July FTM Check-ins

mc0303

Hi new mamas!! How's everything been going? Figured out registry items? Feeling okay? Excited? Terrified? Let's chat!

I didn't have a set of questions, but if you'd like to check in that way, we can

alaluap

I made a babylist registry and my SIL/mom LOVE it! Invites for my shower haven't gone out yet, but I asked both of them to check it out (my SIL to ask her what I'm missing and my mom to get feedback on how the older generation feels about it). Such a relief since it's so much easier than registering at one store and not necessarily being able to select the products I want.

mc0303

@alaluap! Yay!! So glad they loved it! took a stab at mine too and then asked my sister what she would recommend. And she was like definitely a lot of burp cloths....and literally I had all this crap and no burp clothes or towels or anything else that made sense lol. It made me feel like oh crappp I have no idea what I’m doing. 

I’m stressing about the shower bc my only task was to give a list of names and emails to invite but it’s been a lot harder than I thought! 

I’ve also been getting more and more overwhelmed with feeding options. I just have no clue what me nor baby will be most comfortable with. 

natehk

2 wks ago my 6 yr old niece came over...and asked us why we didn't have any baby things yet!  Cue the freak-out!   we literally knew nothing and I was just focused on getting through the pregnancy.
Since then I have started our registry and have also started researching baby things.  My sister who has a 6 month old has been a great help, and she also recommended a site called Lucie's List.  Its amazing for detailed explanations of what you really need, brands, reviews, etc.   A co-worker also sent me the Baby Bargains book, which is similar, but focuses on what you need to spend $$ on.   My friend who has a 2 yr old and lives in the neighborhood also offered to go to buy buy baby with us and help us navigate and tell us what she found useful.  I'm thankful for the help - but still a little overwhelmed... 

alaluap

@mc0303 I had a similar problem with my wedding shower guest list! I let my mom and my MIL handle the family invites and then I checked my text message history to decide which of my friends would actually want to be there (based on who I've spoken with recently etc)

@natehk My husband and I find baby stores so overwhelming! We went to a smaller one just to get some actual help from a sales associate. Our first trip to Babies R Us was 'an exercise in exposure' haha. One thing at a time...

mc0303

@alaluap 😥 the invite lists are so hard!! We’re also friends with couples so it kind of just doubles everything. I feel weird inviting so many people for something someone else is throwing for me! 

And I agree those baby stores are so overwhelming! MH and I went to Buy Buy Baby and thought it would be fun to just look around and it was definitely not fun 😂 because we had no idea the purpose of all that stuff

blg116

I like this check-in style! I like the weekly check-ins, but I get bored with the same questions over and over. I like the idea if the open chat

I started a registry on Amazon, and it's tough. MH says put everything, including stroller and car seat and stuff, so we can get the completion discount if it doesnt get purchased. But I'm soooo hesitant to put anything over like, $30. I dont want ANYONE to feel obligated to spend money on the child I decided to create. 

As far as baby shower invites, it was easy to think of who I wanted to invite until I got to MHs cousin (idk if anyone remembers the story about that bitch, it's in one of the Twat Waffle posts from a few weeks back) and my mom. Both are people that I need to invite out of necessity to keep the peace (just trust me when I say it is not worth the hell either of them would raise to not invite), but I'm very seriously considering either putting a wrong date on their invitations, or putting "invite is for informative purposes only. You're really not wanted" at the bottom (kidding...sort of). 

alaluap

Agreed  - the open chat is a nice switch up.

@angieeeeee I agree with your husband - though I had the same feelings when I put together my wedding registry. Firstly, completion discounts are awesome, and secondly, sometimes groups of people want to go in on a bigger gift together (like a couple of my aunts want to split the cost of a crib for us). Also, remember that people want to help you out and they know baby stuff is $$. If you're still nervous, maybe note that you welcome offers of homecooked meals and future babysitting services in lieu of gifts?

creamcheeseplease

lurking since I'm a STM

@angieeeeee you can make certain items on your registry private, at least on amazon I think. So it won't show up to other people, but you can still purchase it and get the discount. And also I agree with @alaluap that people sometimes go in on a bigger gift, I have done this several times for girlfriends' baby showers. 

mc0303

@angieeeeee I did what @creamcheeseplease is saying and made some things private. There’s also a button to make it possible for people to contribute to one item. I did that for anything over $100. 

Ugh I feel you on wanting to tell people that they’re not really invited 😂 I really don’t want my SIL there, but I’m inviting my other SILs that I really like and it would be kinda weird if I invite some but not the one. I think I’ll have the invite sent to everyone else and to them like 2 weeks before so it’s likely they won’t be able to swing it 🙈 

kopp5988

@angieeeeee I agree with @mc0303, I’m planning to make larger items have a contribute button because I know there are people that would rather get a practical gift than just more cute blankets or clothes. I figure this way they can spend the same amount but put it towards say a stroller or car seat instead. 

blg116

Thanks for kinda helping my conscience on that one ladies

alaluap

My husband felt his son kick for the first time last night and, for a man who "can't physically cry" (🙄) his eyes were awfully red and wet-looking.