@meagan-t Be sure to talk to your OB about what you want your birthing experience to be like. What sorts of interventions are totally off the table? Do you want to try to do alternative pain relief? That is often something that is discussed much later in pregnancy, but if you have fundamental differences in opinion, it is usually too late to change. Obviously this can all change day-of, but if your OB is super old-school and you want to be more modern and flexible, you should find out early.
Also, if you want DH to be the one to announce the sex of the baby, PLEASE make sure you tell everyone in the room! Doctors and nurses will sometimes jump the gun on that, just because it's what they normally do.
Also, if you want DH to be the one to announce the sex of the baby, PLEASE make sure you tell everyone in the room! Doctors and nurses will sometimes jump the gun on that, just because it's what they normally do.
Oh, I'm so glad you said that. I wouldn't have even thought of that! Thank you!
@meagan-t I can only speak from experience but I went to a baby shower for a friend not too long ago where the mom was team green and did not register for any clothes (she was a FTM but had lots of hand-me-down clothes of both sexes from friends and relatives so well prepared on that front)... but somehow got LOTS of clothes because in the end, people will buy whatever they want regardless if it's on the registry or not.
I think for a lot of people, clothes are the most fun to shop for and where you can maybe express your own personality (even though it's not YOU that you are buying for).
ETA clothes can sometimes be more affordable for some people (i.e., they buy the item at a place they may have coupons/on sale/priced for their budget).
TTC #1: September 2013, BFP 01/01/14, DS 09/14 TTC #2: October 2018, BFP 02/02/19, EDD 10/14/19
Team Finding Out/Blue/Pink/Green: Green! I'm also hoping to prevent the baby shower from turning into all clothes and very few necessities, like I've personally seen happen to several friends (even when they haven't registered for clothes).
A FTM friend of mine recently asked the pros/cons of finding out - I did with DS and will again bc I like to plan. But this is the biggest argument for a FTM to be team green. Especially if the baby ends up being a girl. My cousin got so. many. clothes. There’s no way her daughter was able to wear them all. And ended up with a lot of stuff left on her registry because of that. If someone really wanted to find out and wanted to avoid that happening I guess a “no clothes please” note could be put on the shower invite?
@meagan-t I’m one of those that got mostly clothes at the baby shower. We already had clothes so I ended up donating them all. Part of the reason I no longer tell anyone (not just MIL) my actual due date is that we were getting all kinds of astrology related things that didn’t match his actual birthdate.
I walked in to every appointment the first time around with a list. Sometimes the questions were pertaining to that stage of pregnancy, but I also asked a lot of “I know were not there yet, but..” kind of questions
Team Finding Out/Blue/Pink/Green: Green! I'm also hoping to prevent the baby shower from turning into all clothes and very few necessities, like I've personally seen happen to several friends (even when they haven't registered for clothes).
A FTM friend of mine recently asked the pros/cons of finding out - I did with DS and will again bc I like to plan. But this is the biggest argument for a FTM to be team green. Especially if the baby ends up being a girl. My cousin got so. many. clothes. There’s no way her daughter was able to wear them all. And ended up with a lot of stuff left on her registry because of that. If someone really wanted to find out and wanted to avoid that happening I guess a “no clothes please” note could be put on the shower invite?
Tried that (well, similar- we spread the rumor we already had too many clothes). Didn’t work
@meagan-t Be sure to talk to your OB about what you want your birthing experience to be like. What sorts of interventions are totally off the table? Do you want to try to do alternative pain relief? That is often something that is discussed much later in pregnancy, but if you have fundamental differences in opinion, it is usually too late to change. Obviously this can all change day-of, but if your OB is super old-school and you want to be more modern and flexible, you should find out early.
Also, if you want DH to be the one to announce the sex of the baby, PLEASE make sure you tell everyone in the room! Doctors and nurses will sometimes jump the gun on that, just because it's what they normally do.
This is one to do early and often— my OB with DS1 knew I was adamantly against foreceps and vacuum extraction, and we were able to get a game plan in place if it were to come to that
Currently waiting on sex results from progenity test, so nerve racking!!!! Should find out this week
Upcoming Appointments: Not until April!
How are you feeling?: Nausea finally subsiding but have vommitted a few times, I am so tired and my appetite is skyrocketing
Question/rant: My sex life has gone down the drain!! Anybody else? I'm too tired and pretty emotionally drained, I feel horrible but he's understanding
GTKY: If you could have one superpower, what would it be/how would you use it? I would breathe underwater!! I would use it to hang with the fishes and to run away from home to the sea!
@aylaevalyn My sex life is also down that drain. DH has been very understanding, but he's also frustrated. I think I'm beginning to get back to a point where the nausea isn't the only thought consuming my mind, but I don't want to tell him that until I'm positive. Part of it is also a fear that comes from the last time we had sex while pregnant, I began miscarrying next morning. I know it was just a coincidence, but it still scares me...
What's a sex life? I'm pretty sure the last time we had sex was when this little fetus was conceived...... But thats due to a whole host of reasons and one of them is all on DH (he's afraid of the progesterone suppositories....).
Yeah pretty sure sex is off the table for at least another month or so, until the nausea subsides. But zero guilt because, you know, I’m carrying his baby.
Yep, no sex here either. Last time was conception. I feel really bad, but I was sick with a cold like 3 separate times that first month. Then I've been traveling this month for clinicals. Maybe next month when things are semi normal and out of first trimester. I have to say though, our sex life was almost nonexistent during the last pregnancy and for like the first year after DD1 was born. Going to try to make more of an effort while I am still comfortable enough to enjoy it.
Team Finding Out/Blue/Pink/Green: team gender creative parenting, so finding out is pretty irrelevant
Upcoming Appointments: next one is the high risk scan (5 losses between my first born and this pregnancy) on the 27th
How are you feeling?: like I’m mentally hibernating until the first trimester is over
Rants/Raves: the nausea has stopped, hooray! The seasonal allergies have begun. Ugh.
Questions:
GTKY: If you could have one superpower, what would it be/how would you use it? Everyone has made such great cases for grit choices! Teleportation sounds he lost useful since I don’t drive, but only if I could bring someone’s with me. I’d also love to be a mind reader. I feel constantly baffled by folks’ motives so that’s be nifty
for everyone who’s lost their sex drive, same! I swear my body’s like alright we did our job time to close up shop! It was like this with my first too. I’ve found I just need to do some solo exploration to figure out how everything works, because I swear when I’m knocked up suddenly everything works so differently. And then just lots of communicating to partners and figuring out a new rhythm.
@meagan-t I totally agree with @steminist about stating what you would like delivery to be like, even if you know it’s just a wish list it’s important. I had gone to my obgyn since I started going when I was 16 and I loved the doctors and thought they were so great, so it was no problem for me choosing them for OB. I remember asking early on what their c section rates were and they totally brushed it off and said “average” but seemed annoyed that I’d asked. I should have stood up more at that time. I won’t go into my whole story but it was clear when I was induced that it was get people in and out as quick as they can, my doctor almost broke my water at 1 cm without asking me. I still am angry about how it all went down, and I feel very strongly about having trust with my new provider, who is a midwife and I’m so happy to be working with! Obviously healthy baby is most important, but definitely have those conversations! Sorry that got wordy 😬
On another note, I had a vacuum assisted birth and they let me know after those final pushes that we would be going to c section if he didn’t come out. So I am thankful that was an option! And we had no side effects from it.
Upcoming Appointments: Thursday for first appointment with the regular OB. We "graduated" from the RE after passing the 6-week scan without incident. Our RE was super competent and reassuring, so I'm hoping we have the same experience.
How are you feeling?: nauseous, weird
Rants/Raves: Have a friend further along than I am who keeps telling me all the things that can wrong and that I'm not "really" pregnant yet until I rule out all of these phantom problems. I'm sure she means well.
Questions: Should I be worrying about these phantom problems? Is it bad if I'm not?
GTKY: If you could have one superpower, what would it be/how would you use it? Dog whispering?
@sam3333 That is an absolute horrible thing your friend said! And it makes me seriously rage that she said you’re not really pregnant, so my babies didn’t count because they didn’t make her time mark!? F that
@sam3333 I'm with @kindbytealikat on this one. I hope your friend never has the experience we have had because shes in for 1 seriously rude awakening. My losses were legit pregnancies. They were as real as that second pink line no matter how long they lasted. SMDH....
Est Due Date / Weeks + Days: 8 weeks 2 days/ Oct 29
Baby is the size of a(n): Raspberry
FTM/STM/TTM+: FTM
Team Finding Out/Blue/Pink/Green: def finding out
Upcoming Appointments: Tomorrow for first OB appt
How are you feeling?: so nervous! So worried i’m going to get super fat since i’ve been eating so much (helps with nausea)...
Rants/Raves: I look like I just stopped caring about my weight obvi cuz there is no bump yet. I work in a spandex heavy environment filled with mirrors I’m a personal trainer
Questions:
GTKY: If you could have one superpower, what would it be/how would you use it? Shapeshifter/ ability to magically change appearance like hair color, eye color, ect.
@sam3333 This may be too blunt, but your friend sounds horrible. No, you should not be worried about the all the variety of things that could go wrong. Yes your pregnancy counts.
For those of you looking for questions to ask to get to know providers- ask how long you can go from water breaking to mandatory c section. It varies from 24-48 hours by provider, but a good one to know because it’s more common to need your water manually broken than you’d think
@prpl11butterfly First (last) baby, i know I was in my ninth week when I first heard the heartbeat. This time I heard it right at the beginning of week 9.
Est Due Date / Weeks + Days: 10 weeks (Due October 15th)
Baby is the size of a(n): ew, Olive
FTM/STM/TTM+: TTM
Team Finding Out/Blue/Pink/Green: Green (first time!)
Upcoming Appointments: Friday! Just a regular midwife appt. I'll schedule my NT scan then, probably for April 5th when I have a teacher work day.
How are you feeling?: Tired. DH is out of town. I schlepped a rail on our bed and am sleeping with both kids because they both need help at night and I am SO TIRED. Worked ok, just a little cramped this morning. Heartburn. Food aversion. No nausea though! I have lost 4 pounds in the last 6 weeks, which is not bad considering I lost almost ten pounds in first tri with the first two because I was so nauseous,
Rants/Raves: I just want food to taste good again. I think its my sweet taste buds that are messed up. Anything not naturally sweet at all, like asparagus, or anything super sweet, like jelly beans, are the only things that taste right to me. And salt is just killing me. Everything tastes so salty. My friggin apple tasted like vinegar.
Questions:
GTKY: If you could have one superpower, what would it be/how would you use it? I'm a traditionalist. I would want super strength (and bullet invulnerability, obviously) and save people from aliens and super-villains.
@kindbytealikat I like supportive bras with no underwire. Not spots bras or nursing bras, just regular ones with firmish cups that hug my ribs and hold my jugs. Underwires really hurt me though because I seem to get breast tenderness under my arms, right where the wire ends.
@melanier26 I don't think so. Jsut zap it until its steaming. The idea is to kill any germs that might be on it already.
@Cass005 Oatmeal! Quick, easy to dress up with fixings.
@jenferlee82 Girl, I never put mine away after my last pregnancy. (My jeans were too loose, but my maternity dress pants fit just fine if I folded the nylon over like yoga pants.)
Rants/Raves: I have a useless coworker, and I have to swap homerooms with him because he is refusing to do the 9th grade biology remediation we decided as a department needed to happen. I love bio, and don't mind doing it, but that means that I give up my calm senior group (which basically is an extra hour of planning) to go and work in his room because he can't be a team player.
We have teachers like this in my school too, and I just don't get it. Like, you have a job to to do, everyone knows what your job is, what makes you the special snowflake that doesn't have to do his job? Especially because it means someone else has to do it.
@meagan-t Honestly I don't have many. I feel like OBs usually tell you the most important information routinely. I ask specific questions about my situation, like When should I get this wisdom tooth removed? or Can I get a chest x-ray safely? If a question is generic, like the ones in the baby books, I don't ask because every baby pregnancy website on the interweb has already told me the answer, lol.
@wintersong I was thinking that, I just am hesitant because too many carbs really make me feel crappy. I may try it tomorrow though and take a break from the eggs.
Upcoming Appointments: Had my first one yesterday and it was a giant waste of time. They don't do ultrasounds at the first appt anymore, a policy that changed with the new OB in the practice (I mostly see the midwives after the first appt). So they weighed me and listened to me breathe. They are making me come back in two weeks for my first ultrasound. I'm feeling pretty annoyed by it. I just want to verify there is a heartbeat and only one baby!
How are you feeling?: Tired and have waves of nausea. I've thrown up once but been able to avoid it otherwise. My back is bothering me and I'm really looking forward to my chiropractor appt tomorrow!
Rants/Raves: Just so annoyed we haven't verified this pregnancy. I really want to tell our girls and just don't feel good about telling them unless I've seen the baby!
Questions:
GTKY: If you could have one superpower, what would it be/how would you use it? Hands down, apparation.
Upcoming Appointments: NT Scan a week from today. Then a virtual visit a few days after. My OB is actually starting this new 'program' where you do every other visit after like 20 weeks as a virtual visit. They will give me a BP cuff and a doppler and I will do the visits via skype. As a working mom with a toddler, it will be nice to not have to go in every time. Obviously if I ever had any issues or risk factors pop up, we wouldn't be able to do this. But for now, I am a low risk second time mom so I feel good about it.
How are you feeling?: still good, just tired. And driving makes me sick to my stomach, so that's fun.
Rants/Raves: work, as always.
Questions: none.
GTKY: If you could have one superpower, what would it be/how would you use it? Def loving teleportation like everyone else...but I think I might go with mind control. Because they you really get more powers since you can make other people do shit for you lol
Re: All Group Check-In Week of 3/18
Also, if you want DH to be the one to announce the sex of the baby, PLEASE make sure you tell everyone in the room! Doctors and nurses will sometimes jump the gun on that, just because it's what they normally do.
I think for a lot of people, clothes are the most fun to shop for and where you can maybe express your own personality (even though it's not YOU that you are buying for).
ETA clothes can sometimes be more affordable for some people (i.e., they buy the item at a place they may have coupons/on sale/priced for their budget).
TTC #2: October 2018, BFP 02/02/19, EDD 10/14/19
I walked in to every appointment the first time around with a list. Sometimes the questions were pertaining to that stage of pregnancy, but I also asked a lot of “I know were not there yet, but..” kind of questions
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
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BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
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BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Oct 2nd
11w6d
Babies are the size of a(n):
Lime/fig
FTM
Currently waiting on sex results from progenity test, so nerve racking!!!! Should find out this week
Upcoming Appointments:
Not until April!
How are you feeling?:
Nausea finally subsiding but have vommitted a few times, I am so tired and my appetite is skyrocketing
Question/rant: My sex life has gone down the drain!! Anybody else? I'm too tired and pretty emotionally drained, I feel horrible but he's understanding
GTKY: If you could have one superpower, what would it be/how would you use it?
I would breathe underwater!! I would use it to hang with the fishes and to run away from home to the sea!
Maybe our SO's should form a support group...🤔
Baby is the size of a(n): lime
FTM/STM/TTM+: stm
Team Finding Out/Blue/Pink/Green: team gender creative parenting, so finding out is pretty irrelevant
Upcoming Appointments: next one is the high risk scan (5 losses between my first born and this pregnancy) on the 27th
How are you feeling?: like I’m mentally hibernating until the first trimester is over
Rants/Raves: the nausea has stopped, hooray! The seasonal allergies have begun. Ugh.
Questions:
GTKY: If you could have one superpower, what would it be/how would you use it? Everyone has made such great cases for grit choices! Teleportation sounds he lost useful since I don’t drive, but only if I could bring someone’s with me. I’d also love to be a mind reader. I feel constantly baffled by folks’ motives so that’s be nifty
for everyone who’s lost their sex drive, same! I swear my body’s like alright we did our job time to close up shop! It was like this with my first too. I’ve found I just need to do some solo exploration to figure out how everything works, because I swear when I’m knocked up suddenly everything works so differently. And then just lots of communicating to partners and figuring out a new rhythm.
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
On another note, I had a vacuum assisted birth and they let me know after those final pushes that we would be going to c section if he didn’t come out. So I am thankful that was an option! And we had no side effects from it.
Baby is the size of a(n): raspberry
FTM/STM/TTM+: FTM
Team Finding Out/Blue/Pink/Green: Finding out!
Upcoming Appointments: Thursday for first appointment with the regular OB. We "graduated" from the RE after passing the 6-week scan without incident. Our RE was super competent and reassuring, so I'm hoping we have the same experience.
How are you feeling?: nauseous, weird
Rants/Raves: Have a friend further along than I am who keeps telling me all the things that can wrong and that I'm not "really" pregnant yet until I rule out all of these phantom problems. I'm sure she means well.
Questions: Should I be worrying about these phantom problems? Is it bad if I'm not?
GTKY: If you could have one superpower, what would it be/how would you use it? Dog whispering?
Also I’m tempted to change my superpower to dog whispering. Best response I’ve seen yet 🐶
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
Baby is the size of a(n): Raspberry
FTM/STM/TTM+: FTM
Team Finding Out/Blue/Pink/Green: def finding out
Upcoming Appointments: Tomorrow for first OB appt
How are you feeling?: so nervous! So worried i’m going to get super fat since i’ve been eating so much (helps with nausea)...
Rants/Raves: I look like I just stopped caring about my weight obvi cuz there is no bump yet. I work in a spandex heavy environment filled with mirrors I’m a personal trainer
Questions:
GTKY: If you could have one superpower, what would it be/how would you use it?
Shapeshifter/ ability to magically change appearance like hair color, eye color, ect.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Baby is the size of a(n): ew, Olive
FTM/STM/TTM+: TTM
Team Finding Out/Blue/Pink/Green: Green (first time!)
Upcoming Appointments: Friday! Just a regular midwife appt. I'll schedule my NT scan then, probably for April 5th when I have a teacher work day.
How are you feeling?: Tired. DH is out of town. I schlepped a rail on our bed and am sleeping with both kids because they both need help at night and I am SO TIRED. Worked ok, just a little cramped this morning. Heartburn. Food aversion. No nausea though! I have lost 4 pounds in the last 6 weeks, which is not bad considering I lost almost ten pounds in first tri with the first two because I was so nauseous,
Rants/Raves: I just want food to taste good again. I think its my sweet taste buds that are messed up. Anything not naturally sweet at all, like asparagus, or anything super sweet, like jelly beans, are the only things that taste right to me. And salt is just killing me. Everything tastes so salty. My friggin apple tasted like vinegar.
Questions:
GTKY: If you could have one superpower, what would it be/how would you use it? I'm a traditionalist. I would want super strength (and bullet invulnerability, obviously) and save people from aliens and super-villains.
@melanier26 I don't think so. Jsut zap it until its steaming. The idea is to kill any germs that might be on it already.
@Cass005 Oatmeal! Quick, easy to dress up with fixings.
@jenferlee82 Girl, I never put mine away after my last pregnancy. (My jeans were too loose, but my maternity dress pants fit just fine if I folded the nylon over like yoga pants.)
We have teachers like this in my school too, and I just don't get it. Like, you have a job to to do, everyone knows what your job is, what makes you the special snowflake that doesn't have to do his job? Especially because it means someone else has to do it.
@meagan-t Honestly I don't have many. I feel like OBs usually tell you the most important information routinely. I ask specific questions about my situation, like When should I get this wisdom tooth removed? or Can I get a chest x-ray safely? If a question is generic, like the ones in the baby books, I don't ask because every baby pregnancy website on the interweb has already told me the answer, lol.
I was thinking that, I just am hesitant because too many carbs really make me feel crappy. I may try it tomorrow though and take a break from the eggs.
Baby is the size of a(n): cherry
FTM/STM/TTM+: TTM
Team Finding Out/Blue/Pink/Green: finding out.
Upcoming Appointments: Had my first one yesterday and it was a giant waste of time. They don't do ultrasounds at the first appt anymore, a policy that changed with the new OB in the practice (I mostly see the midwives after the first appt). So they weighed me and listened to me breathe. They are making me come back in two weeks for my first ultrasound. I'm feeling pretty annoyed by it. I just want to verify there is a heartbeat and only one baby!
How are you feeling?: Tired and have waves of nausea. I've thrown up once but been able to avoid it otherwise. My back is bothering me and I'm really looking forward to my chiropractor appt tomorrow!
Rants/Raves: Just so annoyed we haven't verified this pregnancy. I really want to tell our girls and just don't feel good about telling them unless I've seen the baby!
Questions:
GTKY: If you could have one superpower, what would it be/how would you use it? Hands down, apparation.
Baby is the size of a(n): Lego Man
FTM/STM/TTM+: STM
Team Finding Out/Blue/Pink/Green: Def finding out
Upcoming Appointments: NT Scan a week from today. Then a virtual visit a few days after. My OB is actually starting this new 'program' where you do every other visit after like 20 weeks as a virtual visit. They will give me a BP cuff and a doppler and I will do the visits via skype. As a working mom with a toddler, it will be nice to not have to go in every time. Obviously if I ever had any issues or risk factors pop up, we wouldn't be able to do this. But for now, I am a low risk second time mom so I feel good about it.
How are you feeling?: still good, just tired. And driving makes me sick to my stomach, so that's fun.
Rants/Raves: work, as always.
Questions: none.
GTKY: If you could have one superpower, what would it be/how would you use it? Def loving teleportation like everyone else...but I think I might go with mind control. Because they you really get more powers since you can make other people do shit for you lol