Monthly Mother in Law Madness - June

aukeev

What'cha got this month? 

bluebonnet15

Nothing yet. MIL didn’t show up to our wedding after she disapproved the guest list (we paid, mind you) and got mad. So, that was the end of speaking to her. Fast forward three-ish years and she reached out to us when she heard we’re having a baby. No apology or plan to work on her mental health issues, more of a “I’m sorry we’ve been estranged.” Eyeroll. Anyway, we didn’t respond nor do we plan to have any contact with her. We do still have relationships with her father and her siblings. They’re invited to our shower at the end of the month, and I’m getting slightly worried she might just show up. I’m not sure how I will handle that, so I’m trying to think through that so I’ll be prepared. 

aukeev

@heml Yikes Does she live near you? 

bluebonnet15

@oklahomak Yeah, about an hour and a half away 

Lotus_2008

@heml Sorry that you're having to deal with that unnecessary stress.

I've been slightly irritated with my MIL over plans for visiting baby. We live about 2+ hrs away via highway, but MIL doesn't drive on the highway. We've told immediate family that we'd like them to visit us in the hospital b/c we'd like to minimize visitors at home for the first two weeks with absolutely no overnight visitors.
When DH told her this, she acted like it would be too much of a hassle for her to come out, so now she may not  even visit until we start allowing overnight visitors. Then she even questioned whether I truly wanted visitors just b/c she didn't want people visiting her in the hospital after she gave birth.
I'm just annoyed b/c this is her first grandchild and I thought she'd put in a little more effort to see him, even if it means some minor inconvenience to her. Also, I'm annoyed that she thinks that I'd want to do things exactly the way she did them 30+ years ago.

moon1417

@heml I hope she stays estranged for you and doesn't decide to crash the shower. 

@lotus_2008 That sucks about your MIL.  I feel like no overnight visitors shouldn't even have to be discussed.  She's not that far that it can't be a day trip or hey, get a hotel.  If she wanted to she would find away. I'm sorry you're dealing with that. 

aukeev

@Lotus_2008 How ridiculous! If she's that concerned about highway driving, surely she could at least get a friend or relative to drive her/carpool for the visit. 

Lotus_2008

@oklahomak The problem is that she doesn't really have friends/family that could drive her. Most of her friends are older than her (she's in her mid-60's) and she isn't close (distance and relationship-wise) to her siblings.
My parents would drive her, but when DH mentioned that possibility she shot it down. She gets along with my parents, but I think she is apprehensive about spending 4+ hours in the car with them. I have a feeling she'll come around once my DD gets closer, but it's hard to not be irritated with her right now.