PGAL 3/27 — The Bump
November 2019 Moms

PGAL 3/27

This thread is a safe place for those who are pregnant after a loss. (PGAL). If you have suffered a loss please feel free to answer the questions below and keep things going throughout the week as a continuing conversation.  

If you haven’t suffered a loss, please refrain from answering the questions, but know we welcome anyone who wants to come in and support the PGAL ladies and their milestones with encouragement or love tits! Thank you!  

1. How many weeks are you? 

2. Previous loss(es)? 

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? 

4. Any appointment updates? 

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? 

6. Any milestones coming up? 

7. GTKY? What are the must haves in your dream home? 

Re: PGAL 3/27

  • ShadysLadyShadysLady member
    Long-Lasting Membership 10 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited March 28
    1. How many weeks are you? 7+6

    2. Previous loss(es)? 1 loss due to pprom at 20+5 in May 2018

    3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? physically mostly fine, tired, cramps &nausea on and off. Emotionally a bit of a wreck, just trying to go week by week. 

    4. Any appointment updates? Next appt on the 3rd, my doctor is being great about letting me come in every 2 weeks to calm my anxiety

    5. Rants/Raves/Questions? 

    6. Any milestones coming up? 

    7. GTKY? What are the must haves in your dream home? A large master suite, we have a tiny bathroom and tiny closet in our current home, which after living in an apt for 10+ years is a huge luxury, but since I'm dreaming big I'd love a huge walk in closet and bathroom with a soaking tub. Also  family room which privacy and huge windows
  • @ShadysLady ; I think there are several of us with appointments on the 3rd and 4th. I hope your appointment goes well. 

    1. How many weeks are you? 6+3

    2. Previous loss(es)? 15 week loss due to large SCH. 

    3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Emotionally I'm anxious all the time. I'm worried that every time I go to the bathroom I'm going to see blood. I'm also ready to get my US over with. I told DH I really don't want to go alone so he may see if he can make it. My appointment is at 11 and he gets off of a night shift that morning. I'm not sure if he will be able to stay awake. Physically in started to feel more nauseous as the days pass. It is ramping up and today it started as soon as I woke up. My food preferences keep changing rapidly. So everything I bought to eat this week sounds and looks nasty. 

    4. Any appointment updates? 

    5. Rants/Raves/Questions? 

    6. Any milestones coming up? I feel like getting through this first US and finding out if I have a SCH is a milestone. Getting past 15 weeks is another. 

    7. GTKY? What are the must haves in your dream home?  A large master bedroom that fits my king bed. A bathroom with his and her sinks. A room specifically designated for toys. A finished basement so we could have more than 1 living space. An extra room that I could make into a craft room. I would like an updated kitchen with amazing cabinets that are designed for organization. 
  • 1. How many weeks are you? 7+3

    2. Previous loss(es)? (2) MCs, Stillbirth at 23 due to genetic abnormalities 

    3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically- extremely exhausted and bloated. Emotionally- PGAL brain is a tough one this week. I’m trying to be optimistic, but this is my 5th pregnancy and I have one living child. I struggle talking about this pregnancy, because I always use “ if it works out” or “hopefully” which infuriates me that my brain automatically adds in caution. 

    I feel similar @emeraldcity1214. Constantly checking to make sure the toilet paper is still white and I need this dating u/s over with.

    4. Any appointment updates? Dating u/s on April 4th

    5. Rants/Raves/Questions? We received our final genetic testing results on Monday from my last pregnancy with our Son who passed at 23w. It was actually positive news and another piece of the puzzle. I also discussed the protocol for this new pregnancy and I’ll be monitored very closely by prenatal genetics which is comforting. I qualify for a special u/s at 12w that is still in development phase and then will have regular ultrasounds until we confirm a healthy pregnancy. Unfortunately, testing like NIPT won’t show the abnormal mutation I have, our only option is ultrasound monitoring. Even though it’s unlikely to happen again, I’m relieved that our medical team is on top of it.

    6. Any milestones coming up? Dating ultrasound, I’ve had a previous MMC discovered at 8w so I am always happy to get past that point. 

    7. GTKY? What are the must haves in your dream home?  We are actually either buying an existing house next year or building new. I definitely need a separate designated space for toys, 4 bedrooms, space for a home gym and lots of storage!

  • @doraleigh35 yes to a home gym! 
  • So I'm going to be straight up and admit I'm not in the mood to answer the questions this week. (So I guess that answers the how I'm doing emotionally haha) And I guess the rest is the rants/raves part... 

    I should be 6 weeks today but still have no idea what's going on with my body. I feel like the office I go to is also not in a hurry to help me figure it out so I'm just anxious and pretty much on the verge of tears all the time. I don't even have an ultrasound scheduled. 

    Also I'm totally in that boat of checking for bleeding when I go to the bathroom. Sometimes I go just because I've convinced myself I'm bleeding. 
  • @ashcakes921 have you considered finding a new OB? One that makes you feel like they are actually taking care of you. 
  • @ashcakes921 I think the way you're being treated is crap. It sounded like they just wanted you to schedule a D&C this week, right? When were they planning on even addressing that with you? It sounds like they have no plan and I'm honestly livid on your behalf. I think I'd call and demand to be seen/get an ultrasound. If they don't agree, I'd look for another doctor. I hope I'm not sounding harsh, but my heart is really breaking for you and the last thing you need is uncertainty and to feel like you're not a priority. 
  • @ashcakes921 I am so sorry you are dealing with this, and don't have any support from your OB! I hope they either step it up (because the way they are treating you isn't okay), or you find a new office. 

    1. How many weeks are you? 6+2

    2. Previous loss(es)? MC at 8 weeks

    3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? So incredibly sick. I can't even get off the couch most of the day. I know that nausea is actually a positive sign, but it is kicking my butt right now. 

    4. Any appointment updates? First appointment and ultrasound yesterday. I'm measuring four days ahead, which is a big relief, because last time I was 1-2 weeks behind at my ultrasound, and miscarried a few days later. However, they also found a small SCH, which is making me apprehensive. They said I have to be really careful about exertion, and about lifting things, which has made things a lot more difficult. DS just wants me to pick him up, and I'm not supposed to. I've settled for lifting him as little as possible, but realistically, I have to pick him up multiple times a day. 

    5. Rants/Raves/Questions? 

    6. Any milestones coming up? 

    7. GTKY? What are the must haves in your dream home? Closet space and storage! And a big kitchen. 
  • @abbsters-2 I have been trying to take it super easy since I found out I was pregnant so if I do I a SCH it hopefully won't grow. I had one last time that was huge. If yours is small it should heal up pretty quick. 
  • 1. How many weeks are you? I’ve decided I’m going by o date instead of LMP because it means I’m acknowledging I’m earlier and therefore more at risk, even though it’s just 3 days difference. 3 days is so huge at this point. So I am 4w

    2. Previous loss(es)? MC

    3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically fine. Emotionally is a different story. I still haven’t made my first appointment. Haven’t called the doc at all. Will probably do so next Friday, and even then that’s only because I need to find out if by chance they actually want to see me sooner because of the small fibroids they found at my MC ultrasound and the doc mentioning more frequent ultrasounds when PG but I wasn’t in the place to think to ask about how soon they would start. @doraleigh35  I haven’t been through half of what you have *hugs* but I use the exact same language and haven’t cancelled any of the things we have booked travel wise around the time I’m due or when travel restrictions would go into effect . I just figure there’s no point. 🤷‍♀️ 

    4. Any appointment updates? See above 😛

    5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Nope

    6. Any milestones coming up? AF is officially late as of today! Which does make it seem a little more real. 

    7. GTKY? What are the must haves in your dream home? Well, we built our dream home 5 years ago. And it has many of the things already mentioned. 12.5 acres with a pond and the house nestled in the woods and no neighbors to be seen, dog room, master air bath, massive master walk in shower with bench, gym area in garage, his and hers closets and sinks, super intricate cabinetry with a kitchen designed to be efficient for cooking and storing cooking things (we get loads of compliments on how well thought out and functional and beautiful the cabinets are), massive stone fireplace, wood beams, giant windows with no curtains, and as of today landscaping is finally complete including fire pit with seated area and a water feature! But there was a LOT of thought put into every aspect of our house’s design, not to mention years and years and years of saving even when I was in grad school and we could only save $90/month. H would want a pool, I say they’re too much work! I love our house!
  • @ashcakes921 I can’t say anything the other ladies haven’t already said, so count me as +1 to your OB office behavior being completely unacceptable. 

    @emeraldcity1214 @ashcakes921 @doraleigh35 I’m also a chronic TP checker. 🙁 I hope I can get over that at some point and just be happy but I don’t know if I’ll get there. I guess that’s what motherhood is all about, always worried? Oh to be naive again about the realities of loss!

    @abbsters-2 glad to hear about babe’s measurement and FX that SCH disappears!
  • Oh yes, GL to all with upcoming appointments! So many of them!  🤞 
  • If everything goes well at my US I'm going to finally have some pregnant sex. My poor husband has been so patient. I'm just too scared to go anything just in case. 
  • @emeraldcity1214 ugh, this is me too. I've never had a SCH in pregnancy, but the prospect of having any spotting or bleeding (even if due to an irritated cervix and is explainable) is unsettling to me so I'm just avoiding it for now and trying to maintain the status quo. I also had a clinically short cervix by my third trimester with my son, and even though he was born full term at 39w, I have some anxieties about it and am just pretty much doing a self-imposed pelvic rest until my first appointment.

    I realize I kind of creep on the PGAL threads and I hope that's OK. My last pregnancy was our son who was born 1000% healthy and is thriving. We had two losses before that, the first of which was pretty traumatic, and although I am in such a different headspace now (thankfully!) than I was during his pregnancy, I still relate to you all and feel the fear creep in every now and then. I'm OK with not participating and popping in on this thread if it makes anyone uncomfortable, though.  Just let me know :)
  • @LoneStar21416 you are welcome to comment on this thread. I'm sorry for your losses. I wish non of us belonged to this group. 
  • 1. How many weeks are you? 7w3d

    2. Previous loss(es)? 1/19 5w2d

    3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Like I'm losing it. I've been to the hospital 3 times already, my hcg levels dropped about 3 weeks ago, have risen since but not much at all, but each time an u/s is done, there's a healthy heartbeat and normal growth progression.  Now to make matters worse I've been bleeding since Friday.   

    4. Any appointment updates? Went to the doctors yesterday,  no tissue yet and cervix is still closed , u/s scheduled Tuesday 

    5. Rants/Raves/Questions? I just want answers , I hate to think we will miscarry again , it took us over a year before we got our first bfp in January,  we really want this but if I'm going to I just want it to happen already. I can't handle this stress 

    6. Any milestones coming up? Made it past the m/c last time .

    7. GTKY? What are the must haves in your dream home? Large property with some water for my dog to run around in, wood floors, a spacious closet with built in shelves and a huge open shower 
  • @mommystuebs I'm so sorry you're in limbo. That's a terrible place to be. Hugs!
  • Well I just miscarried, i feel sick in the head cause I have the little sac and can see the dark dot where the eye is, the little feet and tiny hand with webbed fingers and I don't want to throw it away it's our baby and I'm just so broken 
  • @mommystuebs I'm so so sorry that you are going through this. Is your husband with you? If not, can you call someone? I couldn't imagine going through that alone. My heart is breaking for you. I'm sending you so many hugs. ❤
  • @emeraldcity1214 he is here, we are trying to get through this, both of us are very troubled by the little hands. I wish the best for all of you ladies, we will be trying again soon. Keep us in your prayers please
  • @mommystuebs I will be praying for both of you. ❤
  • @mommystuebs I am so very sorry you experienced this. I’ll be thinking of you. Hugs. 
  • @mommystuebs I am so sorry for your loss. You are both in my prayers. After my loss, I used some fabric to line a box, and planted a tree over it in our backyard. I didn't want to just throw my baby away either. Please take care of yourself. Hugs.
  • @mommystuebs I am so sorry you're going through this loss. Hopefully you have found some way to handle the situation that has even in the tiniest way has helped the pain

    @LoneStar21416 they didn't even mention a D&C. I've had one before so I would think at the very least, they would do an ultrasound and see if this was needed. I basically feel like I was just told to wait around until I start bleeding or feeling pain  

    A midwife called my Thursday after I finally called them but I missed the call and it was right before they closed so they said I could call the on call midwife (which I didn't becaue it wasn't an emergency which is what I feel the on call is for) or they would "try" to call me yesterday. They didn't. I may call the other office in town on Monday
  • @ashcakes921 I had issues with the nurse not calling me back during my last pregnancy. She basically blew me off when I told her something was seriously wrong. I ended up finding out the next day we had lost the baby. Keep calling if they don't call you back!
  • @mommystuebs I'm so sorry. I hope you can find some peace. I will be thinking of you.
  • @emeraldcity1214 that's awful. I would have seriously rampaged in that office if that happened to me 
  • @ashcakes921 I was livid and told both OBs in the office about it. The only reason I still go to that office is because my OB is absolutely amazing. She was with me every step of my loss. She checked on me all day when I delivered Abigail. She called me the next day to check on me too. I just couldn't imagine seeing a different OB. 

    Although, since we are moving in June I have to find a new one. I'm hoping I can find one as good as her. 

    I do have her personal office phone number too. She told me to use it anytime I couldn't get through to the nurse. Of course I don't use it but I would if I thought I was losing this baby and her nurse was treating me like that again. 
  • My US and appointment is this Wednesday. I'm having so much anxiety and I literally start crying out of the blue for random things. I'm just so scared. 
  • @emeraldcity1214 I'm sorry you are having such bad anxiety. I hope that your appointment goes well on Wednesday, and gives you some peace!
  • KurtniKurtni member
    250 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    @emeraldcity1214 The build up is the worst. I hope you have a good appointment ❤️ 

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • mhavel1mhavel1 member
    10 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    @emeraldcity1214 praying for a positive appointment! 🙏
  • @emeraldcity1214 FX for a good appointment. I’ll be thinking of you!

    I finally caved yesterday and called to make my first appointment. Instead of making an appointment they’re bringing me in today for betas. I am simultaneously so nervous for the betas and so grateful for not having an appointment on the calendar. Now 2 days out from when the spotting started last time. 
  • @kurtni yes I agree the build up is definitely making it worse. I was hoping I was going to get early monitoring but she said there isn't anything we can do if I get another SCH. It would have been great for my peace of mind though. I wouldn't have been sitting here for 3 weeks panicking about what may or may not be going on in my uterus. 

    Plus I have practically zero symptoms and I'm 7 weeks. That makes me nervous. 

    @_khaleesi I will be praying you have great betas. 
  • @emeraldcity1214 I have very few symptoms and I'm 8+1, I totally get it. When is your appointment this week? I'm on Thursday and I can't wait to get past it. I'll be closely monitored by MFM/prenatal genetics, but not until after 12w. That doesn't help my current fear of a MMC.

  • @doraleigh35 my appointment is tomorrow at 11. 
  • @emeraldcity1214 I hope all goes well tomorrow! Easier said than done, but remember to just breath! Also, I have had very few symptoms too and have been freaking out!

    I finally got an ultrasound set up too. My hcg is going up but at a slower rate than they would expect so a week from today I have an ultrasound to see what the heck is going on
  • @emeraldcity1214 thinking of you today!

    @ashcakes921 glad there seems to be a plan! FX the next week goes by quickly for you and they find a perfectly healthy bean!
  • @_khaleesi thanks! I woke up feeling sick to my stomach over this US and I keep crying. My appointment isn't until 11 so I still have a while to wait. I'm just ready to get this over with. I'm pretty sure I'm going to bawl during the US whether it's good or bad at this point. 
  • ***lurking because December doesn't have a board yet!

    @emeraldcity1214 Thinking of you today lady, and keeping everything crossed!

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