Amoung a million things I’ve worried about when it comes to starting a family this one recently has become my biggest sticking point.
I have always, always wanted kids. We’ve been married five years this August and had somewhat of a “five year plan” before having children due to living in a rental home situation through my in-laws and me being in graduate school. An important note to point out is that the rental situation was AWFUL and caused a lot of issues between my husband and myself as well as with them between the lack of boundaries and overstepping, basically they felt they could chime in on anything and had say in our decisions/finances ect. We built our first home last year which my father in law was against and have finally settled in.
I actually was pregnant and miscarried early on in January. My husband is the oldest and first grandchild on both sides of his family, recently his aunt announced her unmarried son is having the first “great grandchild” in the family (the same month I was due) which has my mother in law clearly feeling some sort of way about it. Most recently she cornered me asking me “what happened” and yelled at me that I basically shouldn’t even have waited to try again and to just get over it and “do it”.
I don’t know if old teenage rebellion doesn’t die easily for me or if it’s a combination of that and the general having I split holidays fight with Easter coming up (they expect my husband should have to eat every holiday meal with them and never want us to see my side or it’s a giant week long fight and lots of guilt). However, my point is my biggest reason for not wanting a baby at times, and my biggest issue moving forward, is my husband’s family.
I feel very angry and resentful. Whenever they nag I get so angry I don’t want to ever kids just out of spite towards them. I feel like this is absolutely crazy but we’re at the point we had planned on trying again and this feeling hasn’t faded. Help?
Re: My In Laws Make Me Not Want a Baby....
TTC #1 since 7.2017
Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3 | all BFN
IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20
Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies
BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX to maintain pregnancy
DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins in 2023
Consultation with RI | TBD
This board doesn't allow for one-off posts, meaning that we don’t start our own posts that only relate to us. Individual posts clutter the board; we like to keep it very organized so we can support each other better. Your post could go in the Chart Stalk/Questions thread if you have questions about how to deal with your situation. Many people will see it & give you advice. Or you can post it in the Randoms thread. I know your situation doesn’t feel random, but we don’t have one dedicated to relationships or family dynamics since the main focus here is Trying To Get Pregnant. Feel free to introduce yourself in the weekly Newbie thread. People will welcome you & be glad to get to know you & your unique situation.
You can’t delete posts completely so if you do decide to post this in one of those other threads you might just update this one by editing it & stating you moved it or something. Last, I’d just encourage you that if you want your own children & you’re blessed to have them, you’re doing better than many women on this board who have been trying for a long time. This board asks for lots of sensitivity to that point. If you truly desire a child, go with your heart & know that you will likely find ultimate happiness with your own family unit instead of being harassed by your husband’s meddling mother. Good luck!