Trying to Get Pregnant

My In Laws Make Me Not Want a Baby....

Amoung a million things I’ve worried about when it comes to starting a family this one recently has become my biggest sticking point.

I have always, always wanted kids. We’ve been married five years this August and had somewhat of a “five year plan” before having children due to living in a rental home situation through my in-laws and me being in graduate school. An important note to point out is that the rental situation was AWFUL and caused a lot of issues between my husband and myself as well as with them between the lack of boundaries and overstepping, basically they felt they could chime in on anything and had say in our decisions/finances ect. We built our first home last year which my father in law was against and have finally settled in.

I actually was pregnant and miscarried early on in January. My husband is the oldest and first grandchild on both sides of his family, recently his aunt announced her unmarried son is having the first “great grandchild” in the family (the same month I was due) which has my mother in law clearly feeling some sort of way about it. Most recently she cornered me asking me “what happened” and yelled at me that I basically shouldn’t even have waited to try again and to just get over it and “do it”.

I don’t know if old teenage rebellion doesn’t die easily for me or if it’s a combination of that and the general having I split holidays fight with Easter coming up (they expect my husband should have to eat every holiday meal with them and never want us to see my side or it’s a giant week long fight and lots of guilt). However, my point is my biggest reason for not wanting a baby at times, and my biggest issue moving forward, is my husband’s family.

I feel very angry and resentful. Whenever they nag I get so angry I don’t want to ever kids just out of spite towards them. I feel like this is absolutely crazy but we’re at the point we had planned on trying again and this feeling hasn’t faded. Help?

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