Monday B*tchfest 7/15

stassischroeder

stassischroeder

Started this for selfish reasons.

Went to the mall play area with DS on Saturday. There was this super trashy, anthropomorphous blob with her 8 kids at the play area. No biggie, except she constantly SCREAMED at her kids, but wouldn't get up off her ass to do anything. Instead, she made her oldest kids corral the youngest, and when this didn't work, she made the oldest kids bring the youngest kids to her so that she could smack them. 

Poor DS burst into tears at one point because this vile lady's scream scared him. Which made me tear up, too. #hormones. 

Needless to say we didn't stay very long. 

sunflower_auryn

Ugh @stassischroeder that sounds terrible. 

lm45678

@stassischroeder that sucks, I’m sorry! I know we’re not ever supposed to mom shame, but come on!!! You had all these kids, parent them! I hate how often stuff like that happens at play spaces. I have no shame disciplining someone else’s child of the hurt/upset/yell at my child at the parent is nowhere to be found.

lm45678

The main thing I want to bitch about is my lack of sleep. Between bad dreams, back pain, DD I have barely been sleeping. And the 200mg of caffeine rule isn’t helping! 

stassischroeder

@laurenm2123 I do my best to not judge other moms... but this was just too much. I don't believe in hitting your kids just because you can't be bothered to look up from your phone long enough to utilize any parenting strategies beyond screaming and hitting. 

stassischroeder

@laurenm2123 have you read Expecting Better by Emily Oster? It will put your mind at ease about the 200mg of caffeine rule. So sorry about the lack of sleep, though  Being tired makes everything worse!

ETA red and read aren't the same thing

alyssajr22

My b*tchfest is towards parents who are rude towards my kid. We took DS for a haircut this weekend. While he was in the chair, a couple came in with their baby in a stroller. DS LOVES babies and wanted to go say hi when he was done in the chair. He walked over, put his hand on the edge of the stroller and said "Hi baby!". I gently pulled him away and told him that he needs to be respectful of the baby's space and not get right in his face. No joke, the dad literally said, "Oh great. There's where our next cold is coming from."

Are you kidding me?! My child is healthy and it is just as possible for your child to get my child sick as it is for mine to get yours sick. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I just think you have to realize that kids getting sick sometimes is part of the parenting job. His comment came off as extremely rude and it took every ounce of me to not go off on him. 

silverhope

A very minor bitch: My last BMB I was very early to the group (found out early and my EDD was the 6th of the month), so I’m nervous about popping into this BMB later in the game. And the later EDDs find out the sex later and get their scans later...I’m gonna be so jealous of the early due date moms 

stassischroeder

@alyssajrob22 *eyeroll to that parent*


Anytime a parent (or anyone) makes a comment about illness/preventing illness in babies or kids I'm like "oh please, kids are going to catch every virus anyway, no matter what we do." It's just part of the gig. The only time I'm super vigilant about not sharing germs is with a newborn or immune-compromised child. 

stassischroeder

@silverhope don't fret! I know what you mean, but in a couple of months the regulars will become obvious and the randoms will fall away. So, even if your milestones are later in the month, you can still become a meaningful part of the group if you stick with it!

silverhope

@alyssajr22 wow. Can’t wait til his kid does the same thing in a few years.

Also he is welcome to stay home all day with his baby if he doesn’t want him/her to get sick.  

keeksie84

@stassischroeder That sounds like it was hard to watch!  I always feel so sad for kids with parents like that, (1) because they have to cope with that all the time, and (2) because that is where they are learning their own interpersonal skills.  Parenting like that has all kinds of residual effects.  

@laurenm2123 I hope you start getting some better sleep soon!  It's so much harder to deal with the day if you're sleep deprived.  I'll have to Expecting Better because I'm missing my second cup of coffee each day.

@alyssajr22 Not overreacting IMO.  That dad better get out the bubble wrap too if he's that scared of something happening to his kid.

@silverhope I have an April 18 baby too!  I was in the middle of my BMB board last time and did feel a little FOMO with others hitting their milestones first, but it wasn't too bad!

AFM:  My bitchfest loooong and boring and is beginning to really wear on me.  My parents are in Europe for a month (halfway through this week).  I'm super excited for them because it's the first big trip they've done together EVER and they're having a blast.  My grandma is almost 90 and her health is declining rapidly, so I've been checking in on her daily, just praying (not really, but wishing really hard) that she keeps it together long enough for my parents to return.  Additionally, I've been taking care of my parents' cat so I've been driving to their house 30 minutes away every other day to feed it and scoop poop.  It's an indoor cat and I wear gloves and a mask and it's still a fight with my husband, who doesn't want me doing it at all but is also working 14 hour days, 7 days a week and can't reasonably do it himself.  All of this has been manageable, but yesterday I got a call from the Rover.com sitter who is watching my parents' dog.  The dog has been having uncontrollable diarrhea for the past 5 days and she FINALLY called me to tell me.  So I had to find a sitter for DD and then drive 2 hours to pick up the dog, take it to the vet and then finally take it to my house so she can liquid poo all over my house.  My parents don't get home until the 24th and I'm counting the days until I can hand back some of this responsibility! 

TL:DR I'm tired of caring for my grandma, parents' cat and parents' sick dog while they are on a European cruise.  Someone send wine ice cream!

silverhope

@keeksie84 oh man, that is a lot to shoulder while your parents are gone. You are such a sweet daughter and granddaughter to do all this. Also the thought of liquid dog poop everywhere with pregnancy nose sounds awful. I’m sorry 

What’s your April baby’s bday? Jack was spsd to come May 6, but he was born 4/20. 

keeksie84

@silverhope Thanks! Totally #onlychildproblems. They watch DD full time for free, so I feel like it's the least I can do, but man I'm ready for a break!!

ETA April 19th! 

stassischroeder

@keeksie84 wow, that sounds like a HUGE pain in the ass! I can't wait for your parents to get back, either! If you want to shut your husband up about scooping cat litter:

  there's actually no evidence that women who clean the cat litter box or have cats are more likely to contract toxoplasmosis. You're far more likely to come into contact with toxoplasmosis from doing outdoor gardening. Check out Expecting Better by Emily Oster. 

stassischroeder

@keeksie84 @silverhope DS is a 4/4/18 baby   

keeksie84

@stassischroeder OK, I'm going to pick up the book today! Because poop and caffeine...and other things in sure. 

EmilyLove25

@keeksie84 Yikes the driving alone stresses me out. The 24th is pretty soon, so YAY! I hope it goes quickly!

stassischroeder

@keeksie84 prepare to have your mind blown! Absolutely do what you feel is best for you, your baby, and your family, but there's so much outdated/incorrect/disproportionate information out there regarding what's safe/not safe during pregnancy. 

jenEP

DH is working a lot the next few weeks (like 80 hours per week), traveling a few days, and backpacking with his buddies, so the girls and I are basically on our own. I am so anxious about how I am going to survive and be a calm, patient parent to my girls when I'm feeling so tired. I know there are so many single parents who do this all the time, so I don't feel like I can complain about it; I just know it will be a hard few weeks. 

keeksie84

@jenEP  80 hours is a lot! And good for you for "letting" him go backpacking with his friends. I feel like if it were me I'd make him stay home and help. I'm sending you positive vibes in the upcoming weeks. 

kantobean

@silverhope I relate! I was early in the BMB last time. Not first, but on the early end. I'm worried everyone in here has bonded already and I'm late to the party. @keeksie84 that absolutely sucks. I'm sorry! Glad your parents are having fun, though! Bitchfest: bodyshaming sucks and people shouldn't do it.

kagesstarshroom

@keeksie84 Sounds like you're already getting it, but +1 to that Emily Oster book, which I picked back up since I got my BFP last week. 

My BF is... Bc I don't get paid over the summer & DH is getting screwed on this one job he took on, we can't pay our bills rn! And the *three* editing jobs I thought I found over the last month have all either fallen through or ghosted. I neeeeed that money, ghosters! Also, it is raining & I have major cabin fever AND it means DH can't work again today. He is working on a pottery job he got, and apparently is getting that $ up front, but I haven't seen it & I'm the one that pays the bills. They  are piling up & making me nervous. I hate paying them late.

jenEP

@keeksie84 The backpacking trip is for his best friend's bachelor party so I feel really bad asking him not to go, especially since this pregnancy was a surprise and he made all these plans before I found out. But I am really anxious about how the next few weeks will go without him around. 

silverhope

@stassischroeder aw yay! That’s a few April 18 moms I’ve seen here already.

@keeksie84 I’m an only child too and that’s part of the reason why I wanted DS to have a sibling. I think it’d be nice to have a built in friend (hopefully). 

RanFan28

@stassischroeder I can’t. Let’s hope that that Mom was just having a really rough day and needed a minute. You can usually tell who’s having an off day and who’s having a regular day, though. 🙄

@alyssajr22 True story: There is couple at our church who won’t put there kids in the nursery until the age of 3, and have implied that people who bring their kids to church sick are irresponsible and selfish. They insist that their kid got sick at church ONE time, and not from the grocery store, or grandma’s house or the CrossFit gym they own. 🙄 Anyway! A few weeks ago, their kid came to church with a stomach bug, which he’d had symptoms of since Wednesday, and gave it to DS. I very kindly but firmly let the mom k ow that she had done the very thing that she found SO ghastly just weeks before. 

@silverhope @kantobean DS1 was a late December baby and I lurked for a hot minute before I joined in, and by the end, it didn’t matter. It IS weird to have others hit milestones that feel SO FAR away for you though!

@keeksie84 you.are.a.saint.the.end. 

AFM: With DS1 and DS2, I drank coffee my whole pregnancy, but with my CP in March, I couldn’t drink coffee without feeling super nauseated the rest of the day and it would seem that this baby feels the same way. I neeeeeeed the coffee.😭😭😭

kantobean

@jenEP that’s so hard. I’m whiny and I feel sorry for myself when I have to single parent for 24 hours! Haha

@RanFan28 that lady at church sounds like a real peach 🙄 I’m glad you told her off!

keeksie84

@kagesstarshroom I'm so sorry to hear that $$ is causing you to stress right now.  I totally know the feeling.  When will you start getting regular paychecks?  Hopefully you'll be able to catch up on things sooner than later and you won't have to deal with that stress.  

Thanks to everyone for the positive words!  The vet called today to ask how its going and I burst into tears on the phone.  I got some CBD oil and got the dog to choke some down, so I'm *really* hoping it will make a noticeable difference in her anxiety.  

kagesstarshroom

@keeksie84 I hope the doggie gets some calm vibes! Some dogs just have trouble being away from their people. Thanks for the support. I start getting paid again Sept. 1, but I am hopefully taking on an editing gig to bring in some income between now and then--hopefully more than one, but at least one is confirmed, just waiting for the work to come in so I can power thru it and Get Paid.

keeksie84

@kagesstarshroom Before I was a teacher, I was a teacher's assistant and didn't get paid over the summer.  It's sooooo hard.  FX for some more editing gigs coming your way!

miss.sally

Omg @stassischroeder there was a lady like that at the water park yesterday and I had to walk away. 🙄 Its hard not to be judgy. 

My bitchfest seems small in comparison to some of these. H is driving me nuts today. We got home from our trip and I unpacked, took the kids to the pool so he could get work done, cooked dinner, cleaned the kitchen, and as I was getting DS ready for bed he made a comment about how I unpacked all the suitcases except his and didn’t even carry it upstairs! WTF H! 

EmilyLove25

@kagesstarshroom I SO meant to tell you about the-efa-org on TTGP and don't think I remembered to do so. You should go on there and make a profile (include a picture, because it helps). EFA is the editors freelance association. I'm not saying you can make a living on there, but if you are persistent and develop a good profile, you really can make some money!

ETA I'm not entirely sure how you do that, but I know some of my friends have done it. ETA round two. WTH I just checked and you have to be a member to start a profile, which costs money. So dumb!!!

mrsvp614

@stassischroeder That makes me ragey and also super sad for those kids. A few months ago, I was waiting to pick up food at a restaurant and a dad was threatening to beat his kid and telling him how bad it was going to hurt, and it made my stomach hurt. 
Also, I just ordered Expecting Better for my Kindle. I read a lot during my first pregnancy, but this sounds like I could still learn a lot this time around.

@alyssajr22 Those parents sound like d*cks. There's absolutely no need to shame another child for being friendly, especially when you had it handled.

@silverhope My first EDD was the Aug 31st, so I hung out in both Aug & Sep BMBs. The September one got super cliquey and fell apart, and I'm still close to the Aug ladies now. There were babies born as early as June, and DS's birthday was 8/20. As a FTM, I enjoyed being later, so I had a better idea of what to expect.

@keeksie84 That sucks sooo bad. Hopefully dog quits pooping everywhere!

@kagesstarshroom I really hate financial stress! It's the core of most of our arguments.

@miss.sally Men can be so clueless. I don't understand how they can completely fail to realize all the stuff their partner is doing, and focus on the one thing we didn't do, when they can do it themselves. *eye roll*

mrsvp614

AFM, I had a crazy annoying and awkward team meeting at work yesterday. I seriously think our GM is losing his mind. We're all talking about how uncomfortable it was.

I'm sure I'll have more to bitch about today. We're switching internet providers, so AT&T is supposed to come to my house in their two hour window this morning, but installation could take 4 hours! That's my time to sleep after work! Andplusalso, DH is telling me, "make sure they don't do this, and they do that," with this modem, router, crap, and I'm not interested in supervising them while they're here. 

stassischroeder

@MrsVP614 Yup, my stomach totally hurt watching this lady with her kids, and I almost cried when DS cried. To me, those situations are far beyond the "lets not judge other parents" category. 
And you'll love Expecting Better! I have the audio version, and am considering getting a hard copy so that I can reference certain topics more easily. It's broken down by topic, so you can pick and choose what to read based on what you're dealing with at the time. They should start paying me royalties because I recommend it so much lol. 
Ugh, sorry about the awkward team meeting. FX you can find a better work situation soon. And I'd be ragey if I had to skip sleep to supervise internet people! If DH has so much to tell them, he should've written it down or instructed them to call him when they get there. 

stassischroeder

@miss.sally ooooooooooh I would've gone off on YH! He would've been quivering in the corner by the time I was done with him!

miss.sally

@stassischroeder I was too tired to start a fight. So I gave him serious side eye and went to put DS down. 😂

kagesstarshroom

@emilylove25 Thanks, but dammit on the pay-to-play thing-- I appreciate that you were thinking of meeee! I wish I'd signed up for something like that in advance of...having like no $? But hindsight is 20/20... I have so many feelers out right now for editing work, it seems something has to come around soon!

lm45678

@keeksie84 I’m so sorry you’re dealing with all of that!! How stressful! I hope everything gets easier soon and you get a well deserved break!

iiirene

What I really need is a Friday bitchfest. I started a summer camp at the school I teach at and have not received payment from the school. I have spoken with both our accountant and principal. Both have given me the impression that they would sort it out and that I would get paid in the next pay period. Guess who didn’t get paid today. I am furious! How can you not pay someone for the work they have done? And why is it my job as a teacher to figure out how I get paid?If I knew this would be such an issue I would have gotten a different summer job. It feels like just one more added stress on this pregnant lady that I really don’t need right now.