July 2019 Moms

More funny toddler things

I need a place to share what my kid just did.  Thankfully I didn't take her, or my pregnant self would pee my pants.

DD's (2 y.o.) day care is closed today, so she is with my mom.  My mom took her to the dentist.  On the way in she told my mom the dentist's name is Dr. Fart.  My mom said "I think it's Dr. Chang."  DD said "okay it's Dr. Penis."  My mom redirected her.  She then went into the waiting room and loudly demanded to see "Dr. Butt."

I know I need to talk with her about appropriate language.  But she is too funny.

Re: More funny toddler things

  • I’m an FTM, so this is about my 5 year old niece: she thinks there’s a baby growing in my bladder. It’s too hilarious to correct.
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  • @pizzaplz When I got home from work today DD's first words to me were "Mama, why is your belly so huge? How much did you have to eat today?"

    For the record I have told her the truth but she has forbidden me from "growing a baby in your tummy....we can only bring home a baby that is lost and needs a family" so she prefers to blame my aparently out of control eating habits for the size of my belly:/
  • My 2 year old told me yesterday he needed a shower because his nipples were dirty, absolutely no filter lol
  • Not even an hour ago DD (3) bumped her head on the railing because she was distracted and not watching where she was walking so she was sitting on my lap kind of whine crying (more for attention than actual pain) and H says “how did that feel?” jokingly and stone faced she looks at him and says “daddy I can’t talk right now I’m crying” 
  • These stories are killing me:)

    @mrscammack When DD was around 2 she put a towel over her head and face and ran face first into the wall. I couldn't stop laughing.
  • @Panaceia it’s so hard not to laugh at them! 
  • These are amazing! 
  • My 2 yo followed me into the bathroom as I went to go poop. She patted me on the leg and said "good girl" and gave me a look of encouragement. (We are obviously working on potty training).
  • @strickland8052 so in my Facebook memories a couple days ago was a memory from about 8 years ago - I went to the bathroom and my then 3yr old (now 11 yr old) son followed me in and said "Yay! Mommy potty! Here you candy mommy!" and gave me a piece of his potty candy.  :) Still warms my heart!
  • My husband reminded me of the greatest one.  My daughter (2 y.o.) is really trying to figure out the differences between boys and girls.  She goes to a wonderful school where boys take ballet and girls are in STEM, so as far as she is concerned, the only difference is genitals. 

    We were in Disney two weeks ago.  My husband took her to the men's room to change her diaper.  She stood up on the changing table and announced "Everyone in here has a penis."  He was at a loss for words.
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