April 2019 Moms
Kflanders24
member
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Waiting to find out gender (Team Green)
Kflanders24
member
Who here is waiting to find out the gender?
We are!
I thought it might be fun to chat about it and then we can start announcing what we ended up having.
Few questions would be:
1.Best part
2.Worst part
3.Quick back story on why you decided to wait and what you think you are having.
For me-
1:Best part is... its just fun.. its fun to wonder and sometimes i'll try to get the baby to tell me what it is
2:Worst part is calling it... IT... lol. I try to say baby as much as possible but slip up sometimes and its just kinda sad.
3: This is my first baby and I don't know that we will honestly have anymore.I always thought waiting would be fun so I didn't want to miss my chance to do it. I dont have any intuition but just a little bit of a feeling its a boy, my husband is convinced its a girl and so is his daughter (my stepdaughter). His daughter is 13 and her mom just had a baby 6 months ago (her first sibling), I think not knowing the gender has added a little extra fun/anticipation for her and that has been an added perk also.
We are!
I thought it might be fun to chat about it and then we can start announcing what we ended up having.
Few questions would be:
1.Best part
2.Worst part
3.Quick back story on why you decided to wait and what you think you are having.
For me-
1:Best part is... its just fun.. its fun to wonder and sometimes i'll try to get the baby to tell me what it is
2:Worst part is calling it... IT... lol. I try to say baby as much as possible but slip up sometimes and its just kinda sad.
3: This is my first baby and I don't know that we will honestly have anymore.I always thought waiting would be fun so I didn't want to miss my chance to do it. I dont have any intuition but just a little bit of a feeling its a boy, my husband is convinced its a girl and so is his daughter (my stepdaughter). His daughter is 13 and her mom just had a baby 6 months ago (her first sibling), I think not knowing the gender has added a little extra fun/anticipation for her and that has been an added perk also.
Re: Waiting to find out gender (Team Green)
1.Best part: Well, I love surprises, so it's fun for me to not know what to expect. I was 100% convinced that DD was gonna be a boy so I was pretty shocked when DH announced, after some delay, "it's a girl!" (He told me later that the delay was because at first when he saw her he was wondering why the boy part was missing, haha!).
2.Worst part: I'm rather frugal, so it's a pain to not be able to stock up on awesome clearance deals for clothes in advance! We kept DD's clothes, but there's definitely more that I will need to get. Also, I feel like I would be more confident in picking baby's name if I knew we would be using it for sure.
3.Quick back story on why you decided to wait and what you think you are having. DH decided he wanted to wait this time, last time it was my decision and I picked to wait (I actually wanted to find out for this one, haha). For many years I went to a Christian church where most people are from the LGBT community. They got me thinking about how much we tend to stereotype genders instead of taking people as they are. I hoped to let my future kid(s) be who they were without pushing them to fit a certain mold. Since initially we didn't have "girly" clothes or toys for DD it helped me just learn who she was without pushing her toward playing with certain toys. Now she likes balls, cars, dolls, and playing with toddler kitchens. Hoping that I will take the same approach for upcoming baby, who I once again think will be team blue.
1 Best: The surprise was worth it, but my intuition was right all along.
2 Worst: Everyone else having an opinion and asking "you know...I know you know"🤦♀️
3. My labor and birth did not go as planned/expected and I had a really difficult time bonding with my son PP. Part of the reason why we chose to find out this time.
My advice is that even though you *don't know*, you still might have a pretty good idea in your head (or maybe even have your heart set on boy/girl) so don't be surprised if you find yourself a little disappointed and needing some time to wrap your head around that *it* is a boy/girl.
I'm excited for you all to find out! On my last BMB, those were the most anticipated babies!
Married: 6/2016
TTC:6/2016
BFP: 11/22/2016 | EDD: 7/29/2017
1.Best part: I've ALWAYS wanted it to be a surprise. We did IVF and had only 1 genetically normal embryo, so it's even more fun knowing that the doctor couldn't even choose the sex if she wanted to! DH knew for some of his kids and didn't know for others - he left it up to his baby mamas
2.Worst part: 2 things: 1. Picking a name. We can't chose a boy's name at all, but why even stress if we knew it was a girl? 2. People's reactions when I tell them we "don't know what we're having." I mean, we're having a baby, isn't that good enough? I don't know why people get so upset about the fact that we don't know the sex.
3.Quick back story on why you decided to wait and what you think you are having. See above for the first part. Funny enough, I've never wanted a girl, but I think that's what we're having!
@squirttheturtle Oh I am in no way convinced its a boy ha ha I just have an inclining about it. I feel like waiting has made it even easier to fully embrace the possibility of either gender and that was kinda the exact effect I was hoping it would have
@rennie1108 Ya people getting annoyed is pretty fun for me. I have one girlfriend who is so convinced we are just hiding it, which I don't get at all.
1.Best part: Not receiving lots of super pink frilly stuff or sports clothing. Also annoying everyone is a little entertaining.
2.Worst part: picking 2 sets of names. This was worse last time.
3.Quick back story on why you decided to wait and what you think you are having:
We wanted to wait because surprises are fun. Also the world’s going to spend a ton of time telling my babies who and what they should be. It doesn’t have to start before they are born. With DS everyone guessed boy. With this baby the world is guessing girl but more boy votes lately. I’m ok with either. This baby is less kicky and more squirmy than DS.
This is our 3rd time being Team Green. We love the surprise and it drives my sisters crazy so an added bonus, lol!
2.Worst part
Seeing cute baby clothes at the store and not being able to buy them all! It’s saved me sooooo much money though.
3.Quick back story on why you decided to wait and what you think you are having.
1st baby - I didn’t want to know but DH did. He insisted he had to know because he would have too much anxiety not knowing. I told him we either found out together or not at all because he’d accidentally slip by dropping a he or she into our conversations. My argument was that babies use the same stuff so it didn’t matter if we knew boy or girl. He decided since I was doing all the work that we wouldn’t find out.
2nd baby - I said I wanted to find out and DH said he didn’t. I didn’t have a good reason to find out so we didn’t.
3rd baby - why break tradition?
DH and I think it’s a boy
DS1 and DS2 think it’s a girl
We’re a house divided, lol.
1.Best part(s): practical gifts and gender neutral clothing that works as hand me downs for subsequent babies (I do not have the space to store a wardrobe in eight sizes for each sex). Not having to deal with MIL’s aggressively gendered clothing and toys. Picking two names (I really REALLY like knowing my own boy name and kinda want to throw it in the pool for a second boy).
2.Worst part: when medical staff try to report genetic test results without asking if you want to know the sex (answer: I took the genetic test so we could find out early about genetic conditions, not sex).
3.Quick back story on why you decided to wait and what you think you are having.
I’m probably the driving force behind not finding out, because societal expectations/gendering, because I like the two names, because I’m adamant that the planning doesn’t change.
We were team green for DD too, or at least I was. DH was curious and so was allowed to peek so long as he kept it secret from me and the world. He did a very good job of alternating he/she until my water broke and we learned girl micropreemies have better outcomes, at which point he announced it was a girl.
I continue to want the announcement at birth for this one, and since DH hasn’t been to any appts yet (he usually is caring for DD), he hasn’t had an opportunity to snoop in the dr’s records. At this point (35 weeks), he is intensely curious but holding out to birth, when he’ll be looking at the genitalia and making the call. We want a boy (named after FIL while he’s cogent enough to appreciate it), but are fine either way.
1. Best part so far is not having all of the extra questions regarding "oh it's another girl were you hoping for boy" or "you have one of each now that's good." I know that's what people focus on and I'm just happy to be having a healthy baby.
2.Worst part: biggest downside is the two names. We had a boy name right away but struggling for a girl name. It would be nice to know only so we wouldn't have to have two options
3. Back Story: We found out with my first mainly because of my impatience. I wanted a different experience this time just so I can have that surprise at the end of it. I'm really looking forward to being told boy or girl after this baby comes out. I have no guess really, my DH thought boy all the way up until Monday when he said girl because there is now drama involved lol. My mom and MIL both think boy and that's what I'm leaning toward but at the same time I wouldn't be surprised if it were another girl. I wish I had more of an intuition but I have no clue.
2.Worst part - yep, names. We have a girls name, we have a list of 12 for a boy... and I think it’s a boy, so we should narrow that down
3.Quick back story on why you decided to wait and what you think you are having.
I’ve always planned to keep it a surprise. I love surprises and can’t think of a bigger one. Also, I’m surrounded by ultrasound scanners all day and not wanting to ruin the surprise kept me from giving myself unnecessary scans.
1.Best part: It was great not to get a ton of pink tutu's and sports/dinosaur specific things at my shower (that would of course be off-registry too, because people can't help themselves). This being both of our firsts and also the first grandchild on both sides of the family, we were starting from scratch with the baby stuff so it was nice to focus the registry on all the gender neutral baby necessities (stroller, car seat, bottles, play mats, etc.) Plus it's a fun conversation starter and I like to hear everyone's guesses - including their old wives tales from their cultures, families, etc.
2.Worst part: Having to come up with 2 names for sure is difficult - plus middle names so it's really 4 names! The annoyed / inquisitive commentary from strangers about why we didn't find out is also annoying, but also kinda fun. I feel like everyone is still intrigued and interested and will be more excited when the baby finally arrives (as opposed to, "oh, she had her boy"). It's also hard now that I have a friend due in September who just found out what she's having -- and for a fleeting moment I almost felt jealous that her pregnancy was somehow more 'real' than mine!
3.Quick back story on why you decided to wait and what you think you are having. I always knew that I didn't want to find out for baby #1. DH and I both want more kids so eventually i would love the experience of having a son and a daughter, so for the first it's a completely neutral playing field and all we truly want is a healthy boy or girl! DH agreed from the get go. I already know that I think I do want to find out for baby #2 -- I'd want to know if I'm getting rid of some stuff or if I can re-use what I already have. Plus, I think when you have kids that are older it's so fun to do the gender reveal with your kids (and film their reactions....hehe). As for what I THINK i'm having - I felt very strongly that this is a girl since as soon as I took a positive test. I don't know why. But I made myself stop thinking that somewhere along in the second trimester as I don't want to get something so stuck in my head that I'm shocked or disconnected from the baby at the hospital if it's a boy. So I've gotten used to calling it 'IT' or throw in equal parts he / she for good measure.
Getting so close to finding out!!
2.Worst part Having to pick two names. I love our boy name but I’m meh on our girl name. The pressure is on to come up with a great girl name too. The hardest part is knowing that you won’t even use one of them, especially since we are done after this one.
3.Quick back story on why you decided to wait and what you think you are having. DH has always wanted to wait for both of the other kiddos. I couldn’t wait with the first two. I had to know! But now we have one of each the pressure is off. Either sex is fine with us and we are already prepared for either. The only propblem is that I have worked so hard not to assume one sex or the other that I realized either sex will be a shock. I have been thinking about the baby as a sexless being and I have to come to terms with the fact that the baby almost certainly will be either a boy or a girl, lol.