Chart Stalk/Questions- May 2019

spacemountaineer

Ask away!



Edit: 1st attempt to add gif and I failed.

inthewoods23

You guys ever have heart to heart conversations with YH where you basically find out they're done trying for a kid and are only doing things because you want to keep trying new things?

This was not fun to hear while we were at the zoo today 🙁

brookert615

@inthewoods23 I’m so sorry, not the thing you needed to hear! Sending all the love your way! ❤️

keikilove

@inthewoods23 I’m so sorry that’s how your conversation went. To answer your question: yes, MH told me this awhile back before we started really really trying. Oddly, once we learned I had all these invisible health issues to overcome is when he had a change of heart. Not sure why it shifted things for him—maybe something about mortality and having a generation to follow. Anyway, I’m glad MH had a change of heart & I truly hope yours does too. It could just be that he’s in a phase like what we go through when we want to throw in the towel. Hoping it changes soon.❤️

begging4abump

@inthewoods23 what a gut punch. I’m so sorry. Sometimes I’m guilty of saying things I don’t mean, so perhaps that is the case with dh? I know you two have such a solid foundation together based off many of your comments the last few months, so hopefully things feel better soon. 

inthewoods23

I believe part of it is the fact that he was never really comfortable even with the IUIs in that it wasn't truly natural and it's even further from that with IVF.

And the other part... As of right now he's at a really good spot in his career and his big thing is leaving behind a legacy. Before that was by having kids (he wanted to have his name carried on). Leading a team of high schoolers now and inspiring them in STEM is enough of a legacy for him.

The conversation was actually really good because, at least for me, I've realized that I probably have a few mental issues I need to deal with and seeing a therapist is most likely in the future. And maybe he and I should see one together too.

spacemountaineer

@inthewoods23 - Oh, that would be gut-wrenching! I'm so sorry. No advice from me but hugs for sure!

celticknotfire

@inthewoods23 I am so sorry.  It's good you guys are addressing the issues now and have a plan for how to deal with everything.  Sending good thoughts and hugs your way

emeraldduchess

@inthewoods23 I am so sorry!  That must have been so hard to hear. Lots of hugs to you. 💚

kbrown2385

@inthewoods23 yes dh has told me that he’s content with where we are in life and it wouldn’t matter to him. He’s basically doing it for me since I’m the one who keeps going with testing etc. 

ruby696

*lurking*

@inthewoods23 Ugh, that is a hard conversation to have. I'm sorry YH feels differently than you. I know MH is perfectly content with our life now and absolutely was only on board with trying because that's what I wanted. He would love a baby but is also happy with our life if a baby never happens. It's hard when they don't want it like we do. I think it's wonderful that you're considering therapy and yes, you should go together too. 

Lastly, people used to (and still do) say c-sections aren't "natural." Okay, but so what? What's the alternative? A baby is still a baby, regardless if how it was conceived. I hope YH comes around and you go forward with IVF.

inthewoods23

@ruby696 we are moving forward! I did tell him though that I don't think I could do more than 1 retrieval so hopefully we get a good number of embyros.

He's much more busy career wise than I am so I get where he's coming from for how we would fit in the time to be a good family unit and spending time as a family. Hopefully he eventually understands that others will understand when he's like "sorry, family time".

And really, who honestly has that picture perfect easy life anyway?

kagesstarshroom

@inthewoods23 Have yall listened to Hamilton: an American Musical? (Or gone to see it, but if you said yes I would be a jealous jelly)? I ask because LEGACY is a big theme in the musical. Also bc I stan Hamilton. And I agree w/ you--and feel like maybe this is common thought not ubiquitous with men--in that it is likely that he'd want to and make time for the family when (I am an optimist) you have one.

inthewoods23

@kagesstarshroom we have not listened to Hamilton. Not much of a musical person.

I told him too that we'll just have to always plan something. Like Sunday is always a family day whether that be going to the zoo, on a walk, or out somewhere, or just general play time. And at this point, he'll have almost 2 years as the program lead at the high school so things should run much smoother by the time we're a unit of 3. Like over this weekend he worked on developing a new team website. Once that's established, that's not something he'll be doing in the future so hopefully he'll have less to do.

bows22

@inthewoods23 going to go ahead and put this in a spoiler for TW LC

DH and I are both pretty focused on our careers but in my opinion it hasn’t kept us from getting adequate family time at all. It’s exactly like you said, you have to schedule the family time and then make that untouchable. For us, we keep 1 weekend a month free where we don’t make any plans and those weekends are always such a great recharge.  Since we set aside that 1 weekend we have less time available to make plans with friends but I guess that’s the trade off. 

rikiteacup

I am sorry @inthewoods23. 
I think individual therapy would be beneficial. 

chichiphin

I'm having some anxiety about this letrozole cycle. I've had a cycle with 4 follicles maturing, but 2 on each ovary. This time all 4 are on my left. Is there a possibility of crowding and then lack of growth for any of the follies? They're appox 20mm, 18mm, and 2 at 16mm today

edit to say that I will not trigger (insurance doesn't cover injectables) and I usually release between 29-30mm. 

ruby696

@chichiphin Take this with a grain of salt, since my body refuses to produce more than one follie at a time - even with meds - but I don't think you need to be nervous. My RE told me that some doctors will cancel IVF cycles if there are not 8-10 mature follies, which means there would be multiple on one side.  

chichiphin

@ruby696 logically that makes sense... ttc brain is full on

inthewoods23

@chichiphin I think the main issue I've seen about that is the eggs being crowded in the tube and that could be a problem?

One of the gals in one of the IUI threads on the IF board had like.. 10 follicles growing during 1 cycle. Their doc almost cancelled the cycle but they ended up going through with it. 

chichiphin

@inthewoods23 totally forgot to look at the IUI threads in IF... duh I should have posted this question there!!! 

kagesstarshroom

This only minorly has to do w/ TTC: The other day, I thought I felt a lump in my breast, so I was like squeezing it all over--and now it hurts like hell. All Dr. Google can tell me is that I either, like, injured the inside of my boob or it's a cyst or both-- and, most importantly, there's nothing to worry about. (****Minor TTC note & TW: Loss***** According to the internet, cysts are slightly more common post-mc but esp. once you turn 35. *****TW done*****)

But yeah, Dr. Google has NOT been great at telling me what to do to make it stop hurting! I was holding my cup of tea to it earlier lol and that helped a little? (What REALLY helps is not thinking about it, then I totally forget it hurts, but I am super bad at distracting myself.) Anyone else ever... over feel themselves up in search of a lump & have to deal w/ a hurt breast & have any advice? I'll also take coupons for ice cream and consolation. 

brookert615

@kagesstarshroom I think it’s worth calling your doctor to get checked and ease your mind. I have friends that get cysts surgically removed because they’re so painful. My doctor always told me to call if I had pain or if something felt like the eraser on a pencil. FX! 

chichiphin

Okay ladies - anyone have extreme low back/side of hip pain? I’m 3-4DPO. I’m wondering if this is a side effect of progesterone that is new to me?

edit - or could it just be horrific gas and constipation lol 

zaslawlz

@chichiphin progesterone can lead to thrombosis...I'd take a look at this and see if it resonates with you

https://www.stoptheclot.org/learn_more/womens_health_faq.htm

celticknotfire

@chichiphin progesterone does cause constipation so I would suggest increasing your fiber or try taking some colace. 

chichiphin

@celticknotfire I really hope that’s it... it was pretty uncomfortable last night so I was worried something was wrong. Seems to be mildly better this morning 

NYTino24

Hi, guys! I’ll probably be joining soon afternoon my procedure tomorrow. RE appointment isn’t until June 12, but I’ve been lurking and love-titting for months. 


@chichiphin As far as I know, the worry with multiple follicles is more about higher order multiples during IUI and not necessarily them keeping each other from developing. For IVF, there is a risk of overstimulation. My sister had 15 and a cancelled cycle. My BFF had severe OHSS and ended up hospitalized. I think you may be okay depending on what happens, but call your doc if you’re worried. Keep us posted!

kpearse99

Talk to me about ovulation strips....
I've avoided using them because I didn't want the added stress (as if TTC isn't stressful enough already, right?!) and DH and I were really trying to not make the whole process feel like a job.  Well, that's a heck of a lot easier for him to do than it is for me so I'm thinking, after 8 months of trying that now it's time to "try" a little harder and I ordered the SmileReader ones from Amazon.  Here are my questions:

I'm on CD 2, so I'll start testing on CD10, right? 
When do take them? 
      Mornings when you first wake up?  Afternoon while at work?!  In the evenings? 
      Do you take them more than once a day at a certain point in your cycle?
Once you get a blazing result, when do you do the deed and for how many days after?
      Do you keep testing once you get one blazing result?

Ugh, I'm having anxiety about doing this....

Also, not related to ovulation strips, but why and when would your doctor put you on Clomid?  I know it's for ovulation purposes, but only if it's discovered you are not ovulating on your own?

brookert615

@kpearse99 Those are the ones I use! I really like the app, too! I personally start on CD9. Once the lines get a bit darker the app will tell you if you should test later in the day again. But when I try and hold my bladder and keep it concentrated I will take one around 2pm and another at 7pm. I have turned them with FMU but a lot of places do not suggest that. I do take them at work and have a cut up cup I bring with me to the bathroom. Once I get a high or peak I will try to HIO usually that day and then the next couple days for good measure lol. 

Also with the SmileReader app you can have YH download it and he will get push notifications once you get a peak or if he's curious he can look at that calendar/charts. 

My one doctor suggested Clomid but the other suggested Letrozole. I have had cycles where I haven't ovulated but I have PCOS so I think that's why they want me on something? 

rikiteacup

@kpearse99 I don't use the SmileReader but as for testing times, I would read the recommendations that come in the box.
I use the Wondfo strips. I test around 5-6PM. Once I get a blazing positive, I know ovulation is going to happen in the next 12-48 hours. 
The 1st time I used them, I started testing CD10. After a few cycles, I knew I never O'ed before CD15 so now I test at CD12/13. Also, we HIO as soon as I start seeing EWCM which is usally around CD12/13. Then we stop once O is confirmed (huge temp shift).
Once I get my first blazing result at 6PM, I will test the next day around lunch time (another blazing results) and then at 6PM. This one is always negative.
The OPK are just to let me know when to expect ovulation. I always O on CD15, 17 or 18. If I don't get a blazing positive on CD14 at 6PM, I know O won't happen CD15 so we keep HIO. Once I see a blazing positive on CD16, I know O day will be either CD17 or 18. We then wait for the temp shift to stop HIO.

kpearse99

@brookert615 thanks for the info and help!  More questions though... You said you start on CD9, what time of day do you start testing in then?  Do you always have to hold your bladder for a few hours before taking one?

I'm not sure why, but OPK's are stressing me out before I even use them!

whitealbum29

@kpearse99 - I start taking them around CD 9 or 10, knowing they will be low for a few days (I use the Easy@Home ones that they sell in huge packages of like 75 tests on Amazon for maybe $30.)

I also take a picture of the result and log it in the app called Pre-Mom so I can compare the tests to each other to see the test line getting darker.

I think you're supposed to take them between about 10am-early evening? I believe with this brand first morning urine is not recommended. I take them in the afternoon at around 4pm on average (I think you're technically supposed to pick a time and stick to it but stuff gets in the way sometimes). I do take them at work in my tiny, not very private office with just a single bathroom so that's been...interesting! I have a whole system down now where I've figured out how to hide them when I walk back to my desk so I can look at it when my 5min timer goes off. It's absurd. Hopefully your work schedule will allow you to not do this to your life hahah.

I generally have been O'ing around day 18-19ish so once I get to about 16ish I'll try to take one earlier in the afternoon and one at around 4 to make sure I don't miss the surge.

Once I get the surge ideally we've already been HIO at least every other day since about CD 10, and then I'll make sure we do it the day of the surge and the day after the surge b/c from what I understand the surge happens 12-36 hours before O.

And yes keep testing once you get the blazing result so you can make sure that was really the surge and it doesn't get darker! I keep testing till it gives me a definite "low" result/very light line.

Re: Clomid - my doctor put me on it in Feb and March after I had been trying about 6 months because I had long/irregular cycles (like 40+ days or so) so either seemed to not be O'ing or O'ing at like day 28 which she said was too late for implantation to happen.

Sorry for the novel, I hope this makes sense and is helpful! And if anyone else sees mistakes above let me know! I'm def no expert. 

Let me know if you have any more Q's or need clarification, I'm excited that I can actually offer experience b/c I'm hopeless when it comes to temp/chart questions!

edit typo

MJDsquared

@kpearse99
**TW** previous pregnancy/LC **TW**
I was diagnosed with PCOS when TTC #1 after I went off BC pills and my cycle didn't return after 60 days. So then I did Provera + Clomid (Clomid did not make me ovulate). Then it was Provera + Letrozole.

kpearse99

whitealbum29 said:

I generally have been O'ing around day 18-19ish so once I get to about 16ish I'll try to take one earlier in the afternoon and one at around 4 to make sure I don't miss the surge.

Thank you so much for the full details!!  It is helpful! But, I think this is the part that confuses me the most... about not missing the surge... and is the most stressful seeming about the whole process.... 

brookert615

@kpearse99 I just try to avoid drinking a bunch of water and try and hold it for a few hours. Sometimes if I know that my day is going to be full of that I will just try to hold it after FMU and take a test around 10/11. They tell you to take them at the same time every day but sometimes LIFE happens and since you're just starting you might need to figure out when your body likes to have a surge. Lately I've been lazy and taking them with FMU (not recommended by SmileReader) when I use my advanced opks because I'm trying to compare the both and then will take another of the SmileReader tests later on at night. Usually I'll just not drink water and hold it until right before dinner and test. 

kagesstarshroom

@brookert615 @kpearse99 So my trick for that is to wake up in the middle of the night and pee--so what I am using, when I use my urine after I get up, is not technicalllly FMU bc I've slept a few hours, AND it's still after 3-4 hours. It's WAY harder to hold pee for 3-4 hours when you're awake. 

inthewoods23

@kpearse99 I used to start my OPKs a little early, like CD10 or 12 when I typically don't O until CD18 or 18 just to be safe and make sure I get the surge. I'd start with testing once a day, then as it started getting close to being a little dark I would do once in the AM then in the PM when I got home from work. I actually found that my first + would be the evening test! And for me I would get 2-3 positives total (sometimes blazing, sometimes not) before it would lighten enough to be considered negative.

kagesstarshroom

@inthewoods23 My OPK experiences sound much like yrs! It was like you were describing mine haha.

ruby696

Question for those who don't chart their entire cycle - does FF still give you crosshairs if you skip the first week of your cycle? 

kagesstarshroom

@ruby696 I do vaginal temps so I usually don't start charting until day 5-7, and I've gotten CHs.