Baby's Father didn't take it well

blaidd_drwg87

I'm 32 years old, I suffer from endometriosis and had a miscarriage at 20 weeks due to trophoblast's disease in 2007. Because of my gyn issues, my doctor told me for years that it was very unlikely I would be able to conceive. Well, joke's on her, because I'm definitely pregnant! 
I had resolved myself to the fact that I wouldn't have kids, and I was becoming okay with that. So I'm very excited about this surprise pregnancy. I just wish I could say the same for my partner. 
He and I have been together for a little over a year. The entire time we have talked about marriage and how we both want children (and I let him know of my fertility issues). We even went as far as talking about names. Fast forward to this weekend when I told him the joyful news....he took it horribly, not at all how I expected. He said he was scared and unstable (he retires from the Air Force in 2021, he is 36), and doesn't  know what kind of work he will be able to get when he retires. He even asked me repeatedly "can we wait?", and I have not heard from him for days. 
I'm at a loss right now and want to give him time to process, but I also want to use some choice words to tell him how I feel about him right now. 
Have you been I  this situation? What did you do? Any advice? 

DDRRT1982

I am sorry you didn’t get the response you had hoped for.  While his response isn’t exactly joy filled it is within his right to be scared and nervous.  But, don’t despair.  Many people have not so great initial reactions about unplanned pregnancies, but go on to be excited once the news is processed.  My very own husband, father of four of my kids, was like “what?!?!?” when I told him, but that doesn’t mean he wont ultimately be excited and a fabulous father.  He was just shocked and it was unexpected.  I bet your SO will come around.  Becoming a parent is scary even if your pregnancy is planned.  I hope he comes around soon.  

We are so excited to have you here, so please change your username so we can identify your from all the other knottiest.

 Good luck!

blaidd_drwg87

Thank you for that, it makes me feel a little bit better to hear that. 
I have my fingers crossed that he just needs some time to process before he comes around. If not, I'm prepared to do things alone. 

brookert615

@blaidd_drwg87 It's truly a miracle you ended up getting pregnant with endo! It's never a "good time" to get pregnant. I would give him time, hope he does come around. When you get a chance can you please intro on the "Introduce Yourself" thread? There are a handful of helpful pinned posts, too .

blaidd_drwg87

Sure thing! Thank you!