Coping with loss...

floradelaluna

Today is the much anticipated last day of my first trimester. We’d hoped and prayed for the best and so far so good. Blood tests are normal, Nuchal translucency normal, for the most part mild symptoms... we thought that at this stage we’d be bursting with joy. Last week, our most beloved and precious dog, Lulu, got sick. The vet misdiagnosed it as pneumonia. On Sunday after 7 hours in the ER, she was admitted to the ICU of a local animal hospital. We had to take out a huge loan with a 26% interest rate to cover the costs of medical care. And, each day, her condition worsens. She’s being kept in an oxygen chamber and cannot breathe on her own. The doctors have ruled out many diseases such as cancer, fungal infection, parasites, heart problem and it’s definitely not bacterial or viral pneumonia. It’s a mystery respiratory disease that doesn’t respond to medicine and it’s progressing very rapidly. See? This is all I can think of talk about. The guilt of not being “happy enough” over my pregnancy coupled with the pain of potentially losing my truest best friend in the world is wreaking havoc on me. I cannot eat or sleep well and I am crying all the time. Does anyone have any words of wisdom? Thank you for listening. 

BBaires

I am so sorry. Unfortunately I don’t have any great or healing wisdom to share but it is absolutely ok and understandable to have complex emotions and feel devastated by what’s happening even while you’re relieved that the baby is doing well. One does not negate the other. 
Give yourself some space and grace to feel for your sweet dog and try to shut that mom guilt down. 
Lots of hugs to you, I hope they figure out what’s going on and are able to treat it ❤️

jenferlee82

This breaks my heart for you. Our pets are family members and I know how difficult the loss of one can be. I'm hoping your vets can figure out what's going on with your pup but if not, you should not feel at all guilty about grieving for her just because you are pregnant. I've found that the best thing to do in this kind of situation is simply let myself grieve. The loss is real and deserves that kind of emotion from you. It doesn't in any way negate your long-term feelings about your baby, so please don't beat yourself up over that at all!

trapperkeeper87

My heart aches for you. Losing a pet is truly one of the most difficult things a pet owner will ever go through. They leave footprints in our homes and in our hearts, and while they're only physically with us for a fraction of our lives, those footprints never fade.

Feel your grief and don't listen to anyone who tells you that you shouldn't. Cry openly and freely and focus on what your heart wants you to focus on. If that's your beloved pup or your baby or something else, that's okay. Grief is a bundle of mystery and should never be denied.

You're hurting right now because you feel guilty about your feelings; please go easy on yourself. There is absolutely no rulebook or timeline on any feelings, and we all feel our emotions uniquely. Nothing is wrong with how you're feeling right now; just let the purity of the moment stay present.

Every storm eventually passes, but the destruction it leaves behind remains for a long time. This is just another storm, another chapter, and one day you'll move forward - not on - and continue your story. After all, a story doesn't change just because we lose a main character; it simply continues with the the impact of that character remaining ever present.

💛