I've take my kids to daycare when they are open, even if I am off. Including xmas eve when I spent the day napping and lounging on the couch. DH tried to make me feel guilty, like, don't you want to hang with your kids on a holiday....nope! I want some "me" time, and if that means they are the only kids at daycare, so be it!
Momma to Amelia Marie (7/14) and Austin Samuel (11/17). Adding baby (girl) #3 on 7/21
@ameliabedelia-2 You deserve the downtime First tri is butt-kicking exhaustion and any opportunity to be a total couch potato should be taken advantage of.
DD and DH went to my in-laws without me from the 25 (back on the 31st) because I had “so much work to do”...really the office has been empty, we have been doing 2+ hour lunches and I left early to shop...
I am a stay at home mom and my kids go to an in home daycare 2 days a week. 1 so I can workout so my husband doesn’t get in trouble for getting off work early. 2. To do grocery shopping and errands. And occasionally we switch days so that they are at daycare while my husband is off work so we can have a date day. People get angry at me for this but I have zero help and my husband is gone from the kids waking up right up until bedtime. I have no help from family or friends so I literally never get a break. Even when they go to daycare it doesn’t seem like a break because I have so much to do and the day goes by so freaking fast. Lol
also I’ve been having a hard time showering. The only time I can shower is at night when my kids go to bed. By that time I’m already extremely sick and have already puked a few times. Showering makes me puke even more. So I’ve been slacking off. I only shower if I leave the house (about 3 times a week LOL) but hey at least I do that 😂 On the bright side my hair is completely retrained not to be washed for a good week. It was getting super dry from me washing it so much and it feels much healthier now.
@ameliabedelia-2 I usually have pretty easy days on Fridays and often leave the office early. You can bet my daughter stays at daycare so I have a few hours to get some things done before I get her.
@bartonolivia people get mad at you for what?!? That's so crazy. My 2 kids go to their preschool 5 days a week 8:30-3pm and I stay home. My husband is only home with us when they are awake two days out of the week. I would seriously be so pissed if anyone had any comments as to why my kids go to school! They both started at 2, and this baby will to
@bear14+ my family just doesn’t think it’s necessary to pay for it. But they’re not helping so I tell them it’s none of their business. It helps keep my sanity & they learn a lot there. They also get to practice their social skills. They love it there so I’m not worried about it. My mom thinks she knows everything because she has 5 girls and a set of twins. But she was never a SAHM, never had to pay for daycare. And she had 2 older girls to help take care of us twins.
I got my NIPT results Friday and I swore I was having a girl. Could have put money on it. They told me no elevated risk for trisomies and I am having a boy. I cried quite a bit after since I still am in disbelief which I feel guilty for so I’ll just blame pregnancy hormones. Plus I have zero clue what I like for a boy name at all
@bartonolivia I’m a SAHM and my DD is starting preschool 2 mornings a week. People always have opinions but I need some me time and she needs some social time with other kids and to get used to not being around me 24/7 so the transition to school isn’t as brutal. Good for you for doing what you need to, screw what anyone else says!
I love my sister dearly, but I cannot spend more than a couple days with her. We are too different in the personality department and more than a couple days brings out my childhood frustrations with her. I was very, very happy to see her leave today after a week at my house.
@applegirl19 Don’t feel guilty! A lot of people will come down hard on women for wanting one sex and being sad, but it’s normal! With my first I wanted a girl desperately. I had always invisioned myself being a girl mom. I was really sad when I found out we were having a boy but I kept that to myself. But once I saw him on the ultrasound I knew he was perfect. I was so in love with him even before he was born and I have never wished he was anything but exactly who he is. When I got pregnant this time I didn’t care at all what we had. I expected another boy but surprise, it’s a girl!
@applegirl19 I was the oposite. With DD I was POSITIVE she was a boy. Like 100% sure. When I found out at the AS she was a girl I didn't believe them. Due to other issues we ended up having multiple ultrasounds in 2nd and 3rd tri and I asked them to check every time to make sure she was indeed a girl. I always pictured myself as a mom to boys. I cried when I found out. So did SO. But when we got pregnant with this one we were both hoping for another girl. Funny how quickly your mind changes once LO is actually here:)
@Panaceia It is funny how that all changes once you're in the thick of it. I think I always kind of wanted a boy, but when I got pregnant, DH got me excited about wanting a girl because he's really loved having a relationship with his best friend's daughters. When the 20w scan came up, as we sat in the waiting room I thought "this is not a girl, it's a boy", and it was a boy. We were both a little disappointed but moved on. Now, having had a boy for 4 1/2 years, I really do love it. He's wild but also terribly sweet and respectful. It'd be nice to experience the other side of the coin, but if I only have boys I will be just as thrilled. I think DH still wants a girl, but most of all just wants a child somewhat chiller than our current little spitfire to help balance things out haha.
I am having a lot of feelings about finding out. I know I’ll be happy as long as the babe is healthy (and here). But I am “supposed” to have two boys here with me... and I’ve loved my two boys so much. Having a girl would be weird for me. And I think a lot to process. Which makes me feel guilty.
On the other hand, I never want this baby to feel like a replacement. Like if DS1 hadn’t died, we never would have had them. And maybe that would be helped if it’s a girl? I dunno.
@mamanbebe I think the secret want for a girl again this time was mostly because we already have one and I feel like I would have no idea what to do with a boy now. But we would have been thrilled either way. As long as baby is healthy. And here. But like you I am hoping the next one is a little more chill than DD. Seriously. The child does not stop. And somehow she manages to find the thing most likely to cause maximum bodily harm in EVERY situation and then proceeds to do it. I love her energy but another like her will definitely turn my hair white!
@Happyin14 No matter the sex of this LO your first born will always be your first born. You will always have three children and none of them will ever feel like a replacemet. Because as you already know there is no replacing him. Or any of them. You will always love all your children equally and they will be able to feel that. Even to an Internet stranger like me your love for all your babies is so so evident. I hope you know that. ❤❤❤
Another board another board I’m on has a thread on gender disappointment. I’m already planning on going to the therapist if this is a boy. It’s the main reason I want to find out ahead. If it is a boy, I’m going to have to do some serious work to get comfortable with the idea. I have all sisters. I’ve only ever wanted a girl. I’ve only seen myself as a mom of girls. I feel SO GUILTY that I care this much about it. Hubs wants a girl as well. So I just feel like god is going to say, “Joke’s on you. Here’s a boy.” And we are planning one and done, so this is it. Fingers crossed.
@Panaceia I agree, I also don't really know what to do with girls now that I've had a boy. You definitely get comfortable with what you have going on, but I hope for our sakes, that the energy takes a slow dive with #2 so that we can preserve our youthfulness for just a few more years
@hakele, I know this is easier said than believed... but being a mom to a boy is the greatest. They are so snuggley and sweet and fun. You would love it.
@Happyin14 yeah... I have all boy cousins, my one cousin has all boys (5 of them, ages 5-22), I’ve taken care of lots of boys. I just don’t see it for me. It’s hard to explain, I guess. I know it’ll be fine either way, it’s just trying to reconcile those feelings. I actually already went to therapy to be okay with having a baby and that it could be either. So, I’m doing really well that I was cool with getting pregnant. It was a long journey.
@hakele I felt the same way with my first and got a boy. It was an adjustment during my pregnancy but buy the time he was here I was so madly in love with him. I don’t wish for a second he had been a girl.
@hakele, I know this is easier said than believed... but being a mom to a boy is the greatest. They are so snuggley and sweet and fun. You would love it.
I have 4 boys and am actually hoping for boy #5. I wouldn't have it any other way! Love, love, love being a boy mom.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
@hakele I know how you feel. My family is very matriarchal, I have a sister and we’re best friends, my cousins are also my best friends and we’re mostly girls. My sister had a girl and my two cousins just had baby girls. I just know girls. That’s my jam. Soooo I’m pretty sure we’re having a boy. And I know that I won’t LOVE a boy any less but still, it will take awhile to process. And for the record, that doesn’t mean we’ll be any less of amazing mamas.
I have one of each. I’m pretty sure this one is a girl, but in my heart I want another boy. My guy is the sweetest most loving thing ever and I want to clone him ❤️
Momma to Amelia Marie (7/14) and Austin Samuel (11/17). Adding baby (girl) #3 on 7/21
@hakele how did you and SO decide one and done? This pregnancy came when DH and I had given up on becoming parents. We had accepted that our lives would be just us and we were ok with it. We are now thrilled to get the baby we always wanted and the discussion has turned to how many. I'm leaning toward one and done and am curious how/why you came to that decision.
@cindler I always thought we would be two and done.. but thennnn we kind of changed our minds and decided on a third. I think your experience as parents will really guide how you feel about more. If I were you, I'd just think "maybe" and see how you feel at each stage of LO's life. You may find yourself wanting more or saying all set! I have friends on both sides of that fence!
I always just wanted 2. H didn't want any. After our first H wanted all the babies. I've said I'm done every time after kiddos 2-4 but here I am on 5.
Like @Bear14+ said, I would just see how it goes, you never know how you'll truly feel about it till you've been through it at least once and get to the bridge.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I always wanted 2, and then during my first pregnancy, DH and I talked about possibly 3. When DS was born, it was so challenging that DH changed his mind to one-and-done and I agreed because my marriage was more important than a hypothetical child. It took 2 1/2 years before he reconsidered adding another and it was more than 4 years before he agreed to actually trying for another. Parenthood is definitely a rollercoaster and although it's good to start having the conversation of how many early on, it may take considerable time for the dust to settle before you're fully ready to commit to a decision.
Re: FFFC 12/28
DD and DH went to my in-laws without me from the 25 (back on the 31st) because I had “so much work to do”...really the office has been empty, we have been doing 2+ hour lunches and I left early to shop...
Plus I have zero clue what I like for a boy name at all
People always have opinions but I need some me time and she needs some social time with other kids and to get used to not being around me 24/7 so the transition to school isn’t as brutal. Good for you for doing what you need to, screw what anyone else says!
we are all gonna get booted soon. 😂😂
On the other hand, I never want this baby to feel like a replacement. Like if DS1 hadn’t died, we never would have had them. And maybe that would be helped if it’s a girl? I dunno.
I feel SO GUILTY that I care this much about it. Hubs wants a girl as well.
So I just feel like god is going to say, “Joke’s on you. Here’s a boy.”
And we are planning one and done, so this is it. Fingers crossed.
madly in love with him. I don’t wish for a second he had been a girl.
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Like @Bear14+ said, I would just see how it goes, you never know how you'll truly feel about it till you've been through it at least once and get to the bridge.
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙