Bit of a lurker here... wanting some thoughts if that's ok to ask....
This is baby #3. We are 50/50 about having a scheduled section v. VBA2C (depends on how things look at the end - we wanted more kids after this but I'm not willing to have 4+ c/s so if no VBAC then this one is it).
My first two sections were pretty much identical... gush of fluid, meuconium but baby looks good (just "mature" they said), go in at a 4, stall around an 8, contractions pick up, baby doesn't tolerate, c/s, although my personal opinion (which my MD doesn't entirely disagree with), is that either could have been a vag birth if given more time. For those prior two deliveries, I actually found my sweet husband really frustrating and not helpful (he doesn't handle that kind of stress well and in turn it was very distracting to me, personally), and this was right around the time labor stalled and emotions got crazy, and so forth.
There are two reasons I'm really leaning towards this: First... when I'm alone I'm naturally a strong and decisive person, even under extreme stress I am able to be cool headed, but when we're together I like to be able to lean on him but history has shown that then I lean on him in THIS particular situation, he isn't able to give what I need him to give, and I kind of end up in a free-fall that I just don't have the energy to recover from. Second: I feel that he also hasn't put a lot of effort into learning about birth, supporting a partner through giving birth, talking about our plans (more kids, less kids, last baby, tubes tied, etc...) so I feel like I'd really rather just be there alone since I'm the one that has to do it and I'm the one putting in all the effort (he did do the course and keep a copy of the "birth preferences" I had and tried to follow them for #2 but it was just really unnatural feeling and not helpful).
I just think it would be easier to go in and focus inward and on what I am there to do (whichever way baby comes out), rather than worrying about him frustrating me, or needing clarification again on what I asked for, etc. I'm thinking we go in together but he goes out at intervals to give me alone time. That way he's close in case anything comes up, but not so close that he's crowding my personal and mental space.
Anyone else not have their spouse in the room/thinking about not having their spouse in the room for delivery?
PS- please don't think I hate my husband, he's really a sweet sweet dad and very much the love of my life. This just hasn't been (historically) and experience that we do well together, despite best efforts.