@lyse01 thanks I don’t really think about these activities as schooling, especially since he already goes to school. But they’re definitely skill building! The main thing is that he only does them if he wants to, they’re supposed to be fun, not work. At this age I’m totally opposed to forcing anything. But if I were a SAHM I’d definitely do stuff like you mentioned you used to do, mostly because otherwise I’d go crazy with boredom.
@stefanielyn1991 I agree with the above. It sounds like the doctor was really trying to impress upon you the seriousness of your situation. No doctor wants to EVER lose a baby, and they typically aren’t recommending tons of appointments just for shits and giggles. I agree that it’s important to discuss your transportation barriers with your doctor and try to figure out how to get the medical care you need. Even if these appointments are highly inconvenient, it’s better than the potential alternative.
@stefanielyn1991 It sounds like the doctor is having some difficulty communicating effectively with you, but like other posters have said, I don’t think he’s just trying to be alarmist and gloomy. He’s (perhaps unsuccessfully) trying to convey the importance of the testing that you’re turning down. The doc isn’t trying to be mean to you- he’s clearly very concerned about something. Especially if you’re having difficulty completing your NSTs, you need to talk with your care team about access to appointments and find something that will work. Many OB practices will have a social worker or resource nurse that may be easier to speak to about transportation.
I obviously take my babies health very seriously but she's fine. Its literally ONLY because I'm heavier that he is saying this. If something was genuinely wrong I would go to a million appts. I pass every single test they do just fine the only reason I havent been passing these NSTs and the reason I dont wanna continue is because I feel so bad which has nothing to with her or the test. I just think their were ways he couldve handled this better. I wont be seeing him again.
@stefanielyn1991 I wear size 16-18, with a pre-preg BMI of 32+, and my practice seems completely unconcerned with it. It’s possible that there’s something in the way we carry our weight that makes them treat us differently, or something else in our medical histories, but I agree with @lin0442 that there’s something there that’s concerning to the doctor. You are entirely within your rights to seek a second opinion, even at this late stage, and in fact I encourage you to do so. But I really wouldn’t dismiss everything they are saying as coming from a weight bias just because your daughter hasn’t shown issues YET.
Also, definitely file a comment about bedside manner with the practice.
@stefanielyn1991 you feeling poorly would not make you fail a NST. An NST tests baby’s movement. You can feel terrible and the baby can still be very active. Again, (like everyone else) I really urge you to take your doctor seriously. Honestly, it’s foolish not to take this seriously just because it’s inconvenient. Like others said, there’s nothing wrong with getting a second opinion. But you need to find a doctor one way or another, and it may be difficult to find a new one who will take you this late in the game.
@lyse01 my MIL is one of those people that will sit in the waiting room for hours(I won’t let her in the room). She tried to get inseveral times with DD but the nurses took care of it for me. With DS we weren’t going to tell her but she was watching DD when we were told I had to be induced. This time since my mom is at my house to watch the kids, DH doesn’t want to tell her till we get home. Which I’m all for. The only problem is that DH works for the family business and they basically can’t function without him so they will figure it out.
@mrdcle “hi” I was wondering how you’re doing. Hope everyone is happy and healthy!
@kangstadt I would defiantly have to sleep downstairs because I can’t do that many stairs with my SPD. Or get a chamber pot....lol jk😜
Yes it would because I couldn't lay still and let them finish. I'm not complaining that it's inconvenient. When I asked my doctor said its just because of your weight so no no other concerns. Im not asking to be judged and ganged up on I thought I could vent but apparently this isnt the place my bad.
@stefanielyn1991 I know it must suck to feel like you’re being called out. But I would try not to dismiss this as just being judged. People are really just trying to help you and are concerned for the welfare of your baby. I think that’s the beauty of this group, personally. I am not sure if this will be well received, but that’s just my opinion.
Thats just the thing tho my baby is fine absolutely nothing is wrong. You've all seemed to have formed the opinion that I'm ignoring doctors because I just don't care without having actually listened to the facts. I just needed a place to vent I regret that decision immensely. I'm sorry
Thats just the thing tho my baby is fine absolutely nothing is wrong. You've all seemed to have formed the opinion that I'm ignoring doctors because I just don't care without having actually listened to the facts. I just needed a place to vent I regret that decision immensely. I'm sorry
Failing NSTs doesn’t indicate that a baby is doing great. I think we’re all just confused based on the info you’re presenting.
They called it failing but I couldn't lay on my back long enough to actually finish it i had to sit up. They then sent me to an ultrasound biophysical thing which she passed with flying colors 8/8. The second time they couldn't find a good spot to do the reading although her heartbeat was fine BUT again I couldn't lay on my back like they needed. When they are able to complete test she passes quickly when they cant its my fault not hers
We had a pretty active day today. It was finally nice weather after days of rain, so we went out for breakfast, ran errands, and played at the park.
Our coconut tree / chicka-chicka-boom-boom activity was a hit today. He came and went from it all day, finishing matching all the letters just after dinner. I’m thinking I’ll do a “day the crayons quit” inspired set up for tomorrow. I’ll cover the table with paper and draw a few pictures with pen, then put out crayons (and the pen) for him, and see what he does! Plus I’ll put the book out to read and for inspiration, of course. Skills: creativity and imagination, pencil grip and fine motor control, pre-reading, and leaving mommy alone while she drinks her coffee.
Tomorrow is the last day of spring break. I’ve been enjoying our time home together, but I’m ready to get back to work!! I’ll probably end up having to work a ton this weekend as well (unfortunately) since I didn’t get much done this week, even in the evenings.
I’m sorry @stefanielyn1991 but I’m calling 100% BS. I’ve had multiple NST and BPP on during both of my pregnancies and my movements or how I laid did not affect the outcome of either test. If your doctor is saying he is concerned, he’s saying it for a good reason. I get that three appointments per week is a lot, but you need to talk to them about scheduling on one day or a social worker who can help you with transportation issues.
I feel like we aren't getting the entire story because if your doctor said those things to you, he would also voice WHY he feels the way he does and the medical reasons why he is concerned. Regardless, a doctor telling me those things would cause me to panic and go to every appointment possible to make sure we have the best outcome possible. I’m not saying he can’t improve his bedside behavior, but I think you’re not telling us the whole story.
@professormama, our downstairs toilet doesn't work because of a bad grade/slope (it's technically a basement, though only partially underground) and we probably do need a new septic at some point to deal with that one... luckily, this was just a bad clog that our plunger couldn't get at and the plumber used an augur and we're good.
@lyse01, because Murphy's law, exactly! Whatever can go wrong, must... <- because if I don't laugh I'll cry, haha.
@blueberrymomma, I seriously considered a bucket this morning when the plumber was still here and I had to poop...
Had a beautiful day outside today and took DS and my nephew to the park. My nephew has just started saying my son's name, but mispronounces it in that adorable 18 month old way, and it melted my heart thinking of the little brother that DS is going to have soon doing the same thing.
@professormama I absolutely love your activities that you’ve been doing with your son this week - and that you’re incorporating books into them! I may have to do some brainstorming for activities like this that I can do with my nephews the next time I spend the day with them.
@jlklec19 thanks!! They are definitely buying me some sanity, especially since we haven’t watched TV all week (pizza & movie night tomorrow night- wooo!!). I only do one activity a day, and they’re not always a hit, but since set up takes under 5 minutes, it’s totally worth the time. I’m going to try to keep them up even after he goes back next week, because starting the day with TV just isn’t working for us recently and I need something to keep him busy while I get ready for work.
@kangstadt so glad your toilet is fixed and that it was a somewhat minor fix!
Guys, my pregnancy brain is out of control. Like.... I almost didn’t get into the breakfast restaraunt this morning, until I saw someone else go in as I was walking back to my car. I was pushing instead of pulling the door. Then I went to pay after breakfast and realized I left my wallet at home. Had to run home and get it, then go back to pay.
Toddlers are germ magnets. Today is DD 3rd bday. I got her a little cherry pie because it's pi day, but she's got a stomach bug so no pie and we have to postpone her party til next weekend 🙁
In other news, DH was not taught to clean properly. DD got sick in the kitchen and while I gave her a bath, DH wiped everything up with paper towels and clorox wipes, but he didnt get the walls, baseboards, pantry door, diaper bag, etc. They were still visibly dirty when I came back! So at 34 weeks pregnant I'm on my hands and knees scrubbing everything with a bucket of lysol. My back is killing me, but my kitchen looks fantastic.
@tmblickley so sorry you had to reschedule your party. Hopefully you can steer clear of catching the bug too! We've had flu and the stomach bug like crazy this week at school... With one student vomiting at my feet and another just back from having the flu sneezing in my face, I'm really nervous!
In other news, my cousin is coming over today and I'm going hand-me-down shopping! So of course it's 3am and I'm planning how to clean my house quickly tomorrow morning! #pregsomnia
@stefanielyn1991 I can't really stay quite anymore reading this. I feel like you have been the only one in this entire group that has caused the slightest bit of drama. You don't need to be defensive. Just as you've voiced your opinion and concerns regarding your experience with your doctor, other people are also entitled to their opinion if you're going to put it on this board. Everyone is just concerned, but you seem to be taking it as an assault against you. Either take the constructive criticism or just stop posting.
@professormama I’m pretty sure there was one in like, September.
That said, i want @stefanielyn1991 to find support, and I hope she understands that support in this group is not all “yep, you do you against medical advice.” There’s a definite bias towards evidence based medical care in this group, and the evidence DOES show an (slight but statistically significant) increased rate of stillbirth in obese women...but an absolute rate that is still very low. Therefore, a doctor claiming a 75% chance of stillbirth without close monitoring means there must be a significant additional concern. We are also sympathetic to structural obstacles to medical care but will continue to recommend resources to overcome those obstacles. I don’t see this as ganging up.
My brother's wife has also been expecting a baby in April. Due to GD and Pre-E she had a C-section a few days ago. Here's my neice born on Tuesday at 35 weeks! The night before she was delivered, I had a dream my own baby had the same hair color! We shall see... :-)
Being called a liar is not constructive criticism sweetie. I know that what I said is exactly how it happened seeing as I was the one that was there. It's frustrating to be told I'm going to have a stillbirth when she is fine. When I asked why i had to do the extra test he said because of your weight. There are no additional concerns. I'm done explaining that and if you dont believe me well that doesn't really matter. I came looking for someone who could talk about their experiences being heavy and having healthy pregnancies. I literally just wanted some hope. Instead I got called a liar and that I don't care about my baby. Im sorry you think I cause drama but I don't really see it that way. I'll continue to post if I feel like it but by all means feel free to not reply
@stefanielyn1991 I can also tell you that your story doesn't add up after reading your posts for the last few months; I am not calling you a liar but there seems to be something missing to your doctor's concern outside of your weight.
If you are seeing an OB who's sole, singular reason for this many NST's and who's basing such a high stillbirth rate probability on you being obese, then you need a new OB. I have been much, much bigger than you are now (former size 28/30) and was pregnant at that time. There was never an OB that told me I would be such a high risk because of my weight alone. I'm still heavy with a BMI over 34 and having a healthy pregnancy, but I can tell you that I don't have much desire to try to commiserate with you when you only seem to care about yourself. You don't show much support to others here in return for the support you continuously ask for.
And as a side note, your attitude here in these responses when all that's been expressed is concern for you and your baby is exactly why people are responding the way they are, "sweetie". You aren't going to like the continued responses to your posts if you continue to act like a petulant child when people don't agree with you. It is very hard to not be critical of someone who seems to think they know better than their medical provider.
@stefanielyn1991 I think you were called out after you started copping an attitude. Just like you saying "sweetie" is completely sarcastic. Most of the posts here were filled with concern, but you kept coming back as extremely defensive. I'm not placating into your aggressive tone. But I think you just want the attention.
Even though I’ve secretly enjoyed this action after such a dead week on the bump.....I need some advice on contractions: I’ve been having contractions on and off all day. And since I’ve only ever been induced it’s hard for me to differentiate between BH and real ones. I have them whether I’m standing, walking, sitting, or laying on my side. I’ll have a couple that are 5min apart and then they’ll be 20min apart. Also baby is still pretty high so I don’t feel the need to call yet. Also yes I’ve been drinking water all day and I do have some back pain. Im going to take a shower (baths gross me out lol) and see if that makes a difference
Your whole middle paragraph is the reason I'm so frustrated. Whether you believe me or not that does seem to be the only reason their worried and everything you said is exactly why I'm frustrated i know bigger people than me who have had babies. What other reason could he have? Hes never mentioned any other concern my bp is always great she moves regularly she passed her bio 8/8 I really dont know what else to tell you. I'm not trying to be a bitch I'm not trying to be selfish. I thought I was showing plenty of support im sorry you feel otherwise. Its hard not get an attitude when youre being called a liar. Id love to find a new ob but im due in 3 weeks I'm not sure that's even possible. If all youre going to do is call me a liar then please don't respond.
Anyone im done with all the negativity I dont have the energy so back to bump as usual @blueberrymomma I'm in the same boat no idea what one feels like. They say BH are painless? Have you lost your plug (can you go into labor without losing it?) If they dont go away when you reposition though id say they're real but what do i know?
@blueberrymomma Could it be prodromal labor / false labor? I had contractions on and off, sometimes 5 minutes apart, other times an hour apart, for a couple days this week. I’ve also only ever been induced so it made me nervous. But I looked it up, and it sounds like it wasn’t anything serious and is pretty common. That being said, if it continues, definitely better safe than sorry and it doesn’t hurt to call your doctor.
@blueberrymomma I have no advice to give, but it probably wouldn't hurt to call anyway, just to be on the safe side. Being neurotic as I am, I most definitely would! Please keep us posted.
No I haven’t lost my plug yet.... but you don’t have to before labor. My shower definitely helped my back
Btw, losing your mucus plug isn’t a meaningful sign of anything. You can lose it multiple times and it can regrow multiple times before labor. So don’t take that to mean anything.
@professormama that’s what I’m torn about. My practical side says it’s just prodromal labor. But my anxious side is like this has never happened before. Also I know the mucus plug is not significant
@rennie1108 if they increase in frequency and intensity I definitely will call
@blueberrymomma Do you need to stop during the contractions? Can you talk during them? That's one of the reasons that I am supposed to call is if I have to stop and can't talk through them.
Re: Randoms 3/4
@stefanielyn1991 I agree with the above. It sounds like the doctor was really trying to impress upon you the seriousness of your situation. No doctor wants to EVER lose a baby, and they typically aren’t recommending tons of appointments just for shits and giggles. I agree that it’s important to discuss your transportation barriers with your doctor and try to figure out how to get the medical care you need. Even if these appointments are highly inconvenient, it’s better than the potential alternative.
Also, definitely file a comment about bedside manner with the practice.
@mrdcle “hi” I was wondering how you’re doing. Hope everyone is happy and healthy!
@kangstadt I would defiantly have to sleep downstairs because I can’t do that many stairs with my SPD. Or get a chamber pot....lol jk😜
I am not sure if this will be well received, but that’s just my opinion.
Our coconut tree / chicka-chicka-boom-boom activity was a hit today. He came and went from it all day, finishing matching all the letters just after dinner. I’m thinking I’ll do a “day the crayons quit” inspired set up for tomorrow. I’ll cover the table with paper and draw a few pictures with pen, then put out crayons (and the pen) for him, and see what he does! Plus I’ll put the book out to read and for inspiration, of course. Skills: creativity and imagination, pencil grip and fine motor control, pre-reading, and leaving mommy alone while she drinks her coffee.
Tomorrow is the last day of spring break. I’ve been enjoying our time home together, but I’m ready to get back to work!! I’ll probably end up having to work a ton this weekend as well (unfortunately) since I didn’t get much done this week, even in the evenings.
I feel like we aren't getting the entire story because if your doctor said those things to you, he would also voice WHY he feels the way he does and the medical reasons why he is concerned. Regardless, a doctor telling me those things would cause me to panic and go to every appointment possible to make sure we have the best outcome possible. I’m not saying he can’t improve his bedside behavior, but I think you’re not telling us the whole story.
@lyse01, because Murphy's law, exactly! Whatever can go wrong, must...
@blueberrymomma, I seriously considered a bucket this morning when the plumber was still here and I had to poop...
Had a beautiful day outside today and took DS and my nephew to the park. My nephew has just started saying my son's name, but mispronounces it in that adorable 18 month old way, and it melted my heart thinking of the little brother that DS is going to have soon doing the same thing.
@kangstadt so glad your toilet is fixed and that it was a somewhat minor fix!
Guys, my pregnancy brain is out of control. Like.... I almost didn’t get into the breakfast restaraunt this morning, until I saw someone else go in as I was walking back to my car. I was pushing instead of pulling the door. Then I went to pay after breakfast and realized I left my wallet at home. Had to run home and get it, then go back to pay.
In other news, DH was not taught to clean properly. DD got sick in the kitchen and while I gave her a bath, DH wiped everything up with paper towels and clorox wipes, but he didnt get the walls, baseboards, pantry door, diaper bag, etc. They were still visibly dirty when I came back! So at 34 weeks pregnant I'm on my hands and knees scrubbing everything with a bucket of lysol. My back is killing me, but my kitchen looks fantastic.
In other news, my cousin is coming over today and I'm going hand-me-down shopping! So of course it's 3am and I'm planning how to clean my house quickly tomorrow morning! #pregsomnia
That said, i want @stefanielyn1991 to find support, and I hope she understands that support in this group is not all “yep, you do you against medical advice.” There’s a definite bias towards evidence based medical care in this group, and the evidence DOES show an (slight but statistically significant) increased rate of stillbirth in obese women...but an absolute rate that is still very low. Therefore, a doctor claiming a 75% chance of stillbirth without close monitoring means there must be a significant additional concern. We are also sympathetic to structural obstacles to medical care but will continue to recommend resources to overcome those obstacles. I don’t see this as ganging up.
The night before she was delivered, I had a dream my own baby had the same hair color! We shall see... :-)
If you are seeing an OB who's sole, singular reason for this many NST's and who's basing such a high stillbirth rate probability on you being obese, then you need a new OB. I have been much, much bigger than you are now (former size 28/30) and was pregnant at that time. There was never an OB that told me I would be such a high risk because of my weight alone. I'm still heavy with a BMI over 34 and having a healthy pregnancy, but I can tell you that I don't have much desire to try to commiserate with you when you only seem to care about yourself. You don't show much support to others here in return for the support you continuously ask for.
And as a side note, your attitude here in these responses when all that's been expressed is concern for you and your baby is exactly why people are responding the way they are, "sweetie". You aren't going to like the continued responses to your posts if you continue to act like a petulant child when people don't agree with you. It is very hard to not be critical of someone who seems to think they know better than their medical provider.
You may wanna take a seat and check yourself.
DD born: 3/31/19
I’ve been having contractions on and off all day. And since I’ve only ever been induced it’s hard for me to differentiate between BH and real ones. I have them whether I’m standing, walking, sitting, or laying on my side. I’ll have a couple that are 5min apart and then they’ll be 20min apart. Also baby is still pretty high so I don’t feel
the need to call yet. Also yes I’ve been drinking water all day and I do have some back pain. Im going to take a shower (baths gross me out lol) and see if that makes a difference
DD born: 3/31/19
@blueberrymomma I'm in the same boat no idea what one feels like. They say BH are painless? Have you lost your plug (can you go into labor without losing it?) If they dont go away when you reposition though id say they're real but what do i know?
@blueberrymomma I have no advice to give, but it probably wouldn't hurt to call anyway, just to be on the safe side. Being neurotic as I am, I most definitely would! Please keep us posted.
@rennie1108 if they increase in frequency and intensity I definitely will call