PGAL Discussion May

SpongeWorthy

1. How many weeks are you? 

2. Previous loss(es)? 

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? 

4. Any appointment updates? 

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? 

6. Any milestones coming up? 

7. GTKY: What’s your biggest pet peeve?

SpongeWorthy

Hey everyone.  I’m going to join in here if that’s alright.

1. How many weeks are you? 5+3

2. Previous loss(es)? DS in August 2018 at 14 months old
CP March 2019

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically, fine.  Although I haven’t been eating as well as I should be due to the move and that makes me feel guilty.
Emotionally, I’m getting more anxious for our appointment next week.  My symptoms have been mild, and I just have this feeling like something is wrong.

4. Any appointment updates? First appointment is May 9 for a dating ultrasound.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions?  With your losses, did you have a gut feeling that something was wrong with the pregnancy?

6. Any milestones coming up? Nope.  I think if we make it past the anatomy scan with good news, I may be able to relax.  Until then, I’ll have to be more reserved.

7. GTKY: What’s your biggest pet peeve? Lateness or canceling at the last minute.

bakerstreetboys

@Spongeworthy With my first couple of losses, I didn't suspect that anything was wrong.  With the last two I did, but only because I didn't believe that I could have a successful pregnancy.  So it wasn't anything to do with symptoms, it was purely an emotional thing, if that makes sense.  I think that until I have a healthy baby here, I will assume that something is wrong with the pregnancy.  PGAL is tough.

1. How many weeks are you? 8 weeks today

2. Previous loss(es)? 4 previous losses, most recently in January at 16 weeks due to T-18.

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically I feel like crap, so I guess that's a good thing...? Emotionally, I'm trying not to get too excited by the pregnancy.  My last pregnancy was going along just fine until we got the NIPT results, so I can't relax even though I have a ton of symptoms.

4. Any appointment updates? First appointment with OB yesterday.  It was just mostly an intake to schedule the next couple of u/s and get the requisition for the NIPT.  They moved my due date up by three days based on my last u/s.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? 

6. Any milestones coming up? I'll get the blood work for NIPT done in about a week and a half.  If that comes back as low risk, and the 12 week NT scan is good, I'll consider that a milestone.

7. GTKY: What’s your biggest pet peeve? Ooh, only one?!  I have so many these days  People who are late, and people who drive slowly in the left lane.  Oh, and rudeness.

holly321

@spongeworthy I have actually been very symptomatic in all my pregnancies, including losses.  This one seems less so, but I have some symptoms.  I am trying to put little thought into it.  Although, I have bled more in all my pregnancies but this one( even non losses) so I am hoping it won’t happen this time. 

holly321

1. How many weeks are you? 6 2d

2. Previous loss(es)? Mmc at 14 weeks, MMC/ malignant molar pregnancy 8/17 and cp 12/18

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically?  Physically, not terrible.  I keep getting migraines and food is unappealing.

4. Any appointment updates?  Ultrasound on Tuesday 

5. Rants/Raves/Questions?  I have a 4 day weekend coming up.  My BIL is getting married on Saturday, so that should be fun. 

6. Any milestones coming up?  No

7. GTKY: What’s your biggest pet peeve?  Lateness.  It is really rude and inconsiderate.

k_mama91

1. How many weeks are you? 8w6d

2. Previous loss(es)? April 2019, Twin A ; May 2016 ectopic 

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? I am a freaking basket case since our appointment Monday revealed Twin A is vanishing. I’ve been reassured by dr and reading up on it and there is supposedly no risk to Twin B but I can’t help but feel this sense of impending doom. I was actually feeling positive about this pregnancy, had typical symptoms, both babies had looked good. Now I’m terrified we’ll lose B too.

4. Any appointment updates? Next appt on the 9th with my OB, we’ve graduated our ivf clinic 

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Is anyone else breaking out like a 13 year old girl?

6. Any milestones coming up? Our next appt, praying so hard this baby is still growing. 

7. GTKY: What’s your biggest pet peeve? Late people. It’s so rude and selfish. You know you have to be somewhere at a certain time, get your ass up and ready accordingly! 

Megz1902

1. How many weeks are you?  EDD 12/7 , 8w4d

2. Previous loss(es)?  CP in 2016, MC Oct 2018, CP Dec 2018

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically?  Emotionally feeling good. Physically: tired, nauseous, moody

4. Any appointment updates? Had an U/S and first appointment with midwife on Monday, so relieved to see a heartbeat. Next appointment on 5/28 for another U/S (nuchal translucency I think) and second prenatal visit. 

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Since we are all here b/c we have experienced loss, how should I tell a close friend who has had multiple losses (she does have 1 living child, bookended by losses) that we are pregnant? She does know about my losses. Is a text message safest? Or too impersonal? I want to give her "room" to process as needed on her own terms. 

6. Any milestones coming up? Getting out of the first trimester will make me feel more secure in this pregnancy. 

7. GTKY: What’s your biggest pet peeve? People who post statuses on Facebook just looking for attention...ALL.THE.TIME. 

koala_in_the_rain

Still not quite ready to intro and jump in yet, but was hoping it would be okay if I joined in this thread. 

@SpongeWorthy - I had this sense of impending doom with my last pregnancy that I just couldn’t shake, regardless of what the scans and tests said. 

@Megz1902 - I think a text would be safest and give your friend a chance to process and react on her own terms. I would include something in your message to her as to why you’re telling her via text.

1. How many weeks are you? 8w 2d

2. Previous loss(es)? MMC Nov 2018

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally, a little rough around the edges. I can’t get excited about this pregnancy or picture it ending in a take home baby. Physically, my symptoms started to dissipate over the last few days, and cramps have been picking up a bit. It’s definitely playing into what I’ve stated in the emotional update. PGAL brain is a bitch. 

4. Any appointment updates? Had my first appointment this morning. Strong heart beat at 173 and everything looked good. Happens to be the same thing that happened with my previous loss, including the same heart rate, so my doc is letting me come back in 2 weeks for another viability scan. I’m hoping that I’ll start to feel some relief and excitement after that. 

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Not right now

6. Any milestones coming up? I got my BFP at the end of March, and a week later I was at the burial ceremony from my previous loss, which was harder than I expected. My second viability scan is scheduled for what should have been due date last time. 

7. GTKY: What’s your biggest pet peeve? I agree with what a number of you have said. People who are always late. 

Spartanrd4

1. How many weeks are you? 7w 3d

2. Previous loss(es)? MMC at 9 weeks in 3/2016, CP 1/2019

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically I feel pregnant- MS (gagging/dry heaving- worse in the morning), tired, bloated, constipated- sore boobs. No spotting which is good- just yellowish-white discharge (I am always paranoid and going to the bathroom to check for spotting) and random minor cramping. Emotionally just feeling disconnected to the baby- DH says I need to be more positive but its just hard, its hard for the guy to understand never having gone through a loss like we have. Having had a MMC in the past just really messes with you! 

4. Any appointment updates? Last week I had my first OB intake appt- all my blood work looked good, hcg was 59,000 at 6w 4d. Have a dating ultrasound on Sunday at 8 weeks which I am freaking out about- I think I will always have PTSD about ultrasounds. Scheduled my appt with genetics for NT scan and NIPT at 12 weeks. 

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Just want to fast forward to 2nd tri. Working with 2 pregnant women every day doesn't help with my anxiety. 

6. Any milestones coming up? Hoping 8 week ultrasound goes well and an all clear NIPT and NT scan will make me feel as well as anatomy scan. 

7. GTKY: What’s your biggest pet peeve? I hate when people are late! 

k_mama91

@Megz1902 I would say it depends on your friendship, like how close you are. And if she knows you’ve also suffered from losses. I had two friends who’ve had losses to share our news with, via text with one friend and in person with the other.

holly321

@megz1902 I would text.  My SIL found out she was pregnant just a few weeks before I did. I knew she was trying, and I know she has had her own struggles (took about 4 years to conceive her first) it was rough.  The text gave me time to process and handle it before I called her.  If she just called me, I know I would have cried, which would be unfair to both of us.

lvpuppy7

1. How many weeks are you? 5 weeks & 6 days

2. Previous loss(es)?  I had my beautiful daughter 8 years ago(2011) and wanted to give her a sibling. I had one loss at 8 weeks in Dec of 2017. I'm finally pregnant again and hoping this one will stick. 

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally I'm a wreck. I can't be happy in fear of another loss. Physically I'm fine. 

4. Any appointment updates? Just went to my first appt today, they did a lot of blood work but nothing to reassure me that everything is ok. Waiting for my next appointment on may 29.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Everyone is telling me to relax and think positive but how am I supposed to be positive if this might not work out. 

6. Any milestones coming up? The next appointment if everything is good. 

7. GTKY: What’s your biggest pet peeve? Entitled people.

spawnsvessel

1. How many weeks are you? 6w3d 

2. Previous loss(es)? CP January 2019

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally, very anxious. Trying not to look for any small signs of MC and just waiting to hear that HB on Monday. Physically, lots of cramping today which scares me. And over all just tired, hungry, and thirsty.

4. Any appointment updates? May 6th, US

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Not really.

6. Any milestones coming up? Hopefully a strong HB on Monday

7. GTKY: What’s your biggest pet peeve? When people ask if I want a boy or a girl. I want a healthy, viable baby.

c1kc1kpol1cn1k

1. How many weeks are you? Could be 4 or 5, My EDD is either the last day of Dec or very early Jan, if you don't mind I will hang out here until my dating ultrasound to see where I go 

2. Previous loss(es)? MC Sep18 & March19

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Ok, trying not to think about anything here. Physically just some minor nausea in the evening and not interested in food at all. Really hoping to get strong symptoms in the coming weeks. 

4. Any appointment updates? Today I go in to find out my progesterone level's. No additional Beta's have been ordered so now I'm anxious. They also told me to a book an ultrasound for when I think I'm 7ish weeks, followed by a prenatal visit. 

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Thank you for your help last week everyone, I will wait to book my ultrasound  most likely for around the 16th/17th (I could be anywhere from late 6 to 7 weeks then). I know it is ideal to wait longer but I'm leaving the country on May 22nd for a month and want to get in an ultrasound prior to leaving + first prenatal visit then.

6. Any milestones coming up? I need to make it to make it to Monday. That is when my last loss happened, (23/24 DPO)

7. GTKY: What’s your biggest pet peeve? people who are so closed minded on what is out there in the world

SpongeWorthy

Thanks everyone for your input.  I’m hoping it’s just PGAL brain giving me a gut feeling that something is wrong.  This is my first time being PGAL, so maybe this is just how it will be.  My nausea started in earnest today, so that is reassuring.

@holly321 How was your ultrasound?

@k_mama91 I’m so sorry about your vanishing twin.  I’m sure you knew it was a possibility, but what a gut punch.  Are you feeling any better?

@koala_in_the_rain I’m sorry for the difficult milestones coming up ❤️

@Spartanrd4 FX for your ultrasound on Sunday 🤞

@spawnsvessel YES to just wanting a healthy baby.  I couldn’t care less what genitals they have 🙄

@c1kc1kpol1cn1k Hey!  Nice to see you here!  How did the bloodwork go?

cpk3535

1. How many weeks are you? 9W3D

2. Previous loss(es)? 1 blighted ovum in September 2018.  It took a while to conceive both this time and last time, so I really hope this one sticks.

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? I’m feeling emotionally pretty good, but I’ve also had flashbacks to my miscarriage which was actually around week 11 last time.  I’ve had a good early appointment where I actually saw a developing baby and a heartbeat, which I never saw last time.  I’m still trying to not get too attached to the idea of a baby yet- we have a beautiful 8 year old daughter and if we’re not meant to have another child, maybe this is God’s or the universe’s way of telling us that.  Physically, I have been feeling sick, gassy, rough sleep, broken out, headaches, dehydrated, sore boobs- all of the above!

4. Any appointment updates? I have an appointment on Wednesday at 10 weeks for another ultrasound and NIPTs testing.   Even though I’ve had one ultrasound, I feel like I really need to see another.  And being older (38), I want to know if I have any issues with the developing baby, too.  

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? I never realized how clueless I was and how blissful my first pregnancy was- my daughter that I had right after I turned 30 was so easy and on track.  No morning sickness either!  Now I’m just worried all the time that my body is going to start bleeding and the baby will not be there on my next ultrasound.  Go away anxiety!!!

6. Any milestones coming up? Only a couple of weeks to pass our miscarriage from last time, FX 🙏

7. GTKY: What’s your biggest pet peeve? Snotty, snobby people, particularly men who can’t handle the thought that a woman might know more than they do.  I feel so bad for women involved with these jerks.

jandawg

1. How many weeks are you? 6w4d

2. Previous loss(es)? MMC Dec 2018

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Ive been at a symposium this week full of good energy and amazing learning experiences so I'm feeling very full of joy. It's helped to alleviate the anxiety. Physically, my boobs are so sore, fatigued, mild nausea, some heartburn, and also constipation. 

4. Any appointment updates? Bloodwork on Monday, first midwife appt on May 16

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Wish I was going for an earlier ultrasound but it seems like I won't be able to go until at least 8 weeks. Also...possible TMI* does anyone find that being constipated makes them have to pee slower? I don't have any symptoms of a UTI (no pain or anything) and I have to go quite frequently. 

6. Any milestones coming up? 

7. GTKY: What’s your biggest pet peeve? Repititive noises ( like people tapping chairs or forks)

k_mama91

@SpongeWorthy Thank you. I’m feeling better after I’ve had time to process, just super anxious and wanting to make it to the second trimester. This may sound really ignorant but I had no idea that this was a common occurrence in twin pregnancy. We were just so relieved that ivf had worked that I didn’t bother asking those questions at that first appointment. To be fair though, it wasn’t until the second appointment that our RE told us the statistics on vanishing twins and twin births. 

klmcguire

Kind of late to the game here, but I will jump in anyways! 

1. How many weeks are you?  8 weeks

2. Previous loss(es)? 3 (2 CP, 1BO)

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? MH thinks I have PTSD, basically I am freaking out about everything. He is a NP and I have basically made him let me come once a week for the last 3 weeks to use their US machine, just to check in. 

4. Any appointment updates? Confirmation Appt was 6w4d. Next appt is May 22 at 10 weeks. 

5. Rants/Raves/Questions?  So glad the time of beautiful weather has finally arrived! Between winter depression and morning sickness I pretty much was hating life. 

6. Any milestones coming up? I passed the 90% mark for not having a MC this week and I have never been more excited to see that milestone pass. I am feeling a little more hopeful.

7. GTKY: What’s your biggest pet peeve? SO MANY. I guess my biggest is the laundry hamper. I literally have them placed in all rooms and somehow the clothes end up behind the doors. EVERY DAY.

klmcguire

@k_mama91 My face is SO gross. I look like a kid going through puberty.

@SpongeWorthy , @bakerstreetboys , @holly321 , @k_mama91 , @Spartanrd4
I agree with you all. Lateness is horrible, but what gets me fired up worse than someone being late is when you have a scheduled time to be somewhere and they still make you wait another 15 minutes... LIKE, YOU KNEW I WAS COMING. So rude.

bakerstreetboys

@klmcguire If I had access to an u/s machine like that, I'd be in there way more often than once a week!  I'd be proud of your restraint!

klmcguire

bakerstreetboys said:

@klmcguire If I had access to an u/s machine like that, I'd be in there way more often than once a week!  I'd be proud of your restraint!

Its not a great one and has no sound... Apparently an ER doesn't need high tech equipment, but I can see a little heartbeat and a baby, that is all I care about! I also sit in the Dr's lounge and eat their sacks while I am there, so another win!

SpongeWorthy

@k_mama91 I’m glad you’re feeling a little better.  I hope you continue to get positive news!

@klmcguire I know how you feel!  I struggled with PTSD even before DS passed, just from all the hospital stays and pregnancy trauma. Then he had a very traumatic and sudden death, so that compounded everything.  It’s taken a lot of work with counselors and support groups to get back to a good place mentally.  I’m definitely going to go to my counselor regularly for this pregnancy!

c1kc1kpol1cn1k

@SpongeWorthy bloodwork was good, progesterone is at 18. She still prescribed me some progesterone in case.

@cpk3535 glad you had a successful ultrasound and good luck at your appointment this week!

@jandawg good luck at your blood work, let us know how it goes 😊

@klmcquire that’s awesome that you have been able to track baby’s development each week! I wish I could go in each week to see what is going on

c1kc1kpol1cn1k

Today is my EDD of my first loss, I'm handling it much better than I thought. I also am starting to notice more symptoms today

mommystuebs

Well the jan group opened so im going to start it, ive posted the read first b/o and the introduce yourself part any others i should add? Hopefully some members join me soon !

Last draw was friday and numbers were 2580! I also switched drs to one who put me on progesterone . I wish you all a happy and healthy 9 months!

cpk3535

@c1kc1kpol1cn1k How far along were you when you miscarried last time?  I hope you’re still doing well, but don’t bottle anything up.  If you need to release or meditate on it, do that.

On another note to our group, I hope this isn’t TMI or depressing to share, but I had a flashback the other day to my miscarriage in September that ended with my ER d&c procedure.  It was surreal, as I was reading a book about how to care for myself pregnant this round, I was drifting off to that memory, almost physically feeling that bodily release.  I’m trying to keep positive, but we’ve still only told a couple of immediate family members.

I hope we’re all continuing to do well.  Lots of love to our beautiful group ❤️  

c1kc1kpol1cn1k

@cpk3535 September loss was at 8.5 weeks this one in march was just at 5 weeks. The one in september was much more traumatic to be honest and I'm doing much better since then.

Thank you for sharing your story, flashbacks definitely happen. Try to keep positive and not think to much about the what if's!

jandawg

@c1kc1kpol1cn1k good advice in terms of trying to stay positive and not thinking about what ifs! Something I'm sure we all could use.

I got my bloodwork back today and my HCG is 69459 which seems well in range for 7 weeks / 8th week. The technician was great too - no bruising for once!

cpk3535

I just had my 10w ultrasound and NIPTs bloodwork done today- everything went really great!  It was abdominal today, so my DD came in with us and and saw the ultrasound.  She was really into it!  The baby was actually quite wiggly when we first tuned in, and DD was excited that she saw the baby wave at her!  Heart beat was around 150 BPM, growth looks right on track.  Starting to feel like we’re almost out of the woods!  I’ll feel even better when I see the results of the NIPTs next week sometime.  Being an “old” mommy (38 going on 39 in October), I really want to make sure this kiddo is going to be healthy and not have any major developmental issues.  Also looking forward to my early reveal of the sex!  Crossing our fingers for a girl 🌸. I’ll post my ultrasound pic in the other forum!  

c1kc1kpol1cn1k

@cpk3535 great news on the ultrasound! Love that you get to share that with DD

Question: I just received my progesterone suppositories, they came packed with cold packs. Does this mean I should store them in the fridge, or just a cool dry space? I've read it could be either or, so not sure if any of you have experience with this? 

k_mama91

@c1kc1kpol1cn1k mine we’re delivered with my other ivf meds which I had to sign for. The cold pack is likely in case they were left outside/in a warm vehicle. They melt upon insertion so they need to be kept out of the heat. Mine are on the bathroom sink.

Megz1902

My next appointment and U/S are not until the 28th, which is after Memorial Day weekend. We are going to my in-law's cottage and will be around a lot of family and friends. I expect in 2 weeks my bump will be pretty hard to hide (12 weeks, not my first pregnancy), so we planned on telling everyone (extended family and long time family friends) there that weekend. 

Cue PGAL anxiety and worrying what if we tell them and then the appointment when we get home there is no heartbeat??? I hate that I think this way now. 

so my question is: would you schedule an office visit just to have the midwife check for a heartbeat with the doppler? I just want a little peace of mind before we tell more than our parents and siblings. I will be 11W5D the thursday before Memorial Day weekend, when I would try to schedule the appt., so they should be able to find it. I have a home doppler, but I didn't use it before 14 weeks last pregnancy, then once I could feel kicks I quit using it.  I don't want to re-schedule the u/s, because they wanted it at 12-13 weeks for the NT scan.

Thanks ladies, I appreciate all the support thus far. 

k_mama91

@Megz1902 I’m struggling with the same. I’m terrified something will go wrong. DH feels like whatever is going to happen will happen regardless of who/when we tell. I agree but I don’t think I could handle being in that situation. I’d see if I could get an appt for heartbeat just for reassurance first. Do whatever feels right for you!

bakerstreetboys

@Megz1902 PGAL brain is a bitch.  I'm waiting until we have the all clear from the NT scan and NIPT test before we tell people.  I know it won't change the outcome, but that's what I'm comfortable with.  If they'll get you in just to hear the h/b, that's awesome and I'd do it!  FWIW, I found the h/b for the first time on my home doppler yesterday at 9w3d, so maybe that's worth a try too

cpk3535

@bakerstreetboys Same for me on the NIPTs, I want to make sure those results look good before sharing with anybody else.  So far, my parents know, my MIL knows, and out daughter knows.  I wouldn’t have even told my parents yet except that we wanted to share with our daughter on a little reveal trip, and we needed a dog sitter!  It’s been fine, but even my mom’s weird speculations have driven me crazy at times.  I just haven’t talked much about it with anybody, so it’s nice to have this group to chat with and share things with.  Looking forward to feeling more in the “safe” zone 😊

jandawg

@Megz1902 After our loss in Dec last year - which we only toldy in-laws about once it was happening - my in-laws said to just tell them this time so we told them Friday (at 7w3d)- they are super excited and I was like "me too, but also terrified". I think someone else on here said something about sharing the joy, so that's what I'm trying to focus on.

Just to mess with my brain further, I had some light brown spotting midday yesterday and this morning (which seems to have stopped). I'm just trying to stay positive - easier said then done! 

Wishing relaxing vibes and thinking good thoughts for us all.

c1kc1kpol1cn1k

@Megz1902 any updates? Did you decide to schedule something in earlier? 

How is everyone doing in general? I'm finally going in to my first ultrasound tomorrow. I've been trying not to think about it until now, but I am excited to know what my actual due date is and where I stand in this pregnancy. 

cpk3535

I’m still playing it very low key!  Waiting on the test results still, after that I still don’t know when I’ll be comfortable sharing with the general public.  In some way, I don’t really feel compelled to share at all until we’re in for sure.  I mean, at this point, I only look bloated, mainly after dinner.  I’m also at a point with social media where I don’t really care for everybody to know what’s happening in our lives.  I like the privacy, one of the things I love most about this group is the anonymity with the support.  When people know too much, they just pester you.  No thanks!  I’m worried enough on my own! 😉

I really hope for the best for all of us. Lots of love to all of you ❤️❤️❤️

Spartanrd4

I'm hanging in there.... symptoms are strong but I had a MMC before so that's not really that reassuring. Got my thyroid checked today (I have hypothyroidism), level Iooks good! I see my OB on Monday, not sure if he will try the Doppler....I didn't try at 10 weeks last time with DD because I have a tipped uterus and she was afraid it would be too early. I want to hear it but at the same time if he can't find the HB I will be freaked out. I have my NT/NIPT at 12 weeks and nervous about that too. The brown spotting from my sch is minimal which I'm happy about....just taking things day by day at this point! 

jandawg

I had my first midwife appointment yesterday and it went well. She went through all my bloodwork in more detail and it all looked good, and she said that even though I've been spotting it's really reassuring that it's brown and my HCG levels have been rising. She was also determined to get me an earlier ultrasound and they called this morning to give me an appointment for tomorrow! I'm so excited and nervous and really just trying to focus on positive thoughts.

Wishing well for everyone.