The Baby Shower Thread!

kgg2241

I know a lot of us are starting to think about baby shower logistics, or are being asked for input from our friends and family members. This is a place to ask questions, look for advice, share ideas, AW your cute decorations/invites, etc. 
STM+ please jump in with advice and experience!

Credit: August 2019 BMB, who credited the April 2018 BMB

kgg2241

I've noticed some baby shower comments popping up here and there, so I figured I'd get a thread started. BTW, I just spent like 15 minutes looking for the perfect GIF for this thread and just couldn't find one. 

My big shower is planned for mid-July. I am super excited because I didn't get a true wedding shower, and I feel really loved that my friends are putting so much thought and effort into planning this for me. The theme is "You Are My Sunshine." I am a little disappointed because I already know a lot of people wont make it though. July weekends are just hard with so many vacations and travel plans. I am also super bugged at my mom because she doesn't want me to invite my grandma or really any extended family on her side (aunts, cousins, etc.). She says that they won't want to drive that far (an hour) and that my grandma is too old and will just be confused the whole time. It is really because she is mad at my grandma right now and is being catty. I'm trying not to be mad, but it still sucks. 

Anyways, no questions. Just getting this party started . 

threes_companypu

@kgg2241 I’m sorry your mom is putting a little damper on the whole thing by bringing her own issues into your big day. I think the courtesy of extending the invitation would be appreciated by your family members even if they weren’t able to make the drive! A lot of people still like to send gifts even if they can’t make it. You are my sunshine sounds like an adorable theme. I hope we get to see pictures!

Im excited for all the baby showers that will be happening! Since this is #2 we won’t be having anything, so I’m going to be living through you all!

zuuls_mom

@kgg2241 that’s really sad your mom is being difficult about who you can invite to YOUR shower! Is she sure your extended family won’t be hurt to not get an invite? I’ve driven an hour plus to see family and a baby shower is special! It’s especially unfair that she doesn’t want your grandma there just because they’re fighting. Get over it for one day, mom! 

I am SO EXCITED to hear about everyone’s showers!! Since I’m a STM I’m not having another one, but the one I had for DS was perfect! My mom, grandma and best friends all planned it together and it was a baby giraffe theme (not super decorated, just cups, plates, napkins and cake that had the giraffe on them). I loved how simple it was and having all the women I loved in one room. MIL and SIL even drove in 5 hrs for it which meant so much to me. 

My advice is to stand your ground on what you want and who you want there. Most people only do this once so it should be special! If you don’t want ridiculous games, say something! I am not a fan of baby shower games so I made it known I didn’t want any since they tend to disrupt the flow and take up a lot of time. I just wanted people to be able to relax and chat. We did do the clothespin game (everyone gets a clothespin at the beginning and if you’re heard saying the word “baby” someone gets to steal it from you) since that doesn’t take any designated time and it was fun seeing who won at the end! We also did a diaper raffle. Everyone brought diapers or wipes. While that was amazing at the time, we wound up with soooo many diapers that we didn’t use (either brands that didn’t work for us or sizes we outgrew too quickly) so I ended up donating or passing on like 6 boxes. 

cmdesigner

I am cautiously excited for our shower. The invites went out last week and people are starting to reach out. Our shower is going to be...huge...but we didn't have a wedding so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ MH and I decided that we wanted to have a big cookout in our backyard and have it just be super chill. My dad is an executive banquet chef, so he is doing all the food prep for us. It's really just going to be all of our family and friend (like, a ridiculous amount) celebrating the baby. Plus, we bought out house in November so this is an opportunity for people to come see the house for the first time.

In terms of theme, we're keeping it fairly simple with bright, fun colors. Nothing wild. Photos in spoiler of basic decorations.

Also...I'm a control freak. So I told everyone exactly what I wanted and they're just...doing it.

lillywonderland

Ooooo! So excited for all the baby showers!! I *think* my Mom and I will be hosting my sister’s in October so I might be needing some inspo!! No shower for me this time, but I’m hoping someone will take me out to Tea sometime before baby girl gets here! I’ll have to drop some hints soon...

My baby shower was super small - 15 people or so. It was woodland animal themed (heavy emphasis on Foxes 🦊). It was perfect and I loved it so!!

LJMoon6

I was actually just going to post about my baby shower blues. I’m super grateful that people are throwing me a shower (2 in fact). But I’m a little upset/saddened that the people throwing them are only doing it out of obligation. And they’re making it known.

MH’s aunt is only throwing me one because my MIL threw her DIL a shower. She’s at least putting more effort into it than my aunts are (Harry Potter theme!!!). My aunts/godmothers are throwing me one but only because that’s the “norm” in my family. They are making it clear that it’s a big hassle for them to plan and send invites and blah blah blah. It’s more work than they wanted to do this summer. I get it. It is a lot of money and they both have a lot going on this summer. Don’t make me feel like a burden tho. They’re not even sending invites to everyone. The people that have Facebook will only be getting a FB invite... Ok fine, whatever. I realize I’m like the one millionth cousin to have a shower in the last few years and that it’s nothing special to them anymore. But it’s a big deal to me! It took us a long time to get KU.

I just wish that someone who actually wants to celebrate this miracle with me were throwing me a shower.

zuuls_mom

@LJMoon6 well that’s gotta be hurtful! I’m sorry. For the record, I am SUPER excited for you to be KU!! I hope you have amazing showers and feel so loved 

themadcamel

@kgg2241 sorry to hear that your mom is being a pill about your invite list. "You are my sunshine" sounds like it'll be a great theme!

@zuuls_mom the baby giraffe theme sounds adorable. Thanks for the advice re. the shower games. I really don't want to put people through all of that.

@cmdesigner a cookout shower will be so much fun! It's nice that you'll get to celebrate the baby and the new house all at once.

@lillywonderland if I lived out there, I'd totally take you to tea. I love going to afternoon tea at various places near me. In fact, you've inspired me to try to organize an outing for this weekend!

@LJMoon6 what a bummer that they're making it seem like an obligation instead of something exciting that they want to do. Hopefully you'll be able to make the most of it. Will you be able to invite your close friends so you have people there who are as over the moon as you are?

My dad's family doesn't do showers because they follow the old Italian tradition/superstition that having a shower before the baby is born is bad luck, and my mom's side of the family live out of state. DH's family is super into showers and all of the "aunts" (only one is DH's actual aunt) are throwing one for me. They were hoping to have it at MIL's house, but it might have to be at the club where she lives if the guest list gets too big. I haven't thought about a specific theme yet, but my work BFF wants to help plan everything. He's constantly doing baby and wedding showers so I'm sure it'll be great. I don't want to have to worry about any of it.

MsBeachNJ

Excited to see all of your showers!
This is #2 for us, so we won't get a big shower, but my family always does a little "sprinkle" for just very close women in the family for any subsequent babies, but that is always a surprise, I'm betting its late August for me. It will likely be at a family members house, just a small bbq with my sisters, cousins, and aunts. 

My first shower my sister went over the top and it was perfect, it was nautical themed as we live at the beach so it was all pink & blue whales (very vineyard vines esque). She made a big boat diaper cake, and a balloon arch anchor, it was really fun. My sister in law is also pregnant and due 10 weeks after me, so I'm hoping I can help to throw her shower as I enjoy themes & party planning! 

nomangos23

@kgg2241 Your own grandma?! Is there family drama between your mom or something? That seems crazy they wouldn't drive an hour for your shower. Are you close? Agree that its a bummer our showers will fall smack dab in the middle of summer when travel plans are the highest. I already have several close friends that won't make it because of other plans too. I keep telling myself all I care about is that the baby is healthy. Everything else is second. It only works sometimes 

@cmdesigner Your shower sounds like it's going to be AMAZING. I can not wait to hear how it goes. I love the idea of a laid back atmosphere with food and family and fun and tiny baby presents. eeeekkkkkk. Why are you only cautiously excited though? I love that you're a control freak and everyone is doing what you want. Happy mamma, happy life, right?

@LJMoon6 Oh honey, my heart is breaking for you. I hate that you feel that way. Planning a shower can be a big responsibility, but maybe you could offer a few friends who would be glad to be co-hosts and help out? OR, are you dealing with ladies who like to complain and nothing will change that? That's how my grandma is. She will insist to host a holiday then complain about what a toll it takes on her. We just accept that's how she's going to be and offer as much help as she will allow. And just to let you know, I'm ECSTATIC you're having your first baby.

@zuuls_mom Baby giraffe theme? My heart just melted. 


AFM, I had a little shower drama in the beginning with my grandma wanting to throw it but not really having the means, but it's all worked out perfectly. She's going to host a small sip-n-see (no gifts!!) once the baby is here, and she's very happy with that! 

My mom's two closest friends are throwing me a shower July 20th! I think the theme is baby animals, but they haven't really asked for a lot of guidance. I guess a lot of the decor/menu will be a surprise? I don't really care. They're trendy and hip and I trust it won't be a Mikey Mouse theme (no offense to Micky Mouse lovers.) I'm nervous about the gifts on my registry and how guests will perceive me - there are a couple of expensive items on there. Like my Uppababy stroller and a baby Bjorn bouncer... I'm pretty set on the stroller and am thinking of swapping the baby Bjorn for a less expensive bouncer. 

zuuls_mom

@nomangos23 seriously, do not feel guilty about your registry items! Put anything and everything that you want! People are so generous with first babies and it is SO common to put strollers, furniture, etc. on them (and so common for people to buy them too!). Plus, gotta get that completion discount!

themadcamel

@nomangos23 I'm having the same concerns as you about expensive things on my registry. We also want an Uppababy stroller and the Baby Bjorn bouncer (are we the same person??), but I feel guilty even having those things on there. The last person in the family who had a shower registered for a $250 stroller so I feel like I'll be side-eyed so hard!

rms924

@LJMoon6 I am so sorry - I know it’s easier said than done but don’t let it get to you. I’ll speak for myself and say that I am so excited for your little miracle I came from a more superstitious background and didn’t want a shower. Instead, my husband and I took a day to celebrate. It’s actually one of the memories I really treasure from my first pregnancy. 

I am totally following everyone’s showers too! I didn’t get any official huge showers w my 2 and since this is my 3rd, I am def not expecting (not am I hoping for) anything. So I will also live vicariously through you guys! 

lillywonderland

@ljmoon6 I’m sorry your family is being crappy and that there has been a baby boom recently in your circle. I am excited for you! Try not to take their comments to heart, and know that they really are excited for you, it’s just become commonplace recently. Once baby gets here everyone will be clamoring to get some newborn snuggles and the good baby smells.

@nomangos23, @themadcamel If you want it, and you’re going to get it anyways, leave it on the registry for the completion discount! Personally, I only side eye people who register for a ton of expensive things, don’t get it at their shower/wedding, and then proceed to buy a cheaper version for themselves.

pj_soccer

@kgg2241 sorry you have all that family drama. I hope everything will work out by the time your LO is here. 

@cmdesigner your BBQ cookout sounds awesome! 

@themadcamel never heard of the Italian superstition and I'm Italian lol

I am going to be having two showers, one for each side. Did I mention that this little girl is the first grandchild on both sides?!

The one on my side will be there more traditional shower. My sister and Mom are planning it and I have no idea if it has a theme. If my sister had her way it would be Harry Potter.

The second shower will be more of a BBQ/swim party at my in laws house. We figured this was the best way to have MH friends included without making them travel out to us. We are one of the few that actually moved out of the area. Another benefit his grandparents will be able to come since they don't drive very far anymore. 

MsBeachNJ

@nomangos23 @themadcamel don't feel guilty for putting expensive things on there, maybe friends or family will all chip in and be happy to be part of a big gift that you'll get tons of use out of! 

kaceyallan

My situation is a little different than everybody else's. I'm not sure if it's a Canadian thing, or more of a thing in my province/family, but we typically have baby showers after the baby is born so that everyone can meet baby. Especially being team green. 

That being said, I am an anxious worry-wart FTM and I don't want a bunch of people snuggling my baby before he/she starts getting their first shots around 2 months old. So that puts me roughly in December and with Christmas I don't think it's realistic to have one that month. So now baby is 3-4 months old and is that too late to have a shower/ sip and see? I don't really care to have a shower in the first place, so maybe I just use Christmas get togethers as a chance for family to meet baby?

I'm torn, but at the same time don't know how much I care..? 

cmdesigner

@nomangos23 I'm cautiously excited for a few reasons. Mostly because it's 4th of July weekend so I'm worried I'll either get all 90 people we invited (big blended families, man) or no one will come. But I already have 40+ RSVPs so I'm thinking it's gonna be 80 people in my backyard, lol. Also my parents had a very, very nasty divorce and Do. Not. Talk. so I am hoping they behave themselves. My aunt is in charge of keeping the peace with them so that I don't have to be bothered. They can be such children. They've started full blown arguments on a facebook post of mine before (absolutely unrelated to my post? and they've been divorced since I was...11?) and I had to shut that sh*t down. I told them on the post that they were embarrassing themselves. 

janat1717

@nomangos23 Don't swap out the Baby Bjorn Bouncer! It is amazing!!! Get the expensive bar toy with it too 

LJMoon6

Thanks for the support ladies. I know the only thing that matters is a healthy baby. I’m just feeling the extra hormones at the moment.

@kgg2241 Can you insist on inviting them. It’s your shower, you should be able to invite whoever you want.

@cmdesigner Your cookout sounds sooo nice! I wish that’s what we were doing. Just have one big party at our place and be done. Too much drama with these damn showers!

@lillywonderland Thank you! I know they’re excited for me. Just their aditute through this whole planning is rubbing me the wrong wat. Going out to Tea sounds like fun!

@zuuls_mom Thank you!! I love giraffes!!! So cute!

@themadcamel I’ll have some close friends and cousins at each of the showers, so it hopefully wont be bad. It’s just the planning part that’s going to be rough I think. I love that your work BFF is helping plan your shower! That’s so sweet.

@MsBeachNJ A surprise sprinkle is such an awesome tradition. Your nautical theme sounds beautiful.

@nomangos23 Thank you!! It’s really just my one aunt who’s complaining. But she’s the one who’s “in charge” of the planning and communicating with me. There are already 4 other co-hosts so I feel like it shouldn’t be as stressful as she’s making it. But she is in the middle of selling her house (to her daughter) and moving in with her boyfriend. So I do get it. It’s a lot going on. I think the biggest thing that bugs me is the FB invites. How much are you really saving by not sending those invites? $10 split 5 ways… It is going to be a big shower tho. I think close to 40 people.

I’m so glad your grandma is happy to hose a sip-n-see. That sounds perfect! I wouldn’t feel bad about putting expensive gifts on your registry. I know when I buy gifts off a registry for someone I just filter by the price range I want to spend and only look at those items as an option. I never even look at the other gifts in different price ranges on the registry. Besides, if someone has a problem with it, just explain to them how the completion discount works.

@rms924 Thank you! That sounds so sweet. Maybe me and MH should plan a day for just us to celebrate. Lol MH would probably think I’m crazy.

LJMoon6

And the drama continues... Why!!?? Just don’t come if you’re going to be pissy about it.

MH is not close with his father’s side of the family. We really only saw his dad, his step mom, and his half sister twice a year (he’s got aunts and uncles and cousins but he doesn’t know any of them). But ever since his dad passed away we haven’t seen any of them. I decided it would be nice to invite both his half sister and step mom to the shower (more for MH’s sake than anything. I know he’s feeling down about the fact that his dad will never know his son). Well his step mom’s response was, “it’s been 4 years…” (since we’ve seen her). Um ok then don’t come! No ones forcing you. And this relationship goes both ways chica. It’s not like she ever invited us over. I just don’t understand how she can be pissed at us when it’s just as much her fault. And why say anything in the first place. Just don’t come then.

MsBeachNJ

@LJMoon6 how rude! You're exactly right, its an invitation, not an obligation, and it was very nice of you to be inclusive! 

nomangos23

@LJMoon6 What context was this message in? A Facebook massage?  Text? I would reply back with something along the lines of this celebration is about our son. Not about you and your feelings. If you don't care to celebrate with us, that's fine. But maybe less bitchy? Something like "I just wanted to extend the invitation to you to celebrate the expected arrival of our little boy. We are so excited. I understand if you can't come" 

zuuls_mom

@LJMoon6 ugh, seriously why even say anything if it's just going to be rude!? MH's dad's side of the family is not close AT ALL (I haven't met his uncle or his wife and kids) and they live in another state, but guess what? We still invite them to things and they still invite us to things! Because we're family! We don't go, but we send well wishes. I don't know why it's so hard for people to just be courteous. I'm so sorry you're dealing with so much drama. 

LJMoon6

@nomangos23 It was through a Facebook message. I started off by saying “I hope you’re doing well, I know it’s been a while.” Blah blah blah, “I’d like to invite you to my baby shower.” Blah blah. Her only response was “It’s been 4 years… address” I just sent back a message saying “I’m sorry, we’ve been so busy”. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything else. Damn Minnesota nice. Whatever. I feel better getting it off my chest here. I almost hope she doesn’t show up. You’re not ruining my Harry Potter themed baby shower!!!!!!!

@zuuls_mom Seriously, how hard is it to be nice and courteous towards people!? MH’s family baffles me sometimes. Thank you for validating my feelings. I was starting to think I was just being an overly emotional pregnant lady lol.

diner04

@kkg2241 I definitely say invite who you want! I just had a conversation about who to invite as we are having my shower where I live and the majority of my extended family live 4 hours away. I know many of them won't come but want them to be included. My family also typically will chip in on a larger gift even if they don't come. @nomangos23 I think it is great that you reached out but is sucky that is the response you got I definitely get the MN nice, I am the same way.
@cmdesigner I am pretty much on the same page as you, a relaxed cookout, 4th of July weekend (I am just thinking I will end up with a small group)

My first shower will be with a small group of coworkers at the end of June and will be a relaxed happy hour after work out on a patio if it is nice. My big shower is on July 6th which is also my 30th birthday. I had my birthday party planned and decided to throw on a baby shower that afternoon as well as I knew my parents were going to be in town and its hard to find another weekend in the summer. I am not into the traditional baby shower games but prefer it just to be a gathering of people with good food and drinks. My sister is hosting it at her house (cookout and pool party) and it will be a couple's shower (much to DH dismay but it's also my bday so he has to do what I say! haha) but I told him not to even think of it as a shower its more celebrating my birthday and instead of bringing any gifts for me people will be bringing one for the baby and its just family and friends hanging out I also realize my birthday/shower is 4th of July weekend so am expecting a lot of people not to be able to make it but I am ok with that. I am an introvert, and the people I want most to be there I know can already come so am totally ok with a small group! My sister just ordered the invites and I like how they turned out! I then may have a 3rd small gathering with my close college friend group (6 of us) at my house if we can find a weekend this summer. 

swamplass

@cmdesigner our showers sound similar we are having a BBQ at our new house too. I was working on the invites today, we are just going to email them. (Classy or trashy? Lemme know!) I made them in Google slides they're 5x7 and people will be able to click thru to Amazon (here's hoping less technologically advanced guests can figure that out!)

cammie0526

I’m both excited for and embarrassed by my shower. This is the first grandchild on both sides, so my mom, MIL, and aunts are going way overboard. It’ll be on 7/20 at a fairly prestigious country club, with food stations, passed hors d’oeuvres (seriously?!), and a signature cocktail... TOTALLY unnecessary and over the top! They’re having a ton of fun planning it and I really am grateful, so I’m just letting them roll with it. My only requests are no (or very few) shower games, and chocolate covered strawberries for dessert. 

sunshine2417

@LJMoon6 that’s SUCH a rude response from her! Like yeah, it’s been 4 years, but here’s an Olive branch and maybe we can try to change that in the future moving forward? Ugh, I’m so sorry! She should have been like “wow, I feel so honored. I hope we can make it and reconnect” or something... 😔 Well, hopefully things can change and maybe she will come and be nice... and if she’s not, then, we’ll, let’s make it 14 years this next time!

kgg2241

@duewithpu2 @zuuls_mom@themadcamel @nomangos23 @LJMoon6 @diner04 Thanks ladies. I am still thinking about it. I am pretty sure I will insist we invite them, but I also dread the drama it will stir up with my mom. Ugh. I'll explain more once we go private. 

@LJMoon6 What a B. That is so rude. Just don't come then lady! 

@cammie0526 How fun! I can't wait to see pictures. I love that it is over the top! Also, I'm super excited to find out more about this signature cocktail!

@diner04 Your shower sounds awesome. I love that is is more of a birthday celebration. I also love that you got DH to go. I thought about doing a coed one, but I knew he'd put a hard stop to it. I wish my bday was around that time so I could do the same thing . 

@nomangos23 I love that your grandma agreed to the sip n see idea. And don't feel bad about the expensive gifts. I felt the same way, but I am trying to remember that people generally want to get you what you want and will likely go in on stuff. Just make sure to have a range of small things too and you should be good to go. 

@cmdesigner I think I'd have a panic attack if 80 people came to my shower (introvert), but I seriously love the sound of yours. I can't wait to hear about it. 

kraane

@kaceyallan fellow Canadian...showers after baby make it a bit nerve wracking. Although I have been to a couple that were before baby so if you want to avoid having a shower at Christmas or in the new year it’s not totally out of the question.

With my first she was one month old when we had the shower. I basically just held her the majority of the time because I was anxious about everything. When I opened gifts my sister held her right beside me. Most of my family/friends I think were understanding of all the FTM nerves. 

This time around we will probably just have an informal get together and I’m assuming it’s going to be about a month after baby is born. I will probably hold him/her the majority of the time again. 

@cammie0526 that sounds amazing, my DD was the first on both sides but we definitely didn’t have passed appetizers but did have chocolate covered strawberries!

@phillyftm I like those invites...simple and classic. I also like the idea of having gifts not wrapped. I have never thought of that and opening gifts in front of people is always so awkward. 

nightdreamr13

Wow. I thought i was the only one with shower blues!!

My parents have a lot going on with my Dads health concerns but they're throwing the shower for us. My mil decided she's going to have a luncheon for us with HER friends so she threw a fit when she was asked to help with food for the shower. I don't want to sound ungrateful but I don't feel comfortable going to a fancy lunch with people I barely know and accepting gifts from them. Plus this lunch will easily cost  $400+. Yet when we asked for your help, like bringing a sandwich platter that costs $100 to the shower with OUR Friends and family, you have a hissy fit????

kgg2241

Lol saw this today. Feels pretty accurate. 

mommyshark13

I mentioned this in another thread but I'm irritated. My ILs hosted a small diaper shower for baby 2. I thought someone would do something similar this time but MIL isn't. My mom had me ask her because she was thinking about a sprinkle. MIL flat out said no and acted annoyed and then mom decided she doesnt have enough time. 🙄🙄🙄 Every baby on either side in recent years has had something and I don't understand why we are different. 

What is the proper etiquette for a sip and see? I also thought about having our kids "host" a sprinkle but it seems tacky. I dont even know if I GAF anymore. Might be the hormones...

cammie0526

@mommyshark13 I'm sorry, that's annoying. Is this baby #3 for you? I wouldn't host my own shower or sprinkle, but would absolutely host my own sip & see since it's more casual, gifts aren't expected, and it's convenient to host it where and when works best for you after delivery. I think it's a great, low-key way to celebrate the new baby!

mommyshark13

@cammie0526 yes #3. Honestly we don't even need much. The biggest thing was a new travel system and we bought that. I was fine not having anything until my mom offered and then did a complete 180. 

nomangos23

@mommyshark13 And another great things about a sip n see is while gifts aren't expected, no one in their right mind shows up empty handed! I'll bet you get meals, diapers, wine, etc! 

mommyshark13

@nomangos23 Good point.... and I can actually drink wine then 😉😉😉

rms924

@mommyshark13 I feel like there's etiquette and then there's family tradition- so I totally get why you are upset. It sounds like the babies in your family are always recognized. So far, all of my kids have gotten a little quilt from my MIL and I'd be super upset if this LO didn't get one. I think you should host the sip n see yourself and help welcome your 3rd into the family yourself! That way, each of your kids got something to celebrate their births

mommyshark13

@rms924 That's exactly how I feel about it. Thanks for the reassurance that I am not crazy lol