September 2019 Moms

Managing 1st Trimester Anxiety

Hello Fellow September Moms!

I hope everyone is having a good start to their week. 😊 I'm currently 11+1 (FTM) and have so much excitement and anxiety! I had a spotting episode a few weeks ago, and all the tests from the ER showed my baby is doing great. I went for my follow up appointment yesterday, and since the spotting has stopped, there was no ultrasound or anything (boo). Needless to say, I was hoping to see my bumbling lime and anxiety has gone through the roof! I'm also currently off work for a week (doctor's orders), with minimal distraction. This is my first rodeo, and I'm all over the place. What tips do you ladies have for the first trimester anxiety? How did you all get through? I know there will always be a little, but any helpful tips to manage it would be great! 

Thanks for reading!

Re: Managing 1st Trimester Anxiety

  • Find something to distract yourself. Maybe knitting, painting, gardening... Whatever appeals to you. Also avoid Google rabbit holes. They always end with the craziest worst case scenario.
  • JNR6510 said:
    Find something to distract yourself. Maybe knitting, painting, gardening... Whatever appeals to you. Also avoid Google rabbit holes. They always end with the craziest worst case scenario.
    Oy, Google! It's the worst. Thanks for your response. I guess I will dust off my knitting needles. 😊
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  • Have you told family yet? I am starting to tell our family this week/weekend and I find it is already easing the anxiety I have been having around this pregnancy.
    Me: 31 │ DH: 30
    Married 05/26/17
    STM; DS 9/14/2019
    EDD 6/13/2022
  • I agree with @kaceyallan, sharing with some people close to me made me feel a little better. (I think maybe because my closest friends "know me" and thus know "what to say" that will be the most effective in reassuring me?) Also, next time you're at the grocery store or Target or wherever, look around at alllll the cars and alllll the people. I had this moment a few weeks ago where I was like, "Huh, all these people were babies/ fetuses/ blastocysts once, and they made it. Then they grew up and now they're at Target." 😂 Still, nothing compares to the real-time reassurance of an ultrasound (just had my second one this morning at 12w3d and felt this huge sense of relief wash over me when the sonographer happily began pointing out positive signs). I also have a countdown app on my phone that counts the days until my next appointments/ milestones/ due date. Knowing how much time is left means I can count it down, which calms me down / makes me feel more in control. I see the days and think things like "OK, this ultrasound is after 2 big meetings at work, just gotta focus on preparing for those meetings then we check on the baby." The app I use is called DAY DAY, it counts the days but also the days until round number days (for example, my DD is 193 days away, and it tells me in 93 days the countdown will be at "T minus 100." I find a lot of support here in this community. :) You've got this!!
  • Have you told family yet? I am starting to tell our family this week/weekend and I find it is already easing the anxiety I have been having around this pregnancy.
    So far, my Mom is the only family member to know. At this point, I'm sure I'm good, but I'm waiting until the 12th week. Idk why I'm so stuck on it. I'm just a few days away! Lol. I totally agree with you though! Once I'm "able" to tell family, my anxiety should go down because I don't feel so isolated. Thank you very much! Just a few more days 
  • phillyftm said:
    I agree with @kaceyallan, sharing with some people close to me made me feel a little better. (I think maybe because my closest friends "know me" and thus know "what to say" that will be the most effective in reassuring me?) Also, next time you're at the grocery store or Target or wherever, look around at alllll the cars and alllll the people. I had this moment a few weeks ago where I was like, "Huh, all these people were babies/ fetuses/ blastocysts once, and they made it. Then they grew up and now they're at Target." 😂 Still, nothing compares to the real-time reassurance of an ultrasound (just had my second one this morning at 12w3d and felt this huge sense of relief wash over me when the sonographer happily began pointing out positive signs). I also have a countdown app on my phone that counts the days until my next appointments/ milestones/ due date. Knowing how much time is left means I can count it down, which calms me down / makes me feel more in control. I see the days and think things like "OK, this ultrasound is after 2 big meetings at work, just gotta focus on preparing for those meetings then we check on the baby." The app I use is called DAY DAY, it counts the days but also the days until round number days (for example, my DD is 193 days away, and it tells me in 93 days the countdown will be at "T minus 100." I find a lot of support here in this community. :) You've got this!!
    You know..... I never thought about it this way. I actually need to run to Target later, and I will definitely think of this. Lol. The other day, my doctor told me, "You're 25% of the way there." It made me feel good, so your countdown is very helpful. I appreciate your response! This community is awesome, and it's been a HUGE help for me as I keep this big secret. 

    Thank you!
  • Honestly, having a fetal dopper has had a huge impact for me. On days I wake up and feel great.... I check the bb's heartbeat and it's SO relieving. 
  • Honestly, having a fetal dopper has had a huge impact for me. On days I wake up and feel great.... I check the bb's heartbeat and it's SO relieving. 
    Where'd you get yours from? I'll be 12 weeks on Monday, which means I'll be able to actually hear something, right? Lol. That's a wonderful idea, thanks!
  • Honestly, having a fetal dopper has had a huge impact for me. On days I wake up and feel great.... I check the bb's heartbeat and it's SO relieving. 
    Where'd you get yours from? I'll be 12 weeks on Monday, which means I'll be able to actually hear something, right? Lol. That's a wonderful idea, thanks!
    Just a caution, 12 weeks and even up to 18 weeks can cause more anxiety than ease. LO is still super tiny and there are a lot of factors that can cause you to hear or not hear babe. Sometimes you can hear and sometimes you can’t as well. Babe could be turned around, you could have an anterior placenta, bladder full/empty, so on and so on.  If you are someone who is going to have an anxiety attack if you can’t find babe’s heartbeat one time, I would caution against the Doppler. 
    Me: 30   DH:31 
    Married 9/2010
    TTC 10/2013
    RE Help from 10/2014-10/2016 (11 failed IUIs, a corrective surgery, and a donor embryo cycle)
    9/2016-transferred two donor embies
    BFP 9/29/26 EDD June 11
    BabyGaga BabyFruit Ticker
  • Honestly, having a fetal dopper has had a huge impact for me. On days I wake up and feel great.... I check the bb's heartbeat and it's SO relieving. 
    Where'd you get yours from? I'll be 12 weeks on Monday, which means I'll be able to actually hear something, right? Lol. That's a wonderful idea, thanks!
    Just a caution, 12 weeks and even up to 18 weeks can cause more anxiety than ease. LO is still super tiny and there are a lot of factors that can cause you to hear or not hear babe. Sometimes you can hear and sometimes you can’t as well. Babe could be turned around, you could have an anterior placenta, bladder full/empty, so on and so on.  If you are someone who is going to have an anxiety attack if you can’t find babe’s heartbeat one time, I would caution against the Doppler. 
    I am very much a person who would get anxious if I didn't hear a heartbeat. I didn't think it'd be so difficult. Perhaps I should just relax and wait. Oh man! I just knew the doppler would be a great idea. Thank you for sharing your perspective 
  • ae90ae90 member
    Are you having symptoms like nausea or tiredness or whatever? Whenever I get worried I always think about how I'm still feeling nauseous, still tired, whatever and that helps me. But if you're 12 weeks those things might be naturally waning which is also a good thing! :)
  • ae90 said:
    Are you having symptoms like nausea or tiredness or whatever? Whenever I get worried I always think about how I'm still feeling nauseous, still tired, whatever and that helps me. But if you're 12 weeks those things might be naturally waning which is also a good thing! :)
    I'm still getting my cramps, lower back pain, and my hair is getting very......dry. When my breast pain went away, I panicked....but that was at 10 weeks and was reassured it was normal. This is a good way of trying to relax until my next ultrasound! As long as I feel lowsy, all is well. Lol. It's funny how we welcome these things after a while! Thank you very much. This is very, very helpful
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