TTCAL w/o 4/29

emeraldduchess

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage/spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.** 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.:

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: What is your favorite way to treat yourself? 

*edit: change GTKY because I am pretty sure we already did that!

hanshotfirst77

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: MMC 2/19

Status: TWW 

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Well had my IUI on Saturday, started estrace and endometrin yesterday . Hoping we got the timing right!

I probably have one more cycle after this and then I need to figure out if I want to go for IVF or not. 

For positive news, officially bought a house! Closed last Friday. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope, seriously considering no testing until beta.

GTKY: What is your favorite way to treat yourself? Coffee and something chocolatey and binge some favorite shows

kbrown2385

@hanshotfirst77 congrats on the house! Fix this is your cycle!

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: 6 losses 12/13, 1/17, 11/17, 4/18, 9/18, 2/19

Status: wto

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Things are going well this week. Excited to see how I’m reacting to the clomid tomorrow.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Mid cycle scan tomorrow 

GTKY: What is your favorite way to treat yourself? Reading or binge watching trashy tv

kagesstarshroom

@hanshotfirst77 Hope the IUI was a success! FX for you. Congrats on the house!

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: CP Oct. 2018; MMC w/ D&C Jan.-Feb. 2019

Status: Waiting for FF to confirm O

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? So, as yall might know, I am a poet. And I am the kind of poet who uses the raw material of my life in her poetry, which means a lot of the poems I've been writing lately--after a pretty serious drought of depression that made writing really hard for me--have been about TTC & my losses. I am also the host of my dept.'s reading series, and since this week is the last time I'll get to do that, my co-host and I are the featured readers. I have chosen a few poems I've written about my losses to read, and I'm struggling with that whole "if people know they will pity me/feel bad for me/want to talk about it/etc." all those feelings we get when we tell people. However, I think it's important for me to be open about it because I *want* to be--and I want people to know that things like this happen & that you can get through them, despite everyone's posts or TV commercials of things that trigger us that we have to suffer thru every day. (There were two in a row last night during World of Dance! I was like, um, can we get back to the dancing?!)

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Not sure when I'll POAS yet this cycle.

GTKY: What is your favorite way to treat yourself? macaroons, bubble tea, & a good book &/or a bath (before TTC I'd say an edible & a bath, but--welp.) 

ruby696

@hanshotfirst77 Oh wow, that's so exciting! Congrats on your new house! And FX for IUI

@kbrown2385 I'm glad the clomid doesn't seem to be giving you too hard of a time. FX for lots of follies tomorrow! 

@kagesstarshroom I applaud your courage in sharing your loss experiences. I would never be brave enough to share my feelings in a forum like that (just on the internet, apparently). I think you'll be glad you did it.

AFM....

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: 5 losses - 2 CP's and 3 MMC's.

Status: TWW

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I think I've finally come to terms with this being our last, or soon to be last, attempt. I'm just tired of caring about TTC so much and I'm ready to get back to my life. We discussed MH getting a vasectomy last night and I'm actually feeling pretty relieved. I know that once we can't TTC anymore, I'll be emotionally able to move on.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? BFN at 12dpiui, so WFAF.

GTKY: What is your favorite way to treat yourself? Coffee and a shopping day, even if I just browse and don't buy a lot.

emeraldduchess

@hanshotfirst77 congratulations on the new house! That is wonderful!

@kbrown2385 good luck at you scan tomorrow!

@kagesstarshroom that must be so cathartic to put your feeling out there in your writing. 

@ruby696 I am so sorry for the BFN. So many hugs. 💚 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: 1 early miscarriage in December at 5 weeks 

Status: WFAF. Started spotting today, so AF should be here by Wednesday. 

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Well I am obviously upset about another busted cycle, especially after my chart was so pretty. *TW it looked very similar to my chart from my bfp cycle. I also have a knitting bag full of baby blankets for other people. While I like making these for friends and family, it's starting to hurt my heart. End TW* I have also been struggling a LOT with my faith. My mother keeps telling me to just pray, but I am having a very hard time with it. Not just my own situation, but the unfairness of this process for so many other women and men. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? We have an appointment 5/23 with a fertility specialist. I want answers, but at the same time I am scared that if there is an issue, it can't be helped. DH is staying very positive about it, which is wonderful. He told me that while he is terrified of needles/bloodwork/etc., he thinks it will be worth it in the end. 

GTKY: What is your favorite way to treat yourself? New nail polish, occasionally a pedicure although years of dance have ruined my feet and I always feel so bad for the nail tech that needs to work on me. 😬At the end of every school year I buy myself a treat that I wouldn't spend money on during the school year, like a new purse, good quality shoes or tickets to a show. 

ruby696

@emeraldduchess I had about two days where I was so hopeful you and I would be moving to a BMB together. Well, we're still together, so I was half right. 🙂 It's hard to have faith and it's o hard to hear that you should keep praying. I do tell myself that this is my path and there must be some reason for it. But it's kind of like convincing myself I'm better off not eating a cookie. I still want it and I don't really believe it.

kbrown2385

@ruby696 I’m sorry for the bfn. I’m glad you and yh talked about it and you’re feeling like you’re in a good place. I hope to be able be in that place when we get to our end. 

@emeraldduchess I’m sorry for the bfn for you as well and I’m sorry you are struggling with your faith. It’s hard having people close to you say things like that. 

hanshotfirst77

@ruby696 @emeraldduchess sorry for the bfns, big hugs ladies

@kagesstarshroom sometimes TV commercials can be the worst. I watch a lot of Hulu, and they show a lot of the same commercials over and over. And there seems to be a lot of diaper commercials like thanks im just trying to binge watch some shows but thanks for reminding me of my IF/loss constantly. But I'm glad your poetry helps you cope. I've been writing in a journal for the last few months and it is so cathartic. 

sorarose

@hanshotfirst77 Congrats on the house!! And Fx for IUI!

@kbrown2385 Hope you have good results with the clomid.

@kagesstarshroom I hear you on the TV commercials. Or even some TV episodes. This stuff is ubiquitous.

@ruby696 Sorry for your BFN. I hope the future looks brighter for you.

@emeraldduchess I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I hope going to the fertility specialist can at least bring you some answers. 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: Blighted Ovum, D&C 3/19

Status: Benched

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Back at work after a vacation visiting family. The weeks since the D&C have blown by, but I keep thinking about how I'm supposed to be sharing the news with everyone because I would be in my 2nd trimester. Just waiting for AF to come, so that I can start tracking again and officially TTGP. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I have to repeat my betas this weeks, since I still had a low level of HCG in my system 2 weeks ago. It'll be 6 weeks tomorrow since the D&C, so hopefully it's back to normal.

GTKY: What is your favorite way to treat yourself? Sushi and a nap.

kagesstarshroom

@sorarose Hopefully you're back to normal! My ob wasn't concerned about tracking me to 0 after my d&c, she said when AF came, I know I'd be fine even if there was a trace amount, yet so many ppl on here have had their drs track them to zero--it's interesting how drs do things differently, is my point. Also, mmmm sushi. I should have had some during WTO! Darnit.

@hanshotfirst77 I totally know all my Hulu commercials by heart. Someone on World of Dance last night danced to a song that one of them uses, and I was like "this isn't even a song to me, it's a commercial." Oh well--at least Instagram stopped terrorizing me with parenting ads bc that was too much for me.

@ruby696 I am totally nervous to share my poetry, don't get me wrong! Most people in my life don't know about my losses. I am just... ready to be more vocal about them, and not let the fact that I'm about to go on the job market hold me back (The academic job market pretty much frowns on TTC.) Even though I'm not ready to be done trying, I totally get wanting your life back--I feel like I obsess over TTC way way too much, it really gets in the way of so much. 

@emeraldduchess I bet those feelings of wanting answers but not wanting to know if that means finding a big block in the road are normal. Have you read this book called NOT BROKEN? It lays out a lot of the issues that could cause RPL/pg loss in a clear way and the recommended steps for OBs and patients once something is diagnosed--I feel like its no-nonsense approach made me feel like whatever is wrong likely has a possible solution, esp. if you can diagnose it? 

AFM, I forgot to mention a thing! A happy-ish thing that made me cry!
I was using a pregnancy journal before my most recent loss, and I finally wrote the creators of them to thank them for it and ask if they wouldn't mind sending me photocopies of the first 8 weeks, since I'd had a loss and already written in them for that lost pregnancy, and we were trying again, and I hoped to get a chance to use the journal again--and the woman sent me back the NICEST email and they are shipping me a whole new journal with good vibes for a rainbow. I totally cried.

emeraldduchess

@ruby696 I was really hoping we'd graduate together, too. You have been so supportive and we would have taken J20 by storm.

@sorarose I hope you had a nice visit with you family! Good luck with betas this week, I hope the hgc is gone and you can get off the bench. 

emeraldduchess

@kagesstarshroom thanks for the book recommendation.  I will check it out before I see the RE.
That's so wonderful that you got such a lovely response from the journal creator. 💚

kbrown2385

@kagesstarshroom that is so sweet the journal creator did that for you. 

sorarose

@kagesstarshroom So I was given the option to do nothing, have a u/s, or betas. I chose the betas. I'm assuming the repeat now because they want to make sure the D&C got everything. My symptoms were basically gone immediately after the procedure, so I'm pretty confident I just tested HCG too early. I just want AF so badly because it will officially signal everything being over and moving forward.

shamrocandroll

Going to come back for tags!

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.:  MMC Nov, early loss Feb.

Status:  WTO, I think

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?  Man, I just feel like the hits just keep on coming for us.  Spoiler for long ramble.

Already posted about this in dailies and randoms, but MH broke his ankle the day before we picked up our new puppy.  I'm doing everything he normally does around the house, everything I usually do, and doing all of the puppy potty breaks by myself.  This all happened during my FW, so this cycle is probably a bust.  I stopped temping because I'm now waking up around 3:30AM to let the pup out, and I just can't bear to add another thing to do right now.  Work is also INSANE, and my work laptop is out for repair and my loaner won't work with my docking station and extra monitors.  The puppy is so so good, fortunately, and is doing great with house training despite us not really having as much time to be active with her as we hoped.  I am trying to run around the house with her in the morning before I leave and during lunch, but when I get home, there's just sooooo much to do that I'm not getting enough time to take her for a good, long walk.  A friend is letting us borrow a knee scooter today, so I am really hoping that will help allow him to be more up and about to get dinner ready while I take her out.  I'm also not doing my 5am walks right now, which sucks because I could really use the friend decompress time.  I can't wait to pick them back up once she's sleeping through the night, and hopefully she can join us on the walks once she's better on the leash.  I know a puppy is hard work, and I hate to whine about it, but I was just not expecting to be the only one really able to take care of her.  We're also going to be budget constrained for a while because MH is out of work and won't be getting full pay.  We'll be okay, but ugh.  Just so much stress right now!

Any testing coming up/any recent results?  I guess just WFAF at this point.  I'm guessing our CD 8 & 10 BDing won't be enough.  

GTKY: What is your favorite way to treat yourself?  A massage.  I haven't had one in like 3+ years, though.  I should really prioritize that as soon as things ease up a bit.

shamrocandroll

@hanshotfirst77 FX for a successful IUI!!!  And congratulations on your house!  So exciting!  I hope this is the start of a new adventure for you!

@kbrown2385 Good luck at your scan today!

@kagesstarshroom I admire your bravery for sharing something so raw!  You are helping to break the stigma.  I'm proud of you!  Also, now I really want bubble tea.  And coming back to add that's so nice about the journal.

@ruby696 I am so sorry about your BFN.  While I am so sad to see you go, I am really happy to hear you are at peace with your decision.  Thank you so much for all of your support here.   

@emeraldduchess I'm really sorry about the BFN.  Telling someone who is struggling with TTGP to pray is not helpful, in my opinion.  It's like you're putting the blame on them for not praying enough to be deserving, which feels like victim blaming to me, to a degree.  I hope you're able to use your faith positively, despite how others may make you feel.  

@sorarose I'm so glad the time has gone by quickly for you.  Those should-be dates are definitely really hard.  And WFAF AL is the worst.  I hope it happens soon and you can continue to heal.

emeraldduchess

@shamrocandroll I am so sorry about everything life has thrown at you recently.  I hope your DH's injury heals quickly! Hopefully Winnie keeps on being a good girl and gives you lots of snuggles. I think my mom's prayer comments stem from what she was always taught and how she personally finds comfort. 

ruby696

@shamrocandroll I'm so sorry you have so much on your plate right now! Your poor husband (and you too!). MH is pushing NTNP for a couple months, so I may still be around for a bit. I plan to break up with my RE tomorrow though. 🙂

puppylove8910

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: **TW, LO mentioned**

Hi ladies! I'm new to the AL group. A little background- I have a 2 year old DS that took over a year to conceive. During that year, I underwent a surgery to have my right tube removed due to a hydrosalpinx. Four months later I got my first ever BFP. Fast forward to this month, we decided to TTC #2. I got a faint positive at 11 DPO on a Wondfo and the next morning a really faint positive on a FRER (12 DPO). Something didn't seem right because with my DS it was undeniably positive. I decided to WFAF over the weekend, but it never showed. So Monday morning I took another FRER and the line was even fainter than my line at 12 DPO. I knew something was wrong. I had blood work done yesterday for HCG and this morning I woke up to cramping and bleeding. My OB confirmed a chemical pregnancy and my HCG level was a 6. While I was only 4w, 2d along it still stings. A loss is truly a loss 💔

Status: Day one of cramping/bleeding from CP.

What is something that you are struggling with this week? The emotional rollercoaster that has been the past 4 days. Seeing positive pregnancy tests get lighter and lighter causes a lot of mental stress and what ifs. 

What is going well for you this week? This hasn't been a great week, but being the optimist that I am, I am trying to see the silver lining in all this. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? My HCG blood work from yesterday was a 6. No more tests needed as I'm already bleeding. My OB said to expect it to just be a heavier and possibly longer period.

GTKY: What is your favorite way to treat yourself? Massage!! I'm going Friday afternoon for one. I definitely NEED it! 

shamrocandroll

@ruby696 YAY!  I'm not ready to see you go yet.  Do it for me (LOL)

@puppylove8910 Welcome to TTCAL!  This group of ladies is wonderful.  Your loss sounds similar to my second loss, and you are right... it still stings.  Plus my body was like "WTF is happening to me right now!?" which didn't help things any.  I hope your stay here is short. 

puppylove8910

@hanshotfirst77 congratulations on your new home!

@kbrown2385 good luck at your mid cycle scan. Hopefully, you're reacting well to the Clomid.

@ruby696 I'm so sorry for you BFN. It'll be sad to see you leave, but happy to hear you're finding inner peace. It isn't easy. 

@emeraldduchess A visit to the RE is daunting (I've been there), but hopefully, it brings some relief. I know it helped answer questions for us. Good luck! 

puppylove8910

@sorarose I hope your period comes back soon so you can begin TTGP again. Fingers crossed it happens soon! 

@shamrocandroll I'm sorry this has been a tough month! April has not been easy on us either. I keep looking forward to tomorrow. The first day of May. And in my mind a new beginning! I hope the month of May is kinder to you and DH. 

shamrocandroll

@puppylove8910 Sorry, but you just lofted me a perfect softball, and I can't resist using one of my all time favorite memes:

...Yes, I'm that obnoxious friend who posts this every year on April 30. Thank goodness Facebook now reminds me every year on this day. 😂 

puppylove8910

@shamrocandroll THANK YOU for giving me the laugh I needed today!! 

puppylove8910

@shamrocandroll Quick question for you. Did your cycle return to normal right away after your CP? Or did it even out by cycle 2? Thanks!

emeraldduchess

@puppylove8910 I am so sorry that you find yourself here. This is an incredibly supportive group of ladies here.  My loss was also a CP and you are absolutely right, loss hurts no matter when it happens.  
Everyone's post-loss experience is different, but I can tell you that my body was wonky the first cycle after.  It took longer for me to O again (CD25), AF took a while to get going, then took her sweet time leaving. 

@shamrocandroll I definitely posted that meme in my classroom this morning. 🤣

kbrown2385

@shamrocandroll I love that meme! I usually post this about mid month too. It’s my favorite. 

kagesstarshroom

@puppylove8910 My cycle went back to normal after my CP. 

@shamrocandroll In my best Harry Kallas: "That ball is outta heyereeeee!"

This is the most Philly response you'll ever get to a softball reference leading into a  JT meme in your life lol. God I miss football. But also this, which my officemate had to explain to me:

knottieca56542cbd614465

This is my intro post, so it’s a bit of a read...

Hi ladies, this is my first post so I hope everything I say is welcomed. 
On March 15th I went in for my routine dating u/s, and they told us our 9 week old baby had no heart beat. This killed me, I’m sure like anyone who has or will go through this. I had a Missed Miscarriage and had to work on passing my sweet love from my body. The doctor told me we had to do expectant management, and if that didn’t work after a week to try Mistoprostol. Well three days went by and I was losing my mind hoping for the mc to happen, so I went and got the pills. Started them the 18/03/2019 at 9 pm. They started working super fast. Pain around 1-2am, so I took the two extra strength Advil they told me to do. Around 4am I blead and passed so many clots and my BP was significantly low and the pain was unbareable. We called our health link number and they said to go in. I went in to ER around 5am and had a BP of 86/64. Quite low. They took good care of me and the pain, and we eventually passed our sweet love. The hardest saddest thing I have ever gone through. They did another ultrasound and discovered that I still had products so I had to do a second round of the Misto. I assumed it would have been easier since we passed the worst part, but no I was wrong. Went back in after I laboured in the tub for 5 hours and they decided I still had products so I got in for a D and C at 11pm on 22/03/2019. I had some bad cramping for the next couple days, but then it kind of amped up around the third day. ( Almost contraction like again) I decided to go back in again, and after a little big lengthy scan they decided yes I still have products and I needed another D and C. 
Its been a month now, and my cycle has started and I’m starting to feel somewhat “normal” whatever that is. We planned a trip to Vegas in about a week, so it’s something I’m looking forward to. I still have this sad heart breaking feeling though. We’re thinking about trying again, but I want to make sure I’m completely ready to move forward with this loss and perhaps a rainbow. 
We have plans to plant a tree and bury our love, but I feel the need to get it done before we leave. Maybe try and close this chapter? Or at least turn the page? 
This was a long one, so I appreciate anyone who reads it. Thanks for letting me speak, and I hope I’m not hear too long but that we all make it through these terrible times. 

kagesstarshroom

@knottieca56542cbd614465Hi there. I came to this board shortly after a loss as well. Sorry to hear about yours--it sounds like it was very trying, time-consuming ordeal, and must have been a lot to have gone through, physically and emotionally. I too hope your time here is short--in fact, as much as I love all the friends I made here, I am always rooting for them to move on to a BMB!. If you're going to stick around with us, could you please change your name to something easier for us to identify you by rather than the default "knottie"? If you're not sure how to do that, I'm sure someone can weigh in who knows better--or you could google it? We are a very welcoming segment of this board, which in and of itself is extremely supportive, and I have found many friends and so much support here.

puppylove8910

Good to know, thank you @kagesstarshroom

ejoseph16

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: just experienced my first loss. Blighted ovum at 7 weeks, miscarried at 10 weeks after a serious struggle with the doctor  

Status: benched, but WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I just miscarried this past weekend. Going back to work Monday felt good initially (I’m a 3rd grade teacher, so I thought it would keep my mind busy), but today I came home at lunch time an emotional wreck. I went to the bathroom after some cramping and all kinds of miscarriage fun happened. My teammate watched my class. When I got back one of my students told me she thinks my belly hurts because I’m pg. Tears, immediately. I got through the next 30 minutes then went home. We have state testing the next 2 days, so I have to be at work. Then I’m off Friday for a doctor follow up. So hooray for a short week? I’m just thankful for my team. They and my other coworkers have been so amazingly supportive the past week and a half, it has helped me not hate going to work through this. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I go for a follow up US and follow up with my doctor Friday. 

GTKY: What is your favorite way to treat yourself? Bubble baths are a favorite right now. Just a quiet time for myself where I don’t have to take care of anyone else. I pray and relax. It has helped me through this process. 

ejoseph16

@puppylove8910 you are absolutely right with “a loss is a loss”. I had spotting at 9w3d, and they did an US to find measuring at 7w0d and no heartbeat. I knew then. My husband tried so hard to be optimistic, but I knew it wasn’t a good sign. I’m so sorry about your experience. The high of a BFP stings when you experience a loss, no matter when it happens. 

@knottieca56542cbd614465 so much of your experience hit home with me. Mine all happened at home, but I get it completely. The contractions seemed weird to me until I realized what my body was actually going through. 

kbrown2385

@ejoseph16 oh no 😔. My heart sank when I saw you posted. I’m so sorry you are going through this. I’m glad you have supportive people irl to help you through. Lots of hugs your way ❤️

ruby696

@ejoseph16 I am so very sorry for your loss. This is a wonderful group of very supportive women. If you have any questions or just need to vent, don't hesitate to reach out. Sadly, we can all give lots of advice. Sending hugs and hoping the physical aspects if your loss resolve soon.

kagesstarshroom

@ejoseph16 So so sorry to hear about your loss. I'm glad your team has been supportive and able to help you when you needed it in the classroom. I'm very glad you have a short week. Knowing other people have gone through losses has been very helpful to me in my journey, and I hope you find that solace here, especially if you don't have it in your "real" life (in quotation marks because we're real too!)  

emeraldduchess

@ejoseph16 I am so, so sorry for your loss and all that you've had to go through while at work. 💔 My heart hurts for you, it's so hard to put on a brave face for your students and pretend you're ok when you're not. That was one of the worst things, I felt like I was lying to my class when I came back the day after I miscarried.

@knottieca56542cbd614465 welcome. I am so sorry for your loss. This is an amazing and supportive group of ladies. We're here to listen. 

kagesstarshroom

@emeraldduchess Yes to feeling like you lied to ppl bc you don't want to tell them/it's not appropriate to do so re: yr loss. I haven't been able to put that one in words, but that makes so much sense and for me at least has been a lasting sensation. I've been SO behind this semester, and I keep feeling guilty about it, but it's really because I can't articulate what set me behind in the first place, and even when I catch up briefly, it's so hard to dig myself out again and again, and I can't be like "sorry i haven't graded your papers in three weeks, I had an mmc earlier this semester and i've been really depressed." So I probably feel guilty for, like, omitting the truth, while at the same time being unable to really tell them, like, for their own sake. I felt so guilty when I had to cancel class the day before my d&c, which I literally scheduled around my work schedule so I wouldn't miss class--why did I feel guilty? Why? Makes no sense, but I did. And I went back to work the Tuesday following the Fri. of my d&c and had to cram two lessons into one like nothing terrible had happened in my life/to my body/etc. SIGH. I also blame the Puritan work ethic. Darnyou, forefathers. Okay wow this was a long typed revelation!

ejoseph16

@kagesstarshroom I had the same feeling today! I was considering taking half days after state testing, but I feel guilty doing that. Why am I so hesitant to take care of my own mental health? Your rant just hit me in the feels! 

@emeraldduchess literally the moment I realized I was going to miscarry I started lurking on the TTGP threads to see what you all were up to. You all were so helpful in TTGP that I was relieved to know that at least I had you guys to fall back on. ❤️ A little silver lining I suppose. 

kbrown2385

@knottieca56542cbd614465  welcome. I’m so sorry you find yourself here and for your loss. I think planting a tree in honor of your baby is a wonderful idea and I hope it provides some healing for you.