Weekly randoms 5/6

agpandme

I went to bed exhausted.  Woke up just as tired as I had been.  I was sitting in bed after DH left for work, checking out the class schedule at the gym/pool I joined.  It was 9:45 and I saw a 90 minute yoga class at 10:15.  I hauled my butt out of bed and drove down there.  Did the class, swam for 30 minutes and made it home just now.  I won the tired struggle today! 

MamaK225

@agpandme - I feel you there! Archer was a contender for DD2, though I was going to stab anyone trying to call her Archie (it has the same number of letters and syllables, whyyyyyyy?).

@Avrilmai - That is a wonderful/absolutely valid point: PPA/PPD definitely begins during pregnancy, but only *recognized* after delivery.

Super (weekly) random: Someone brought in two boxes of Twinkies this week. I haven't had one in 20 or 25 years. I've eaten FOUR in 2 days, with a fifth one sitting on my desk to go with tomorrow's "breakfast" (i.e. vanilla greek yogurt). It's all about balance! (I don't remember being a huge fan of them as a kid, but HOLY CRAP, they're pretty amazing)

sw1122

@Avrilmai - I didn't know about that - thanks for this. It must be so confusing dealing with postpartum depression and it's terrible that so many women suffer through it without getting the help they need. 

purplg8r

@zamora_spin I don’t think I’ve felt them.  About how far apart we’re they, do you think?  (Like 10 sec, a min?)

emqbee

I’ve felt what I *think* are hiccups. Maybe someone can chime in...I feel a movement, Same exact place and feeling, about 5-7 times in a row with them time perfectly apart. I’m pretty sure that’s hiccups but should it last longer...?

flagchic

Has anybody had a negative experience in telling their employment about their pregnancy? I spilled the beans just this week, but I was already four months when I was hired at this new job, and I didn't disclose during the interview. The Board to have my hire approved is 90% old white men, one of which referred to somebody as an "Oriental." I was not confident that if I disclosed prior to the interview that I would have been hired- they're old school and don't care about discrimination laws I think. I was in a very bad job prior, and I couldn't afford not to get hired at this dream new job. I finally disclosed this week (late, I understand, but I wanted to really prove myself at this new job), and they took it bad. Like, really badly. Horrible, awkward phone conversation with heavy tension. A snappy e-mail right afterwards. Today, I had a face to face meeting where they said "How can you NOT tell that this is a huge concern?". I cried, I won't lie. I swore up and down everything would be so streamlined before I left, projects already planned, budget completed for 2020, calendar set, I will only take six weeks off because that's the earliest any daycare will take an infant around here and I have no other help, I offered to work from home or work from the office if I could bring baby. I was called inappropriate to suggest it.

I'll take responsibility for the late disclosure- but I just wasn't expecting this.

thirdtimesacharm2019

@flagchic Any way you could consult someone in HR? My experience with a similar “good old boy” company was that HR was completely on the company’s side and there was no employee advocate. 

Do you think they will hold your job?

Depending on your state there may be additional rights (my state is employment at will, so there’s no protection there either).

Sorry you are having all this extra stress. I was hired pregnant with my first (as a waitress, so not exactly my dream job), and my boss was really shitty when I told him. Pretty sure he held it against me the whole 2.5 years I worked there... I hope that isn’t your experience. 

mrosek91

@flagchic I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. You had absolutely no requirement to tell them while interviewing, (in fact most HR experts will recommend you don't, it was discussed a while ago here).
I am not an expert, but I believe most places that have a certain number of employees are required to hold the job for you under FMLA. If you seriously think your job is at risk you may want to consult an attorney.
I hope that things improve for you.

heml

@flagchic I am so sorry you received that reaction. I think you’re in the US, so to qualify for 12 weeks of job protected leave under FMLA you have to be employed for 12 months at a company with 50+ employees. If you just started, then unfortunately, you won’t qualify. I second @thirdtimesacharm2019’s recommendation that you speak with HR, as they may be more helpful with navigating your company’s policies 

BigBadWolf12

No advice other than document *everything*. So sorry they took it so badly @flagchic

MamaK225

I'm with everyone @flagchic. First of all, do NOT stress about the late notification. Honestly, the amount of notice you give is irrelevant and totally up to you (and covered by HIPAA, ADA). Depending on your state, I would definitely contact a labor lawyer or attorney if you feel you're pushed down a bad road. Absolutely document EVERYTHING. They wouldn't have this reaction with a new employee who just found out they had to have their hips replaced and will be out for 6 weeks - they can sit on it and spin. I hate this for you, but it seems like you've hit the ground running and have definitely gotten yourself in a position where there will be minimal operational interruption from this. Please feel free to vent into this group as needed, many might have some good insight into your situation and ... we are a very supportive group *creepy internet hugs to you*

mkrel

@flagchic I'm sorry, that sounds so stressful and you should not have to be dealing with that type of response.  

Side note: why doesn't anyone participate in hdbd?! My last bmb I swear it was everyone by this point.  I know I've missed some weeks, but I want to see bumps!

MamaK225

@mkrel - I've only participated once. Mostly because there was no "bump" to mention until about a week ago. I promise I'll do better  

thirdtimesacharm2019

@mkrel I always forget to take a picture before I change on Wednesday... so mine is usually HD+1 or HD+2 😂

mrosek91

@mkrel as @cato99 was saying in this week's HDBD I always feel like the pictures don't accurately reflect my bump, so I often decide not to even bother posting. And even without the slimming work of the camera my bump isn't much to speak of. I'm even wearing a non-maternity shirt today, at 24+5. It's very loose and flowy, but still...
This is number 3 for me, and I always carry small, so I keep telling myself not to worry, but there really isn't much there.

goldfishcraker

@mkrel I find I usually end up not posting because I take my pictures on my new week, which is Friday. And it feels so late to post lol

emqbee

I don’t have a floor length mirror at home so I wind up not taking many....and then when I do it’s in the bathroom at work and I hate to post ‘work bathroom’ pics...I’ll try to do better!!

EmilyA724

@mkrel second time mom life. With DD I took weekly photos, this time I've only been doing milestone photos.

thirdtimesacharm2019

I finally got the PT scheduled I requested at appointment over 2 weeks ago and the earliest I can be seen is the first week of June 🙄. My hip hurt so bad Tuesday I was almost in tears before I left the house for the day... and now it’s going to be 4 more weeks (at least). 

agpandme

@mkrel I didn't participate because I had no idea what HDBD meant LOL.  Once I took the time to open the thread and look it up, I posted a photo.   I'll try to be more active :P 

sourlemon

@mkrel I barely ever participate for a few reasons. First, I think I've only taken 3 real bump pictures this pregnancy. #thirdkidproblems. Second, I usually look my worst on Wednesdays because I'm trying to stretch days between washing my hair. #lazy. Third, I just forget!

BigBadWolf12

Should I retitle it "HDBD pics" or something so people know its pictures? I'm just so used to stalking other bmbs and have been on the bump for 5 solid years that I forget some acronyms aren't common knowledge 😬

sourlemon

I had a dream last night that I had the baby and was just randomly going about my day to day life waiting for milk to come in while the baby was chilling at the hospital. Not NICU or anything, just that the hospital wouldnt release the baby until my milk came in. I said something at one point about being a week into it already and maybe it just wouldnt come in this time. I was cool as a cucumber about all this like it was just standard practice.

cato99

FWIW I always think of HDBD as kicking off that week's pictures--the pic doesn't have to come specifically on a Wednesday! I love seeing bump pics roll in throughout the week. I know a lot of ladies only take pics when their week changes (in my case because #secondpregnancy I only remember/think to take pics when HDBD reminds me to). I also love seeing the bumps of different sizes: at this stage 24ish weeks can look like imminent birth or like you just took a positive pregnancy test and are mildly bloated. I think that's a cool representation of what bodies can do. I also like seeing the effects of different outfit styles on the bump. All of which is to say that small or barely existent bumps definitely have a place on HDBD!

flagchic

@MamaK225 @BigBadWolf12 @heml @mrosek91 @thirdtimesacharm2019   Thank you SO much for the love and support. When you spend more time at work than any other place, it stinks to not have any happiness or support about something that makes you so happy. It feels like they want me to be ashamed!

I'm definitely documenting everything that I can remember from this point further. I heard from the female office manager that she was told about it, and that they'll get over it but were just mad because they felt "blindsided" and that I was "withholding information." I'm not a liar- but I'm private, it's none of their business, I'm not legally required to, and I just used the fact that I'm still not showing to my advantage

jrm_14

@flagchic So sorry you’re going through this Even though you’re not covered by FMLA, I believe the Pregnancy Discrimination Act still applies if your company has 15 or more employees. 

zamoraspin

@Avrilmai The tech at our anatomy scan said I may start to feel him hiccup “soon” which was almost 4 weeks ago. No idea what the average time frame is.
@purplg8r It wasn’t every few seconds - I wasn’t looking at my phone or a clock but it was similar to a pulsing sensation. He was also kicking/moving while it was happening but the hiccups-seeming movement was rhythmic instead of random.

I had a terrible day but got some amazing news that some friends of ours who have been hoping for a child for years and have been pursuing adoption for over a year for the call that they have been chosen by a birth mom who is due this fall. So awesome!

MamaK225

@zamora_spin - Yay! I also had a coworker who has had two adoptions fall through in the last 2 years just got a call that they've been placed with a new mom who is due in a month ... so happy for her! #babyseason

Avrilmai

@zamora_spin @MamaK225 so excited for your friends! what awesome news for both!!

lovelikestardust

@zamora_spin @MamaK225 Oh, yay, amazing news for your friends!! 💛

My random (or maybe TMI): So. Much. Discharge. Silly FTM me thought I wouldn't need pantiliners while pregnant. Nope, bring on the Costco sized box, I'm wearing them more often than I did when not pregnant.

EmilyA724

I had my first "I love being pregnant" moment while I chowed down on some McDonalds before going in to the store to try on a bathing suit. Salt and bloating, so what!

thirdtimesacharm2019

@EmilyA724 I will attribute my pleasant experience at McDonald’s last night to being pregnant. The cashier brought out our food and insisted she bring the ketchup back (I was going to go get it)... I usually don’t care care to be fussed over, but it was kind of nice! I was super tired, hence the dinner at McDonald’s. 

sourlemon

We also had McDonalds for dinner last night!

aecm

If DD could have a FFFC, it should be that she doesn’t like McDonalds. She won’t touch McNuggets. She’s such a weirdo 🙄😂

thirdtimesacharm2019

@aecm My 13YO wouldn’t eat PB&J until like a year ago. Now he doesn’t use ketchup or salad dressing ... talk about weird. Meanwhile my 6YO would dip sauce in sauce (just like his mom)!

peachy0709

@aecm DD1 won't eat McDonalds nuggets either, but I think that's because she's been spoiled by CFA.

EmilyA724

@aecm for the longest time DD was a self-imposed vegetarian and she still eats very limited meat. She will occasionally have two chicken nuggets if we dip them in enough ketch-up, but mostly it's a fries and chocolate milk meal. 

thirdtimesacharm2019

So either my swollen ankle busted the strap on one of my favorite sandals or the glue was lose from not being worn all winter (is that even a thing?). I think I’m in denial that I’m so fat I broke a shoe. 

thirdtimesacharm2019

@peachy0709 I love CFA nuggets, but sometimes, like last night, I will crave McDonald’s nuggets. It’s so weird. I know they aren’t even real chicken.

Beauxbaton

I never participate on HDBD because I'm very "plus size." So I don't even look pregnant. I just look fat. 🤷‍♀️