Biggest Delivery Fears — The Bump
June 2019 Moms

Biggest Delivery Fears

So I personally have a bunch, but I wanted to see what everyone else has about fears about delivery and if we can give out any advice! Go!

Re: Biggest Delivery Fears

  • @anarose253 this will be a good thread to follow! Bump bump.

    One of mine: This is such an American first world problem, but I’m afraid of being treated by someone (during delivery) who isn’t in-network with my insurance - and out of network costs are CRAZY high for my plan compared to in-network. 

    Though I’ll be an INN hospital I could technically get treated by a doc/specialist that’s actually OON and I’m terrified of the 40K bill that could entail. 

    I told my partner that im going to wear a shirt with my insurance info on it that says “only touch me if you’re IN network with...”

    This is one of my lesser worries (of course healthy baby is first and foremost) but I’d be lying if I didn’t mention the financial worry this whole process has brought up.
  • I feel you there @raemy12345! In Australia you have the option of going private or public. Public system means you have no choice in doctors you see through your pregnancy (and potentially see a different one every visit) and could share a room with up to 3 others depending on how busy the hospital is at the time, BUT it’s free. Private means you get your choice of OB, hospital and a private room, but unfortunately depending on which doctors you go with and which are rostered on to work in the hospital at the time it can cost a fortune! Lots of them have “gap cover schemes” with insurance companies (my recent oophorectomy cost me nothing) but more don’t. Whilst you get to choose your OB going privately you don’t get a choice in paediatric or anaesthetic care providers whilst in hospital, so it could cost anywhere from $500 to $10,000 to have a basic delivery and neonatal cafe depending on the fees they charge, with more significant costs incurred the longer the stay and more complex the case. Also, most private hospitals don’t have a very high level of neonatal care so if your baby needs any emergency medical treatment they will be taken to the closest public hospital and you’ll be left in the private. Perhaps I could go with your idea of wearing a tshirt that says “don’t touch me unless you have gap cover with X insurance” too!

    My fear is having to have a C section and the recovery that’s involved, especially the loss of independence around driving as where we’ll be living is 25 minutes from town with no public transport, and the fact that my partner won't be able to get any time off work so I'll have to care for this baby whilst recovering from the C section all by myself.
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  • Fear- delivering too early. I've been warned it's likely to happen (high risk). Also worried about unplanned C Section and the epidural that's involved (probably a bit silly). 
  • I'm going natural because of my intense fear of needless. My midwife is ok with me not having an IV....*unless* I test positive for streptococcus, which I'd need an IV for antibiotics throughout the labor process. I don't think I'd be able to focus on anything except the IV in my hand and how freaked out I'd get. 
  • @holyboobsbatman I had my son early so I had to have to dose of antibiotics because I didn't have a chance to get tested before I was induced. I think its only one massive dose. I'd ask if needed could you get the meds then have them remove the port.
  • Preeclampsia and hemorrhaging are my top two fears. I can roll with a c-section if needed. I'd greatly prefer not to go med-free, so I guess you could say I'm afraid of the pain but as a distant second to pre-e and losing blood.
  • @dntstpbelieveing thanks for the advice! I'm sorry that happened to you - how is your son doing now?
  • Honestly having a c-section
  • This is my second time around, so I feel like I'm a little but more fearless about delivery this time. Although, last time I had a rough pregnancy and a relatively easy delivery...and this time around my pregnancy has been much easier, so I hope that doesn't mean a rougher delivery!  

    This time, I'm more concerned about the financial side of things during my maternity leave and finding a nanny for when I go back to work.  Last time, I was married and I was able to be a SAHM for the first two years of my son's life. Now, I'm divorced and although my boyfriend and I both work, I have the higher income. Sooooo....still working on that. Plus, I'm not looking forward to having to leave the baby when I go back :(
  • @holyboobsbatman he is great. We were very lucky that I had warning signs of the pree and was able to get the lung shot in before my induction. He was only a few weeks early so he did well.
  • besides the obvious fears, i just don't want what happened with my first to repeat. Waking up at 1am with contractions, then water breaking, fast forward 18 hours later, only dilated 8cm, and wouldn't go any further. pitocin didn't work on me, then the cord wraps around her neck, and doctors say it has to be a c-section. This time around, it's going to be a planned c-section. 
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  • I mean my biggest fear is something happening to the baby or me. 

    Second is going early and not having anyone to watch DS.

    Emergency C section is also a big fear.

    Smaller fears are tearing and long labor.

  • I don’t have any real specific fears this pregnancy. But I do hope it’s easier and shorter than with my daughter, 23hrs was too much! 
  • Pre-eclampsia and delivering before 32 weeks - the two hospitals my OB has privledges at only have level II NICU, so I’ve been told to go L&D at the closest level III if anything happens (thankfully there is one 3 miles from my house.)
     I’ve been taking baby aspirin since 12 weeks to help reduce Pre-E risks (my MFM put me on it.)

    Other fears: that is that he will get stuck or go in distress and I’ll have to have an emergency c-section; that I’ll hemorrhage; that if I have a c-section my wound will get infected - I’m a big girl and I’m afraid of weight related complications; i know it sounds silly but I’m afraid of having a catheter inserted, and also of spinal headache after epidural. The hospital sent me an online education course to watch with all the risks involved for everything and I’ve been losing my shit a little ever since I watched it 🙁
  •  I'm pretty worried about preterm labor. Both of my previous pregnancies had to have labor stopped, the earliest was at 29 weeks. I'm always afraid it won't stop and I'll deliver really early. 
  • Likely our last baby. Fears about how I'll feel when baby's finally here. Wonderful but in a way bittersweet. 
  • I’m scared of the possibility of getting a csection if labor doesn’t progress (I’m doing a natural birth) also scared about labor in general and how painful it may be
  • Planning on having a natural birth and I'm really scared of the baby's head coming out. I've read it's called the ring of fire and I'm really scared I won't be able to push past the pain.
  • @stormcloud0719 my friend had a natural birth and said the "ring of fire" lasted only 2 minutes. I'm trying to keep positive!
  • I am due for a scheduled c section due to medical reasons, I had an emergency c section with my first baby. But I'm still scared...I was terrified during the c section until I heard my baby crying then I totally forgot what was going on and was just so excited to see her. I'm sure this time will be the same, but I'm still nervous of the surgery and of the recovery pain/restrictions that follow. Especially now that I will have a newborn and a toddler. I also got the most horrible shakes after my first c section and I really don't want that was horrible so I hope I don't get that same reaction
  • wisehwiseh member
    Oh god I’ve never heard of the ring of fire! That sounds horrendous! I’m dreading all parts of the birth but hoping after my hypnobirthing class this weekend I might be in a better mind frame for it.

    Oh damn @BlondePeanut! Do you have lots of family support around you to help in the first few weeks after? 
  • @wiseh Thankfully yes. DH is a SAHD right now so he will be home 24/7 and his dad is retired so I am sure he will linger around too lol

  • wisehwiseh member
    Oh I’m so glad for you @BlondePeanut! Having my cystectomy earlier was enough for me to realise that it definitely takes a village, especially when you’re recovering from abdominal surgery!
  • I’m worried about a whole slew of things but mainly the whole childbirth process and the pains. I know everyone’s pain tolerance is different but hearing stories from friends and family, I’ve been kinda off put on the whole thing. I am going for a natural birth but there is a chance that I may have to get a c section. I won’t know til the next ultrasound I get around 32 weeks. Also being the first pregnancy I have I’ve got all other sorts of worries like will baby be okay, etc. Having Beta thal my OB was telling me that I probably will need an infusion as well because my hemoglobin is already low as is. 
  • This is number three for us and the first two deliveries were sooo different!  
    1: induction at 41 weeks started on a Monday didn’t deliver until Thursday and pushed for 4+ hours
    2: water broke (wasn’t sure) middle of the night the day before due date. Delivered dd about 12 hours later with no meds

    Both of the girls had zero signs of labor or any BH contractions. Dd1 no contractions until pitocin. Dd2 only contractions after water broke.

    This little dude has gifted me with BH since about 22 weeks and so much pressure and cramping. I fear the unknowns of what this labor will be like. All these contractions also gives me anxiety about going early and I’m due 2 days after school gets out. I’m not sure how the heck to write end of the year kindergarten sub plans!
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  • @BlondePeanut glad you will have help. DH is a SAHD for myself as well so it's nice to not have to worry about who will be around if recovery is difficult.  Likely a c/s for me for #3. I had less shakes because I asked for the bare minimum for the epidural and none of the "meds that make you forget" which I think might be benzos? Not sure.  They gave me 50% of what they usually do, and I didn't feel anything except pressure and didn't have the shakes like I did with #1 (was way overmedicated).  Maybe reach out to anesthesiology and ask ahead of time?

  • @jbm925 Thank you. I will be mentioning it for sure. I'm wondering if the shakes from my first were because it was an emergency section after 24 hours on pitocin so I had IV meds and then the epidural for  the actual c section. 

  • wisehwiseh member
    @ami500 I've just done my birthing class and also started a hypnobirthing course and the one thing that has been talked about constantly is "you have what you imagine" so if you constantly think you're going to have a super painful labour and childbirthing experience then you're more likely to have that experience. We've watched at least 20 birthing videos over the last 2 days and I'm amazed at how calm these women are!! Makes me feel so empowered to have a calm birth myself. They also really focus on c sections and inductions being normal and the process doesn't have to be traumatic if you're well informed of all the possible options. They also encouraged us to have multiple birth plans; one for the your ideal birth, one for "failure to progress" and one for c sections, saying that care providers will push to medically intervene if you don't have your wishes outlined in advance. Have you done any birthing classes yet?
  • @wiseh Haven’t done any classes. I tried looking them up in the area and they don't offer anything for my timeframe. Much like my hematologist, I have to take time off work to see him. I have been trying to limit the amount of days I take off because I’m still trying to save up for when I take my leave since I don’t have paid maternity. Fiancé is trying to help with the saving but since he’s got child support and child care for his first that it’s just going really slow. I am looking up videos and asking friends that have gone through labor, tried hypnobirthing and done c sections. 
  • wisehwiseh member
    Oh no that sucks @ami500! Hypnobirthing Australia has an online course you can do but I don’t know if it’ll be relevant to you because the American medical system is so different and I don’t know how much it talks about the actual hospital process. Might be worth seeing if there’s any courses you can do online as well (I’m sure you’ve looked!)

    Maybe try reading up on all the possible interventions so you know what they are when doctors talk to you about them and your rights around not going with them if that’s not what you want? I.e if labour for you has “stalled“ but baby isn’t stressed could you try to wait it out? All your pain relief options and the side effects - do they cross the placenta and will they effect baby enough to impede breast feeding if that’s what you want to do. 
  • @BlondePeanut definitely worth asking. I hated the shakes and the aloof feeling from all the meds. #2 was so much better with better dosing. shakes are a known side effect of the epi, especially if higher doses.

    @wiseh @ami500 I second the idea of positive visualization BUT I did not have the first birth I envisioned and was under prepared for alternatives. Definitely get organized for at least a few different outcomes and if the unexpected happens my only advice is imagine that sweet baby in your arms at the end and let the rest go.  I missed some moments because I wanted to "do everything perfect" and I won't make that mistake again. :smile:
  • wisehwiseh member
    Yeah that’s it @jbm925! The course I did really focused on doing as much research as you can, making sure you know all the interventions and when they are actually medically necessary.

    My new fear is now that I won’t be able to breathe properly! I’ve developed quite severe inflammation where my rib cage joins my spine that hurts when I breathe, lean forward, put my arms above my head, etc. I’ve not been able to do any belly breathing and get into any birthing positions that isn’t lying flat on my back 😭 hoping that once this babe has dropped into my pelvis the pain will go away or at least lessen somewhat. 
  • @wiseh with my first especially, my water broke and baby dropped and suddenly I could breathe and move. I felt great when labor started. Baby will more :-)
  • wisehwiseh member
    That is reassuring @jbm925. Thank you!
  • I don't have too many fears....kind of going in with a blank canvas. 
    I am afraid of being in labour and not progressing ie. Not dilating. 
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