UO Thursday - 7/11

stassischroeder

UO = Unpopular Opinion

Guys, this is where it starts to get really fun!



Lay out your most unpopular opinions and bring on the drama and snark. Kidding. Sort of. Not really.   

stassischroeder

I'll start us off.

I don't understand why people forgo NIPT or any other optional prenatal testing. I hate the "well, I wouldn't do anything about it anyway" argument, and hate when people assume that women who want the testing are termination-happy. 

I want AAALLLL the testing and AALLL the information about my baby (to clarify, I won't do an amnio or anything unless the NIPT comes back abnormal). I want to be prepared for any issues that my baby may have - like I'll be recruiting the nation's best specialists. Ignorance isn't bliss if you're talking about my baby's health. 

And, god forbid, if there is an abnormality that isn't compatible with life, I'd like to know ahead of time rather than being surprised by a later term miscarriage or a newborn with a short life expectancy. 

mrsvp614

@stassischroeder Agree with you 100%
My aunt has Turner's syndrome and my brother has a genetic disorder, so I want to be prepared for anything.

I also hate with people do NIPT only to focus on the sex, and forget that there's way more important info in those tests.

I do get nervous though... *TW*

A mom in my previous BMB had completely normal NIPT testing, but her son was born with two extremely rare genetic issues and did not make it  

So to piggyback off of that, I'm not cool with "gender" reveals. First of all, they're sex reveals, not gender. 
Yes, I'll watch them sometimes, and I get that it can be exciting, but it's not my thing. Especially when they're super public. 
I was team green the first time around and absolutely loved it, but I get that it's not for everyone. We may find out this time around because DH wants to. But I'm not throwing a party about my kids genitalia. 

stassischroeder

@MrsVP614 ugh, I hate that there's still so much left to chance even with NIPT/NT scan. But I also get that an amnio isn't worth the money or risk if there aren't any indications that it's needed. And I absolutely get NIPT for the genetic information alone, the sex is an afterthought. Not sure we'll find out anyway. 

I, too, find big sex reveals cringy, and agree that it's sex not gender. I'm not entirely sure I can go team green just because it's my personality to not need any more surprises at the birth other than a new tiny human (if that makes any sense), but I give zero sh*ts about how my baby pees. Also, I'm doubtful that DH and I can agree on TWO names let alone one   

keeksie84

@stassischroeder This.  I'm totally with you on this.  I think the more information the better.  I want to be able to make the most informed decisions about my child.  Plus, I'm just not a fan of unknowns.

@MrsVP614 Thank you!  On a scale of -5 to 5 (zero being neutral), I'm only a -2 on sex reveal parties but I'm a -5 on calling them "gender" reveal parties.  Come on people, it's 2019.  Can't we figure this out?

My UO is when people make up the spelling of their child's name (e.g. Aahlijah or Melyzza) or straight up just make something up.  As a teacher, I see all kinds of crazy names and how annoying it is for students to have to constantly correct the spelling or pronunciation of their names.  Often times in middle school, kids won't even speak up so they'll go a whole semester having their teacher mispronounce or misspell their name.

stassischroeder

keeksie84 said:

*SNIP*

My UO is when people make up the spelling of their child's name (e.g. Aahlijah or Melyzza) or straight up just make something up.  As a teacher, I see all kinds of crazy names and how annoying it is for students to have to constantly correct the spelling or pronunciation of their names.  Often times in middle school, kids won't even speak up so they'll go a whole semester having their teacher mispronounce or misspell their name.

I sincerely hope that this isn't an UO in this group. I will straight up judge and call out anyone for speshul snoflayke spellings or made up names. Cultural names I understand, however. 

rainbowdashh

My husband and I found out with our 4th baby that we both are carriers for a genetic disorder. I'm all about all the testing. I'll be having a CVS in a couple weeks. I don't understand why people wouldn't want as much info as possible! Our disorder isn't something picked up by NIPT though, so I guess sometimes you are just blindsided. 

I had a bunch of things to say until I opened this thread and now I can't remember a thing. I hate that.

stassischroeder

@rainbowdashh I've been considering a CVS since NIPT doesn't pick up everything. Although its tough because, since I'm AMA, insurance will likely cover NIPT and NT scan (they didn't last time), but probably wouldn't cover a CVS unless something pops up in the NIPT/NT. 

ETA I've been genetically tested and am BRCA1+ plus I'm a carrier for Familial Dysautonomia. BUT, unless DH is a carrier for FD too, there's no chance of our child be affected. FD is almost exclusively found in Ashkenazi Jews, which I am and my husband is not. And, according to my doctor, it's something that hasn't been seen in 50+ years. In other words, there are still carriers out there, but hasn't been anyone born with the actual disorder for 50 years. 

ETA again - looked up my results and added more details

varimama

Honestly we won’t be doing early testing and it’s not that I don’t care it’s that our insurance doesn’t cover it and our OOP cost would be too high. We were quoted at almost $800 last time. I kind of want/wanted to do it last time anyways but I really could t make a good justification to DH when our dr assured us we’d have plenty of time to find specialists at 20 weeks. I will prob call insurance again this time just to be sure but I highly doubt they added coverage most likely they took more away...

stassischroeder

@varimama if you talk to the testing company themselves, they often offer a discount for when insurance doesn't cover it. Like if we had submitted it to insurance and it wasn't covered it would've been $1000+, but since we knew insurance didn't cover it the testing company gave us a discounted rate of $250. And they accept payments. Our testing company was called Counsyl, and the test was the Prelude Prenatal Screen. 

varimama

@stassischroeder oh wow that is interesting! Thank you I will have to look into it! 

miss.sally

I’m with all of you on genetic testing. We will absolutely be testing again with this little babe. 

Also +1 on the words name spellings. If it’s the same name, does it really name it unique to spell it differently?! 🤦🏼‍♀️

momoftoddlers

I love the movie What to Expect When You’re Expecting and I watch it regularly when I need a good preggo laugh. 

EmilyLove25

@keeksie84 YES I totally agree with you… WHY?

 @stassischroeder and @MrsVP614 I have zero interest in doing a sex reveal (and agree it should be called a sex reveal), but I don’t mind when other people do them? I love that people get so excited about having a baby, so anything celebrating that I’m there for (iphone shrug emoji goes here).

Yes @stassischroeder 100% agree on testing.

mrsvp614

@stassischroeder I am admittedly a tough critic when it comes to names. I tend to favor traditional names, or at least names that are actually names. 

mrs-howard

@keeksie84  Yes!!! I am also a middle school teacher. My whole team said a kids name wrong for two months. During the conference, mom freaked out be cause we weren’t pronouncing Jhonatan correctly. The h was not silent. 

lm45678

I’m so boring! It’s so hard to come up with a UO!!

Totally against made up names with crazy spellings!

I’m one for testing and did it all last time around and I’m a carrier for a million things. Thank god my husband isn’t and we don’t have to re-do any of that drama. But i absolutely will find out everything about this baby specific to then

EmilyLove25

Ok, I am sure we will get more engaged as time goes, but...

Your/you're... I can't take repeat offenders with regards to this seriously especially when they claim to be "smart." A random text slip up, okay fine, but come on...

miss.sally

@EmilyLove25 amen, sister. I cannot deal with grammatical errors in general. It is Not. That. Difficult. It always amazes me when very intelligent people cannot use the correct their, they’re, there, or you’re, your. Like come ON people. 

Also I will say pregnancy rage heightens the sensitivity to said peeve. 

lemonlove86

@EmilyLove25 @miss.sally the worst offense for me is “apart” and “a part!” I see so many posts like, “I’m so glad I could be apart of your special day!” Apart is the opposite of a part!! 

kagesstarshroom

@stassischroeder you probably already know this, but i'm a DEFINITE +1 for disliking gender reveals & yeah, they ARE sex reveals. 

@rs0806 MH always argues "a lot" should be one word, like "alot." I am like-- no, no it should not.

@EmilyLove25 @miss.sally I actually, as a grammar queen forgive people for most grammatical errors bc I know how easy they are to make? They only annoy me when someone has spent a lot of $ to get something printed. OR, if I am mad at that person/trying to prove them wrong about something--then I'm like, "Actually, that should be 'He whom you trust...'" + ::menacing stare::

stassischroeder

@kagesstarshroom I'm sure you've seen this, but I adore it and your DH should see it. 

varimama

@EmilyLove25 I once broke up with a guy for repeatedly mixing up your:you’re and there/their/they’re in texts. He had some other issues too but that was like the straw that broke the camels back 🤣

@kagesstarshroom I had a teacher in high school correct my paper once and she crossed out “a lot” and wrote “allot” over it 🤦🏻‍♀️ I could not respect her after.

 I’m usually not so picky about grammar bc I find some of it hard myself but if someone is repeatedly making simple mistakes or are incorrectly correcting me I can’t respect that person anymore.

edited bc mobile screwed up my spacing 

mrsvp614

@varimama Those offenses are definitely dump worthy. Also, I wonder if that teacher has ever/will ever discover she was wrong and look back and be like... oops!!! 
I’ve seen a lot of teachers use wrong words on Facebook and it makes me crazy. My aunt included. Like how did you make it through teaching for decades?