Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss


I'm new here.. I just lost my first after trying for 5 years. My SO and I would like to do some sort of memorial to remember him/her by. I didn't even make it to my first ultrasound so I have no pictures or anything. I know we would like to pick out a gender neutral name for our little nugget. Any suggestions for any of this would be so helpful. 

Also we have an appointment on the 5th to make sure everything has passed and it's on his birthday.. If anyone has any suggestions on how to make this day a little better for him that would be great.. 

Re: Memorial

  • I’m I’m sorry for your loss.   I have memorial stones in my garden and planted perennials by each one that way I have a place to go.  We didn’t name ours since they were all so early.  I also plan to get a tattoo.  As far as making your appointment easier, I found that appt difficult for me just having to be back in the dr office knowing I wasn’t pregnant anymore.  So I don’t really have any advice.  Maybe try and do something with DH to take your mind off everything afterwards 
  • I hate that you're going through this. It is sucktacular. My partner has video on his phone of the first ultrasound, but we never got any pictures either. I think for both of us, our biggest regret is that we didn't know the sex of the baby. We called ours Spawn. My SO and I plan to get tattoos later, and I also bought an infant/pregnancy loss ribbon charm for my Origami Owl. 
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  • We decided to plant poppies since when we first found our that we were expecting the baby was the size of a poppy seed according to my app. 
    As far as a name he likes Parker but the last name also starts with a P and I'm not completely set on it, but I think I might let it be. 
  • @blackrose-9 So sorry that you’re going through this, it’s truly awful. I just had a D&C last week and still processing it all. I got a memory box for the pregnancy test, cards from our families, and I also wrote a letter to our baby. Honestly the letter gave me a lot of closure, basically explaining that even though I wasn’t pregnant that long it was an honor to be their mama and that I learned so much and grew because of their life, albeit short. 
  • I’m so sorry for your loss. We received flowers from friends during our first MC and we took petals and wrapped them in a strip of my wedding gown (leftover after alterations) and buried them at my MIL’s grave. You’re prob technically not supposed to dig in a cemetery but whatever. It helped to feel like one of our parents was watching over our nugget. We haven’t done anything for our second loss, not sure why. It feels like both losses are captured by that burial act so I feel some peace there. I’ve thought about a tattoo, as well.

    I hope you can find some peace through a memorial or ritual. Take it one day at a time and mourn in whatever way helps you. 
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