I think brown eyes are underrated. My husband and daughter have blue eyes and I have green eyes, so I'm totally not biased. I think brown eyes, especially big brown eyes, are gorgeous and it always drove me crazy when people would say "Oh I hope your daughter gets your husband's blue eyes." Like wtf, I love my eye color first of all, and second of all, I love brown eyes.
I totally judge my H’s friend’s wife who had a planned c/s for no reason.
She is super controlling and crazy so we already don’t like her and I’m not surprised she wanted to control this too but ah. Not something I would ever have done.
I don't even think this is a UO but I am so over all of the expectations on women. I have been home with the boys for almost two weeks and work plays this whole "we are so understanding of family stuff" but the expectations for me at work and at home are killing me. I finally found a daycare and I cannot wait to get back to work and back in a normal routine.
Although, I will miss my kids like crazy as soon as that happens and wish I enjoyed these two weeks more. Being a mom a so fucked. In the best possible way. But when they say it's hard, you don't realize HOW hard it is. Also, I am super thrilled to spend $800 a week on daycare now. I am sooo done having kids after this baby girl comes.
I don't understand the appeal of dressing your kids in identical outfits for holidays. For Easter most of my friends, especially girl moms, were posting pictures of their kids in the exact same dress. I can get on board with coordinating, but not identical.
11/2010 Diagnosed with PCOS
10/31/11 M/C at 9 weeks 1/12/13 DD was born 4/9/16 DS was born 9/17 CP 6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19
@mkrel RIGHT? Why do people covet blue eyes? A friend of mine was really disappointed that her first two kids had GORGEOUS hazel and bright brown eyes. The mother has the most beautiful bright brown eyes. Her third has blue eyes at 4 months and everyone is so in awe of how pretty her eyes are. They are pretty but I think her other kids have wonderfully colored eyes as well. My child will most likely have blue eyes but I won't be upset if he doesn't.
I can't stand that song "High Hopes" by Panic at the Disco. It's on the radio every. single. time. I'm in my car. I have no reason to hate the song, I just really hate it.
@Allycat11 I generally don't prefer identical outfits but DD1 LOVES to wear the same thing as DD2... so we do it on occasion mostly to humor her... also i'm glad my twins are B/G so people don't feel the need for them to wear the same thing...
@lilmamabebe3 I feel you. its hard to balance work and family. I have had so many people ask if I'm going to stop working when this one comes.... um nope. I love what I do, worked my ass off to get here and am the bread winner...
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
@lilmamabebe3 I don’t know how you are still sain. I had to do a few hours of work at home a few Saturdays ago and my husband was out of town. The kids could not get along to save their lives. It was awful. I quickly remembered why I did all my grad school work after they went to bed!
@mkrel - Thank goodness for people like you! My sister and I are have brown doe-eyes and have always hated them, wanting blue. Hers are actually more of a warm, golden color (think J.Lo) and mine have lightened with age (they used to be nearly black) and are closer to Rose Byrne's. She has two daughters, one with blue eyes and one with green. My DD1 has blue eyes with gold around the pupil (similar to my mom) - excited to see what DD2's eyes will look like. My husband has a DEFINITE type: brown hair and eyes and that is me to a T!
@lilmamabebe3 - I've been saying a little prayer for you when I remember to find a place and to save your sanity ... I know it's got to be rough! Thankful you can see the light at the end of the tunnel
**History in Spoiler**
Me-35, DH-36 - TTC since 08/10 Me - anovulatory, non-Insulin PCOS, DH - low end of "normal" sperm count IUI#1 - 02/15 - Cancelled due to scrubbed sperm count <1MM IVF#1 - 08/15 - 13x5-day blastocysts (ranging from AA-BB, most are 5 or 6), not PGS, on ice FET#1 - 10/15 - 1 emb - BFP (DD 07/16) (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium) FET#2 - 07/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium) FET#3 - 08/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium) FET#4 - 10/17 - 2 emb - BFN (changed to estrace + prometrium because of allergic reaction to PIO sesame oil) ERA Testing - 12/17 - window moved (-1 day) FET#5 - 03/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used) Karyotype Testing - 04/18 - Negative (we're ok) FET#6 - 06/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used) FET#7 - 10/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used) FET#8 - 11/18 - 2 emb - BFP; looks like one baby is going to make it, DD is due 8/16 (though likely to be 8/9)
Re: Eye color. I so agree, green hazel and brown are sooo underrated. I love my hazel eyes, and that they look more green depending on what I wear. And I love my husbands eyes. Also hazel but sooo different than mine-and gorgeous! I had a dream that Baby Bee has her daddy’s eyes so we shall see. Also...I can’t imagine being ‘disappointed’ with eye color. Same as how I can’t believe people get disappointed over gender-maybe that’s my UO. It just kind of gets under my skin when people act like or say they are disappointed/mad because they wanted a boy/girl.
My other UO is that I’m so not into all the super girly stuff. I never was or have been my whole life so things are pretty neutral when it comes to baby clothes and decor-very little pink. I have family that loves all the sparkles and frills and I can pretty much guarantee that those things will go unworn and unused....my god I’m screwed if this little girl is my opposite!
@Allycat11 a good friend of mine dresses her boys in matching clothing because that way they don't get jealous of what the other brother has because they also have one just like it. Its a survival tactic.
Thank you guys so much!! I put a deposit on a daycare today. I loved it yesterday and still wanted to tour another place and my husband was like why are you torturing yourself? We both love it, it checks all the boxes.
So I canceled the final tour and paid the money. It has been a long two weeks. DH and I split it as much as possible but he’s banking as much PTO as possible for this baby and can’t really work from home whereas I can. So it’s mostly been me because that’s whats best in the long run. He’s covered two out of the ten days. And I’m not complaining about him—he is a fantastic partner and I don’t usually feel like I pull more of a weight but lately I have because of being home.
@wabash15 yes!! I have two degrees and an MBA. I am good at my job and I really like it. Do I wish I maybe had Fridays off to give me more time? Sure but I am the primary income of our family and I enjoy my work life. I can be a mom and an employee. It’s not easy and I can’t “have it all” at least not at the same time, but most of the time I juggle it pretty well (and no one ever asks my husband those questions).
@sourlemon oh god!! I guess if she’s enthusiastic about it I won’t be able to help but support it but, I do selfishly hope she’s got at least a little of the tomboy spirit in her!
@peachy0709 another matchy mama here, my two boys wear matching outfits, not every day, but for special occasions, and sometimes for synagogue. Also, occasionally pajamas, but that's because their grandma bought them. And even then it's only when they insist on it, or the nanny gets them in PJs.
@emqbee - I completely agree with both of your UOs: to me, gender is irrelevant and princess-y shit can sit-on-it-and-spin. That being said, DD1 is *obsessed* with ALL things pink, sparkly, frilly, and feminine. At first, I tried to steer her away, but it is who she is (she also LOVES digging in dirt, playing with bugs, knows ALL the dinosaurs, and is pretty handy with a drill) ... and it would be wrong of me to discourage that. I've learned ways to direct the conversation around these things (see: "yes! princesses are amazing ... and they must be smart and kind to rule effectively over their subjects") and that helps make me less anxious when I see her make a beeline to the newest, pinkest toy. Again, my hang-up that I don't want to pass onto her. But I am the opposite of girly, frilly, or sparkly. I was momentarily upset when I found out we were having another girl, but only because I was thinking of DH and wanting to pass on "the family name." I'm 100% excited about seeing what this little one will be like and if she'll be the same or more like I was/am, growing up.
**History in Spoiler**
Me-35, DH-36 - TTC since 08/10 Me - anovulatory, non-Insulin PCOS, DH - low end of "normal" sperm count IUI#1 - 02/15 - Cancelled due to scrubbed sperm count <1MM IVF#1 - 08/15 - 13x5-day blastocysts (ranging from AA-BB, most are 5 or 6), not PGS, on ice FET#1 - 10/15 - 1 emb - BFP (DD 07/16) (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium) FET#2 - 07/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium) FET#3 - 08/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium) FET#4 - 10/17 - 2 emb - BFN (changed to estrace + prometrium because of allergic reaction to PIO sesame oil) ERA Testing - 12/17 - window moved (-1 day) FET#5 - 03/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used) Karyotype Testing - 04/18 - Negative (we're ok) FET#6 - 06/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used) FET#7 - 10/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used) FET#8 - 11/18 - 2 emb - BFP; looks like one baby is going to make it, DD is due 8/16 (though likely to be 8/9)
I mean, for what it's worth, @MamaK225 and @emqbee, DD1 LOVES all things princesses but I think the princess culture has come a LONG way. When we went to Disney on Ice, she chose a light up sword as her item. Some well-meaning (I choose to believe) Grandpa made some comment about "Oh wow, a princess with a sword! You don't see that every day!" and my child, who I think was newly four at the time, look at him square in the eye and goes, "Mulan has a sword. Mereda has a sword. Elena has a sword." Basically, ladies can do stuff now! No, but in reality, the Disney princess genre has really expanded what a "princess" is to these girls and so I indulge it. DH also sits on DD1's royal counsel to help make decisions about her people
@peachy0709 I love everything about what you said. And if we’re embracing princesses like Mulan, I am SO in! She’s one of my favorites! I guess for me it’s more of a hope that she’s not grossed out by dirt. My husband and I are both outdoorsy people and don’t mind getting dirty, fishing, horseback riding etc. I actually love to much stalls. My sister is my opposite and doesn’t like to get dirty or bait a hook etc., so my hope is that she’s totally down with playing outside as much as I did as a kid. If we’re embracing badass princesses that stand up for themselves, are tough, don’t take crap off anyone AND can rock a sparkly dress? Yeah, that’ll work! I guess I just hope for a healthy balance. She will be who she wants and that part is just kind of mind boggling to me...the part where I don’t know her yet. But it’s going to be so flipping cool to see how she turns out. I know she’s going to be amazing!
For the gender stereotype Convo...I intend to expose my kids to all sorts of toys and experiences. They can choose what they enjoy. If my future daughters want to dress in princess costumes all the time (like my neice insists on) then so be it. If she wants to build things and pretend she is a construction worker or an astronaut or a race car driver, then so be it. We intend to have dolls and Lego and toy cars and a kitchen set....and any of our kids can play with any of the toys, with no pressure /judgement from us.
Again though...FTM so who knows how the plan will actually turn out 😂. At least we have LOTs of support with this method. Both sets of grandparents have the same mindset.
My BIL and SIL have a boy and girl. They never put any pressure on the kids to choose "gender appropriate" toys or clothes. But the girl gravitated to princesses and all things pink, and the boy is all about Lego, planes, cars and building things (especially traps/prisons /forts for his little sister😂)
I'm trying to remember how I was as a kid. My parents never pressured us either. But mostly I just wanted to be "cool" like my big brother and do whatever he did. I do remember hating barbies...they just seemed so....boring. Lego or playing outside > barbies any day
@emqbee DD1 is a very girly girl and LOVES dresses/skirts/the more sparkle the better and princesses, she will also come home completely covered in mud, put on her pink sparkly light up rain boots and jump in puddles. we did a milestone evaluation on her at one point and they asked her to feed a baby doll with a bottle... she looked at them like she had no idea... which she did since at that point we did not have a baby doll in the house (yay for trains/trucks and blocks) and I'm not sure she had ever seen a baby get a bottle. Now both she and her brother have baby dolls that they love, wear, feed and sooth. and DS went through a dress phase... if his sister was wearing a dress he wanted to also...
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
@chillycanadian - I like your approach. I was a Women's Studies major so I swore up and down that nothing would be pink for DD1, and I don't know what came over me, but once we had the A/S and it was confirmed, everything in our nursery became pink overnight. Life's funny.
I’m still trying to figure out DD. This is the first season I’m making a bit of effort to find her clothes I think she will enjoy - before I just put her in what I liked. She hasn’t shown interest in any princess stuff and isn’t big into dolls, but loves playing with and watching stuff about trains. She seems good with dresses, but is happy running around in jeans and a t-shirt too. She really liked an alphabet t-shirt I got her, which was cute...the kid loves her letters and numbers. It’s been funny now that we’ve potty trained to see what kind of panties she likes...turns out she prefers anything with patterns (stripes, dots), shapes (like hearts) or animals (mainly dogs / cats), and could care less about the ones with unicorns. So on one hand she doesn’t seem super-girly, but then...she has a MAJOR shoe obsession. After “Dada” and “Mama” her first word was “shoes” and we recently had a meltdown in Target b/c I wouldn’t let her have ALLLL the shoes. It’s pretty funny. And the shoe obsession is definitely not being passed along from me!
@aecm OMG the shoes. My girls are completely obsessed and I'm a horrible mom for buying them so many. Each kid has at least 20 pairs (but most of DD2's are hand me downs from DD1). But they actually do wear them. And it makes them so happy. I wont even mention how many shirts and dresses they each have..........we're terrible!
@aecm and @sourlemon I swear DD1 is amelda marcos... she has so many damn shoes and loves to wear different pairs throughout the day. I think DD2 will follow in her "shoes" as her first work after mama and dada was shoes.
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
lilmamabebe3
member
Re: UO Thursday
I totally judge my H’s friend’s wife who had a planned c/s for no reason.
She is super controlling and crazy so we already don’t like her and I’m not surprised she wanted to control this too but ah. Not something I would ever have done.
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
Although, I will miss my kids like crazy as soon as that happens and wish I enjoyed these two weeks more. Being a mom a so fucked. In the best possible way. But when they say it's hard, you don't realize HOW hard it is. Also, I am super thrilled to spend $800 a week on daycare now. I am sooo done having kids after this baby girl comes.
1/12/13 DD was born
4/9/16 DS was born
9/17 CP
6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19
@lilmamabebe3 I feel you. its hard to balance work and family. I have had so many people ask if I'm going to stop working when this one comes.... um nope. I love what I do, worked my ass off to get here and am the bread winner...
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
@lilmamabebe3 - I've been saying a little prayer for you when I remember to find a place and to save your sanity ... I know it's got to be rough! Thankful you can see the light at the end of the tunnel
Me - anovulatory, non-Insulin PCOS, DH - low end of "normal" sperm count
IUI#1 - 02/15 - Cancelled due to scrubbed sperm count <1MM
IVF#1 - 08/15 - 13x5-day blastocysts (ranging from AA-BB, most are 5 or 6), not PGS, on ice
FET#1 - 10/15 - 1 emb - BFP (DD 07/16) (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
FET#2 - 07/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
FET#3 - 08/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
FET#4 - 10/17 - 2 emb - BFN (changed to estrace + prometrium because of allergic reaction to PIO sesame oil)
ERA Testing - 12/17 - window moved (-1 day)
FET#5 - 03/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
Karyotype Testing - 04/18 - Negative (we're ok)
FET#6 - 06/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
FET#7 - 10/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
FET#8 - 11/18 - 2 emb - BFP; looks like one baby is going to make it, DD is due 8/16 (though likely to be 8/9)
My other UO is that I’m so not into all the super girly stuff. I never was or have been my whole life so things are pretty neutral when it comes to baby clothes and decor-very little pink. I have family that loves all the sparkles and frills and I can pretty much guarantee that those things will go unworn and unused....my god I’m screwed if this little girl is my opposite!
So I canceled the final tour and paid the money. It has been a long two weeks. DH and I split it as much as possible but he’s banking as much PTO as possible for this baby and can’t really work from home whereas I can. So it’s mostly been me because that’s whats best in the long run. He’s covered two out of the ten days. And I’m not complaining about him—he is a fantastic partner and I don’t usually feel like I pull more of a weight but lately I have because of being home.
@wabash15 yes!! I have two degrees and an MBA. I am good at my job and I really like it. Do I wish I maybe had Fridays off to give me more time? Sure but I am the primary income of our family and I enjoy my work life. I can be a mom and an employee. It’s not easy and I can’t “have it all” at least not at the same time, but most of the time I juggle it pretty well (and no one ever asks my husband those questions).
Also, occasionally pajamas, but that's because their grandma bought them. And even then it's only when they insist on it, or the nanny gets them in PJs.
Me - anovulatory, non-Insulin PCOS, DH - low end of "normal" sperm count
IUI#1 - 02/15 - Cancelled due to scrubbed sperm count <1MM
IVF#1 - 08/15 - 13x5-day blastocysts (ranging from AA-BB, most are 5 or 6), not PGS, on ice
FET#1 - 10/15 - 1 emb - BFP (DD 07/16) (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
FET#2 - 07/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
FET#3 - 08/17 - 1 emb - BFN (estrace + PIO sesame oil + prometrium)
FET#4 - 10/17 - 2 emb - BFN (changed to estrace + prometrium because of allergic reaction to PIO sesame oil)
ERA Testing - 12/17 - window moved (-1 day)
FET#5 - 03/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
Karyotype Testing - 04/18 - Negative (we're ok)
FET#6 - 06/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
FET#7 - 10/18 - 2 emb - BFN (estrace + prometrium, ERA-timing used)
FET#8 - 11/18 - 2 emb - BFP; looks like one baby is going to make it, DD is due 8/16 (though likely to be 8/9)
Again though...FTM so who knows how the plan will actually turn out 😂. At least we have LOTs of support with this method. Both sets of grandparents have the same mindset.
My BIL and SIL have a boy and girl. They never put any pressure on the kids to choose "gender appropriate" toys or clothes. But the girl gravitated to princesses and all things pink, and the boy is all about Lego, planes, cars and building things (especially traps/prisons /forts for his little sister😂)
I'm trying to remember how I was as a kid. My parents never pressured us either. But mostly I just wanted to be "cool" like my big brother and do whatever he did.
I do remember hating barbies...they just seemed so....boring. Lego or playing outside > barbies any day
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17