July 2019 Moms

Re: FFFC - 1/11

  • I'll start this off tame-like. 

    I've never eaten Taco Bell or Chik-fil-A and never will. 
  • @mamanbebe, no taco bell??? I personally find chik-fil-a inferior to Wendy's, which is probably better for the UO thread, but I LOVE taco bell. 

    My FFFC is that my husband is working from home today, and I am pretending to be really busy with work so I don't have to help with laundry.  I have done all the laundry for the last month, and he just needs to step it up and help out. 
    Momma to Amelia Marie (7/14) and Austin Samuel (11/17). Adding baby (girl) #3 on 7/21  <3
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  • @ameliabedelia-2 We did not have Taco Bell near us when I was growing up, otherwise I might have tried it at some point. Later I was vegetarian from 15 until 26 and beyond that I just don't eat fast food. I'm sure it tastes good, just like McDonalds tastes good, but I won't eat it.  
  • @nopegoat I agree.  Well sort of.  I think there need to be fewer barriers to college.  I also think the outside of classroom knowledge that comes from college is invaluable.  I do believe that waiting is probably a better option for most people.  I did pretty crappy in undergrad.  I was immature.  I left grad school with a 4.0.  I was about seven years into my career and I understood the value of the education a lot more.  I would not object to my kids taking a few years off and working and learning the value of education.  
  • @nopegoat and @ketomommy I feel this way too. If my kids want to go to college, I want it to be on their own volition to get there for self-enrichment. I did not finish school, partly because of pressure from my parents to go where they went and decide on a career before I even started.. I had no motivation and was depressed about the whole experience. BUT after I stopped, I was able to build a really successful career out of nothing but hard work and dedication to personal growth. I'll support my kids no matter what they choose, but I know from first-hand experience that you can succeed without a college degree. 
  • @nopegoat, completely agree.  I think some people are more suited for trade school or the military. I do wish there was more education in high school about career paths, market salary, school loan debt, etc. Too many kids choose an expensive path to a low paying career.  I know someone who has $100K in school loans and makes $45K as a teacher. Not saying there is anything wrong with that, but at least educate our kids on the reality of the situation when they graduate and have to think about how those loans will be paid. 
    Momma to Amelia Marie (7/14) and Austin Samuel (11/17). Adding baby (girl) #3 on 7/21  <3
  • nopegoatnopegoat member
    edited January 2019
    I went to college because it is what I was expected to do. I hated it but was pretty dang good at it. Then I got KU with my 1st a year before I was suppose to graduate. I was able to graduate 6mos behind my normal schedule with 3 degrees but afterwards I had a terrible time trying to find work that would actually pay me more starting off than I would be paying in childcare and student loans. 

    H found a job with no college degree that paid him to literally travel the world and allowed me to be a sahm. 

    ETA and I wish opportunities like what my H had were more advertised and known so young people could make these type of decisions better. But my H also works super hard physically and mentally so it's not a walk in the park either which also turns people off too. 


    Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader.
    , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
  • @nopegoat, what does your husband do?
    Momma to Amelia Marie (7/14) and Austin Samuel (11/17). Adding baby (girl) #3 on 7/21  <3
  • nopegoatnopegoat member
    edited January 2019
    @ameliabedelia-2 he is a lifeboat and davit engineer but is making the transition to marine fire safety manager. His company inspects, licenses, repairs, and replaces life saving devices on oil rigs and ships. 
     

    ETA: just a few fun facts, one of his bosses were doing the lifeboat inspections on the Deepwater Horizon a few weeks before the explosion. He took the time to educate the crew about how to use the lifeboats and was credited by the ship owners for saving many lives. He has a signed picture thanking him hanging in his office. 

    His company was also the one that provided the lifeboat and taught them to use it on the movie Captain Philips. 

    Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader.
    , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
  • @foodislove your profile name was obviously NO indication of that. LOL. And who the F takes an hour to make SPAGHETTI? Since you are Persian, I totally get where you are coming from. I grew up eating mostly Indonesian foods, so I just give major side-eye to a lot of SAD foods. Like, Mac and cheese is not exciting. I'm a decent cook and an excellent baker. 
    We subscribe to Blue Apron for our dinners and I absolutely love it. I've learned SO much about cooking that I never really understood before. Like, now I can deglaze a pan and make you a brown butter sauce like a pro... without even thinking about it. So, if there is anyone out there who wants to work on their cooking skills or expanding their flavor profiles, I highly recommend Blue Apron. Also, I used to burn things a lot before because I was bad at pacing, I learned that a lot better with BA as well! 
  • @foodislove H and I are kind of food snobs too. H probably more so than I. We just like good food and all sorts of it. Fresh ingredients and minimal processing are our main thing and we are constantly trying to make things better and better. I hate eating the same blah ole thing over and over and in the south that's exactly what you get.

    I love when H travels to a new place and brings back new ideas for us to try. 

    Pregnancy aversion are killing me because of this. 
    Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader.
    , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
  • More of an UO maybe, but I don’t think you should be able to hold your child back a year just because you don’t want them to be the youngest in the class. If your child’s teachers express concern about it, then yes, but not just because. 

    My son, and this new baby will both be the youngest in their classes because of summer birthdays. That might be a disadvantage, but it’s even more of a disadvantage when parents wait a year to send their kid just so they won’t be the youngest. Now my kid who is already young, will seem even younger because there will be kids in his class who will be turning 7 before the school year ends when he will have just turned 5. 

    I wish there was an actual system in place patents could use to determine whether their child is ready or not, academically and socially.  I think some kids definitely benefit from waiting a year, but I don’t think the decision should be left solely to the parents. 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • @foodislove my MIL is a terrible cook, but I know it would hurt DH's feelings if I told him. He brags to people how I "got him to like" certain foods, but I think the case really is that my MIL has no idea how to prepare them. Somehow she makes "yogurt-marinated chicken" that's drier than sawdust and served DH canned boiled potatoes when he was a kid.
    Oh, and one time his aunt made a mayo-based pasta salad and proudly declared that "the secret is you dilute the mayonnaise with skim milk and pickle juice." :confounded:
  • @hakele I'm so glad someone gets this! I feel awful, but if you don't put salt in your food, it better be because your doctor told you to watch your sodium intake. And I hate American-style bechamel mac'n'cheese. That stuff is just so... bland and overly creamy. We did HelloFresh for awhile, until I was running out of time/energy to cook before the ingredients went bad. I learned a lot of new recipes! Moving has helped and so has the Instant Pot (see, I can be lazy and still turn out good food!). 

    @nopegoat My MIL cooks that southern way you describe, and it drives me bonkers. Christmas dinner this year was turkey (no gravy!), mashed taters, and some greenbeans. That was it. Like, NO, you need rolls, and at least two sauces for a holiday, and some kind of carby/cheesy dish, and sigh. I'm so sorry your aversions mean less delicious international dishes right now. :(
  • @foodislove my MIL gloats about this rotel chicken spaghetti she makes. It's not bad but you can really taste all the canned crap she puts in it. We made it with all fresh stuff and it was amazing!! His mom wouldn't even try it and was totally pissed that we "ruined" her recipe. 🙄🙄

    H just came home with some fresh smoked bacon, Canadian bacon, and smoked salmon that a friend in Canada made. I can't eat any of it because of aversions and smell. I totally cried. 
    Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader.
    , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
  • @nolemomma14 I have 2 school age kids with summer bdays and so many people were up in arms over whether to send or hold their kids back. It never even occurred to me to not send them TBH.

    4 out of 5 of my kids have/will have summer birthdays. The other one has a late birthday and it sucks he'll have to wait an extra year before he can go.
    Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader.
    , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
  • My In-laws are both terrible cooks. My father in law gloats about his Tomato Sauce. And I've had better jars of Ragu. My MIL makes a lasagna that is inedible. 

    Thankfully, my husband is an incredible cook. My FIL tries to take all the credit, and I just roll my eyes. 

    My FFF is that I hate when people mispronounce words in other languages when they claim to know that language. Like. I just want to punch Giada di Laurentis in the face every time she says spaghetti. Lady, no one in Italy says it like that. OK. Maybe it is mostly with Italian. 
  • @nolemomma14 I was the youngest girl in my grade. I was in the gifted/talented program, so if I had been held back, the school probably would have pushed me a year ahead anyway. I definitely experienced social struggles from being the youngest--a lot of kids were ahead of me in size and maturity, plus I was exposed to things a little earlier than usual. It also sucked when all of my friends were learning to drive or going clubbing and I wasn't old enough yet. But I think it helped me more than it hurt. Being the youngest is tough, but you learn to be tougher :)
  • hakelehakele member
    edited January 2019
    @hestia14 and @nolemomma14 I'm a mid-Sept baby, so I was always among the very youngest in my class. I agree completely that being the youngest was a huge social challenge for me. 
    I was introducing myself in my freshman bio class in college and I was like, "Hi, I'm 17."  

    Edited to add, they say the being younger challenge is harder on males. 
  • This is a FFFC and a UO (in many circles) I will secretly judge and side any and all homeschoolers. I am friends with one family that HAS to homeschool all of the kids because 2 have deadly chronic genetic illnesses. Can be treated, but the exposure to the festering swamp of germs that is a school would be life threatening for these kiddos. If you have a reason like that to home-school I get it. 

    If you have ANY OTHER "REASON" to home-school, I am totally judging you. 
  • I would totally homeschool if I had any patience for it. I can see the justification in it, given that not all kids flourish in a traditional learning environment. I'm also terrified of school shootings and don't think anything is going to change there so long as we live in a society that promotes toxic masculinity. 
  • @indulgentgypsy, why do you judge it? Just wondering. I only know one person who has done it with their kids. Actually, she did it with all 6 of her kids up until high school. Completely not my cup of tea, but her kids seem really bright and had no issues moving into/succeeding in their new high school. 
    Momma to Amelia Marie (7/14) and Austin Samuel (11/17). Adding baby (girl) #3 on 7/21  <3
  • nopegoatnopegoat member
    edited January 2019
    @indulgentgypsy I have thought about homeschooling because I am not a fan of all the standardize testing kids have to do these days and I feel like teachers are made to focus on that because of funding and scores. I wish they were able to focus more on real world skills, especially in the later years of high school. 

    BUT, HUGE but, I definitely don't feel like I am qualified to do what teachers do and most definitely don't have the patience. Plus I know I could never provide the whole social aspect that schools do, even through extra curricular activities and so forth because I am a huge introvert. I'd rather take the time after school or the weekends and teach them more of the real world stuff on my own. This is also one of the many reasons we try to homestead. 

    ETA not going to lie, we had a school shooting about 10 miles from my house a little while back (in another school district but too close to home) and I was ready to pull my kids that day! I was absolutely terrified. But these days it could literally happen anywhere so.... 
    Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader.
    , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
  • @ameliabedelia-2 I judge because I get the damaged kids. I have so many kids that are below, behind, and hate everything about school because of how far behind they are. Every single one of those kids was home schooled. I teach 8th graders reading at a 2nd grade level, that were pulled out and homeschooled from 2nd grade until 7th grade. All of sudden they have a learning disability. 

    Beyond that I judge the "anyone can teach" attitude. I am certified in SPED, History, and Childhood Education (elementary school) and I would not homeschool my kids because I know that I do not know everything. I know of 1 family that has a legitimate need to homeschool. 

    I also judge the "schools are so unsafe" rhetoric. Yes, they are. Homeschooling is not the solution. Arming teachers is not the solution. Changes to gun laws and mental health screenings and bullying is the solution.  

    And I judge the "traditional schools" argument. So very very much has changed in education since any of us were in school (more would change if school districts actual got proper levels of funding but that is a whole different argument). Teachers have to take continuing education classes and update their practices almost every year. We get judged and graded, we get fired or demoted if our kids don't do well. Very few district have "tenure" anymore. We do hands on projects, and current events, and use technology, and find every little thing we can find to enhance and engage our students. We do our best to make school fun and valuable. We bend over backwards to make a difference in the lives of our kids. We pour our hearts out with the stress and the worry. We come to work with low pay, no contracts, no tenure, no idea if our job will be funded from one year to the next. We take classes and classes and more classes, we work second and third jobs during the summer and the school year - I was working a second job waiting tables 4 days a week to help make ends meet right up until I got pregnant. We do all of this and more, and get up and come back and do it again. And to imagine that homeschool provides the same level of dedication and education to students, demeans the work we do. 
  • @indulgentgypsy, thanks for the explanation. Like I said, it's totally not my cup of tea, and I don't know how any mother can handle THAT much time with their kid (like don't they need a break??). And I agree that most people aren't qualified to homeschool.  I do feel though, it's a decision that rests with the family, as much as I might not agree with the reasoning or qualifications of the parents. 
    Momma to Amelia Marie (7/14) and Austin Samuel (11/17). Adding baby (girl) #3 on 7/21  <3
  • @indulgentgypsy I don't doubt that teachers work very hard and that education is different from when we were children. It's a very challenging job that requires a set of skills and dedication that most people are not equipped with. I think teachers are great and that is completely separate from my opinion. 

    But traditional learning environments are not right for all children. Not all children can learn at the same pace, are developmentally ready to learn the same things at the same time or can sit still in a chair for hours, often with little or no recess. I appreciate much about public schools, because I had the privilege of going to good schools with great teachers. But my son is not me and has his own unique challenges, so I make decisions based off of what is best for him, which will probably be a local charter school if we can lottery into one. Currently he goes to a Montessori school and that has been a wonderfully nurturing experience for him.

    As far as homeschooling, I've known some amazing homeschool families that have very socially involved kids + there is so much supplemental learning setup for kids that offer both additional and more expansive learning options and a social setting for kids who are homeschool, and it's great that that is available to families. I just think that homeschool is so different than it used to be and that the stigma that is attached to it is out of date. There definitely isn't a lack of kids going to public, so I honestly don't see the big deal in such a small portion of families who choose to take on the task themselves. 

  • In the homesteading groups I'm in tons of people push homeschooling and after looking through their profile and posts it scares the shit out of me that these people are teaching their kids. 

    On the other hand I do have a few friends that are homeschooling and seem to be doing really well and thriving. One went  the co-op route the other doing one more catered to their enthic background and history. 

    I think it can be done successfully but definitely isn't for everyone. 

    Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader.
    , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
  • I personally would never homeschool, and I do agree that some are not qualified to do it, but I do think it can be done well, and kids can achieve at the same or higher levels as public or private schools. 

    My husbands cousin homeschools her 3 kids. One is about to graduate and he is a very well rounded kid. There’s so many ways to homeschool now. It’s definitely not just sitting st home with your kids all day and handing them worksheets, etc. There are co-ops you can join to supplement subjects, and once they are older they can dual enroll in community colleges. 

    While I’m not a fan of all of the standardized testing involved in schools these days, and the lack of physical activity and not funding programs such as music and art, I also think a huge part of a child’s education is their home life. I think kids can go to the best schools out there, but if the parents don’t take the time to be a part of their kids education, it might not make that much of a difference.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • @hestia14 my MIL is also a horrible cook, her meat is so dry, her lasagna is watery and almost everything is over cooked. I’m glad that now that I’m pregnant I have an excuse not to eat her cooking lol I just tell her my nausea is acting up again 
  • @mrscammack yes! I’m gonna pull this card, too. And already have for a couple things, like my FILs pasta sauce... oh, I have had heartburn. Sorry. 😉 
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