Dreams/ premonitions and birth fears/ random thoughts

zencats

It seems like this group has mainly been focused on how the babies are doing and the physical side to our pregnancies, and of course that’s all very important, but I would really like to start a discussion where we can post what we’re thinking/ feeling/ scared about during this last month (a little late, I know).  I have so many thoughts racing through my head constantly and it feels good to get them out from time to time, especially with people going through the same, crazy, major life event!

disneybaby84

@zencats the past 8 months we have had a weekly thread called Ask a Second Time Mom, where first time moms could ask any questions to women who have already give biirth once.  Have you ever participated in any of these discussions?

nataliezbrungart

@zencats I’ve started to think about what if they got the babies gender wrong? What if we don’t make it to the hospital during labor? Do I have enough clothing, diapers, supplies etc.? I think all kinds of silly things all day everyday, but I always remind myself that one LO is here I can always ask people to stop at the store. If the gender is wrong, who cares. And while I don’t want to deliver anywhere but the hospital, if I do I’m sure I’ll survive.

zencats

@disneybaby84 I believe I did see that thread once, but I haven’t seen anyone post on it in a while I don’t think. I just felt like starting a discussion based more on mental health for us mothers, rather than just labor fears. This one is for more fears in general and maybe dreams that we have as well as just other random thoughts or thoughts about our mental health like depression and anxiety which I struggle with. 

zencats

@nataliezbrungart I had that anxiety about the baby’s gender as well, but at the ultrasound we’ve had since, they’ve said something about how proud he was to show that he was a boy, so that thought has since dissipated lol. And you’re right it wouldn’t really be a big deal. I’ve also worried about not making it to the hospital for whatever reason which is really unlikely, but I see that it can happen, and it seems like mom and baby are always fine, even if the birth happens in a car lol. I just don’t know what you would do in that situation, do you cut the umbilical cord immediately or can you wait until you get to the hospital? And what about the placenta?? I also worry about the traffic that we’d have to get through to get to the hospital or if an accident happens because of how anxious whoever is driving me there might be 🙄

sjnsjnsjn

@disneybaby84 Also sounds like the weekly “mental health check-in” thread that went until about a week after the migration to PG! That was always very worthwhile!

bellebaby221

My biggest concern is making my kids feel ok about me having surgery. The twins are old enough to get scared that something will happen to me so I try to make them comfortable with everything. My first c/s was no big deal to me but once I had other tiny humans depending on me the anxiety went up a little. 

sonicearplugs

I've been concerned ever since I found out I was pregnant that this baby will be born during a blizzard, especiallysince it's only really been cold for the last couple of weeks and I live in an area that gets smashed by lake effect snow. Usually the lakes are somewhat frozen by now so there's less worry. Four years ago this house saw 7 feet of snow over the course of 2 days. It can happen!

sjnsjnsjn

@sonicearplugs I hear that and have had that worry too. I’m in Chicago and we’re getting snow just about every day. Next week we are having a polar vortex while I am 38 weeks and a STM.  That would not be ideal!
ETA: especially because the grandparents need to get here from St. Louis if this goes down pre induction date!

zencats

@bellebaby221 That’s very reasonable since surgery is always scary no matter what kind it is! I would just reassure them by reminding them that you’ve done it before and everything went well. That’s so sweet how they’re worrying for you!

@sonicearplugs A blizzard is a frightening thought for sure when you’re this pregnant. I’m sure even if you had to go into labor and deliver the baby at home, everything would be fine. Women’s bodies also usually know to wait if it’s not the right time to go into labor as well. Our bodies are very intuitive if we just listen!

zencats

One of my biggest worries right now is whether or not I’m going to be right for motherhood. I know even if I struggle with it I still won’t be the worst mother because I’m not a drug addict or an alcoholic, but I still worry about how my ways will affect him and if I’ll pass on any bad habits just through my behavior. A few years ago I was just a sad little college girl going through a lot of anxiety and depression, and I had never even kissed a boy. Then I met my boyfriend and a few years later I’m having my first child, it’s crazy to me!! Last year I had an abortion, partly because both my mom and boyfriend thought I wasn’t ready for motherhood and that got to me. I regretted it immediately and it’s still a huge pain/regret in my heart. But my boyfriend promised me after that that if I got pregnant again that we would keep it and he kept his promise but I’m still doubting myself even with this baby a few weeks away. I was 21 when I got pregnant the first time and 22 the second time. It worries me that I’m still so young and have so much more maturing to do while I raise another human being as well.

potofgolden

Well today officially blows 36 weeks and 6 days and I got laid off. Woah! I’m now more stressed than I was before, I’m sure my bp is through the roof. Fortunately they gave me a 4 week severance package, which covers me until a week after my due date. (This probably includes my remaining 9 days of PTO I earned) great! I have no idea how my health insurance will work or if I’ll get any of my STD. I planned to work up until my due date and only take six weeks or 8 weeks (depending on delivery), because of finances. Now I feel like I need to be job hunting instead of prepping for baby! 😫

I should have seen this coming, they have been over hiring ever since I told them I was pregnant. They assured everyone our jobs were safe, but I knew when I came back there was not going to be enough work. My maternity leave is during our busy season. A
month ago they had me move offices and told me to take most of my stuff home, so my personal stuff would not be out if someone else needed to use my office. I mentioned not having a pumping room and it was shrugged off. I work in a small office so FMLA does not apply.

Thanks for letting me vent.

kenishi

Oh my goodness @oftcfo I am SO sorry to hear this!!! That kind of stress is definitely not what you need!! Thinking of you! 

nataliezbrungart

@oftcfo I’m so sorry that you have to deal with this. Can you file for unemployment to supplement your income until you’re ready to go back to work? Also look into healthcare.gov for insurance. I know this is stressful, but try to deal with one thing at a time. 

potofgolden

Thank you @kenishi and @nataliezbrungart I am going to try and file with unemployment, I’m not sure how it all will work since you are supposed to be actively looking for a job while on it. Or how it might work if by chance I can still get my STD benefits. My STD was not like a normal policy, but like an Aflac type.