TTC after a MMC

stephalee1004

Hi there! I am new to the community and was looking for some advice. My husband and I went through a loss recently. We were finally ready to start trying for a baby this past August. I was pregnant by September and we were so excited. Everything seemed to be going great until we went to the doctor at 10 weeks for an ultrasound. The baby had no heartbeat (I was at 10 weeks the baby measured around 8 weeks). I was devastated. I had to option to let everything pass on its own which I was told could take a few weeks or have a D&C. I opted for the D&C and had the procedure two days later. I don't think I would have been strong enough to go through a miscarriage at home. I have gone through so many emotions in the last two months and keep going through my head wondering what i did wrong or how I could have done things different. I am still getting used to the idea of not being pregnant. 

My doctor and I talked about when it would be best to start trying again at my post op visit. He told me i should wait two normal cycles for dating purposes and to get myself together mentally. We are about to hit that ovulation cycle and to be honest I am terrified to try again. I don't know that I am strong enough to go through another mc if that is what happens. I am just looking for some advice or words of wisdom from you wonderful ladies. I don't really know anyone personally who has gone through a loss like this so I feel like I have no one to talk to about the situation.

ruby696

@stephalee1004 I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had three missed miscarriages. They don't get any easier, but I feel like the first is the worst because you're blindsided, and you lose the innocence and joy you had in the first pregnancy. Fear and anxiety after a loss are completely normal and will likely continue throughout a healthy pregnancy. The good news is that most women go on to have healthy pregnancies after a loss. I sincerely hope you are one of those women. If you're not, like many of us here, you may be surprised by the strength and courage you didn't know you had. Have faith in yourself. The end result is worth the heartache. 

char245

@stephalee1004 I’m so sorry for your loss! @ruby696 pretty much said everything I would say. I’ve had two MMC and still feel the way you do about being terrified to try again but in the end I know it’s going to be worth it for us so I’ve kept going. The support of the ladies on this board has also helped a lot! I hope your stay here is not long but welcome to our group!

stephalee1004

Thank you so much! I am so sorry that we are all going through this. I am so thankful for the encouraging words and warm welcome.

mackorori

@stephalee1004 I'm so sorry you find yourself here.  I echo what the other ladies said...the loss of innocence is so hard and after three losses sometimes I wonder why we are putting ourselves through this. But I believe one day will be our day, so we moved forward and take it one step at a time.  I hope your journey here is short lived.  

Mack2342

@stephalee1004 I agree with previous posts. Glad to see you jumped over here.  I think you will find this group of ladies to be helpful on so many levels. 

stephalee1004

Thank you! 

emeraldcity603

@stephalee1004 I'm so sorry you find yourself here. I know the fear you are talking about. I experienced the same thing right after my loss. All the emotions can be so hard to process. I hope you stick around. This board has been very helpful. I hope you stay is short. ❤

bakerstreetboys

@stephalee1004 I'm sorry that you find yourself here.  I echo what the other ladies have said; give yourself time.  This is a great group of ladies with a lot of advice and support

lipa86

I’m sorry you had to go through this. I had a Mc at 9 weeks my first pregnancy and now recently a chemical pregnancy at a little over 6 wks . Both were at home . If it’s any reassurance after my first mc I went on to have a successful pregnancy hoping the same will happen this time as well. Stay positive you are stronger than you think. My ob reassured me both times that most people go on to.  Have a successful pregnancies  after miscarriage stay strong stay positive 

stardust51

@stephalee1004
I am so sorry, I am a total lurker on various bump boards, but wanted to comment to your post. I had a MMC Dx on Thursday, no HB baby measured 9.5 weeks but it was 11.5 week scan.  I took misoprostol yesterday in place of a D&C..
I don’t know if I can honestly try again and put myself in that position. 
I am sure being the first pregnancy makes it a lot harder for you.
I am here if you want to talk, not that I am an expert as this was my first pregnancy but I can 100% relate to your story.

emeraldcity603

@stardust51 I'm so sorry for your loss. 

stardust51

@emeraldcity603 thank you so much! I am sorry you have to be on this board, I never knew how hard a PG loss could be.
I hope for all the best for you in your TTC journey ❤️