Checking in - TW: Loss (briefly) and BFP,

optimism3

I don't know if posting a separate post is appropriate here, but I didn't want to post in the weekly update thread because I couldn't do a trigger warning and I also did want to send an update just to explain my absence and  make sure people knew I wasn't a "fly-by-night poster" who just bailed on the board if that makes sense. I also do hope that maybe my experience offers some hope (I had little myself). Anyway, currently have a BFP after IUI #5 (second one with injectables).  I say "currently" because we're still not exhaling and are living from one doctor's appointment to the next which I think is normal for anyone who had a MC before. I've been reluctant to post because I still very much feel like I belong on this board (I count myself as trying still and not having arrived), and I don't want to "jinx" myself (as if that were possible). We just had the first US today, but next week's will be an important one. I'm used to this feeling of living in limbo. and holding my breath from the months and months of trying - this is just a different version. Anyway, hopefully this post does give some hope. I was using this cycle to just bide my time until our insurance would cover IVF and I had really low expectations. I went for a second opinion just before this cycle and that doctor put our information into some calculator they'd developed and then told me we had a 6% chance of our 5th IUI working - so the expectations were pretty non-existent. MY TWW was busy and kept me completely distracted with some major things happening at work, so I didn't symptom spot for the first time. I took a HPT after feeling nauseous the day before my beta and feeling momentarily hopeful. I literally took it so I could confirm for myself I wasn't and could just go into the beta knowing solidly it was a no instead of being let down. So, it's exciting and scary and all the things. I don't know what will happen and may be posting again soon, although of course I hope this one is meant to be. Thanks to everyone for the support this last cycle. Not saying bye here and will be lurking to see how everyone is doing. Maybe eventually we can all be on a different board together. 

hithertorue

So happy for you! And yes, I do love hearing those kind of successes too!

I hope your wait in limbo is not long and you and your DH can truly mentally graduate to the PAIF side!

Also pray we will all join you there soon. 

I'll be reverse hovering on the other boards to look for updates on you. Wishing you well.  FX for your US next week. Come back and give us an update if you're up for it.

sincethelastday

Congratulations!! I really hope this waiting period goes by quickly and that you only continue to get good news and results! How amazing after a 6% chance!! Definitely gives me some hope for my own journey with IUIs. 

Stay as long as you need; it’s understandable that you would want to stick around until things are a little more solid. Let me know when you feel comfortable to move forward and I can add your name to the BFP grad list!! 

knockupthestock

Congrats!! How exciting. I can understand your trepidation, but FX and praying that you just keep getting positive news! Thanks for sharing, and giving us some hope.  I hope you stick around and let us know how things are going!

inthewoods23

@optimism3 I totally get wanting to stay. I think many stick around a little until they've been graduated by their RE. Congrats!! Hope things continue to go well!

sara_tory

I'm late here but just wanted to say congratulations and I hope the second test confirmed it for you  

chiblackhawkie

Congrats. I truly hope this is the one.

2dogsmom

Congrats!! I hope everything continues to go well!!

2dogsmom

Thinking about you @optimism3 and wondering how it’s been going. I hope all is going smoothly.... would love to hear an update. 

optimism3

BFP warning. 

Just coming back to answer @2dogsmom. Graduated from RE today. Still holding my breath but so far so good. I wanted to pass on just 2 things. On a practical point - I’m now a believer that your thyroid is an important part of all this and in my experience REs don’t worry about it much. My very first IUI my TSH (a thyroid measure) was 3.6. The RE said they want it between 1-2 for trying and put me on meds but when we couldn’t find the right dose she took me off meds. I did 4 IUIs with an elevated TSH and she was never too concerned. Often, they didn’t even test it until after the cycle started. I started to read about it, got more concerned and sought out an endocrinologist on my own. She did a full panel, diagnosed me as hypothyroid and as having Hashimotos (a condition where your immune system attacks your thyroid, leading to higher TSH levels). She switched my meds, I took 2 months off to get my levels down, then got pregnant on that next IUI. I’m not a doctor but I have to think they’re related. If anyone is concerned about this it’s worth checking on and getting an actual endocrinologist instead of just the RE. Also, just a note that a lot of doctors are following the outdated model of a TSH is only too high once it hits 5 or even above. My doc said new studies suggest it should be under 2.5 generally and 1-2 if trying.

Related to that I just wanted to affirm trusting your gut. No one told me to go to an endocrinologist or pin down my thyroid. Every time my RE measured it was because I asked. We know our bodies and while my doc was great, it’s easy to get lost in the shuffle at a practice so I now feel like we shouldn’t be shy about pushing things.

I hope this didn’t come off too preachy or annoying. We all have different roads but I just wish someone had flagged the thyroid for me sooner or that I’d trusted myself sooner to push it so thought I’d mention. Looking forward to seeing you on another board and thanks for all the support. Everyone here is in my thoughts. 

knockupthestock

@optimism3 thank you so much for your post! I've had hypothyroidism since I was in middle school. When I went to see my RE for the first time, she said that my TSH levels were still in the normal range but that they liked to see them in the 0.5-2 range, so she upped my dosage of synthroid. They tested me a couple months later and said it was good and kept me on it. Well, your post made me curious about how my thyroid was doing, so I asked my RE to order a TSH to do at the same time as my beta on Monday. The results came back and they're actually OVER treating me....my levels were 0.2! So they adjusted the medicine back down to try to get me in a good range. That explains so many symptoms I've been having! So again, thank you for your encouragement and message, it helped me a lot! 

optimism3

So great @knockupthestock - crazy how your thyroid can make you feel! 

2dogsmom

@optimism3 glad all is going well for you! Congratulations again