BTDT Mom Check in! — The Bump
November 2019 Moms

BTDT Mom Check in!

Thought it would be fun to check in with moms who've done this before! How many kids do you have? What are you looking forward or not looking forward to this time around? Were you on your BMB for the previous babies?
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Re: BTDT Mom Check in!

  • I've got 2 girls and I was part of both their BMBs, Sept 2011 and Jan 2015. My Jan15 group split off over to FB and I hang out there a lot now, but I don't interact with anyone from the Sep11 group. I really love having the support early on here before telling a lot of friends, and plus you are all going through the same stuff so it's fun to commiserate over it all.

    I'm most looking forward to when I get those first baby kicks, and that moment when big sisters get to see their little sibling. <3 Most everything else about pregnancy kinda sucks, lol.
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  • I have a 6 year old son and was part of July 2012 BMB.  I made tons of friends from that group and still interact with them daily and our FB group is still going strong. 

    I'm looking forward to our first ultrasound and being able to see/hear the baby. I'm looking forward to watching my son interact with his new brother/ sister and am also nervous about going from 1 kid to 2 and how he'll adjust . 
  • ChelK3ChelK3 member
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    Hi ladies!
    This will be my third child, I have a 5 year old and a 15 month old. I was a part of the April 2014 board and December 2017 board. I really wasn't very active on either. I read posts daily but rarely ever added anything myself. I always tell myself I'm going to be more active this time around, but anxiety gets the best of me I guess. I'm looking forward to getting past morning sickness and feeling baby kicks. Not looking forward to SPD, telling work I'm pregnant again, and heartburn! 
  • I have a two year old son, and I was very briefly active on March17 (under a different sn) with him but pretty much quit posting before second tri. I hope to continue to be active on this board. I only have a couple friends with kids and no one else (that I know of) is pregnant right now so I like the community and to give/get support. 

    @kimmer1412 Im also nervous for my son to adjust to a sibling, and for me to adjust as well! He’s a pretty big mommas boy. I’m trying to teach him he can’t have mommas attention all the time but it’s a bit tough. I’m not looking forward to heartburn either @ChelK3, or dealing with my telling my work. I’m of course looking forward to kicks and maybe a magical burst of second tri energy. 
  • lea-v3lea-v3 member
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    I have 2 children. DS is 6 and DD is 3. I am worried about going from 2 to 3 children. Some people tell me it's easier than 1 to 2 and some tell me the opposite. This will definitely be the last baby, so I'm really looking forward to the whole pregnancy - the little movements and even the anxious waiting to find out what little person is hiding in there. I was in and out of the BMB with my son in 2012 and daughter in 2015. The boards kind of fell apart in 2015. It was drama city.
  • @ChelK3 ; SPD. It already gives me nightmares thinking about it. I'm really concerned it's going to start even earlier this time. So debilitating!!!
  • I was here with my 2 last pregnancies (under a different name).  I was in the March14 for my son and July16 for my daughter, which I wasn't apart of it for too long with my daughter.
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  • @lea-v3 I was around for when the boards fell apart, too! So many rules and people upset and banned and wow was it a mess! I was hoping everything was chill when I came back for this board. Seems calmer than it used to be, but maybe that's okay.
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  • I have 2 kids (Nov. 13 & Aug. 16)
    Our BMB for both moved over to FB and I am very active with my Nov 13 mamas and some of the local ones have become great friends. I tried to be active in my Aug. 16 group but just never was. Hopefully I can with this one and makes some new friends :)
    I am looking forward to everything since this will be our last. I can’t wait to see my 2.5 year old with his new sibling.
  • Hey, BTDT Mamas! I have a three year old daughter (Sep 15) and a 15 month old son (Dec 17 but I was in the J18 group). I was not active with DD but LOVE my bump group from J18. We went to facebook and I love it. They are people I consider actual friends now haha. Like @ameliabird811 I really am going to savor this pregnancy and birth because it is out last. I hope I don't get carpel tunnel like I did with my first. Once I see that baby on an ultrasound in a few weeks, I am ALL IN. Bring it on! Oh, I guess I'm not SUPER excited for contractions lol. Those hurt!!!

    @lea-v3 I feel you on worrying about going from 2-3. My concerns are practical—like I only have two hands and how much time will it take to get ready etc. I look forward to the challenge but worry also!!!

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  • @christalfung I was apart of the March 14 bmb. That BMB was like the wild wild west! I got flamed a few good times. 😂 
  • christalfungchristalfung member
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    edited April 3
    @emeraldcity1214 really :D  and omg the things happening on our group.  I kinda flew under the radar and wasn't part of any major drama (always there to read what happened ;) ).
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  • Hey everyone! I have a 2.5 yo DD and was part of Nov '16 BMB until we moved over to a private group and then FB. 3 years later I still talk with some of those ladies daily. I was also part of May '18 *TW* our son was delivered stillborn at 23w, end *TW*. Looking forward to sharing this experience with all of you!

  • @christalfung did you move to the FB group? I am in the FB group that spit from the main group. We are all still in touch. I regularly talk to 2 of the ladies from our group. 
  • christalfungchristalfung member
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    edited April 3
    @emeraldcity1214 I am in the Facebook group :) I haven't posted anything in a while (feel bad), but occasionally comment on a few things.
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  • I was a part of the July 2014 and June 2016 Bump groups. I really enjoy sharing the joys and miseries of pregnancy with people who get it. I’m nervous about being outnumbered with our third but I’m really excited to see our youngest become a big brother. 
  • ABabyMarshallABabyMarshall member
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    edited April 7
    Hey @musicgal05! I was in the Sept 2011 group too! Not sure if I remember you,but I really wasn't that active myself. Best wishes to you!!
    I have a 7, almost 8 year old son and I am so worried about the adjustment and how it's going to shake things up. Definitely worried about expecting too much out of my first baby in terms of helping me or being more independent. We're also living in a pretty tight 2 bdrm apartment and it's going to be a heck of a squeeze. Crib will probably have to be in living room 🙃 not ideal but I'm trying to not dwell of the tough stuff. The group is helping me get excited, which has been a struggle since we found out. 
  • @ABabyMarshall I wasn't really very active in that group either, just scared being a ftm and needing support! It's amazing how the oldest kids switches into big sibling mode once baby is here. Plus sibling photos are just the cutest! Definitely a time of transition, but so worth it.
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  • alm52386alm52386 member
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    I have 1 daughter and was part of June 17! We are on FB now and I chat with some of the girls daily.
    I’m worried how my daughter will do with sharing our attention. She will be almost 2.5 when this baby is born.
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  • I have a 3yo boy and twin 2yo girls. In between, we had a miscarriage, so this is my fourth pregnancy. We are believing for a boy to give our son a brother to wrestle with (although his sisters are pretty good at holding their own). I have never been apart of a BMB before and would love to develop some friendships this time around. I'm really looking forward to having another itty bitty baby in my arms. They are so wonderful to snuggle.
  • I have a 6 year old son. I was part of the march2013 BMB which moved over to Facebook. I’m looking forward to having a supportive partner this time around and getting to hold my sweet blessing. 
  • I have a 3 year old son and a 2 year old daughter. I was part of a BMB with my son and it eventually evolved into a Facebook group. Those women are some of my closest friends. My daughter was so close in age that I never bothered with a BMB for her.

    I am looking forward to being able to meet my baby. The feeling of holding my babies for the first time is truly the best thing in the world. I’m also so nervous about being able to manage all 3 and about my back holding up through this pregnancy (2 previous back surgeries and major issues during my daughter’s pregnancy). 
  • lea-v3lea-v3 member
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    @JennaLee1486 I have diastasis recti (splitting of stomach muscles) from my first pregnancy and ot got out of control with my second. The last month I would get back spasms so bad, I'd shake from pain. I'm really dreading that this time around as well. I did some OT for the diastasis and was considering the surgery before we found out about baby #3. I'm hoping maybe a good belly support band will help? Good luck to you! Hope this pregnancy is smooth sailing :)
  • I have diastasis recti too. I worked on it a bit with a PT while recovering from back surgery (while I had a 6 mo and 18 mo). We had decided no more kids because of what I went through. But I guess someone else had a different plan and here we are!
  • @JennaLee1486 You'll be able to handle 3. I have 3 kiddos very close in age and though it was tough at times, we made it through. Eventually you'll find a rhythm and you won't be able to image life any other way.
  • I was a part of the December 16 group with my daughter (she came early in November), and we moved over to a FB group after all the babes were here. We still have a daily random thread as a group, and it’s full of awesome ladies. I also have two stepdaughters who I met when they were 6&11 (they’re 19&23 now), so this newborn-kindergarten phase was missing before my daughter arrived. 

    Honestly, what I’m most worried about is the fact that my husband and I work opposite schedules, so I’m solo coverage for bedtime every night and I’m not sure how I’m going to handle all of the daily tasks with a newborn and a toddler. Oh, and since this pregnancy wasn’t exactly planned, our timing for finding a new house and moving has officially moved up to this summer 🤪 I’m sure it will all work out just fine, but it may be a battle getting there. 
  • @KateH1216 I have a similar issue, MH works overnights 4 days a week and so I am on my own for bedtime for those night as well as getting my toddler up, fed, dressed, and to daycare by myself every morning. I'm nervous and I know I need to make some changes to help me handle it, like making sure I do more prep work at night when I can and doing some freezer meals or easy prep over the weekend or something. I'm sure we'll get into a groove with it, but I do think it'll be tough at the beginning!
  • I have 2 little girls.  I would call them darling but they are clingy right now, which I am sure is due to me not bein fully present while I am battling these 1st trimester symptoms. They are August 2015 and July 2017.  I was a part of my BMB but only very little.  This is the most I have been active for all my pregnancies.  I was the most active in those groups the last few weeks checking labor symptoms since I was the newbie that time around.

    Looking forward to being out of the 1st trimester but not looking forward to getting...larger.  I had just started working out last July and lost 15lbs and go back so soon was not in my plans but this is the last one (as long as it runs smoothly) so after that I can battle my body again.

    Here is my follow up Question for Everyone in this board.  Rank the trimesters and Labor from Best to Worst. (1st trimester, 2nd trimester, 3rd trimester, labor and 4th trimester) 

    Mine from Best to Worst is:
    1) Labor
    2) 2nd Trimester
    3) 3rd Trimester
    4) 4th Trimester (aka first 3 months - fog of newborn)
    5) 1st Trimester
  • @Dancer688 That's a fun idea and welcome to the board of fun and excitement! lol... Okay, best is first...
    1) 4th Trimester (I got lucky with pretty chill babies)
    2) Labor (also lucky with both inductions going smoothly)
    3) 2nd Trimester
    4) 3rd Trimester
    5) 1st Trimester
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  • lea-v3lea-v3 member
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    I'll play - 
    Best to worst:
    1) Labor, because I won't have it  :D This will be Csection #3 and will most likely occur around 38 weeks to avoid my going into labor.
    2) 2nd Trimester 
    3)1st Trimester - nausea and tiredness suck, but my back pain at the end is unreal, so this beats that!
    4) 3rd Trimester 
    5) 4th Trimester - csection recovery is no picnic and definitely my most dreaded part of pregnancy. With baby #1, they cracked one of my ribs trying to push him down so they could get him out.  :s 
  • Hi all 

    I am new to the board but not to the Bump.  I was on the August '16 board when pregnant with my son. That group of ladies migrated to Facebook and I still talk with them daily. They are a remarkable group of women.  

    I am excited for this pregnancy but nervous due to history of loss.  I am excited to feel the baby move, that us my favorite part of pregnancy!

    I would rank those listed elements best to worst-
    4th trimester - it is hard but nothing beats having baby earth side

    3rd trimester - for the reassuring kicks and despite the exhaustion

    Labor - my last was hard. I was induced and likely will be again due to AMA. I had pitocin induced labor for over 20hours and then an epidural and C-section. I didn't react well to the epidural meds associated with the c-section. So,while I love that labor means meeting baby, I am apprehensive.  I am hopeful for a VBAC but we will see how big this kiddo's noggin gets. 

    2nd and 1st trimester are a wash. The symptoms first trimester are hard but the 2nd trimester abatement of symptoms plays merry-hell with my PGAL brain.
  • Sure, I'll play along.  

    1) Labor (I had the epidural with my son, and even if I was practically natural with my 2nd, I still had a good labor and birth).
    2) 2nd Trimester
    3) 3rd Trimester (I wouldn't say it was the worst part of my pregnancy or the best.  Sure I loved seeing LO move around, but being uncomfortable when sleeping and with my 2nd pregnancy, having a toddler around when all I wanted to do was sleep... Yeah.)
    4) 1st Trimester (I had a hard time being around the kitchen if anyone was cooking RED meat, and with my SO it was basically everyday.)
    5) 4th Trimester.  My son was tongue tied and trying to breastfeed for the first time was horrible.  I ended up with scars and it was traumatizing for me.  Luckily, I was able to breastfeed my daughter with no problem.
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  • Mine from Best to Worst is:
    1) Labor: I had a really fast, unmedicated vaginal delivery.  I'm hoping for that again, but who knows.
    2) 2nd Trimester: I really didn't have any issues.  My SPD didn't start until 3rd tri and I wasn't really feeling any other aches and pains. I was feeling the movement from 14 weeks on so that was always very reassuring too.
    3) 4th Trimester (aka first 3 months - fog of newborn): This is a hard one for me. I was so happy to have my son earth side, but he was a really difficult newborn and hated to sleep. In retrospect, I'm almost glad I had a difficult newborn the first time around because I feel a lot more prepared this time.  It's hard as a FTM to have a colicky baby with purple crying and not wonder, "what's wrong? Why can't I make him feel better?"  I think I know better now and feel more ready to handle a difficult newborn.  Of course, I'm hoping for an "easy" baby that loves to sleep :) but if not, I know it will pass!
    4) 1st Trimester: actual 1st trimester symptoms have always been OK for me and I've never suffered from bad MS. But from an anxiety standpoint, the 1st trimester has been a complete MF due to infertility/previous losses.
    5) 3rd Trimester: my SPD made this almost unbearable for me from about weeks 28-34 or so. I couldn't even put on pants without almost crying from the pain. And, I have a super high pain threshold, so this is saying a lot. I'm nervous it will start earlier with this pregnancy and I'm not sure how I'm going to handle that with a toddler and working full time. I am seriously hoping I get lucky and don't have it again. Also, I had a short cervix with my last pregnancy and the anxiety of pre-term labor really messed with me the entire time and made me on edge and celebrating every week milestone getting closer to full-term.  Praying for a long cervix this time around so I can feel more confident.
  • Best to worst:

    1. 2nd trimester (easy peasy last time!)
    2. Labor (relatively quick and straight forward, no major issues)
    3. 3rd trimester (still easy, but getting uncomfortable toward the end)
    4. 4th trimester (ugh, I tore during delivery and had so many stitches. I hurt for weeks afterward while I healed.)
    5. 1st trimester (weeks of aversions and morning sickness, blah!)
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  • @creamcheeseplease it is astounding the things people see fit to say to you, isn't it?  I have heard a few doozies myself after my c-section. SMH
  • My son says something about wanting a sibling every day and I can't wait to tell him 😍  here's my ranking from what I can remember of the last go around::

    Best to Worst:
    1) 2nd Trimester- I felt great 🤩

    2) 4th Trimester- I know it was hard, but 7 years separated from that time I realize now how special it was

    3) Labor- I had a pretty textbook labor and delivery, no complaints 

    4) 3rd Trimester- Big & uncomfortable.. over it!

    5) 1st Trimester- Scared and sick! Lol

    By the way, I hope some FTM's are reading through these and see that for most of us the first trimester is really the worst of it. Hang in there ladies!
  • @ABabyMarshall I hope so too! I told someone the other day I'd rather go through another unmedicated delivery than weeks of first trimester torture! I wasnt lying, because at least the delivery is over faster 😂
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  • @gumby22c & @ABabyMarshall - I tell people who are thinking about babies and who are pregnant that no joke I would have labor every other weekend if it meant I didn't have to go through the actual pregnancy part.  24-48 hours of uncomfortableness trumps the 40 weeks of anxiety, mood swings and uncomfortableness of growing the actual baby.  

  • I’ve got two children, 7 year old boy and 5 year old girl.  I was on Jan12 and Aug13 BMBs, and still very active on the Facebook group that formed from the Aug13 group.  Actually, cannot wait until this group moves to Facebook.  

    Looking forward to baby kicks and sharing news with parents.
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