Weekly Randoms 5/13

moon1417

It's Monday.  I must have hit my snooze button at least 7 times today. 

Allycat11

I am having a really hard time connecting with this baby and feeling ready. 

We still have mot made any progress on the new room for DS so he is still in the nursery. Even once we move him I can set some things up but can not re-decorate until after baby is here because we are still team green.  I have been asking DH for months to pull the baby stuff out of the attic so I can inventory what we have and what we need. I know the baby won't really use the nursery at first but having somewhere to put their stuff and a space that is all theirs makes it feel more real. 

I really love being team green but it is harder to picture what our family of 5 will look like without knowing this baby's gender. We have always referred to baby by name as soon as we can but being team green we can't do that this time. 

wabash15

@Allycat11 do you have a nickname for the baby?  We have been team green for all my pregnancies but I find giving the kid a temporary name (we have a nut theme) helps to connect. People keep asking if I'm ready for the baby to be here, and my answer is always absolutely not! I'm in a bit of denial that soon we will be a family of 6.  Though maybe this is a FFMC I tend to live in a state of denial with all my pregnancies, that I will soon have a baby (or babies) and everything will change. With the twins the full reality did not hit until the doc said its time for them to come out... your C-section will be tomorrow at 6am...  

Allycat11

@wabash15 we do not have a nn for this one but that is a good idea. I really love being team green for the first time but there are just a whole bunch of things going on that are making it harder to connect this time. 

agpandme

We watched my belly "jump" from his kicking last night.  So crazy thinking that will become even stronger!

flagchic

I had my TDAP booster shot yesterday at my dr. appointment, and they recommended having anybody who will be around the baby for an extended time (spouse obviously, but also grandparents, etc) to get it. My mom is going to be staying with me for a few weeks after the birth. How do you politely ask somebody if they can please get a booster shot? LOL.

aukeev

@flagchic I don't have firsthand experience yet, of course, but our best friends had a baby in early March and they just asked if close family and friends would mind getting their flu shot and TDAP before meeting the baby, since it was still cold and flu season then. They're both usually 100% covered by insurance and you can get them at the Walgreens/CVS Minute Clinics. I don't think anyone batted an eye! 

grangerhp37

My app is being glitchy and won’t let me reply to anything! I’ve tried logging out and restarting the app so not sure what the issue is. 

aecm

@flagchic - with our first I just sent out a group email or text “reminder” to the relevant extended family. Something along the lines of “please remember to check with your doctor and make sure you are up to date with your TDaP booster before baby arrives!” I feel like grouping it together doesn’t make any one person feel like they’re being targeted or singled out. Turned out some of our family was not up to date at the time but no one was offended at being asked to go get the shot.

Twinkiedoll

@flagchic For my first, I just told the grandparents that the doctor said that everyone who goes near the baby has to get their TDAP and asked them to confirm with their respective doctors that their TDAP was up to date. I took them at their word that they did, in fact, check.

Twinkiedoll

McKesson shipped my Spectra S1 pump today.  I paid $80 to upgrade since I already have a Medela PIS and Symphony at home.  They originally said they wouldn't ship to Hawaii but apparently changed their policy just last month to ship to all 50 states.  I'm excited. I've heard such good things about the S1.

sourlemon

@flagchic I just told my parents and brother it was mandatory for them to have the shot before they saw the baby since we would be seeing them at least once a week. I strongly recommended it to other people who would visit the baby on occasion (and sold it on the whole you should have a tetanus booster anyways if you havent had one in 10 years).

DD1 was born in May so flu wasnt an issue, but when DD2 was born in December, we asked anyone who would have contact with the baby for the first 3 months to get the shot. Only one person complained but eventually got it since DH invited her out for the first 2.5 weeks of her life. (ugh). This time, everyone is still covered by their first TDaP and flu shots wont be available for a few months, but we will be asking visitors to get their flu shots when its available for this first year. It may only be an issue for one family member who is immuno-compromised so we will address that if we need to (basically, cancel visits if there is any sign of sickness since we wont know if its just sniffles or the flu).

Of course, you can ask friends/family to get the shot, but you cant force them to. And unless you are going to somehow demand to see shot records before they see the baby, you will never really know if people get the shots.

mamamias

On a totally different note, feeling like crap since Friday. None of the OTCs that I can take now works on my cough and sour throat. Finally broke down and got a dr's appointment but the prescription cough syrup needs to be vetted by the ob-gyn if it's safe during pregnancy. This baby has heard me cough more than talk these couple of days 🤦‍♀️

Beauxbaton

@mamamias I've had a cough lately. And basically every month since getting pregnant. I'm about to email my doctor and see what we can do. Im so sore from coughing it's pathetic.

cato99

@Allycat11 with two other kids I know you hardly have a lot of time, but what really woke me up to the fact that “whoa there’s a baby in there” was finally starting my prenatal yoga class a month or two ago (in case that’s not something you already do). With the whirlwind of daily life (and also the skepticism of this pregnancy being ok after so many years of IF) I hadn’t devoted any mental space to connecting with this baby, and just that little session a week gave me that space and I’ve really appreciated it on an emotional level as well as physical. 

mrosek91

I would like to point out how much I love DH. We are on a road trip, and stopped for a nature break, and since the boys were sleeping I decided to splurge and get ice cream. I asked DH if he wanted and he said no. Once we were back in the car I gave him a bite of my chocolate m&m cookie ice cream sandwich.

aecm

It looks like one of my very good friends will be delivering her baby this weekend. She’s been hospitalized with pre-eclampsia and they’re not having success getting it under control. She’s only about 5 weeks ahead of me...so a little past the 30 week mark. Logically I know she’s getting good care and that NICUs these days are amazing...but still, it’s hard not to be a bit scared for her and her baby. I’m sad she’s having to go through this.  It’s also a bit of a reality-check...a reminder that pregnancy can go from great to scary in about two seconds flat. Sigh. So all fingers crossed for my friend, please, and here’s to hoping that all of us can keep our babes cooking without complications until they’re full term. 

lovelikestardust

@aecm So sorry to hear about your friend, I hope all turns out well for her. Sending good vibes!

thirdtimesacharm2019

@aecm I’m sorry to hear about your friend. I’ve had an unhealthy fear of preterm birth this pregnancy. I think it’s because the older you get the more stories you hear/ people you know with issues. A healthy baby is very possible at 30 weeks, but it will likely be a long road. Prayers. 

mkrel

@aecm I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible for your friend.  And I agree, there is no guarantee that a pregnancy will go to term and be complication free.  It's scary when you think about it! 

mrosek91

@aecm I know I've talked about the birth hour podcast before, but it's really good. Episode 359 was a woman who had a premie because of pre-e, and he spent a while in the NICU. She had some good resources for NICU moms.

aecm

@mrosek91 Thanks for the suggestion! I’ll pass it along!

purplg8r

@aecm sending all the good thoughts to your friend

Allycat11

So, head's up for FTM's...get ready for everyone to have an opinion about how to raise your children. It blows my mind how often people offer unsolicited advice or judge our decisions about how to raise our own kids. Here is a story from today. 

It was in the 50s this morning with a high near 70. I was getting DS (3yo) ready to drop off at ILs for the day so I could volunteer at DDs school and catch up on some work. At their house he watches TV, eats snacks and plays with cars inside. FIL is the only one who does anything to care for him. I dressed him in shorts and a tshirt, debated a jacket but decided against it. DH picked him up in the afternoon and this was our conversation:
Me: "By the way I am sure your mom was judging me for how E was dressed."
DH: *laughs* "Yeah, funny story. When I picked him up my mom said that despite it being cold out you did not even bother sending a jacket so he has nothing. I told her its almost 70, he is fine. She then put on a heavy coat to go pick up her car from the shop." 

I get that everyone has their own opinions about what is appropriate in what kind of weather. We live in MI, it has been figid for months, I promise he was fine going from cars to houses in shorts and a t-shirt. 

mkrel

@Allycat11 the comments from older people in general about jackets, hats, etc are out of control. I had a bellman at a hotel ask my daughter who was 18 months at the time where her jacket was. It was in the high 60s and she was wearing jeans and a long sleeve shirt. Not to mention she can’t wear a jacket in her car seat. Pretty sure even if it was cold she would have made the 60 second walk to the car just fine. 
My mom also has a lot of opinions on DD being “cold” just because she is. It drives me crazy. My husband is always hot and my daughter is the same way. I constantly tell her to feel her back and she’s like “well her hands feel cool”. I love her but it makes me crazy. 

Allycat11

@mkrel yep so many opinions about kids being cold. MIL also insists my kids are going to freeze because we dont wear coats in the car. First, it is not safe, we know more than we did 30 years ago. Second, my car is heated. Third, their coat is right there to wear backwards or as a blanket if they are too cold. 

thirdtimesacharm2019

@Allycat11 My 6 year old has worn shorts to school every day since the slightest hint of a heatwave in mid-February. Sometimes with a light fleece, but usually not. MIL needs to take a chill pill. No one is getting hypothermia at 50 degrees. 

aecm

@Allycat11 Yessss the old people are crazy about the cold. My MIL always insists that DD wear socks in the house...which we keep at a very comfortable 69-71F. And she dresses my poor child as if she’s heading out on an Arctic expedition when it’s 45F outside. But what drives me completely insane is when she insists DD will catch pneumonia if we don’t dress her warm enough or have her outside too long in the winter...PNEUMONIA IS NOT CAUSED BY COLD TEMPERATURES, YOU CRAZY BAT!

Allycat11

@aecm yessss! My kids catch far more illnesses from school than they do from cold weather. Also my kids never wear socks in the house because they rip them off. I used to try having DS wear socks during the winter because our hardwood floors.do feel a bit cool but I got sick of picking up toddler socks all the time. 

sourlemon

All you guys talking about shorts and no jacket at 60 degrees are crazy! Signed, your Arizona native that wears pants and long sleeves until it's 75. 

The kids daycare also requests some level of jacket until it's 75 and they actually put them on the kids to go outside anytime it's less than 70! But, I get in trouble a lot for the kids because I always forget to send them with jackets. The kids don't complain unless it's less than 50ish.

MollyH1987

I told my co-worker that I was having my GTT next week and she responded with "You're young, you'll be fine". First thought:



Although I found an article with the ADA regarding maternal age and how you do have an increased prevalence for developing GDM after 25 years of age. But still, I'm in my 30's so how young do you think I am!?

agpandme

I am totally going to be that mom that sends the kid with a jacket and a hat and an extra pair of socks LOL. I'm always cold.  My husband on the other hand wears shorts and a t shirt in the winter.  Our child will get what he gets depending on the parent 

Beauxbaton

My kids routinely wear their PJ shorts to the store in the winter. And I wear flip flops unless it's actively raining or snowing lol. 

Allycat11

@sourlemon the rule at DDs school is jackets for below 50 degrees. By low to mid 50s in the spring most kids here would rather not wear them. They go outside for recess as long as the winchill is above -5 if I recall correctly. It is fascinating how we all adapt to different climates. 

olivemomma

@Allycat11 agreed. I grew up in the north so my idea of hot is anything above 75 and it’s not really cold unless it’s under 20. We also needed at least a good foot of snow to delay school and more to close. Now in the South they talk about how cold it’s is in the 50s and close school at the mere possibility of snow. It’s funny

lilmamabebe3

Hi all! I wanted to check in since it's been a few weeks. I was on bed rest for preterm labor (have since been released, shew!) for a week and a half due to an undetected infection. It was scary but baby girl and I are doing well and I am back at work and finished my antibiotics.

I cannot stress enough, if you think something is wrong, force them to check. My doctor is great but she blew me off repeatedly saying my pain was because this was my third baby and pain starts earlier and is more intense. It wasn't just that. Thank goodness we caught it in time.

We also have to put our dog down soon. I am dreading it and so stressed with thinking of how the boys will react and how empty our house will feel, etc. I am also slightly relieved because he is a really sick dog. I have had him for nine years and he is just the best, so it's really a hard thing to go through and to have conflicting emotions about it is not something I imagined I would. I thought I would be flat out devastated. But I feel the relief that he won't suffer or be sick or be a financial burden any longer (that sounds so terrible but his medical bills have far surpassed my kids'). I just don't want to lose him. Ugh, this sucks. It's really hard. And being pregnant on top of it? Psh, someone save me. I can't even have wine.

BigBadWolf12

I'm in Stockholm,  but where I'm from in Canada it's more extreme (colder in winter,  hotter in summer) so we usually seem "under dressed" here,  plus my son is like a little furnace. ... the "one more layer than you" rule was so not accurate for him.  It was more like "one less layer than mom,  same layers as dad" rule for him haha. 

Anyways,  between swedes and other  immigrants who generally come from warmer climates and find it cold here,  we've had a few people ask if he's warm enough.  He always is.  But the one time I was walking on trails with another mom with a baby 1 month older than my son (6 and 7 months old at the time) and she kept offering me another blanket for LO and I kept refusing. We went into a place for lunch and took the babies out of their strollers and my kid was fine and hers was DRENCHED in sweat. She actually said "oh wow,  I guess yours was warm enough....I think I over did it with mine" I was relieved bc the way she was pushing the blanket on me was a bit intense and it WAS a colder day than I expected,  but he was always fine when I checked him so I kept refusing the blanket. 

heml

@lilmamabebe3 How scary! I’m glad you advocated for yourself and have been released. I’m so sorry that you’re also dealing with your poor pup. Creepy internet hugs! 

BigBadWolf12

@lilmamabebe3 yikes!  I posted at the same time as you before and just saw your update now. So sorry for the scare.  I'm glad you pushed to be seen and didn't take your doctor blowing off your symptoms. Glad you and baby girl are doing well! 

grangerhp37

@lilmamabebe3 How scary!!! I’m so glad all is okay and you are off of bed rest. I hope little girl gets nice and comfortable for the next few months!

wabash15

@lilmamabebe3 so glad your feeling better and that you followed your gut. I hope this is the last of the craziness for the rest of your pregnancy. I am so sorry to hear about your pup. Its OK to feel sadness and relief. You clearly love him and don't want him to be in discomfort. I think its also harder to deal with the grief when you have kids that you have to help process what is/has happened. We had to euthanize one of our cats recently and on a semi regular basis the twins bring it up.... how they miss her and that she had to go to heaven. hugs