware of that proves a single variant of C677T causes miscarriages (although I still take folate to be safe). I'm not sure about your other results, but Google should be able to answer your question pretty quickly.

EmilyLove25 · July 2019

@Malidocious Welcome and CONGRATULATIONS! You are not alone, and I think I can speak for a lot of us when I say that fear, anxiety, and paranoia were some of the emotions I felt most intensely when I got a positive. My loss was in early May, so like you I feel both grateful and terrified. Your beta numbers are fabulous. And I will be 7 weeks tomorrow and am just now starting to feel pregnant. I also went back and looked at my pregnancy journals with my pregnancies for my daughter and son and in BOTH of them, from weeks 5-8 I kept writing, "I DON'T FEEL PREGNANT!" I think that is very normal this early. I am glad you are here!

Malidocious · July 2019

@EmilyLove25 Thank you so much for your kind words; you truly made me feel a bit better and I appreciate you taking the time to help ease my worries. Patience is not my strong suit, so having to wait until my August 14th appointment for more definitive proof, so to speak, is driving me bananas. I am glad to be here though, and hope to be around often for the next 9 months or so, fingers crossed! Congratulations and good luck with your pregnancy!

Malidocious · July 2019

@projectalice Thank you! It is taking everything in my power to not ask for another BD just to check my levels, but I am trying to hold out and be calm until my August appointment.

RanFan28 · July 2019

1. How many weeks are you? 7+2

2. Previous loss(es)? Blighted Ovum, 3/19

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally, I’m actually doing pretty good this week. The anxiety is always there, but I also have a lot of peace about just waiting for my appointment and knowing there is nothing I can do between now and then except be happy that “Today I am pregnant.” Physically, I’m still just having fatigue and then waves of nausea that are almost debilitating. Once they pass though, I’m good. Also, hello constipation. 🙄

4. Any appointment updates? First appt. and u/s on 8/6.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? I’ll rave about the “cold front” that came through Texas this week and made it feel like fall. Spending lots of time outside.

6. Any milestones coming up? No.

7. GTKY: If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? Somewhere in Europe, because it’s beautiful and such a rich history and from Europe you can easily and inexpensively get to all the other awesome places.

PGAL Check-In Week of 7/22

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